All About Ogres

A TALE ABOUT OGRES

The ogres were encamped some distance from the rest of the army - as was generally preferred. The day's fighting had been both long and hard, and by nightfall the ogres were ready to feast. There were many dead on both sides, and many mortally wounded who were now abandoned to a lonely death by victors too weary to care. This was good news for the ogres who were very hungry indeed.

"Fancy a bit of leg Oglog," snarled a particularly big, ugly and brutish Ogre.

"Don't I Captain!" growled Oglog drunkenly. He lurched forward to take the hunk of meat and fell head first into the camp fire. He lay there quietly for some time. The others watched him in a half interested way until his ears started to curl.

Shall we haul 'im out Capt'n," asked Flugg, a scrawny Ogre with a jutting jaw and surprising teeth.

"Naaa… I wouldn't bovver," advised Golgfag - the big, ugly Ogre who had proffered the leg to Oglog in the first place. He was watching Oglog's hair singe and quite enjoying it.

"Any chance of seconds Capt'n ?" enquired one of the youngsters who had joined the company only a month or two before.

Golgfag stopped chewing on the chunk of leg and turned to stare at the uppity yelp. "What do you mean, seconds?" he spat, "You 'avn't finished that Orc head I gave yer yet!"

"Weeell.." squirmed the youngster, "I doesn't really like Orc head very much… but I have eaten the eyeballs, look!" With that he grinned stupidly and held the grisly remains of the Orc. Even now you could just recognise the annoyed expression the creature had worn just before Golgfag killed it.

"Eyeballs… Eyeballs… never mind the eyeballs. You finish up that nice 'ead, den maybe we'll fink bouts seconds yer little toe-rag."

With that, Golgfag returned to gnawing on his bit of leg and watching Oglog. The drunken Ogre was really going quite nicely now and was definitely in for a bit of a shock when he woke up.

"Kids!" grumbled Golgfag. "Ow does they expect to grow up big and mean if they doesn't eat their greens."