It's hard to believe that Grand Theft Auto Online is now ten years old. This is a game that I've been playing with my friends since it launched way back in 2013. My buddies who were playing on PlayStation 3 during that time realized just how insane this game would be, and knowing I couldn't afford a copy they bought me mine on Xbox 360 just so I could experience it for myself.
Fast forward 10 years and it's been one of the multiplayer mainstays for us on pretty much every platform it's released on. From the wacky moments jumping cars into the Zancudo Air Force Base to steal a Jet to trying to halo jump onto a tiny raft in the middle of a lake, and everything in between, the escapades of the Tawdry Ballz crew have become something of legend and inside jokes within my friend group.
While we've succeeded in some insane missions, the Rockstar team has set up, from the heists in GTA Online to completing missions in order to finally unlock that Sniper Rifle at level 92 (a true goal for a few of us), most of our memorable moments happen with our failures - and our inability to get out of our own way.
To steal a phrase from the Grand Tour crew: we're ambitious...but rubbish.
To celebrate ten years of Grand Theft Auto Online, this playground that has brought me so many memories with friends over the last decade, here are ten moments that define my group's escapades - and ineptitude - in GTA Online.
10: No Time For Caution
One of the more recent examples of our prowess, we were undertaking a mission for Franklin in Los Santos. While myself and Pete were on the ground in our cars chasing the stolen Itali RSX, Shank and Brian decided that the Chopper would be the better approach.
Mistakes were made.
9. Chaos At McKenzie
McKenzie Air Field is one of my personal favorite places in GTA Online. As someone who owns nearly every jet in the plane, from the LAZER to multiple humble Cuban prop planes, I frequently take off from McKenzie as a way to escape the hustle and bustle of LSIA or even Sandy Shores Air Field.
In this instance, though, Shank and Brian decided to bring the hustle and bustle of Los Santos' overzealous police force to me. Superb parking job, as always, Shank.
8. Complete And Utter Chaos
One theme you might notice throughout these videos is that, frequently, we get in our own way. In one mission for the Diamond Casino, we stole some motorcycles and just let loose on the Los Santos freeway.
Nothing - absolutely nothing - goes right.
7. Shank Slices Brian In Half
So I saved up my GTA$ and bought a yacht, and by that, I mean I got a Shark Card on sale and blew it on this boat. Yet Brian might have preferred I not because, as we saw just a few examples earlier, Shank in a helicopter doesn't usually end well for him.
6. "On Tonight's Programme..."
Remember when I said we channel the old Top Gear, current Grand Tour hosts in how we play GTA Online? This clip might exemplify that a bit too much as Shank decides to do his best Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Hammond impression all in one take.
5. Molotovs Test Bradford's Mettle
Sometimes we want to watch the world burn. Or, more accurately, Shank wants to watch us all burn. In nearly every game we've played together, from the early days reviewing the original Dying Light when Shank Molotoved me to GTA Online, where he, spurned on by Brian's encouragement, aimed to sabotage a mission with a well-placed Molotov, Shank can't help himself.
Driving the humble GL (ingame the Dubsta), and trying to maneuver around these Molotov cocktails was a test of grit and driving ability.
4. Backstreet Boys Helicopter Cruise
Some of our best moments are set to the tune of Backstreet Boys' "I Want It That Way." Normally, everything goes well for us. Or, at least two of us. Brian, meanwhile...chose violence. This isn't the only time we've annoyed Brian with Backstreet Boys, but it's the first time he finally let loose on us (though...nothing happened).
3. Hey Pete, Let's Play Chicken
Sometimes you need to fill the time in between parts of the mission. After Shank decides to play chicken with a car, Brian and Pete pick up their own version of the deadly game...all while we don't have many lives to play with.
2. Prison Bus Mayhem
So what happens when your friends steal a prison bus and leave you to complete the mission by yourself? You end up landing a drug-running plane on the highway while your friends dink around in a prison bus for the remainder of the mission.
Side note: this one is a four-for-one, as prison buses really don't like us in GTA Online, as nearly every time we've stolen one, Chaos ensues. When Pete, Brian, and Shank tried to escort some prisoners, chaos unfolded around them. When Brian and Shank try to do it on their own, things go horribly wrong. Again. And when we try to save Gustavo again, the crew still can't get it right.
Prison Buses: amirite?
1. Backstreet Boys Heist Mayhem
I think if there is one clip of the four of us that personifies our group in GTA Online, it's this one. And guess what? It has a prison bus of its own, so you know things don't go well.
This is when heists were first introduced into GTA Online. My friends and I were on the second mission where we needed to relieve the LSPD of a prison bus of their own. This time, we were actually supposed to steal it. I think.
I don't quite remember because we kind of sang over the guy telling us what to do, singing "I Want It That Way." Shank and I, understanding the assignment, went all out, singing the iconic pop song despite the delay on each of our ends. Brian and Pete, however, just pouted.
Unfortunately, mayhem ensues. But this was probably the first time when it really sunk in for me just how crazy, wacky and over the top this game could be if we just leaned into what we did best: trolling each other.
Ten years of GTA Online has given me some incredible memories with my friends, and these are just the tip of the iceberg. So many moments were not captured because of broken audio settings or not having shadowplay running on our GPUs at the time. I mean, the first time we all met in person, all we did was spend two hours taking turns breaking into Zancudo on Brian's PS4. And I didn't even bring up the tale of Dolorez Kollinz or all the "trick shots" that failed miserably. Or the times we actually succeeded despite ourselves.
It's a game that has and continues to, keep us entertained for the last decade, and I can only hope its successor does the same.
What are some of your favorite moments in GTA Online? Let us know in the comments below.
