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The List: Why San Diego Comicon Sucks

By Garrett Fuller on July 18, 2011 | Editorials | Comments

Why San Diego Comicon Sucks

That right I said it. San Diego Comicon has become a complete joke. Sure all you fanboys (and I mean that in a good way) can take your road trips, buy your plane tickets and hope to get on G4TV’s coverage, but ask yourself what are you really going to see? This convention has outgrown itself. Here are my top five reasons why San Diego Comicon has become a complete laughing stock for gaming, comics, and the things that once made it great:

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5. Deepak Chopra

OK listen, I am all for people finding their spirituality. No matter you religion everyone has the right to believe in something beyond ourselves. I personally have nothing against Deepak Chopra either. He is a spiritual leader and some people need guidance. He doesn’t preach anything evil by any means, so who cares right? Well, he is going to be on a panel at Comicon. That is why I care. Since when do spiritual leaders attend events that show off anime girls and Slave Leia costumes? I mean really folks? The only Guru who should be attending comicon is the guy from the Star Trek Guru Blog. 

4. Star Wars

Hold your hate for one second, before I start. Star Wars has a Holy Grail at Comicon. It is a staple of Sci-Fi and every show across the country should have a place for Star Wars fans to attend. However, San Diego Comicon now has 12 panels dedicated to Star Wars. That equates to 3 panels a day. Now, I understand Star Wars is huge, but do we really need separate panels for Collectibles, Crafts, and a Hasbro Toy panel? I think this is getting ridiculous. Don’t get me wrong, Star Wars is awesome. But after a while you have to wonder how long SDCC can milk the cow. Yes it is a giant cow…but….after twelve glasses of milk most people puke.

3. Twilight

Need I say more? Hey listen, if Twilight can convert the common tween chick into a emo-goth game playing hotty who gets her first tattoo of a vampire on her lower back at the age of sixteen I guess it works out well for all of us.  I just cannot fathom the massive split in fandom.  Let’s look at this example. Picture the fan lines at the 1990 Comicon where dudes lined up in Avengers shirts that they made themselves in order to meet Stan Lee. Fast forward to the fan lines at Comicon 2011 when every single teen girl in Southern California skips school to drive to San Diego and catch a glimpse of Robert Pattison. Take time to re-read those two sentences and ask yourself, where did we go wrong?

2. TV

In some ways movies still have street credit. I don’t know why, Hollywood has butchered more comic book movies than they have had successes. But TV is another matter, if movie executives are the drug dealers of popular culture, TV executives are the pimps. Here is a short list of TV panels at Comicon that should make you sick to your stomach: Charlie’s Angels, Covert Affairs, TV Guide Magazine: Fan Favorites, Homeland, Entertainment Weekly Presents...Totally LOST: One Year Later, Community, Teen Wolf, Good Vibes, Disney Channel: Fish Hooks. After reading that list, the idea of Entertainment Weekly, TV Guide, MTV, and any other mass media outlet having anything to do with Comicon just flat out turns my stomach. Oh darn, here comes the milk… BARF!

1. GLEE

Let the outpouring of pure anger begin! I don’t like GLEE, I don’t watch GLEE, and I cannot believe someone thought it was a good idea to run a GLEE special after the Super Bowl. Why does GLEE do so well? Don’t think for one second that GLEE is not a monster. Read the article about Dave Groel and his experience with GLEE wanting to do a Foo Fighters or Nirvana episode (BTW Dave said no! He Rules!). GLEE is so annoying. GLEE makes me sick. GLEE is a complete joke as a view of how our world really works. GLEE is made by all the band kids who got picked on for years. And while I suppose they deserve revenge in some way, how did we come to this? Oh and last but not least….GLEE has a panel at Comicon.  I mean, really?

So there you have it folks, five reasons why San Diego Comicon has just become one big giant joke in 2011. Sorry if you are going. I mean, I suppose Max Brooks, the Game of Thrones panel, a potential Conan panel, the Guild Wars 2 and Star Wars: The Old Republic panels might just save the day. I say those things and then look above and see the other list of 5 things and well I am just done with SDCC I think.