MMOWTF: Do-It-Yourself MMO Rant
Dan Fortier returns this week to give us all an easy-to-use template for our very own MMO rant.
Editor's Note: This is an edition of a weekly column by Staff Writer Dan Fortier. The column is called "MMOWTF" and will look at some of the stranger or more frustrating events in MMOs as seen by Mr. Fotier. The opinions expressed are those of the author and not necessarily those of MMORPG.com, its staff or management.
I know there are quite a few of you who frequent the site and zealously pour through the news and forums and dream of being a great writer one day. What a thrill is must be to have a weekly column and have others marvel at the magnus opus you create! Sadly, not everyone has the chance to carve their name in the meaty flank of the internet on a regular basis and fewer still get recognized for their talent. With this in mind, I decided to create a Do-It-Yourself article so that everyone could share in the magic of this week's rant. All you have to do is fill in the blanks with the right set of words. Soon you too will be a master at angering your readers while offering no solutions. Enjoy!
Welcome back to another week of (attempt at an edgy metaphor). This week while I was (EULA violation) in (your favorite game I got to thinking about some of things that really bother me. (A couple sentences of hyperbole about a topic everyone is sick of) This week were going to (phrase to give the impression the topic will be covered throughly while being suitably vague) so (something you would do when expecting disaster)
My main beef with (popular game feature or mechanic) is that anyone with (amount) a (organ used for thinking) with enough time can abuse it easily in order to (advantage that casual players hate). This leads to massive problems for the developers when a sizable portion of their player base is either (negative emotion) or (action fanboys typically engage in). While I believe MMOs are not really designed to be (minority play style)-friendly, but even I can appreciate that certain limits need to be set on just how much an advantage you should get by (friendly yet obvious jab at hardcore gamers' social lives).
The way the industry is going I doubt we'll see a mainstream MMO that doesn't follow the (cliche) method of game design. (another cliche) so I can't imagine any of the really well funded projects doing anything radical that might (something rich people hate). We can bemoan the state of online games till (yet another cliche) but it still won't change the economic reality that MMOs live and die by. If (absurd time sink) allows them to keep their subscribers around long enough to keep a profit why should they care if anyone dislikes or disapproves of their business model? As long as (a game with eight million accounts) continues to dominate despite (something casual players hate) then I doubt we can expect any changes till (symbolic place for sinners) (something that happens to liquids at low temperatures).
Is it still possible to have fun in a game that has (previously mentioned feature or mechanic)? Obviously there are quite a few people who refuse to play a game that demands such a massive investment of time and simply immerse themselves in (activity that doesn't require an internet connection) rather than paying a monthly fee to work a second job just so they can reason people play games). The rest of the (witty remark about gamers with time constraints) crowd have to suffer in the few casual friendly games that come down the pipe, all the while (game company whose name rhymes with 'wiggle') launches an item-based (early 20th century passenger ship that was considered unsinkable), much to the joy of the Everquest faithful.
Perhaps if (obvious yet impractical solution to the above problem), then the two play styles wouldn't have to be mutually exclusive. The real issue is that the extreme of either camp will never be happy as long as the other is successful. Casuals feel like the content shouldn't be so time dependant and the achievers want to keep a monopoly on the things they have worked so hard for. In the end, the best thing you can do is (rhetoric about not turning games into something else to get upset about much less argue over).
That about wraps things up for this week so (shameless admission that I barely scratched the surface of a very broad topic). Tune in next week when I (another awkward metaphor) don't forget to (invitation to pick apart every syllable of the article in the forums while hinting you enjoy it). (cheesy yet mocking sign-off)!
There you have it. A short, shallow and thoroughly obtuse offering that is sure to make you infamous. Now all you need is a real name and a black check to write your own epic rant. Cheers.