Here is what I'm mad about right now, Cataclysm. It's consumed all of my senses. It's everywhere and I can't get away from it. I really didn't want to write about it at all. I started and abruptly deleted ten different articles, honest to god. Nothing was flowing from my creative faucet (see? Lame!), I just wasn't feeling it. Every single website I went to, including this one, had articles and banner adds that just sent the Cataclysm disease raging inside my system. No amount of vitamin C or penicillin could combat the illness.
"Why don't you just cave and write about it already?" I would question myself over and over, until the voice didn't sound like my own anymore. I'm composing potential masterpieces that are all about how totally awesome loot is and there's Cataclysm, looking at me with bedroom eyes. Then it whispers, "You think loot is awesome? I've got all the loot you'll ever need." So, I pretend like I don't hear it calling out to me, but it just gets louder and louder. Tangling me up into its web until I can no longer move, all the while assuring me that it alone can save me from the symphony of failure I have been composing. Still I resisted, until it just decided that it wasn't going to be nice any longer. That is when Cataclysm started screaming into my face, like I'm that old lady from the music video for "come to daddy" by Aphex Twin. That's when I realized I was out of options, I had no other choice.
Forgive me; I know not what I do.
Now it sounds like I'm either just procrastinating writing to play Cataclysm or I'm off my meds. Neither of those is actually true. I'm not schizophrenic; I don't actually hear Cataclysm calling out to me. It's just a literary device, holster yourself. Secondly, I am playing Cataclysm right now, but it's not on top of my "to do" list. It's not even close to my "to do list" it's on my "maybe do list". My "to do" list is usually something like this: work and then spend time with family, that's it. Except for on Fridays, when it goes like this: work, spend a little time with family, then get smashed with friends and play video games after the baby is asleep. Anyway, let me get this ball rolling by saying that Blizzard didn't reinvent the wheel with Cataclysm. Heck, they really didn't even reinvent The World of Warcraft. They didn't, search your feelings you know it to be true. They just put a fresh coat of paint on it.
"But they destroyed Azeroth... Stuff looks different and NPCs are dead... and stuff." It's all just cosmetic. After Heidi Montag came out of her plastic surgery chrysalis was she a different person? She most certainly was not. Everyone was shocked for about five minutes and then no one cared anymore, assuming you cared in the first place. Same thing with how the world changed in WoW.
Now I'm not going to lie. I was in Darkshore and saw that Auberdine was destroyed, I was genuinely stunned... for the mandatory five minutes. Then, all I thought of after that was "these stupid fissures are a pain in the ass." Nothing else was really shocking after that about how the world was changed. I just accepted things would be different. Honestly, the only reason I think that Auberdine gave me even the slightest pause at all is because it was the first place I saw that was greatly affected by any of the world changes. Anything after that wasn't really outrageous; it just made me appreciate how much work they put into the expansion.
Blizzard didn't just bust their asses with giving Azeroth a face lift; they did it with the story line too. They re-tooled levels one through sixty. That had to be a lot of work. It's not a lot of work for players anymore however. Now, you can level up way faster than before by just following the breadcrumbs. That still doesn't change how the game is played fundamentally. It just turns WoW into a race from levels one through sixty against a different back round. After that it's the same game it has been since The Burning Crusade.
Cataclysm was supposed to be a whole new game, but it ended up being just another expansion. Maybe I wouldn't be so cynical if Blizzard thought of two new classes to toss into the mix with the two new races. Granted Blizzard did a lot of work as it was, but what are two new classes? If you are going to turn all of vanilla WoW on its ear, go for the throat. Make your expansion truly epic. I don't doubt Blizzard thought of that already and have those two new classes in their back pocket. I am willing to bet they are just waiting for the next expansion to drop them on us. I guess I know what will bring my account out of deep freeze the next time an expansion rolls around.
OK, so I have officially got it out of my system! I can no longer hear the call of Cata-Cthulhu beckoning me. Hope no one's feelings got hurt. No, I take that back, I don't actually care if feelings got hurt. I didn't say anything vicious at all. If your feelings got hurt, sack up. I think that WoW's new expansion is a lot of fun. It breathes new life into vanilla WoW. Maybe I just don't get excited about stuff like I once did or maybe I'm just less naive. I defiantly don't think it deserves as much hype as it got. I can already tell that it's going to get to be the same old song and dance sooner or later (with my attention span it will probably be sooner) and people who came back to WoW for Cataclysm will be over it. So, let us make a pact never to talk about WoW again, at least until the next expansion comes out and everyone all over the internets can whip themselves into a furry over that.