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The Carnival of the Ascended

Paul Crilley Posted:
Columns Chronicles of One Telaran 0

Roll up, roll up! And welcome to the Carnival of the Ascended! Where you are a guaranteed winner every time. Well, not really, as Caedryn's dismal skills at carnival games is about to show. But it is time for the Carnival, Rift's first anniversary celebration.

As Trion says, "You've never seen a party like this, with hours of new solo, group, raid, PvP, crafting gameplay, and more event quests than ever before! In these turbulent times, the people of Telara have arranged a festival to honor their immortal protectors. Giant floats mock the dragons as parades prepare to set forth across the great roads. Carnival boats sail for Fortune’s Shore to host and oversee the games and booths going up around the bay, promising a joyful riot of laughter and light."

Sounds good. Caedryn can do with a bit of cheering up. He's getting a bit tired of waiting for a group invite so he can complete the Profane Priests quest. A bit of light-hearted entertainment will do him wonders.

P-A-R-T-Y spells Carnival time! Well, it doesn't really, but spelling was never one of Caedryn's strong points.

So Caedryn's first port of call is a fortune teller. She's the first stall you come to as you enter the Carnival. I ask her to tell my fortune, but she speaks so quickly I don't have time to write it down. I ask her again but she seems a bit reluctant to repeat herself.

"Today you will stop shoving me or I will murder you in your sleep! The signs are hazy. Return later."

Er, OK then. If this is what she's like on the first day of Carnival what's she going to be like at the end? I reckon those boxes behind her will be filled with severed body parts.

Ever heard of customer satisfaction? It means you don't threaten to murder your clients.

I decide to move off before the fortune teller goes psychotic and head over to the Balloon Stomp. A simple enough game. Step on a certain amount of balloons within a certain time period and win a prize ticket. No hassle. Caedryn can do this.

Except it seems he has a bit of difficulty landing on the actual balloons. He gets it eventually, but not before scaring all the children away with his swearing.

Why won't you pop?!

Caedryn got it in the end, so he moves on to the Mini Mount Racing. When I first heard about this I was excited, as I  pictured a Mario Kart-type mini game where our characters actually get to race around a track. That would be AWESOME. (Trion, take note.) But this is more of a carnival game in keeping with the others. Wooden horses race around a little track and you have to jump up and down on a pad to push your horse into the lead. I picked red. You can see how that went by the picture below.

"Everyone's a winner? Lies, all lies!"

Turns out old Caedryn was getting overexcited and jumping up and down too… enthusiastically. (Tip: you have to pace your jumping otherwise your horse gets tired.)

Right. What’s next? Ring Toss. Wha-hey! Caedryn can do that. Toss some rings on a pair of captured sea caps. It's not cruelty to animals or anything. It can't be. It's the Carnival.

"Stop squealing in pain, sea caps! It's only a metal ring I'm throwing very hard at you!"

OK, that's a few of the games played, but there are also daily quests to carry out during the Carnival. The first of these is to help build Guardian dragon balloons for the upcoming parade, (which kicks off next week, I believe). You have to deliver special crafting materials and balloon parts to Aenycha at the parade grounds outside Sanctum. I suppose so she can blow up the balloons or something. Caedryn tries to do the quest, but Aenycha doesn't want to talk to him. I mean, all he said was that her corset looked good on her. It wasn’t as if he said anything inappropriate.

I decided it was time to head through the portal to Shimmersand to see what the party was like on that side of the world.

Er. Yes. It was… ominous, to say the least.

"Er, hello? I'm here for the party?"

The Carnival in Shimmersand is held aboard a couple of ships moored off the coast. The thing is, it's hard to enjoy yourself when you're constantly being shouted at to protect some random caravan that's being attacked by bandits. I mean, I checked it out and everything, seeing as I’m such a nice guy. But the bad guys are all level 50. Sorry for you, caravan people. I'm going to spend my time jumping on balloons instead.

There are a few stalls that aren't open yet. I assume they will unlock as they days go by, so I'll be sure to check in again. But right now I return to Sanctum so I can cash in one of my prize tickets for a Carnival tabard. What do you think? Looking good, hey?

Pretty snazzy tabard there, Caedryn. If I do say so myself.


Paul Crilley