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Survivor Guy: Darkfall Edition #2

Adam Tingle Posted:
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Pills, thrills and Broken Bones

When Saturday came, I was ready for the come-down of my Deathclaw-experience. Things still had to be done, and I had a top hatless wolf-man but I needed to knuckle down and return to the wilds of Darkfall. Heading downstairs that fateful morning, I did the British thing of preparing a cup of tea – fuel for my upcoming adventures and journeys. After stirring in the sugar I turned around and faced my brother.

What happened next was not unlike something from the aforementioned game. I had in my hands a hot and steaming cup of comfort, and my sibling, a greedy sort, wanted what was mine. Being brothers and being of a silly age, what occurred next was immature fighting and horseplay. A few moments later, I successfully retreated into my room, cup of tea in hand, and then I noticed a small mass of pink and red where my thumb once was.

Somehow in the ‘Battle of Tingle Kitchen’ I had caught my thumb or my brother had caught my thumb with his clenched fist. Whatever the case, it didn’t move, or work properly and definitely wouldn’t have been able to engage in a thumb war. So, what became of the rest of the day? A plastic seat In the Accident and Emergency department of my local hospital and chip on my shoulder is what.

Another day had been wasted and now Darkfall was absolutely screaming for attention, I was the survivor guy I kept reminding myself. Returning home bandaged and looked at by doctors, I decided that tomorrow, tomorrow would be the day for online exploits, may Zeus be my witness.

Zeus is a Bad Witness

Sunday arrived and I clambered out of bed, bleary eyed and annoyed at the world, and finally I headed off in my car to work. Arriving back around 6am, I marched towards my PC, switched on my computer and hovered my mouse around the Darkfall icon. The voices started – perhaps we could spend a small amount of time browsing Wikipedia? Maybe even claim that hat for your Worgen? Well, the latter was out of the question but the former? Could I really pass up the time to read about the production details of Home Alone 2? No not really.

The hours tumbled away and so did my sanity. Darkfall was an enjoyable romp but I could not master my willpower. I sat there, with a broken thumb and a broken spirit simply wanting to scream into my hands. It was 10:12pm and I hadn’t played for a number of days, what was I playing at? Straightening up, I clicked the shortcut for the game and finally got on with my task.

I appeared in game, sat semi-naked on the coast line like a Jaws rape victim. Deciding my best options, I headed toward the nearest bank and hopefully toward some replacement gear. Alas, I would never find out what gear awaited me as you wouldn’t believe what happened next. No seriously, you won’t.

Running through the wilderness in-game, I heard an almighty crash – at first I thought it was my computer. Startled I looked around my room and then came the piercing sound of my car’s alarm. Scrambling at my blinds, I looked outside and there was my beautiful Mini, crumpled and broken – looking further up the street was another car, its wheel completely off, and a man stumbling around and finally, retreating into the night.

I think the gods of gaming did not want me to write a survival series about this game, I truly don’t. I spent my Sunday night, Monday morning surveying the damage to my car, giving statements to the police and finally, settling to an uncomfortable slumber at around 6am. All attempts at gaming were now impossible, I spent the day wrestling with insurance companies and trying to sort out the mess left by a drunken driver who had a penchant for smashing up my property. Oh if I was in Darkfall, revenge would be on the cards.

And to Conclude

It has been a funny old week all in all. My own laziness and inability to knuckle down has well and truly bitten me in the arse, the gods of fate simply haunting me with a broken thumb and a broken car. So if you would, please excuse a slightly odd Survivor article but come on, have you ever been so unlucky in one week?

So please if you would, join me next week as I promise that my adventures in Darkfall will indeed continue, because if they don’t, you can come and smash up my car too.

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Adam Tingle