It has come to my attention that there are quite a few guys that know how to get a girl on the internet, and yet still some don't. Being a female myself, and therefore not being bound by some sort of bromantic no-talk secrecy, I thought I would make a written guide explaining the steps to take to get the girl of your dreams. In this case, she exists in your computer. Now, there are many ways to go about getting a girl, but I will try to keep it to the best and most effective ways of doing so.
Quite possibly one of the most effective ways to get a girl on the internet is to make negative remarks in regards to her looks, intelligence, or why not just attack her for being female? Not only will she notice you, but you'll finally feel she is giving you the attention that you deserve. Especially since you took the time out of your day to recognize her existence. Don't worry, this may be seem like negative attention, but it's an effective tactic and has been tested on many females and I've yet to see it fail on any of them. If she blocks you, or puts you on ignore, it was likely just a slip of the finger and you should definitely make a new account and continue where you left off.
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If this fails, and it shouldn't, but if it does, then you should stalk her on her social networking sites, in the games she plays, and send her emails via her public email roughly 5-10 times a day. In fact, try to track down her private emails as well. You should tell her how you feel about her and that you want to get to know her personally. That perhaps you two should meet sometime and that, if you're not mistaken, you believe she is the girl that used to live on the same street as you growing up in Ohio (she never lived in Ohio). If she doesn't respond to you at first, it is safe to assume that she is likely busy, she does have a busy life after all.
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You'll have to read every single tweet each day because it'll be a way of feeling connected to her. Plus it'll look like you care if you know that exactly how many times she tweeted in a single day (i.e. exactly 13 times today, well I guess 14 if you include the one she deleted). Her tweets will lay out quite a few details and you'll get to learn things like how the other day she got up rather late then went out to eat with some friends. Since you live a couple hours away from her, you can look the place up on google and make reference to how you want to take her out to dinner sometime. You'll even drive. She'll be bound to notice you for your dedication eventually. Just be sure to reassure her that you're a nice guy over and over.
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If you're not the mushy type, then you can do something similar, but taken in a different direction. It does involve stalking her and looking up personal information, but this time instead of trying to form a connection with her, you're going to use it against her. I know, I know, it sounds bad, but trust me when I say that it is worth it. The info could be as simple as a tweet, facebook post, photo, forum post, or perhaps a blog that she wrote a few years back. Whatever it is, copy and paste away, my friend, and be sure to take it completely out of context. Post it on the sites she frequents. This includes her facebook, twitter, youtube, her streams, forums, and you get the idea... If you spread the word enough she's bound to notice eventually.
Persistence, my friend, it's all about persistence.
Hillary "Pokket" Nicole
Twitter: @Pokketsays
Facebook: /pokketsays
Youtube: /pokketproductions
