I didn’t start playing Soulslike games until the last couple of years. The concept of dying over and over again was something that frustrated me immediately. But when I finally got the chance to play one, everything clicked. When everything else in life sucked, I could just learn how to beat a boss using the tools that the game gave me, and that kind of triumph after rounds of getting KO’d repeatedly offered the exact boost of serotonin I was looking for. But there was one thing missing: I was playing alone.
I have avoided soulsike games most of my gaming life. A genre coined by FromSoftware and their Dark Souls series, this game type thrives on failure. When I accepted my failure as a moment to learn, something inherently shifted in me. In my daily life, I try to not let failure or closed doors keep me from progressing in my career. But when it doesn't mean I like failing at, well, anything. In soulslike games, that failure comes in quick succession and at times, continues for hours before you begin to succeed or even just learn.
Failing makes me want to crawl out of my skin. On the outside, I'm fine, adjusting to it and changing my approach to get to the next step. But internally, I'm screaming. My stomach tightens and my anxiety shoots through the roof. It's how I was raised, my mom's voice telling me I have to be three times as good as the people around me, driving that stake of failure deep into my bones.
On paper, I should hate soulslikes and any kind of content that causes you to die repeatedly until you learn. But once I learned that there is a blast of serotonin that comes from beating a boss who has spent the last hour smashing you into the ground. It feels akin to checking off a task on a to-do list. Everything sucked, and then, it didn't. I sucked, and then I didn't. After that first success, it became clear that to fall in love with soulslikes, you have to fundamentally change your relationship with dying in games and in failure. And when you add in other people, it becomes something even more special.
It may be weird, but I don’t play video games to play alone. I’ve always been focused on multiplayer games, but over the last decade, gaming has become a way for me to spend time with my husband. Meaning that I would rather put hours into a co-op game or an MMO to hit the spot. For us, Final Fantasy XIV has been that connective tissue in our relationship and offered us a way to pay together but also to be a part of a Free Company.
It’s that last part that’s important. A Free Company and the raid static that comes with it opened up a whole new layer to FF14. It’s tapped into that serotonin boost that soulslike games offer by opening up Extreme and Savage trials.
Extreme Trials push back against job homogenization. They cause you to think about the differences in sustainability between a Paladin (hi, that’s me) and a Dark Knight. They force you to use Shirk, an ability that allows you to put enmity to another player, and something I just don’t use outside of raid nights thanks to the simplification of general Trials and their extremely large hitboxes. Extreme content makes you learn mechanics, and you wipe.
You and your party will likely get party wipe more than once, hell, way more than twice. But you learn the fight. More importantly, you learn the fight with other people. You drop markers, call out moves, and ultimately, the game begins to unfold in front of you. Yeah, the MSQ has always been a reason to play FF14, but the Extreme content offers a challenge that captures the community the best.
Dawntrail is the first time that I’ve been caught up enough to have an item level ready for Extreme (EX) content immediately. Valigarmanda is the first trail that we chose to take on for prog. We cued for Worqor Lar Dor EX, loaded in, and set up two light parties, one in front of the other. Melee with melee and ranged with ranged. We started the countdown, and we pulled.
But this was prog, which means we were all set on running Worqor Lar Dor EX until the timer timed out, and we all knew that we wouldn’t clear it. When you and your group prog, you’re playing for progression. You’re entering each fight hoping to making just one more mechanic than the last time. You’re ready to die, a lot. But when you pull off the mechanic that had been ending your run, the excitement is unbeatable. Then you die again.
The only other time I felt this kind of excitement and upskilling was when I played soul-like games. I enter each fight knowing I’m not going to win but completely open to learning something new about my kit, the combat mechanics, or just making use of what the zone had taught me through trash mobs and minibosses. But in FF14 EX content, it’s not a solo celebration when we finally succeed. It’s a Discord chat with seven other people hooting, hollering, and screaming expletives in excitement because the two tanks took Mountain Fire flawlessly, and the healers kept us at close to full HP.
The idea of failing over and over isn’t ideal for some, but for me, it’s what keeps me raiding and growing in my role as a Tank. It’s also why I don’t seek out soulslikes because “winning” and ultimately “getting good” doesn’t feel the same when you’re doing it alone. For me, Extremes, Savages, the harder content in FF14 are a way to go beyond the job homogenization issues and ultinmately connect with my Free Compnay. We learn together and win together. And then, we do it again. Whether its for gear, a mount, or just the high of a clear, I wouldn’t be in love with FF14 if it wasn’t for its ability to ramp up difficulty.
I am not a hardcore raider by any means. But every Sunday we lock into a different EX, prog, and learn how to beat it. We connect with each other, we understand each others classes, and come out the other side better players. Extremes are my soulslikes, and I welcome the challenge.
