Before everyone grabs their torch and pitchfork, this is a new column aimed at poking a little fun at the MMORPG genre and how many of the popular or not-so-popular games of new and old share a plethora of similarities. To start things off, we’ll be picking some low-hanging fruit with Final Fantasy XIV because, deep down, we all know it’s exactly like World of Warcraft but with different types of furries.
To start things off, both World of Warcraft and Final Fantasy XIV expect players to put in dozens, if not hundreds, of hours before you get to the real content and the gameplay finally becomes fun. At least that’s what people say, but it might just be sunk costs creating a form of Stockholm syndrome. We’ll never know because once players hit ‘endgame’ they’re never heard from again.
Then there are the instanced dungeons. Completing these is typically required for continuing the main scenario quest for your given expansion. They’re usually the culmination of a story chapter, and you’ll likely enter them through a random queue.
You’re probably a DPS because why wouldn’t you be, and the queue will be 20+ minutes long. Someone will forget to confirm once your queue pops at least 3 times before you actually get into the dungeon. This will definitely be your tank’s first time playing and your healer will be specialized for damage.
After wiping on the final boss, who has maybe two mechanics worth paying attention to, a dozen times, your party will be rewarded with a pile of shiny loot. Of course the Summoner/Warlock will argue with the Red (Mage) over who gets the blue accessory that just dropped. Don’t worry, you’ll be sure to replace whatever you find in story dungeons shortly after with some random quest reward. That level 41 epic Shadowmorth sword is clearly inferior to the level 42 green Stabbystik.
Eventually, depending on how the current expansion dictates level requirements, you’ll likely end up in some type of PvP. Yes, Final Fantasy XIV does have PvP even though most players pretend it doesn’t exist. It could be argued that World of Warcraft is different because it has open world PvP servers, but there would actually have to be players on them for that to matter.
The type of PvP most people will play is similar enough: Arenas or Battlegrounds. Do you want to fight your opponents head on in an honorable deathmatch or spend 15 minutes backcapping only to be swarmed by 10 enemy players immediately after leaving stealth? The choice is yours alone.
In the end, it’ll always be the same. You’ll logon once a week to grind weekly missions, maybe do a dungeon or raid with your guild. However, the true end game is actually collecting shiny outfits, pets, or arguing with ‘AngryBooger420’ in Barrens chat or Novice Network.
Eventually, you’ll tell yourself that it’s time to unsub, but have no fear for the next expansion was just announced! Only 6 more months until you’ll be enjoying the game again.