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Speaker for the Galaxy, speaker for the dead

Star Wars Galaxies was the greatest MMORPG I ever played. I miss it and I want to talk about the game I once knew and loved, hoping upon hope it will return again in all it's glory and wonder.

Author: Ichben

Speaker for the Galaxy, Speaker for the Dead (Entry #2)

Posted by Ichben Thursday November 12 2009 at 8:55PM
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Today I went to a bar and I drunk a lot of beer and liquor. I got wasted, I got hammered and I got drunk. I nearly passed out and was barely able to make it home before I became a victim of my own darkness, a victim of my misery.
 

When I entered my house on that dark and dreary night I entered a house that was dead. I had no friend to comfort me, no partner to hold my hand and not a companion who could possibly understand what I was going through because my friend, my partner and my companion were all dead and gone. They had died along with the galaxy and they had died and gone to the stars.They died, and with their death, a little part of me died along with them. Little parts of my soul and spirit are dying every day and I don't know how to stop the blood from bleeding through my brain. I don't know how to stop the blood, from driving me insane!!!
 

I think about them often and I miss them terribly. I miss them so bad it hurts to even breathe!! I love them more now than I ever did when they were alive and it pains me to admit that, but it's the truth. When were were alive and well and together as a family we had some great adventures. We had good times and bad times. We laughed and we cried. We kissed and we loved each other the best way we could. We loved each other until the night was blue and the day was young. We did everything together, we were a family.
 

Everything was fine in our world until the dark man came. When the man in the black suit came he ruined everything and everything we knew and loved were lost. He turned the stars into dark clouds and the rainbows into frightening storms of thunder and lightening, striking at our hearts and souls with devestating hunger and unbelievable pain. The terrifying storm was killing softly, it was killing us slow and we knew we couldn't live in a world like this. We knew we could not live in a world full of thunder and lightening, full of heartache and suffering, created by an evil man dressed in black with an evil smile and wicked grin. We knew we had to go away, and go away we did. We said our goodbyes. Kissed our loved ones goodbye. And said our final goodbyes to the galaxy. The galaxy that filled our hearts with gold.

Tonight I went to a bar today and tonight I drunk a lot of beer. I nearly drunk myself to sleep that night, I nearly drunk myself to death. Sometimes I wish I had died because the lonliness I feel when I walk into that empty house is unbearable. With no galaxy, who do I go to talk too? Who do I share my secrets with? And who do I share my dreams? What am I suppose to do in a world with no lights and a world with no sabers?
 

Almost everyday I cry myself to sleep. Praying I don't wake up, praying I have a lovely dream about the galaxy and its glory days of old. Luckily for my sake, most of my dreams are sweet dreams because my dream takes place in the galaxy. It is here where I am most happy, here where I am most alive. I wish I could stay alseep forever and never leave for good. That way i would not have to resort to the bottle and drink myself to sleep.
 

I wouldn't have to take drugs and swallow a lot of pills to feel like I"m in heaven because I would already be in heaven, I would already be a god in the sky. Instead I am a mere mortal, forced into running in a rat race with no end in sight. A race with no finish line, only circles of pain and circles of darkness all throughout the race. I am stuck here with the rats and the prolls of this dark and dreary world when I'd rather be somewhere else, somewhere other than here.
 

Sometimes I wish there was a magic door I could go through. A door that would take me to other worlds and other places than these. A world that could take me to another galaxy in time. I know there are other worlds out there. And I know there are other places than these because my friend told me so. My friend, Jake, a boy from the galaxy I once knew and loved, told me there were other world's than these. I didn't believe him at first, but than he showed me and I was a believer, I knew it was true!!!
 

He showed me the world's right before he died when the galaxy was ripped into pieces by the dark man, the man in the black suit. When he died my hopes and dreams died along with him. The galaxy was destroyed and so where my hopes and dreams.
Someday we will meet again, my galaxy, my friends, my lovers. Someday we will all meet again in the place where there is no darkness. The place where there is no time. And we will be happy again. We will love each other the way we use too. We will love each other the way brothers and sisters do when they are playing together. The way husbands and wives do when they are making love. We will love each other and the galaxy will love us back. All will be WELL!!!

But for now that love will have to wait. The galaxy is gone and the world as we know it is dead. I am lonely and scared, frightened and alone and I do not know where to run or hide. The only thing I know how to do is drink the juices of the green fairy, and smoke her beautiful grass. Until the day comes when I see her again, my galaxy, my baby girl of old.

 

Speaker for the Galaxy, Speaker for the Dead(Entry 1)

Posted by Ichben Tuesday November 10 2009 at 6:45PM
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I do not know if the galaxy is gone. Hell I don't even know if it is dead or alive. The thing I remember most when I left the galaxy on that fateful day in November of 2005 was the feeling of utter despair and misery. I felt pain for the galaxy and pain for her children apart of this galaxy who loved it just as much as I. I miss the galaxy, and the galaxy misses me. It misses each and every one of us who were apart of this once glorious world now gone forever in our hearts, and gone forever in time.
 

Everybody played a part in making it a special place. Everybody played a role in making the galaxy feel like a second home to all involved. It was my second home, my second place of comfort and safety. It was my second home and now my second home is gone. It has gone away forever and my life has not been the same ever since.
 

My life has been a living hell without the galaxy. I lost everything I ever loved. I lost my friends to the combat upgrade and I lost my loved one to the NGE. The NGE killed my baby!! It killed my baby girl and and I never saw her again. My baby girl was dead, and now so was I.
 

It has been a long time since I've felt alive. And it's been even longer since I've felt happy. On November of 2005 when the galaxy fell to the hands of the dark side all those years ago, I tried loving someone else, I tried to play WoW, but the experience simply wasn't the same as that of the galaxy.
 

Nobody wanted to roleplay. Nobody wanted to hold my hand, smell the roses or go fishing on a day when the air was cool and the sun was bright. Nobody wanted to lie down on the grass and gaze into the sky admiring the bright and shiny stars in the bright and shiny night. I tried making friends with the common folk, but that experiment was a complete diaster. Most of the citizens of this world were mean to me. They called me names, telling me to "fuck off" and "grow a pair you fag!!!"
 

Yes you read that right they called me a fag. They said I was a "spry little cherrypicker" and told me to go away and never come back again. So with a heavy heart and a tear in my eye, I packed up my things and left the world of Warcraft, I left the world for good. I didn't even bother looking back. I just kept right on walking, looking straight ahead into the distance. Ignoring the shouts and the catcalls from behind me as I move on teh my next destination. .
 

On my way out the door they threw objects at my head, calling me a crybaby, calling me a queer. And maybe I am a crybaby and I just might be a queer. If being a queer means taking pleasure in roleplaying with your fellow brothers and sisters than so be it...I AM A QUEER!!! Chicken soup may be good in a bowl but roleplaying is good for the soul.
 

So call me a crybaby, call me a queer, I don't care anymore because I miss my galaxy. I miss my baby girl!!. Sometimes when I sleep at night I dream of the galaxy. I dream of the dead that once were, the dead souls who once roamed this glorious and beautiful galaxy and made it the special place it once was, but now they are gone, now, they are dead and gone and so is my heart and soul. 
 

I dream of the sabers and the stars in the sky. I dream of the dancers in the catina, the cooks in the kitchen and the doctors and nurses in the hospital room making everybody well. In this dream I am alive again. I am free to be the man I want to be. In this dream I can role play to my heart's content. I can roleplay with others and sing my song of songs without feeling guilty, embarassed or ashamed of my actions and behavior.
 

In this world, this glorious galaxy, I can be innocent along with everybody else. That is what made the galaxy so great and special, so great and so grand!!! The freedom and ability to shape the world the way you see fit. The ability to to build a house, start a family, become a mayor of a town or a bounty hunter of the night, traveling the world in search of Jedi to hunt and kill. This is what life in the galaxy should be like, this is the world I use to know and love.
 

I awake form this dream with tears in my eyes because I know the dream is over. And I know the nightmare has begun. It begins everytime I hear that alarm clock and every time I wake up. This nightmare has been going on for years and has made me a very nasty and bitter man. I am no longer the person I once was. I am a shadow of my former self. I can no longer dance in the galaxy the way I use too. I can no longer sing my song of songs in the starport of coronet.
 

I miss my pink hotpants and I miss the warm sun on my beautiful soft skin as I dance nude in front of an audience of eager travelers and explorers of different races and different professions, going to different places to do different things. Right now, at this moment in time I am lost. I am unfound, but as the galaxy as my witness, I will find a way out of the darkness, I will find the light at the end of the tunnel and me and my galaxy will be together again. We all will be together again as one big family and one big community.
 

I will find my baby again if it is the last thing I do. The galaxy and I will be together again, but in the meantime. I will speak on behalf of the galaxy and all it's long lost souls. I will speak of it's good times and it's bad. I will be the speaker of the galaxy, I will be the speaker for the dead.