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Gaming To Hell In A Handbasket

The trials, tribulations and musings of an MMO veteran trying to find the next holy grail.

Author: Strayfe

EULA Monkeys; A Question for the Community

Posted by Strayfe Wednesday December 5 2007 at 6:51PM
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Just a short entry today.  It needs to be said though.

EULA Monkey is a derogatory term that I've developed for a certain subspecies of MMO gamer.

A EULA Monkey is roughly the MMO equivalent of the teacher's pet.  This person (generally an older, religious type), reads through and can quote any section of the EULA at any time.  They then antagonize other players, bending and weaving their way around rules, expertly taking potshots and inciting arguments.  If someone attempts to retaliate, defend themselves, or otherwise counter in any way, the EULA Monkey will immediately report them to a GM, and use their intricate knowledge of the EULA to get said player banned, despite the fact that it was the Monkey who initiated and provoked the conflict.

Let me tell you something.  This may be only my opinion, there may be others who share it, I'm not sure.

In my opinion, there are few people worse in an MMO than the Thin-Skinned Snitch.  The EULA Monkey.

A friend of mine received a suspension from FFXI recently.  The EULA Monkey in question initiated the argument with my friend by essentially suggesting that all thieves (thief is an FFXI class, basically equivalent to a rogue) are useless, mean-spirited people who ruin the game.  Initially, my friend responded with incredulity and surprise, but not with any venom.  When this person went on to suggest that all people who play a thief in FFXI were also thieves and liars in real life, my friend took the gloves off.

He called this person a "f__king b__ch".

The EULA Monkey immediately reported him to a GM, ostensibly for "harassment".  He received a one week suspension from the game.  This other person received no punishment, no warnings, and proceeded to brag about it on a public forum that we both frequent.

This is further exacerbated by the fact that my friend is a the main puller for our Dynamis runs.  Dynamis' are difficult, instanced raid-type encounters in FFXI, for as many as 64 people, though they can be cleared with as few as 20-25 if the players are extremely competent.

So, essentially, a single EULA Monkey snitch managed to disrupt the entire inner working of a week's worth of Linkshell events, with a single, turbid, disgusting display of snitching.

Here's the kicker.  There is an ignore function in FFXI, just as in almost every MMO out there.  Further, there is a chat filter built into the game that can be disabled if the player so chooses.  This person purposely had to leave my friend unignored, and disable the chat filter manually in order to see these "offensive words".

My question to the community is this:

Do you believe that this is acceptable behavior?  Should GMs be reduced to policing little middle-school scuffles where someone is actually offended by the F word?  And finally, where does the EULA Monkey stand in this?

This is 2007.  We have chat filters, we have ignore.  Grow up and realize that words are just words.  If you start an argument, expect a response.  If you start an argument with the sole intention of staying within guidelines and provoking the other party into an impulsive response, you are garbage.

If you are the EULA Monkey.  You are garbage.

My opinion of course.



Unicorns_Pwn writes:

Personally, I don't see this type of behavior that often. Definitely not enough to try and make a derogatory term for such a player.


What term do you have for a player who can't handle the least bit of criticism, regardless of its merit, to resort to cursing another player? Your friend has just as much power to ignore as well.


The only garbage I see in your story is your friend, and you for defending their actions. Grow up.



Wed Dec 05 2007 8:04PM Report
GeckoBlade writes:

Ah yes. People like that annoy pretty much every person who's ever had a run-in with them. Your best bet would be to ignore them. That means completely tune them out, even if they decide to pop into a private conversation. Just tell whoever you're talking to that you want to switch your discussion/argument over to PMs. There's nothing worse than a nosy braggart with too much faith in the rules. The ruin the feeling of any town they pop up in. Call me twisted, but unfriendly conflict between players makes the game world seem more alive.

As for your friend, the cursing was unnecessary. If you're going to argue with these people, you'd better keep it intellectual.

Wed Dec 05 2007 9:32PM Report
soulwynd writes:

Be a man. It's fucking bitch, hiding a few letters wont make it less obvious.

But any internet monkey should know freedom of speech doesn't exist in private online places, and since every online place is private (as in it belongs to someone, if you didn't get it) you either shut up, ignore, or tempt it like I do. You should just be aware that if there are rules against cursing, you might get caught.

Thu Dec 06 2007 8:01AM Report
streea writes:

Honestly, people like that should be banned. But the monkey didn't swear... your friend did. It didn't matter that the monkey taunted him... your friend threw the first stone. And while it's not "fair," all your friend had to do was ignore the person, or maybe try and taunt the monkey into swearing so they could be reported.

If your friend can't come up with a better response to "you're a thief" then to cuss the guy out, then hopefully your friend will use the week ban to spend some quality time with his/her dictionary and learn a few new words to use instead whenever they're dealing with a monkey.

Thu Dec 06 2007 2:40PM Report
Strayfe writes:

What I didn't really point out in that article, is that this went on for a good 15 minutes or so before my friend finally lost his temper.  My whole point is: if you're going to start shit, you shouldn't be able to run and hide behind GMs.

Thu Dec 06 2007 4:38PM Report writes:
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