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Gaming To Hell In A Handbasket

The trials, tribulations and musings of an MMO veteran trying to find the next holy grail.

Author: Strayfe

Hi, I'm Playing Vindictus!

Posted by Strayfe Saturday September 18 2010 at 9:04PM
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Hi, I'm Playing Vindictus.

Download game, install game, wait.  Patch game.  Patch complete.

Start game.  Game crash.  Adjust useless graphics setting.  Start game.  Game crash.

Post on official forums.  Get laughed at.  Post on unofficial forums.  Get fix.  Start game.  Look, a prologue.

Watch prologue.  Continue watching prologue.  CONTINUE WATCHING PROLOGUE.  Prologue makes no sense.  Looks decent though.

Combat tutorial.  Press S, press S, press S, press S, press S, press S, press S.  Things die.  Looks decent.  Press W, pick up mob.  Press D, slam mob.  Silly grin.

FIVE ROOMS LATER

Combat tutorial still going.  Tieve more interesting than game.  Oh look, a boss.  It's big.  Press S, press S, press S, press S, press S, press S, press S, press S, press S, press S, press S, press S, press S.

It's dead.

More prologue.  Prologue over.

Disconnected from server.  Blink blink blink.  Swear.  Rage.

Reconnect.  Prologue starts.  Skip prologue.  Disconnected from server.  Blink blink blink.  Swear.  Rage.

Reconnect.  Prologue starts.  Skip prologue.  Character creation.  Toggle toggle toggle.  Most options missing.  Random graphical lag.  Why is this happening?  New graphics card.  Sound lag too.  Stupid Nexon.  Toggle toggle toggle.

Done!

Play game?

Disconnected from server.  Blink blink blink.  Not amused.  F bombs.  Swear.  Rage.

Reconnect.  East server down.  Funny.  Not really.  Check forums.  Many complaints.  East server down.  Ho hum.

Connect to West server.  Prologue starts... again.  Grit teeth.  Skip prologue.  Character creation.  Toggle toggle toggle.  Forgot what I made.  Too many options.  Just kidding.

Done!

Play game?

Disconnected from server.  SCREAM.  KICK PUPPY.  WAKE NEIGHBORS.

Reconnect.  Prologue starts... AGAIN.  Clench fists.  Skip prologue.  Character creation.  Toggle toggle toggle.  Close eyes.  Flip coin.  Pray to various Gods.

Play game?

Success!  I'm in!

Cut scene, cut scene, cut scene.  Blank stare.  Move around.  Explore town.  Too many people.  Lots of complaining.  Get quest.  Look for "boat".  Find boat.  Woohoo, time to play!

Dungeon start.  Press S, press S, press S, press S, press S, press W, press D, press S, press S, press S... ... ... press S ... .. ... press W ... ... ... press D ... ... ... press S.  Don't I have any skills?  No.  Press S ... ... ... press W ... ... ... press D ... ... ...

TEN MINUTES LATER

Press S ... press W ... ... ... press D.  Jolt self awake.  Oh a boss.  Press S, press S, press S ...

FIVE MINUTES LATER

Press S ... press W ... ... ... press D.  Oh a new button.  Press A.  Press S, press S, press S.  Boss dead.  That was dull.  Looks good though.  Nothing happens.

Wait.  Wait.  Wait.

Nothing happens.  Lag?

Wait.  Blank stare.  Lag?

Wait.  Wait.  Wait.  Annoyed face.  Twiddle thumbs.  Finally, a results screen.

Dungeon finished.  Hallelujah!!!!!!

Back in town.  Turn in quest.  Another cut scene.  ANOTHER cut scene.  Dialogue.  Cut scene, cut scene.  Dialogue.  Bland, uninteresting, uninspired talking heads.  Dialogue.   Cut scene.  Got a quest.

Go back into the same dungeon.  Sigh.

Go to docks.  Disconnected from server.

Jesus christ.  Jesus christ.  Why?  Really?  How?  Stupid Nexon.

Reconnect.  West server down.  Pause.  Picked wrong server?

Reconnect.  West server down.  Blink blink blink.

Connect to East server.  Server down.  Deep sigh.

Close game. 

Start > Control Panel > Programs and Features > Vindictus > Uninstall

 

Hi, I'm Not Playing Vindictus