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The Fat, Happy Dwarf

The Fat, Happy Dwarf is a Lord of the Rings Online (LOTRO) blog. More humor than substance with the occasional gem of wisdom.

Author: SteelDeth

A Good Night in Bree

Posted by SteelDeth Thursday September 20 2007 at 12:46PM
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So, last night I found myself logging on to meet a real-world friend of mine (funny how we have to differentiate that now). We usually try to meet from time to time to get some quests done and just have some light fun. However, we soon found ourselves in Bree looking for a fellowship for the “Story of Ancient Evil” run through the Great Barrows. For those of you who know, and for those that don’t, the Great Barrow is this little gem of toughness in an area of relative ease. In other words, you can run around the barrow solo for hours with little difficulty. Step foot inside, however, and giant spiders proceed to tear you an anatomically superior rectum.
So we knew we’d need help. Well, it didn’t take long to find 2 great people, Sera (whose game name is far to long for me to remember, pronounce, or type) and Halithir (you know who you are), who joined up. So, between the four of us, we had 1 Hunter, 1 Loremaster, 1 Minstrel and 1 Guardian. Not bad. We then got a fifth, Bonhom, another Loremaster, I believe. We decided to give it a go.
Not good.
A bloody battle with some retarded Wight Callers….wait “callers”? Undead, zombie types, who, typically, have had what remains of their brain ooze out of their nasal passage several decades earlier are calling each other? But honestly, what fun would it be if they just stood there and drooled on you? Unless it is special zombie-acid-drool, probably not much. So, we decided on getting another member. Enter: Betsy, another Loremaster. Amazing how 1 more member can have such a powerful impact. Granted this member came with a bear. Mmmm….bears……
Well, good thing Sera started to remember where to go because the Great Barrow is a maze. To date, I’ve never met anyone who says “Oh, golly, but I do love a crazy twisting maze filled with giant spiders, wight bowlords, and swarms of annoying, persistent and ridiculous flesh eating worms!” If you meet one….punch them in the head for me.
Well, we got through just fine. Managed to get the 2 quest items we needed and then mapped out. Only problem: My home was mapped to The Foresaken Inn. So, I take my fat, happy dwarf and trod on over to the stable and rent me a horse. For those of you who haven’t seen it…a dwarf on a horse is quite amusing. They hunch over like they’re riding some kind of medieval crotch-rocket. Well, I’m sure to a dwarf, this is about as much speed as they can handle.
After a nice jaunt back to Bree, we progressed the quest along until we were ready for “Evil’s Final Chapter”, which, when you think about it, is a total lie on the part of Turbine. I mean, c’mon! Evil’s final chapter takes place in a hole outside of Bree? How anti-climactic. However, we lost some members, Gonzorond, our Minstrel left. That hurts. Then Bonhom had to go. We did, however, pick up Llaw. Another Loremaster with a really awesome cape. So that gives us.1 Guardian, 1 Hunter and 3 Loremasters? Wow…that’s a lot of bears. Well, Betsy, in a move of total party loyalty, logged off her LM and logged in with her fancy-pants looking Hobbit Minstrel. He…she…(?) was quite the dandy.
So we quick tripped back to the Great Barrow. Yes, that’s right, this will be the third time we’ve entered this instance in one night. I’d like to know who, over at Tubine, when they were brainstorming the quests, said “Hey, I know, lets make them go through this ridiculous cave three times in a row for 1 quest sequence! They’ll love that!” Again, if you meet them…punch him in the head. Well, this time, we had to take a path no one had been on before, so that was new…so was the end boss. 14,000+ hitpoints? Are you insane? Well, good for us being stuck down there for most of time has made him a lonely, bitter wight. And, apparently, a raging ladies-man. He proceeded to chase Sera, our female Hunter in circles around the party. Literally. It was all I could do to keep up, what with my short, stubby dwarf legs! We’re sprinters, people! 
We prevailed. And the party remained intact. We didn’t loose anyone in that last fight. Sera’s apparent wight-appealing femininity helped win the day. That’s not a phrase you get to type very often.
All in all, when I logged off for the night, I had completed 3 quests completely, snagged some great loot and got three-forths of the way to the next level. A very good night in Bree.
Great Group
Good Loot
Great Instance (Great Barrow…pun intended)
Again, Great Group

Riding that unfortunate horse back to Bree. Scale leggings chafe something fierce!