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Paragus Rants

Rants, reviews, and interviews from an MMO veteran and guild leader.

Author: Paragus1

Rant: Codemasters

Posted by Paragus1 Tuesday February 12 2008 at 1:47PM
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Rant: Codemasters

For the first time in writing this blog, I am going to dedicate an entire entry to a single company.   Every now and then as a gamer, you cross paths with a company that is pure ass.   This one is for all the members of the MMORPG.com community who have been burned by this giant asshole of company who can only seem to produce hot steaming shit. 

 

RF Online

Once upon a time, I had quit World of Warcraft and was scouring around looking for something interesting to play.  I stumble across RF Online, which at the time was about to be released.   So I do what any good gamer would do, and I wander over to their website.   OK, let's try to find out about the game.....lets check classes.   Sorry, this information isn't available at this time.  Are you kidding me?    This game is on the verge of release and you can't even tell me any of the fundamental aspects of your game?   WTF do you have a website for if it contains nothing but a bullshit video in the corner showing a movie clip from the game of a scenario that will never happen.

Like most who quit WoW, I was desperate, and the lure of a non-fantasy MMO with a focus on PvP seemed like it might be worth the gamble.  Upon logging into the game I seem to notice something wrong with the text box.  Suddenly I realize that this game is lacking something vital that even the most rudimentary word processing programs have.... WORD WRAP!  How the hell did someone at Codemasters know that this game didn't have word wrap, and give it the stamp of approval to ship?!  How long could it possibly take to code that?!  It doesn't get much better from there folks, this game actually expects you to stay logged in while being AFK when your done for the day in order to make money.  What a piping hot steaming pile of shit.  This game is now free to play, but honestly unless you like masterbating with a cheese grater, I'd stay away from this.

 

Archlord

You would think their second attempt in the MMO genre would be a chance to really try to make a better impression, but alas, this game is epic amounts of fail sprinkled on top of turd.  So the theme about this game is your supposed to be able to become Archlord, and that there can only be one.   It sounds good in theory so you buy the game.  Then you realize that there is one minor thing missing from the game....the ability for anyone to become the Archlord!  Sweet!   That's like buying Auto Assault and not finding any cars in the game, buying World of Warcraft and not finding any war, or Star Wars without the Jedi.   WTF is the point?!  The website was a 100% exact copy and paste from the RF online website, complete with links missing critical information, and a bullshit movie in the corner.

 

Here's a shocker, this game went free to play as well!  No shit?  Really?   It only took them 6 months or so to finally put the Archlord feature into the game.   So in their divine wisdom they realize they need to find a way to get people to actually want to play this game AND want to be the Archlord.   I know, its a tough sell, its like trying to convince someone to get prostate cancer so they can get a colonoscopy.   So they decide the have a contest.  The first guy to become the Archlord wins a free suit of real life armor.   Some soul, far braver then most of us, actually plays this game, and gets his guild to help him achieve the unthinkable.   He becomes the Archlord, which I guess is a lot like being the plant manager at a sewage treatment plant.  It's been months and this poor guy has yet to receive his reward.   All he has received is a bunch of double speak and bullshit about the logistics of getting the armor to him.

Finally most recently, Codemasters suddenly bans thousands of accounts.  In an address to its loyal players, they have released this bulletin:

-------------------

Dear players,

As part of our on-going work to stamp out fake accounts, fraudsters, gold farmers and other unwanted cheaters, we have, over the last few days banned several thousand accounts.

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The result has led to the ban of many accounts of loyal customers as seen by the complete chaos on their own forums:

 

Is this how you reward the few loyal people that are willing to brave the unethical business practices and incomplete games?

I hope those of you have you have been burned by Codemaster will find some comfort in this post.  Hopefully by spreading the word, we can start to hold scumbag companies like this accountable and steer far away from their products.   If you have yet to purchase a game associated with Codemasters, I hope you will take this post to heart from one avid gamer to another, and stay away.   Between releasing incomplete games, unethical business practices, false promises, doublespeak, and a complete lack of respect for the brave who play their garbage, don't give these guys a dollar of your money.   Quite frankly, they haven't earned it, and chances are whatever game they stamp their logo on will be free to play.  I guess it goes to show you that the only thing that can come from an ass is shit.

 

Paragus

Co-Leader of Inquisition

www.inqguild.com