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How to look cool and get the chicks while playing MMO's

Rants, wild speculation, unfounded theories and general poor quality humor.

Author: MacScarfe

Can i be unfair please?

Posted by MacScarfe Saturday October 13 2007 at 5:21AM
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I see a lot of calls to make games fairer, balanced and casual gamer friendly on these and many other forums and i firmly believe this approach to gaming is ruining mmo's and rp in general.

So in tradional reverse order let me start with

Casual gamer friendly.

If i was going to make and run an mmo i would make it casual gamer friendly, for one reason and one reason alone (and it's also the best reason in all honesty) ... money. Why limit your game to die hard fans when you can maximise profits by casual gamer inclusivness!!! (TM).

I don't make mmo's (yet) and i don't run an mmo (still time on this one also) and i want my game to be unremittingly complex, time consuming and unplayable unless you suffer from an mmo related Obsesive Compulsive Disorder. I turn my mmo on in the morning when i wake up and i turn it off again when i go to sleep. Okay i might not be infront of the screen 100% of the time and i may at some point actually run out of cash and have to get a job .. again ... but until then i game a good 12-15 hours a day. I want a game that fullfill's my need of a virtual life and the fact that people are trying to destroy that type of game is so

UNFAIR (note this is said with irony)


Oh balance i hate thee so. Now i'm not talking about fixing, i'm not talking about alterations to make something work as intended, i'm not even talking about that balance in everything is actually bad.

What i am ranting about is when people call for balance when what they really really want is to be less sucky. Sorry, i know that last statement will have gotten some peoples backs up, but the cold harsh light of reality states one thing and one thing clearly ..... some of us are good at some things and others are not. Please deal with you ineffectualness by NOT limiting my effectiveness. To call for that will only casue me to foam at the mouth, say rude words and generally behave like a 13 year old ganker with uber weapon of noob slaying.

You can't balance everything and something are actually designed to be unbalanced .... yes you heard it here first, some things are supposed to be unbalanced.

Now how to explain this to you, ah i have it .... those non online games you have, the one you havn't played in awhile. If you can remember that far back you might be able to remeber that it has difficulty levels, something along the lines of say easy, medium and hard.

Yes, yes i know you like playing on easy cause it's the most balanced, but i like to play it on hard, and sometimes i'll play on medium and i have even been know to enjoy easy as well.

Some classes, some area's, some games, some monsters are inentionally set on the hard setting. Just because you can't play them well (or in some cases at all even ) it dosn't mean they need to be balanced! Leave it alone, some aspects of games are supposed to be challeneging and if your not up for the challenege then ... soz. I know i know it's all quite


Fair play

Lord oh lord please let there be an especially deep and nasty part of hell reserved for those of us who believe everything should be fair. This is of course my number one pet hate in the whole universe (at least right this second).

Fairness is such a stupid concept in games, really it is, honestly it really really is. Now i'm not saying that in the real world, where that shiny yellow orb exisits, you know beyond the keyboard, that fairness is a bad thing, it isn't and i'm all for it there ... just not here, well not in the games i wanna play.

What does fairness accutally mean helious? Well actually fairness means bland, anadine and generally as interesting as toilet paper.

Now whoa there boy your playing an non-PvP game cause you can't stand being ganked by 13 yr old gankers with 2handed swords of old people slaying. Yes i do see that there may be a little conflict of interest here, however this is a rant and a rant isn't a place for reasonablness.

Fairness? Everyone has a level playing field, everyone has an equal chance to achieve anything, the ulitmate sandbox experience, and also the clarion call for the virtual utopian society! (TM)

You know what i want to say when someone complains that x, y and z can do a, b and c but m, n and o can't do a, b and c (wow loads of letters dude!) TOUGH, deal with it, don't like it go find another game to play and stop trying to force our game to become some ideal utopian 'isn't everything nice, pleaseant and shiny' world.

You know there are times in my life when looking at kittens dosn't make me go awww!, they make me think of microwaves and washing machines and generally nasty things. Sorry for being a human being and not some well adjusted conformist robot.

I want my game to be unfair, i have come here to this virtual other world partly to get away from the real world and all it's rules, regulations and plesantries (as well as getting way from it's lawlessness, lack of control and general nastiness btw). Now all in all my life isn't that bad, so the overwhelming need for me to run away to a nice place isn't there. I actually want to vacation in the slightly unpleseant side of life and i want to do it in such a manner that doing so neither a) causes reprocussions in the real world and b) if i don't like it i can exercise my right to withdraw electricity form the computer.

Please please please don't be fair, it's destorying MY world and that is so