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The Gaming Gospel

I write about everything that goes with MMORPGs

Author: Limitations

It's A Rough Road [P8]

Posted by Limitations Thursday May 14 2015 at 2:39AM
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This is actually going to be a more personal blog, and how gaming has really impacted my life. Even though that’s really silly to say. I’m going to start with a story that will end up going to what my main point is. I’ve been writing for a long time now, and I really wanted to talk about how I go into the whole “hardcore” gaming scene. I’ve touched on this probably in the past, but I really can’t remember how in detail I went, so I thought with this being the 8th part of this series, I could tell you a little story, and some more background information!

The woman I thought I was going to marry suddenly broke up with me, blocking me essentially every way she could in her life. I haven’t spoken to her since that day, which has been years, but this situation really broke the mold for me, that entered me into all of this. She was my escape from all my depression, she was my escape from almost everything you know? I needed to find a replacement, a holder for that, until I got something more permanent. I was really into CS:S at the time, and just played some Gungame, and some other mods.

I really got into a mod called Jailbreak, and I was on a specific server almost all day. My job back then was only weekends, so basically I played this every day all day. I was captured by this, and made so many friends who I still talk to on a daily basis and game with. Some of my best friends are people I haven’t met, and I hope I will meet one day! I found that fix I needed, but then you know things changed, and I sort of just got over the whole jailbreak mod, and needed something else.

I got into console games, bought an XboX 360, and jammed basically to Black Ops, and Gears of War 3. What happened with Jailbreak, literally happened to Gears of War 3! I was on it constantly, I was watching YouTube videos, streams on how to get better. I was determined to be so good at this game. I left the game with a 3:1 W/L Ratio, and a 2.5 K:D Ratio. I was showing off my skills to my IRL buddies, clutching 1v5 victories, doing some sick moves and loving every minute of it. I was impressing people online, had a lot of friends on there as well, but then the XboX one came out, and along with the PS4, and I didn’t have the money to upgrade, so I just sat back and watched my friends with the next-gen consoles have at it.

That brought in basically what is the present: PC Gaming. As I am now, I was addicted to MMOs. Of course, I dabbled in World of Warcraft before all of this happened, so it wasn’t a new scene for me, but it felt like it after the whole console thing. (I want to make it clear, that I was still playing some PC games, while this whole “Console Era” happened.) My parents were kind enough to buy me a new gaming PC, and I just went off with games like League of Legends, Dota 2, and some MMOs! That pretty much leads into present day. I began writing about all my adventures, and I think I have a few followers that read every post, or I would hope I have some. I’ve been doing this thing for a long while now, you know?

As with everything, it matures and you grow fond over it, but you just want to expand on everything. Gaming became that fix I needed, that hole that was once there has now been filled and it was a great feeling. I grew more and more fond playing video games reviewing them, talking about them, and it became a great source of freedom. It was mine, this is mine. It’s become ours now. It’s not just my blog, it’s the reader’s blog. I listen to people, and review the games that you all want to see. It’s no longer some sheltered thing, where I name my blogs off song names. I’ve become a better reviewer, I don’t think I am as boring as I once was. It’s all sort of just melded together perfectly. There are a lot of things that I have gone over that need to be fixed, and improved upon but I am getting there.

With all of this, you’d think I would see a bright future ahead of me right? I don’t see colors in the world… I see the world in black and white. As much as I wish to see colors in the world, I am stuck on two colors, and that’s all I see. I see hope, and I see failure. I think you can all guess what I see more of. I want to see a brighter future, I don’t want to see judging eyes everywhere, ready to pounce at all my failures. I want to see me stream more, I want to see me ramp up my writing to 2-3 posts a week, but, I can’t see it. I see the failure before the hope/dreams.

I have hopes that one day I will actually work as a writer for MMORPG.com or various other sites, getting paid to do what I love. I would love to see one of my posts hit 2,000 views… It’s just not so simple for me. I’m a 24 year old dude, who loves to write about games, but sees doom and gloom before hopes and dreams.  I keep going though, I keep writing, and I’m still getting used to streaming, but there really isn’t a rainbow at the end. It’s just more of the same. I said I had hopes, and I want to continue to have them. I just wish I could do more.

I am saddened by the fact that I can’t do more. I’m sort of just stuck here writing about games that I play. I love doing that, but I just want to do more. I don’t know if it’s reaching a bigger audience, wanting more viewers or what, I just want, and have the need for more. I want to break barriers, and I’m trying that out with streaming. I’m only streaming Destiny right now, which is what I wanted to do in the first place, but ultimately that’s a start to hopefully something bigger and better, you know? We start with Destiny and move our way up! I think that’s a good way to start, you know?

I’m curious on where this all will take me next. Will I revisit old games? Will I broaden my horizons with Alpha games, like I did with Pathfinder, which wasn’t much of a success. Although other games may be, I’m not ruling anything out. I know I told myself I wouldn’t do Alpha access games, but there really isn’t anything left. I know that sounds unusual of me to say, but it’s true. There are games that I want to give a try, but haven’t. One of them is probably EvE online. I hear mix things about it, that you need to have a specific taste to enjoy it, there are lots of spreadsheets, and politics. The politics part I heard about sounded amazing to me.

Games like FFXIV, SWTOR, GW2, WS, and other “Themepark” MMOs aren’t just doing for me anymore. I need something new, something fresh. If you have read this far, would you like to see an Alpha game be reviewed, or maybe EvE? If so, please tell me your thoughts about the games you’d like to see, or have any perspective on Eve Online. That would be awesome of you to tell me. That’s all for this one. See you all in the next post!

If you liked this post, and like to discuss it please leave a comment below, or tweet me @SirIsaacJewton Cheers! Also, for those are interested in the stream for Destiny. It is Twitch.tv/IsaacJewton Cheers!