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Drak's Soapbox

An old time gamer who started playing MMORPGs with the Ultima Online beta test and has had a love/hate relationship with them ever since.

Author: Drakon911

Who decided that we needed to be able to jump?

Posted by Drakon911 Tuesday February 5 2008 at 6:03PM
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Who decided that being able to jump was a necessity in multiplayer games? If you're reading this and you were the one,  please punch yourself in the eye for me. Everyone else can continue reading.

If you haven't realized it yet, I hate jumping. I can't think of a single positive thing that comes out of having the ability to make your character jump in an online game, not counting being able to avoid flaming lava. Do us a favor and put a bridge over it for Pete's sake! If you don't PvP or play First Person Shooters onlilne, then you truly haven't experienced the full irritating potential of something that at first glance may seem harmless. So let me enlighten you.

Minor annoyance: Some little kid in town that wants to jump non-stop while he spams emotes and sends you a tell begging for money: "can i hav sum gold plz?????????"

Medium level annoyance: Grouping with a rogue (no idea why but it seems the majority of annoying jumpers I've come across in WoW were rogues) who thinks that jumping will somehow magically make him harder for the mob to hit, or perhaps they believe that their backstabs do more damage when they are done without their feet on the ground. I don't know what is going through their little pointy heads. I do know that it irritates me so they should stop.

Major level annoyance: PvPing in WoW is already a big enough pain without some ...*cough* enemy ... bouncing around like a flea on a hot griddle. How's that for a mental picture?  I used flea because I give them about as much credit for brains as I do the tiny biting creature and they are just as annoying. The Black Plague that killed millions of people was spread by fleas on rats. I bet those people that got bitten and caught it were a bit annoyed. I can't imagine living to the ripe old age of 27 in the middle of the Dark Ages only to get bitten by a flea, that had recently been feasting on rat blood no less, catching a good heavy dose of the plague, dying and then ending up in a pile of similar equally dead and bloated people only to get feasted on by the same rat that had started spreading the crap in the first place. Ooops, sorry. My train of thought got derailed.

Ultra major level annoyance: Playing a FPS online and some little ass is showing off his twitch skills by jumping non-stop and racking up a ton of kills while his teammates are getting slaughtered. All the while he's using his third hand to type taunts and talk smack. I've never personally seen it, but I've heard that those guys can do all that because they are mutated and have three hands. I can't imagine it'd be possible for a normal human to accomplish such a feat. Getting a kill is a kick, as anyone that playsd such games can tell you, but when you finally manage to surprise one of those little three handed bastards while he's using two of his hands to drink a gallon of Red Bull and you put an <insert weapon of choice here> up to his melon and pull the trigger, man, now that's a thrill that almost makes it all worthwhile. At least until you realize that the joy is fleeting and the little monster is now fixated on you and spends the rest of the game camping the spawn points waiting for you to pop up.

Being able to climb over an obstacle is important in some games but I do think that there are a whole lot less annoyance inducing ways than jumping. Some games have absolutely NO reason to have jumping in them but it's in there anyway. So please stop the madness before we all end up like those poor souls in the Dark Ages. If that's not enough reason to stop jumping and/or stop putting jumping in games that don't need it, well, your heart is so hard that my asking nicely to stop isn't going to work either.

I'll leave you with this final thought:  Jumping is for Donkey Kong. If you're not being faced with endless rolling barrels don't do it.

[EDIT: I guess I should have put in a disclaimer stating that the post was meant as humor. I was in no way implying that I wished anyone who chose to use jumping as their action of choice any ill will or hoped that they were bitten by fleas, caught the Black Plague or were nibbled on by rats. Judging by some of  the  responses in comments you'd think that I'd wished that fate on them or someone they loved. It's meant as humor. If you don't like it or find it funny, don't be offended by it. I'm not really annoyed that some people treat my game of choice as a multiplayer version of Frogger. I find humor in their actions and decided to post about it in my typical dry, sarcastic, rambling way.]

Kyleran writes:

Whatever, I like jumping.  Next you'll want to take circle-strafing out of fps games because it makes players too hard to hit.


Tue Feb 05 2008 6:08PM Report
LØST writes:

lol ya lets get rid of jumping and make gaming less interactive. whats wrong couldn't bunny hop in 1.6 sry but thats what makes games interactive.

Tue Feb 05 2008 6:15PM Report
rikilii writes:

I agree.  jumping is stupid, or at least the kind of jumping you see in most games today. 

How is it "immersive" for people to be able to bunny hop constantly?  Can anyone do this for real?  Not.

Tue Feb 05 2008 6:20PM Report
Drakon911 writes:

I prefer to use tactics and teamwork  not cheap arcade game moves.

*rolls a barrel at Kyleran*

Tue Feb 05 2008 6:21PM Report
Soriin writes:

Yeah...none of those sounded like horribly bad things.  The only thing I got out of that was you get annoyed very easily and aren't very good at fps games...

Tue Feb 05 2008 6:22PM Report
Vindicoth writes:

Yeah, who thought jumping would be a good idea in a fight? As a matter of fact, lets take out moving too, and weapons, how about we just type out intellectual conversations and whoever wins those gets the loot?

If you think jumping is a stupid idea then I don't know what to say to you. I've never been annoyed by any of those things you listed. Probably because I don't let stupid little trivial things bother me. Jumping adds immersion, no I'm not saying jumping around and bouncing all over the place is immersive, but I absolutely HATE MMO's where I can't jump. I'm not one to jump around or do any of those things either but I do occassionally  jump and I feel it's a necessary mechanic in order for me to play an online game.

Example of good use of jumping is the logs in AB in World of Warcraft. You can jump across these logs that are floating in the water and get across faster than you could swimming,  also if you're good you won't be dismounted.

Maybe I'm just old school and like platform games, that required a lot of jumping. I feel if you got rid of jumping you would be taking a step back in gaming.

Tue Feb 05 2008 6:24PM Report
Vindicoth writes:

Oh, and I'm not one of those twitchy kids that play FPS, after playing FPS's since Doom and I'm now 21, you get good at aiming, predicting, etc. Plus it pays off that I played the craziest twitchest game out there Quake & Unreal Tournament. I am ALWAYS on the top of the scoreboards, generally if I'm not on top I'm having a bad day ;).

Anyone wanna play TF2? :P

Tue Feb 05 2008 6:27PM Report
Forcan writes:

To have the jump function in MMO, it really depends on the type of game though.

When there are MMORPGs that are designed in a way where you can't constantly jumping, and that it takes energy to jump is more realistic and interactive than say press [space bar] to jump whenever.

Does the ability to jump make or break a game?  I doubt it, but it is a function that could be work into the whole idea of combat (PvE or PvP), without being what people are used to by playing games such as CounterStrike.

Tue Feb 05 2008 7:03PM Report
Shadin writes:

I don't know why it bothers you... though that part with rogues bouncing is so very true... I'm a UD rogue in wow... and I jump alot in general (though not so much in battles) and I have absolutly No Idea why in honesty.... :/ regardless - I'm quite addicted to it. Sue me.

Tue Feb 05 2008 7:09PM Report
Sys7em writes:

Do yourself a favor and punch yourself in the face for still playing WoW. Jumping is the only entertaining thing left in that game. Every mmorpg that I have played that doesn't allow jumping is complete crap.

Tue Feb 05 2008 7:29PM Report
Drakon911 writes:

I'm going to send a copy of these comments to SOE, Blizzard and EA. There's an answer to all their games problems here. They need to just add more arcade game-like tests of skill and sit back while the money comes rolling in. Obviously the "we love to jump and if you don't you're a noob" crowd has gathered and is burning an effigy of me right now.

Tue Feb 05 2008 7:42PM Report
redcap036 writes:

I'm sorry you feel this way darkon911, to help I’ve made a list games you might like to try, since they don't have jumping in them;

msm messenger & outlook express, solitaire, space invaders, etc..

I was going to add chess & checkers , but then i realized that checkers had jumping in it and took it off the list for you, but I'm sure you will be very happy in the first two suggestions.

{Obviously the "we love to jump and if you don't you're a noob" crowd has gathered and is burning an effigy of me right now.}


No we are not, we’re just passing by on our way to the shop to buy the new and latest MMORPG based on that new movie,” Jumpers” you were just on the way.


Tue Feb 05 2008 8:29PM Report
redcap036 writes:

(sorry from above),

No we are not, we’re just passing by on our way to the shop to buy the new and latest MMORPG based on that new movie,” Jumpers” you were just on the way.

Tue Feb 05 2008 8:33PM Report
KrAzYBLADE writes:

all i have to say is .......LOL!!!!

Tue Feb 05 2008 8:43PM Report
garbonzo writes:

Really funny read lol.  *hops away*

Tue Feb 05 2008 9:33PM Report
Mequellios writes:

In an MMO I'm creating there will be jumping, but it won't be the rediculous bunny-hopping jump you see in most MMOs. Obviously regualr humans couldn't jump like that non-stop (characters in my game are regular humans).

I think most MMOs should follow my example. Bunny jumping is annoying and takes the feel out of a game.

Tue Feb 05 2008 11:50PM Report
Shadowdawnz writes:

Hehe, I like your humor. But I agree with you in some ways. But Jumping is fun.

Wed Feb 06 2008 12:12AM Report
Ekibiogami writes:

Jumping Should stay in in most MMO's Just PLZ start giveing me the Option to turn it off..... Like the OP Im Really Tired of jumping 15 year olds. that said a good Hop everynow and then can be good for the Soul. I just dont wana see others do it.

Wed Feb 06 2008 1:07AM Report writes:
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