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MMO's & The Modern Man (err...Woman)

An honest, irreverant look at various MMO's from a typical player's point of view. OK, maybe not a typical player. Maybe a hardcore emo PVE but PVP lovin' chataholic with alt tendencies. What's that? A new beta!? BRB...

Author: Oridi

When To /Drop or The Top 5 Group Members You'd Rather Not Run With...

Posted by Oridi Monday November 16 2009 at 11:02AM
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You know you think of it.  Just hitting /leave or /drop mid run after an hour and a half of trying to get past the first boss - hey let's be honest - the first room of an instance.  What were you thinking joining this group?  If you're anything like me it's cause you  A. wanted to do a particular instance and a pick up group was all you could get (fear the dreaded PUG!)  B. saw their repeated spam on the global chat for your class and after an hour you caved and joined up or  C. had someone on your friends list do a "pretty please - it'll just take 20 minutes" flyby through your chat window.

Regardless of how you got here, you're stuck and it's time to consider your next move.  Do you stay in the clearly flailing group?  Or do you bail and suffer the indignation (usually vented on the public channels) your fleeing will cause.  Like most gaming experiences, the choice is yours alone to make, however here are a few of the more classic groupbusters for your review.  If you see any of these in your group you might want to err on the side of /leave if only for the sake of your repair bill.

The Micromanaging Stealth Leader:  This is the person that stays mute when the "hey does anyone want to lead that might know this instance better than me" comment is made at the start of the run.  They remain silent until the first mobs get pulled and then start with the comments about how it might be better to stun the left guy and pull the right guy instead of vice versa.  Of course they mention this AFTER the fight starts, and so everyone muddles through and then verifies after the fight that yes, it might have been better to do it differently.  Next group of mobs, pull order is changed, and the Stealth Leader is then heard muttering about how the caster class is not really traited correctly for this particular instance and that the healer is wasting power topping off the tank.  The group leader graciously offers leadership to the MSL and is refused with the reason that they're just not able to lead cause they have issues with authority.  By the time the third gang of mobs is engaged the leader has no credibility, the MSL is nattering nonstop about everything from the gear choices of the tank to the clearly inferior quality of the potions the ranged class is using, and the rest of the group is cringing in a corner wondering how they could have sucked so much for so long and still managed to breath ingame.

The Dog Ate My Homework Dude:  This guy is also known as the "Do you happen to have" guy.  He'll come on a raid and have no mic or even headphones.  He won't have the quests, his gear will be incomplete or missing entirely and he'll be completely potion/food free.  Most of his conversation will start with "Hey, do you happen to have..." and end with "better gear I could snag off ya/some gold I could get/the quests for in here to share/some food?  Midway through the run he'll start talking about his awsome computer specs and draw any techno in the group into a massive and insanely ironic  discussion of sound cards.  If you don't catch the constant doyahappentohave comments you'll be able to identify him easily anyway.  He'll be the one two corridors over from the group blithely clicking on the pretty shiny sparkly stuff he found that happens to complete a quest that he said he did not have.  About an hour after the run dissolves, you'll get a tell from him asking if he can join your guild.

The Fragile Flower:  The fragile flower is completely squshycore.  No matter how good her gear or how great her traits, she's nervous.  Fragile flowers don't play tanks.  They play ranged classes and healers and occasionally a caster and if for some reason a mob gets on them they scream to high heaven, "Get it off! Get it off me! It burnnnnnnnssssss!"   Your fragile flower will need to rest often to make sure that her health and power are topped up completely and will constantly QQ about aggro control.  These lil doves of the gaming world are also known for two other things ingame - the most drama both in guild and general chat as well as the most misstells spilled out into public.  My favorite was the time in SWG when the medic misstelled  "but I love your imp armor.. it makes you look like a big delicious marshmallow" to the group tank.  We all called him Mr. Staypuff for months.

The Leeroy:  Yes, they exist.  They're almost always tanks.  If they do have a clue about crowd control or thoughtfull pulling they don't care.   For them, it's all about the next mob and the next kill and if there are a few wipes now and again so be it.  Aion is becoming legendary for this since there's a direct relation between time taken to pull mobs and how effective the tank is.   This is probably the most unfun type of group nyerk to deal with, mainly because it's usually a series of deaths for the group until someone grabs the tank and crazy glues their feet to the floor.  Fortunately a visit to the Leeroy video usually at least loosens things up enough so that you can tease the tank mercilessly every time they Leeroy it.

The Blast From The Past:  This is another insidious group dissolver - also known as the Historian.  They'll agree with everything the group leader says at least at first.  At some point, you'll notice they're doing something completely different than the plan.  A slight inquiry will reveal that they've done the run a gazillion times and always did it a different way than this current group.  They won't want to teach you their way.  They won't want to do it the current leaders way.  They don't want to lead.  It's an ethical imperative that they don't follow.  The rest of the group is left to run around frantically working around the Historian trying to figure out what their strategy is in time to get through the next challenge in the instance.  "He's heading to the left tunnel!  He must be taking out the 3rd boss first! Follow him! Tank, grab aggro on those mobs... no wait! He's stealthing by them!  Caster, toss protection on him! NO NO Don't!  He's attacking them from behind! HEALS! HEALS!"

As you're reading this, a few other group types might come to mind.  The Power Leveler that doesn't even know their skills ("so.. like.. what does this green swirly button thingy do again?"), the AFK'er ("hang on - I have to let out the dog/make a phone call/take care of a customer/eat my hotpocket...")  or even the Promoter ("Hey... anyone want to join my guild/meet every week and do this/sponsor my contest/vote for my game site/give feedback on my facebook page...?).  Regardless of what the group make up is, there's only one thing for certain.  If you have a great leader, a solid tank, and one other sane group member, consider staying in the group.  Even if you don't finish the instance you'll have some GREAT stories to laugh about with your friends.