Five Marketing Campaigns You'll Never See
MMORPG.com contributor Sanya Weathers takes over the top five list this week with a satirical look at MMO marketing departments as she counts down five marketing campaigns that players will never see.
Editorial By Sanya Weathers on May 12, 2009
In today's Top Five, I thought it would be amusing to imagine an alternate universe. Five alternate universes, to be exact. In each one of these unexplored loops of time and space, a marketing team has thought up a campaign to advertise a new MMO - and given you, the reader, a look into their reasoning behind the campaign. Sadly, an intrepid team of Vulcan, humans, women, and other aliens have destroyed the wormholes that would have allowed these alternate universes to interact with our own. In other words, these cannot be taken literally, no matter how much we might want to take them literally.
Five awesome systems, not thirty hacked together chunks of derivative mediocrity!
We decided that since we didn't have thirty million dollars or a publisher with a "when it's done" mentality, we would be better off choosing five systems we could execute with originality and style. Those five systems - and only those five - are listed on the back of the game's box. There's no mention of the features we hope to patch in if enough of you buy the freaking thing. In our pre-launch interviews, no one has talked about the features we partially built, but ended up cutting during the prioritization meeting three months before gold master. Finally, all five systems work together and make perfect sense for our story and gameplay.
This product contains no features added solely because someone in our department thought they "sounded sexy."
We were invited to the production team's weekly meetings, because we're really not the enemy, here. We need to know what's being produced in order to sell it properly. Also, we're the ones who did the market research to identify the kind of player who would most enjoy this game, so we have a lot to contribute to the process. Our business is about making things accessible, so the executive producer valued our insight and suggestions.
At the same time, the executive producer's balls are located in his pants, not in the marketing team's mouth, so whenever we said something like "You know, the kids sure do love Feature X from Game Z," he would smile and say firmly, "It works very well in Game Z, but our game isn't designed to work well with that feature." And that was the end of the subject. So, you can rest assured that if it's in the game, it's because experienced designers thought it added value and fun to the game.
So good we didn't need tits in our ads - but we have them anyway!
This game is super fun, and it tested well in multiple demographics. It will sell like hotcakes as soon as word of mouth begins to spread. Word of mouth has already begun to spread, thanks to the beta testers, the community people, and the grassroots marketing campaign. We didn't need to think about the box art at all, because we didn't need to fool some slack jawed adolescent basement dweller into throwing down fifty bucks so we could earn out our box projections. The Collector's Edition is super classy, and we're very proud of it. But we could do anything we wanted to do with the standard packaging, because it was a no lose situation for us. And we really like boobies.
We decided to shoot for derivative mediocrity, and you're going to lap it up.
We kludged together features from WOW, EQ2, EVE, LOTRO, DAOC, POTBS, AC, DOMO, SWG, and we're sending in ninja spies to get features from SWTOR. And rather than waste everyone's time with coy allusions and copied interfaces and broad winks, we figured we'd just say up front where we got our ideas. Frankly, the way you people gobble down regurgitated slop, this approach will probably goose the sales. No, we won't break sales records, and we won't beat out anyone with genuine innovation and clean execution, but frankly, being the number three game in the market will make our publisher rich enough to buy an island. Reaching this island is done via galley ship, and the oarsmen are all the people who tried to innovate and failed. We will be allowed to visit this island as part of the bonus plan. So screw it.
Bug tested, load tested, balanced, and fun to play!
The studio hired a technical lead who clamped down on everyone to ensure that our underlying code was stable, clean, and done in the same style. Maverick geniuses are all well and good, but if their work can't mesh with everyone else's, the consequences to our customers are too painful.
We ramped up our beta process until we had a simultaneous population on one server that exceeded the population cap, and we let it run that way for several weeks.
And instead of hiring some b-school dropout for six figures plus bonus scale to join our team (the largest team at the studio), we suggested the studio head take that one guy's annual salary and put it towards four QA people and an experienced beta test manager. Then the studio head empowered that team to be part of the polish phase, as opposed to treating the lead as though he were available for everyone to climb aboard while shouting "Boy, you got a purty mouth!"
But above all, the game is fun. It's been fun since the earliest builds, and the whole team worked hard to make sure none of the added layers of complexity obscured the fun. We think it's worth your money, and we're not just trying to sell you something.
uh.......ok
This article comes across as being written by someone who is bitter and spiteful. Is it really necessary to use the term "tits" in an article that represents your site mmorpg.com?
Yeesh. You can do better than this.
I do like boobies....i'll give you that
Actually, in this article, the author uses the term "tits" in a satirical way, highlighting the often immature attitudes toward breasts that are taken in video games.
While a funny article, it is also very sad.
It is sad because it is true.
The article is... very awkward. While it's obvious that Sanya is trying for satire, the different "points" don't really flow together. At one point, it's making fun of the fact that gamers think that all companies care about are T&A, and yet the last point makes fun of... a company not hiring an expensive executive and instead hiring four competent programmers? Huh?
I probably should have read this part first:
"MMORPG.com contributor Sanya Weathers takes over the top five list this week with a satirical look at MMO marketing departments as she counts down five marketing campaigns that players will never see."
I applaud this thread.
Instead of sounding like satire it sounded more like a person who really didn't understand what it takes to make an MMO and what it takes to make a profit on an MMO. I dunno it just wasn't very good. The best part was her profile said she was 11 years old (which I'm guessing is not true) but she's talking about balls in mouthes, awkward.
Ok so when does this get released.Sounds like a hell of a game,made by people who just want to make a game.
Yes I know this is a satirical look.
But come on isnt this what everyone wants.......but will never get....
great article funny as tits ,keep up the good work
Humor, sadly, is not like stepping on a land mine.
Who dosn't?
Satire is a tricky thing. It just doesn't work in this case. I didn't find any part of the article satirical or funny.
/shrug
Back to work.
PS. If you have to tell us it's "satire"...then it isn't. Just sayin'. ;)
Who dosn't?
Just because you didn't find it funny doesn't mean that it's not satirical. You just didn't get it, which is fine.
The real problem with satire is that it resonates differently for different people. I showed a draft of this to three people - one chuckled, one wiped tears of laughter from his eyes, and the third went "Uh, weak."
That's pretty good for someone with my sense of humor. Usually, most people think my humor is weak.
I tend to think that if you gotta tell people it's a joke, it loses 30% of the funny - the intro was written after the fact at editorial insistence. See the whip marks? They burn.
If it's any comfort, as a marketing person, I thought it was a hoot. Except for the various coercive sex references which I just found a little squicky, but hey, stand up is usually crude these days.
Shava
I endorse this message.
I thought it was really funny!
The article does point out a serious and often occurring flaw in todays industries in that companies tend to go over tghe top in order to get their player base for their game. AoC went for a hardcore mature look, but the game lacked a fun factor. DAoC went for a fun PvP type atmosphere, but never went further with the idea and that stagnated the population. EQ was innovative and after doing everything, you were left with nothing. EQ2 gave more of the same. SWG did it right, then went ahead and gave the something for everybody a flip which became everything for somebody and thus didn't work out.
The point is, that these companies, all MMOs whether free or not all grasp a niche audience with some sort of marketing scheme, from hardcore to casual, ninja looters to Bind on Pickup, nudity to anime. Every one of these games has made mistakes because a dev thought it was a good idea at the time. The problem with all of these companies comes down to one common problem. Ego.
After all, what MMO game has ever taken back a gamebreaking patch or expansion and stated that they admit the idea really didn't work, so we'll undo the changes. Fact is, not one game dev will ever admit to failure. After all of this Sanya does point out that while devs and designers have many flaws due to inflated egos, they are still human and subject to the same peer pressures and politics of life in general as everyone else.
All the MMOs are fun to someone, always somebody will welcome the newest push for a new pizazz be it nudity, dungeon, expansion or whatever. And with those choice, always will there be someone who thinks otherwise.
I do not often comment with stuff like "this stinks" and "this really sucks" beucase I know I probly couldn't do much better but I have to say this is probly the most boring and stupid article I have ever read in the gaming world.
noob
Pretty bad when the editor has to continually defend "satire".
This was not satire, it was a nice attempt, but not "satire"..... I "got it"... but then again I have actually worked for multiple development studios with released games...
It just sounded like someone who hasn't the slight idea of how a business is ran in the real world.
LOL, the posts here have actually made the article even more amusing. /score
So... where's this island and how do I get to it? (do I need to provide my own oarsmen?)
I see this thread has the usual assortment of nay sayers who nay say just to nay say in every thread they can find.
I liked your article, Sanya. And feel it's high time someone pointed out all the game developing flaws that are turning off so many of us long time experienced players. You did it with satire making it fun to read.
I don't return to any thread I've posted in, so don't bother to flame me, nay sayers.
I endorse this message.
Who is that anyway?
I endorse this message.
your posting is a bit confusing
what I look for in a game is organic immersion
need for food and drink and different types of clothing, and localized resources that will promote trade, not a nationalized resource and auction house.
I want to feel as though i steped into an (idealized) alternate reality if theres water there should be boats
there should be winter and real rainstorms, the occasional plague or pestilance to deal with
there should be player kingdoms
players should start out like pesants or urchant kids they should hear stories about those that came before them
there should a be real attempt to flesh out class types rogues should have stuff to steal, people to spy on even be beat up and thrown into jail.
wizards should have basic practicle magics that they expand on and build up like a small "match" spell can give light and set something afire
as for priest types they should definatly have a faction to be part of an order with life long quests for their given church such as converts or tighs or sacrafices
druid types should be much more in tune with nature and that means comunicating with animals maby as info providers or quest givers
I tend to believe in a skill base system so a mage can learn to pick pockets if he wants to but it costs him more that it would a rogue and means he can learn less in his own class at a given level
I also prefer a default + bonus mentality that is a warmonger wants to head off to adventure all he needs to do is purchass some jerkey and water which will omit any food or water penalties, but others can aquire or make more complicated and diverse meals and gain some extra benefit. same for gardening someone can throw down some seed and water and in a few days get a default yeald, where a farmer that works and tends the fields gets a larger yeald.
I also prefer content that suprises players doesnt make them feel like a rat in the same old maze I have yet to fight statues that come alive in a temple I have never bashed my way through a door or wall in a believeable way, and 99.9% of the dungeons are basicly brute force there are no allounances for climbing walls or bribery or baiting let alone from puzzles.
Actually, in this article, the author uses the term "tits" in a satirical way, highlighting the often immature attitudes toward breasts that are taken in video games.
tits and vicious injuries wouldnt be that big of deal if they were wernt thought of as news worthy and just part of the background! in AOC they were a novelty for about 5 minutes (maby 10) but that wasnt enough to save a crappy rehash of a game.
Who is that anyway?
Her name is Alizee. She is a french singer. www.youtube.com/watch
For the most part (with the exception of the derivative mediocrity point) the article sounds like the development process of Guild Wars. Throw in the derivative mediocrity, and now we're talking about GW2.
Good article, Sanya; I thought it really higlights the major problems with MMO development.
I particularly liked this heading.
"This product contains no features added solely because someone in our department thought they "sounded sexy."
I can well imagine a conversation going something like this.
Marketing Cheerleader: Lord of the Rings Online is very popular, we need hobbits in this game to be popular also.
Dev: Our MMO is a spaceship simulation similar to EVE on....
Marketing Cheerleader: Eve on what?! Two things we need to stay away from is religion and politics, so put those Hobbits in like a good dev.
Game releases as a spaceship MMO with a "Hobbit" class frigate.
Game closes after a long legal battle with the Tolkien estate for using the copyrighted term Hobbit.
Actually, it's 35%.
Marketing can so F *** up a game. I know its not cost effective but anyone that makes copy for a game should play that poison so they know what the heck they are writing about.
Good read Sanya.
What games?
Good piece, especially the "we decided to shoot for derivative mediocrity, and you're going to lap it up" section.
Who is that anyway?
She is the girl the female Night Elf /dance is modeled after in WoW.
Eh, the article was too scattered and erratic without having any of the blunt comedy that it usuall brings. I get it that she's trying to do stuff that harkens back to the Tweety days but eh. Trying to split the difference just sorta makes the whole thing fall flat.
Who is that anyway?
Her name is Alizee. She is a french singer. www.youtube.com/watch
She looks like she's 15. {mod edit}
Excellent article. Just goes to show, you can cover something in crap. And it can still be good.
Actually, in this article, the author uses the term "tits" in a satirical way, highlighting the often immature attitudes toward breasts that are taken in video games.
I think that "boobies" is a much better word then "breasts" which is much more in line with mans tribute to the female form.
Anyways, good writing, Tanya.
Great article.
I'm reading all your blogs and articles here on MMORPG.COM and I must say - it was much needed. About time someone has brought us the real thing, not PR talk and "dreamy immages". That's also sure reason why many people here complain that something in this article hurt their feelings or just isn't "right". MMO players tend to delude themselves, they don't even need any help - they're wasting huge amounts of time in some case, so they need to think "idealistic" about something in their games. Just to feel better. Of course, they complain, they rant too - but in the core they're very often delusioned as well, just don't know about it.
I find this article very accurate. My favorite game is Dungeons & Dragons Online (look at my signature), and while I stll think it's the best MMO RPG out there and has the best, more honest team than from any other game I've played - I know they're guilty of those sins you mentioned too.
Just look at new page of D&D Online:
www.ddo.com
forums.ddo.com
Isn't that what you Sanya wrote about? ; )
I think that Turbine's DDO team is 100% true example of all you have written on mmorpg.com to date. The good things, the bad thing, the PR / reality etc. But still I think they're doing all you wrote the best in this industry - especially "uniquness" and "orignal features". Yes, just try this game Sanya and see it yourself, I bet you'd be surprised.
Of course they also failed to include enough polish at the start, so DDO after premiere got pretty deserted - and since that time it climbs higher and higher. Quality over quantity, while frustrating for veteran players, is a good policy - and it shows now.
About 2 months ago Fernando Paiz, a new chief of DDO team, said that DDO will have an aggresive marketing push in 2009 to grow the game. Not long after, new, highly polished and modern site came - with Boobies, of course!
Ok, I don't see anything bad here - DDO needs more and more players, because this game should be a major player in my opinion. But this article here showed me that this is pretty cheap, works well and... distracts very well. As Module 9 and some "Super Secret" for which we wait about 9 months wihout any knowledge what it is still aren't there, they throw us such things to borrow our time.
Of course, it's now pretty clear that Turbine can't tell us about this "SS" and release Module 9 just because something "higher" (law? licence problem?) doesn't allow them - so I really don't envy their situation, especially Community team which takes all the fire. But they do what they can - small tidbits of info, competitions (motivational posters?? forums.ddo.com/showthread.php), etc. I think this is exactly the job you're writing about Sanya, so I'd recommed you checking out DDO (D&D Online). I think it's pretty great example of all you reveal to us, players - the good, the bad, the awesome and the ugly.
I'll continue to read your articles as theire so interesting that I check for some new article almost each day. This "behind the scenes" look at MMO development is probably a precedence on the whole Internet - and there's also Jesse who writes similar thing. Great job people and MMORPG.COM for all this, this is needed - MMO players need to wake up from their dreams and start to think more constructively. I'm totally bored with all this ranting based on nothing else but "made up facts and false assumptions" which players all over the world take as reality. MMO players - you need some (rude?) awakening!
Come back to reality, people! It's still the same world you see throgh the window!
If the 5th one ever happens to come to pass, that studio needs to hire me.
You want people clamped down on, I'm your man. =)
@Sallas89: Your IQ must be this high to post here.
Spoken like a true marketing drone. Let's see the points the article touched:
1. Planned, not hacked together
2. No feature creep
3. Tits
4. Following the crowd
5. Actual QA
Ignoring 3 (everyone loves tits), what issues do you have with the other points? 4 may be questionable, granted, but 1, 2, and 5 sound like pretty good business practice to me. News flash to you morons in marketing, product doesn't magically work perfectly at version one point oh. There's a reason so many failed games companies (and non-games companies too, for that matter) have histories littered with kludged development processes, throwing in features and options in at the last minute, and not beta testing / running through QA. It shows.
I guess it's hard to grasp what quality control involves if you're just one of the peons down in PR who spend their lives busy putting out spin.
So, am I the only person on this forum who doesn't work in the video game industry? Because so many people posts with things like; "I've been in the industry for a while", or, "I've been in video games since EQ 1.0" Why are there so many pissing contests online, anyway?
On three occasions in the last year and a half, the EQ2 team has rolled back one or more planned features of a Game Update after experiences on the Test/Q&A server proved that the idea didn't work so well in execution. The most recent was GU 51 in it's original form. Big changes were made to how fighters handled aggro through taunts and DPS. The changes didn't quite work out, so the team rolled them back and went back to the drawing board.
It's the lack of quality in the industry.. A lot of money being pissed away on complete poorly made titles, the bummer being that thepublishers of this "CRAP" are making a profit while completely pissing off the end user, who is on his last straw and pretty much boycotting the industry and gone forum flamer.
Kinda like this post.. I mean, I enjoyed the humor attempt and aspect of making complete fun of the industry and their horrible marketing strategies.. but the post itself seems to be written by someone with no English skills.. and quite frankly no much industry knowledge...
Ironic