For days I simply ran missions, mined and went about my daily business, In my mind I was hoping to happen upon a kindly Obi-Wan type that would take me under his wing as I helped him fend off Pirates- no such event occurred, instead I lead an increasingly isolated life, it was as if the universe was invited to a party and I was merely hunched in the garden trying to catch a glimpse through the windows. Every piece of EVE Online text I read online lead me to depressing lows as the antics of a number of players were described with joyous glee, I wanted to be a part of this. In the end I snapped, I lowered my standards and I reached out for help in the rookie channel.
What followed was what I can only describe as an orgy of invitation, no sooner had my “I’m looking for a corp” hit the dull grey backdrop of the channel, I had received countless private chat invites. I felt like the belle of the ball, an attractive young noble lady picking between exotic suitors; would it be ElectroGuyy the handsome looking Amarr? Or maybe Motoppe the war torn Gallente? I was flattered to receive such attention. I made my choice and after a duel of flirtatious “What is it that you’re looking for in a corp?” questions, I was in.
The initial joy of finding a corporation, which I could call my own, quickly subsided into a feeling of under whelming boredom. Aside from a few feeble greetings, the chat tab ebbed slowly into eerie silence and for a couple of days I went back to my lonely life of isolation. I had heard of epic conflicts and of exciting adventures with fellow travelers, why was this not the case for me? I was at the end of my tether until finally a voice broke out into the emptiness “Who wants to run some missions?” This was my time.
What followed was a series of events that ultimately I cannot explain nor account for. A couple of us comrades met at a space station about five or so jumps away and set about our missions. While it was exciting to be a part of this adventurous group I couldn’t help but feel I was letting my grasp on the game go, someone else was simply guiding me and I had handed over control. After being told a destination and to follow, we set about finding our encounter and thus violence and conflict. This was something I had ultimately wished for but I heading into it clueless, I didn’t understand what was happening, I was feeling my newbie badge glinting once more.
After reaching our encounter a battle of epic proportions commenced, the great spacecrafts of my fellows loomed large and heavy, all enemy combatants were destroyed by waves of laser fire while I merely flew about the theatre of war like some sort of milksop or snickering nit, every so often I would unleash my firepower and quickly cower behind the strength of my comrade. I felt weak, confused and in a daze. This went on for an hour. We would reach an encounter, destroy everything (I say we, my involvement amounted to morale support and the odd, "Whoops!") and move to the next destination. Sure, it was exciting and a spectacle to behold, but I felt a little worthless; I didn’t need to be there, I was like a hitchhiker brought along on a dangerous adventure.
After some time my corporation adventure wound down and my fellows and I decided to part ways. I flew back to my home station feeling confused and laden with doubt. I didn’t know what exactly had just happened, why I was involved or why I was so weak. It was enjoyable, but I felt like a child guided along without paying much attention. Corporation living was surely fun and exciting, but I needed to be eased into the experience, I needed to dip my metaphorical toe into the water. The silence of this particular corporation was eerie, and I needed a crew more understanding of my uneducated ways. I decided to leave in search of new pasture, this was surely the way I wanted to head, but I needed a group more equipped to handle my needs. I had a lot of things to learn it seems. Join me again next week as I continue…