Originally posted by Corehaven

Drama typically comes from getting too personal.  Familiarity breeds contempt.  Ive found generally the more comfortable a person gets with another person, or a group, the more drama is likely to unfold. 

 

When Joe tells me, " Hey lets go kill some orcs! " we go and have fun.  When Joe gets comfortable enough to start telling me about his horrible in laws, and how his kid is failing in school, it goes too far.   Most people are simply looking for someone to be comfortable enough with to just unload on. 

 

They dont really want your advice.  They just want you to nod your head and accept everything they say.  This is why I try with all my might, in life and in games, to maintain a certain degree of familiarity.  Too little and you may as well not know the person.  Too much and you find yourself in the middle of their argument with their wife. 

 

OP, this is where you went wrong.  You fostered this familiarity.  You listened and participated.  So not only was this woman bringing her real life into the game to some degree, but you were participating as well and fostering it.  You got too familiar with this woman. 

 

Choose your friends and those close to you very very carefully.  The more close people you have, the more drama you'll end up having in your own life.  And this even includes your online buddies. 

I'd have to agree with you. There was a time where I did know things here and there and I did fostered familiarity in this situation. Her and her husband did intreact with me in game as we played together. This is actually something I learned back then when it comes down to it. I never play favertism, but I'll listen and nod. Sometimes just them knowing that you would listen and not say nothing is enough familiarity. Even if it isn't for you, it is for them. See sometimes this is fine for me as I can deal with it, but I didn't think people would pin this into the game as in playstyle/gear/attributes/etc. She actually compared her life and the game. Where as she couldn't get what she want in life, but possibly could in this game. That actually blown my mind.

So I start to find a lot of people have this mentality.

Originally posted by jvxmtg

Originally posted by Rikimaru_X

I responded sort of like this, "I understand, but if that's the case you are playing the wrong game. In order to get what you want in life and in this game, you have to work. Grinding is no different then hustling. I don’t see why you can’t just do the hard work to achieve what you want? We are all doing it and not looking for handouts from anybody…"

I believe this is where you over-stepped. One fact that you over looked is that, MMO is a game. To tell someone to "work hard" in a game is a stupid move. So what if she brings her drama into the game, you don't have to be the fuel to the fire. This kind of response is what breaks many good guild, because there will be someone else who heard would simply do not agree with you and will leave without saying their reason for leaving.

 

Sometimes you just need to be polite and say, "...what ever you decide to do, I'll respect it. If you want to leave the guild, I can simply respect that. But if you need someone to help you out or form a party with, you know where we are and we're still happy to help."

 

But instead, you judge her with your words just to prove that you are right. If you know you are right, you don't have to prove it, since there's only something to lose and nothing to gain.

 

Keep that in mind.

Well I can't fully disclose the whole conversation, what caused it, etc. I just wanted to give you an example of the facts. During our conversation I respected her honesty, her confronting me and what she decided to do. One thing in mmos I find is that people don't want to burn bridges with the truth. They usually want to find an excuse. She has responded pretty negatively to many things she quite often took advatage of. It's a really deep situation that I had to handle. When I confronted her to show her that I was right was the sole fact of seeing what her plans would be for the future of the game. She knew she had an option coming back but decided to block me instead. Her husband spoke to me to tell me that something been wrong with her in RL.

I know where your coming from jvx and being that this happend over a year ago I get to learn diffrent approcahes on how to deal with most things. A lot of this was mostly between me and her. Her leaving didn't ruin anything but gave another class the posiiting to be the rising star. I did learn one thing you said back then though, that there isn't nothing to lose and nothing to gain from stating the fact.

Originally posted by Illius

Originally posted by Rikimaru_X

Originally posted by Ekibiogami

Id say Salie, In 5-10 years you can just claim its a Dragon head if you want.

I actually found this pretty funny.

Damn... Lurk much there Riki?

You know me man. I always ghost to play. I got to be summoned. Nice to see you till around.

Originally posted by Boardwalker

As a fellow Aion player (great game, btw), and a player/fan of other MMOs, I've seen a lot of what you describe as well. I'm someone who doesn't bring real life issues into a game, especially MMOs.  I play the game because, well, it's a game, and nothing to do with real life. That's the point, right? So I have a hard time understanding people who feel the need to inject drama and their own RL issues into their play. Seems to me that when you do that, the game becomes less of a game and more of a chore. But, as you showed in your example, it happens, and is happening more and more.

 

Perhaps in the age of Facebook and other social media, where people live more of their "real life" online, this is a natural phenoma that will continue to grow.

I agree with you. I think it's the social media age. I think it's starting to become a trend.

Originally posted by jinxxed0

Yeah. I have a theory about that. Most people that are online all the time have certain "problems" or issues. The people who you'd likely look at and say "that person that have any form of people issues" are likely to be the kind of person that has no interest in the virtual world beyond playing a game or two at a friend's house.

I guess its just a part of being online. I'm sure if we had the amount of RL interactions as online ones, and we all wore masks, it'd be the same. People aren't afraid of being A-holes and being 100% honest online, but they are in RL.

Yeah the theroy I can agree with in a way. It seems the more time they put in it that they may have certain "problems" or issues. Now that isn't always true, because I have met people who are pretty chilled and entertaining who do play all the time. It really depends.

Originally posted by nblitz
"When I confronted her about that, I was blocked. This is ok, because in the end, she knows I was right." How can I put this nicely? I believe you shouldn't have contacted her when her plans to leave you guys and go with the other legion backfired. Kicking a woman while she's down...sigh.

No, she contacted me about the plan to leave and everything. As I said, she was real honest, but being blind at the same time. See me, I treat everybody the same. It dosen't matter what your sex is, but I try to help people realise that this isn't a single player game. You can't put in cheat codes to get what you want and you can't expect people to help you when your nothing but that bottom chick/guy. I didn't kick her down about it at all really. I'm sure she felt like an a** because of what happend, but we were friends and she was so overly jelious of our sucess and her failure it led her to block me.

Originally posted by Toferio

There are same people playing MMOs which you meet IRL. I don't see why many except different behavior, considering that MMOs are often the closest you can come to RL (economy, politics, etc). If people are whiners irl, they will be so ingame as well. If they are social and polite IRL, they will often be so ingame as well.

I don't expect diffrent. I could say the economy was a big hit in the MMO world as I've talked to many people about jobs, many jobs lost, politics, etc. But see what I'm talking about is most whine about the game, but it stems from something that happend RL. It's not beacause of the game though.

Originally posted by laserit

You should get out more often...

There's plenty to go around ;)

LOL, I go out more than you think. My profession is nightlife. :P

Originally posted by gordiflu

People are people, both in rl and vl. I am myself when playing and when not, with all the good and bad stuff. What's so surprising about it? I ve met people in games that have ended up beeing my rl friends, and we still see each other often although we no longer play the same game. I ve met people in real life I would play no game at all with. Both in games and in rl you have nice people, a**holes, smart ones, dumb ones, lazy ones, hardworking ones, etc etc.

My gaming time is part of my real life, the same way my working time is, my "playing-with-my-rock-band" is or my "gonna-visit-mom-cos-I-havent-seen-her-for-too-long-now" is. If you start playing with me regularly for a decent while, you will get to know the good and the bad stuff about me, and this stuff will be equally good or bad in my personal rl. You could get to know that stuff about me while sharing some beers or while sharing some dungeon runs.

Me and you share the same things in common. People and real life and the game have their problems. I just sometimes don't understand why people in the game bring their real problem into it. I can see it more reasonable in maybe a shooter, fighter, or beat-em-up, where you can satisfy that. I love gaming and I'm more of the console type and we all know how online gaming can go when it comes to console gaming. In a community like an MMO, it's just strange to me why people brew their RL problems or try to solve the RL ones in here.

I've been though many situations and I know it's pretty normal as RL, but behind keboards it makes people more easier to vent attacking others. It's not the same as meeting that negetive person in RL.

Originally posted by Ekibiogami

Id say Salie, In 5-10 years you can just claim its a Dragon head if you want.

I actually found this pretty funny.

Somebody asked me this question yesterday. Does it have to be one thing?

I personally couldn't tell you...well I could.

Originally posted by ScrimMaltese

http://tosh.comedycentral.com/blog/2011/03/11/songwriting-isnt-for-everyone/

This won the thread.

Originally posted by Dekron

Originally posted by Rikimaru_X

Sorry the site gave your hopes up for change.  Maybe around 2012 you will see somethin.

Lurk much?

That's all I do now. I just spy.

It's like that still? I come back after a long journy to see if things are the way it used to be....about....maybe over 6 years ago or so. That's possibly not happening. I just read the first few pages of topics. They are missing something. Off-Topic is not what it used to be. I might chill around and see whats up this time though.

Sorry the site gave your hopes up for change.  Maybe around 2012 you will see somethin.

Alright so I just read this and I'm thinking to myself. If the girl don't trust you, the relationship isn't going to work out. If my girl knew I wanted to chill with another girl and it was nothing, I would be sure to let her meet the chick. Then again if I'm in a relationship I sure wouldn't go chillin with another girl anyway.  Your relationship is now over because a girl wanted to go shopping with you. Not sure where the next step would lead, but you got to fix situations like that.

It's common sence your girl will be mad if your hanging out with another girl. I'm sure you would be the same way if she was with another guy...and trust me if I was that guy and your girl is fine, I mean I set boundries, but she gonna be wanting pretty riki. :P

I was wondering, because I sure don't think I missed a damn thing. This place is missing a ninja. Really though, what did I miss?

Well the "beat" always depends on who and what your listening to. Like I have did my rap with a local life band. Well in order to do something you can't do it takes practice. Like me I can actually play a guitar. So your telling me that you can rap and play hip hop devil? Like me, I can rap, but I can't freestyle. I can only do 7 bars before choking on what to think about next. I think it is talent. Now, with boybands it highly varies. A lot of them are not great at all. I can only think of one that actually escaped the groups to have talent. Such as Justin Timberlake or maybe Pleasure P (but I like Pretty Ricky (hell I am Pretty Riki).

It's just a debatable comment. I didn't like boybands because yeah as that video said. Simple dances, looks and the target of love with young girls. LOL It works though. It's so sad but it works.

But there is talent in POP, Hip-Hop, & Rap....

Originally posted by Sawtooth

Hey guys. I haven't posted here in forever, but I'm lurking around again.

 

And hey Riki! How's your sister doing? :)

Don't worry about my sister son.

I drove a club owner's Lam down here and I mean I got an erection. Great car. Problem is that it attracted a lot of hoochies (it was looks > car so you really get to understand why guys get nice cars). I'm also helping my boy put lambo doors on his Mustang and on his side of the phone he was at the bar. Ladies was already asking him questions.

Originally posted by Sawtooth

The story is inaccurate. There were actually 5 attackers; two of them were riddled with throwing stars and katana slices. But, they'll never find the bodies...

STOP SNITCHIN!