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4 posts found
Dana

MMORPG.COM Staff

Joined: 1/07/04
Posts: 2352

 
2/12/06 4:48:48 PM#1

We continue the weekly saga from Jon Wood with Chapter One of Neverdie. This builds on last week's Prologue. Neverdie is an original piece of fantasy fiction that will appear here every Sunday.

Rowan Tallfelter shifted restlessly in the uncomfortable chair that had been given to her by her teacher. At the moment, she cursed the man for his lessons. There were plenty of chairs that would have been far more comfortable in the great tower, and many rooms more lavish to say the absolute least. Her mentor, however, had said, "Concentration will wane in the lap of luxury, while it shall thrive in destitution." The Green Mage always said things like that. Overly convoluted, cliché and unfortunately, usually right. The young elven woman cursed him for his wisdom and his hat. She hated that floppy green hat. She sighed.

To read the rest of chapter one, click here.

Lvcifer

Novice Member

Joined: 8/19/05
Posts: 117

2/13/06 3:10:33 PM#2

wow! a great story!
looking forward for the second chapter.
hopefully Rowan will find her brother and we will found out who is the third mystrious Szark's companion..

gj Jon Wood!!

MyBrute = addicting mini online game!

Solanar

Novice Member

Joined: 12/15/05
Posts: 178

2/13/06 6:51:50 PM#3

great story, and i dont care if its unoriginal, still seems great. ::::28::

besides reading this > hw::::07::

gl with it, im still lookin forward to 2nd chapter tho ::::02::


¤played: Nearly everything.
¤waiting: *Darkfall*, Hero''s Journey

PlanetNiles

Novice Member

Joined: 12/30/03
Posts: 101

2/15/06 7:30:35 AM#4


Originally posted by Solanar
great story, and i dont care if its unoriginal, still seems great. ::::28::

besides reading this > hw::::07::

gl with it, im still lookin forward to 2nd chapter tho ::::02::


Unoriginal, badly written, dull, boring and... no I can't say that. I stopped reading halfway down the first page and, had I paid to read it, I'd be demanding a refund.

It reads like an unpolished first draft. Were I a publisher I'd ask Jon Wood to take it away and rewrite it until it gleams. The problem with episodic writing is that, unlike a novel where you only have to polish the first few chapters, each episode has to have a novel like structure within itself; you have to draw your readers into your story at the start of each episode instead of just at the first few chapters of a novel.

I suggest that Jon Wood writes smaller episodes and spends more time editing, he can only improve. Writing an episode a week means that he's probably pushing himself too hard. When Steven King wrote The Green Mile he gave himself a month for each episode and was an episode ahead before each was published. Were I trying this I'd limit myself to a couple of thousand words per chapter, at most, and spend much of the week editing.

Good luck Mr Wood.

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
-- The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost