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News & Features Discussion  » [Column] Guild Wars 2: 'LOL'

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39 posts found

Associate Editor - News Manager

Joined: 6/28/10
Posts: 13286

OP  3/16/13 7:43:22 PM#1

While Guild Wars 2 has a desperate 'save the world' plot line, there are also plenty of laugh out loud moments in the game. In our latest GW2 column, we take a look at the LOLs. Read on and then add your LOLs to the comments.

While Guild Wars 2 has some really epic moments, it’s also got a lot of humor and silly fun tucked away for players to find.  One of my favorite moments while playing Guild Wars 2 happens in the land of Ascalon.  A Charr can be found near his awesome and must peculiar invention.  This farmer created a catapult, but not just any catapult. This thing fires cows!  By helping to deliver a fresh herd of ammo, players can watch in amazement as cows are fired out at great distances.  Players can even take bets as to how far they think a cow will fly.

Read more of David North's Guild Wars 2: 'LOL'.

No matter how hard you try, you can’t just walk away from him. You have to join in and dance!

Associate Editor:
Follow me on Twitter: @MMORPGMom


Novice Member

Joined: 7/02/06
Posts: 136

3/18/13 12:20:37 PM#2
I accidently clicked an asura child npc in Lions Arch once while jumping around. And it went -I like turtles! It was late and I was really tired, almost fell of my chair laughing.

"If I had a d*ck, I'd go get laid. But we can do that next best thing... Let's kill people."


Elite Member

Joined: 1/06/05
Posts: 17128

3/18/13 12:50:56 PM#3
I ran into a npc couple that were talking about how they loved being married. I think they were planning on going for a walk or something. After each fawned alll over the other the husband says something like "forget the walk let's go back inside". The woman then stands there for a second, gives a little jump and what seemed like a clap and ran in after him. I thought that was a nicely done bit of business.

Novice Member

Joined: 3/14/12
Posts: 14

3/18/13 12:59:45 PM#4

[SPOILER] When making a Norn, if you took the storyline where you blacked out, it turns out you and a charr stole a tank. As you try to find out where you parked it, one of the NPC's states that you were yelling "I will not be insulted by a tree! Have at you, leafy!" to which your charr partner in crime replies "I remember that! Stupid tree..."


Hard Core Member

Joined: 4/19/08
Posts: 1071

Why is it that fantasy trolls are vulnerable to fire, but internet trolls thrive on flame wars?

3/18/13 1:09:05 PM#5
From what I heard, Dinkey is the best partner you can have when you make a Charr because he is supposed to be hilarious.

Since when is Tuesday a direction?


Apprentice Member

Joined: 10/07/11
Posts: 2

3/18/13 1:53:11 PM#6

The NPC background noises in Destiny's Reach include various moaning women, which do bring the lulz at times.  Incessant moaning.

And this conversation at the Asura gate in the Grove between an Asuran Gate Engineer and his Sylvari Assistant is amusing...


Asura Gate Engineer and his Sylvari Assistant in the Grove.

Sylvari: Your golem is strange… was strange.
Asura: You drove it away, you know that!? I’ve never seen a golem run that fast.
Sylvari: I just wanted to ask it a few questions.
Asura: Yeah I know. you guys are full of them.
Sylvari: Oh, yes. What’s it like to be a golem? Does it dream? Does it have a family?
Asura: That was the last straw, you know. After that question about turtles in the desert you asked it about its mother.
Sylvari: So?
Asura: It doesn’t have a mother. It’s a golem. you crossed its circuits. I don’t know how you did it, but you weirded out MY golem.
Sylvari: So, you are the mother? Or the father?
Asura: What? Well, I… I guess I .. Oh no. you’re not getting in my head. You just stand there and help me monitor the gate.
Asura (to himself): Am I the mother? Blazing braces, this is what I get for working with the tree children.


Apprentice Member

Joined: 3/28/07
Posts: 7941

3/18/13 2:00:15 PM#7

i heard a women complaining to a soldier in destinies reach bringing the soldier in her house and not long after the back ground noise of fun begin lol so hilarious!


Novice Member

Joined: 6/27/12
Posts: 4

3/18/13 2:30:29 PM#8
i fell off the turnip cart yesterday

Apprentice Member

Joined: 5/05/07
Posts: 3

3/18/13 2:31:32 PM#9
There's a group of progeny in a building in Metrica Province having a "Your momma is so stupid" contest. It really cracked me up and captured the attitude of the Asura perfectly.

Novice Member

Joined: 1/30/07
Posts: 1813

I lose more stars than a hollywood speedball convention.

3/18/13 2:33:22 PM#10

These are the reasons I still play GW2 long after the hype has died, it's writing is just "Trollol" at times.

Sure the plot may often come acrosss as a really bad 1980's hero's journey, but the comedy is gold.

The "I like turtles" thing cracked me up too. I had just learned of that lil' meme via Tosh.0


So needless to say I still tell people (despite being a sub to now...3 games) GW2 is awesome.

astropuyo Xfire Miniprofile

Novice Member

Joined: 2/20/12
Posts: 7969

3/18/13 2:45:31 PM#11
Originally posted by arche22

[SPOILER] When making a Norn, if you took the storyline where you blacked out, it turns out you and a charr stole a tank. As you try to find out where you parked it, one of the NPC's states that you were yelling "I will not be insulted by a tree! Have at you, leafy!" to which your charr partner in crime replies "I remember that! Stupid tree..."


lol yea this is probably my favorite story segment of them all

I angered the clerk in a clothing shop today. She asked me what size I was and I said actual, because I am not to scale. I like vending machines 'cause snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at a store, oftentimes, I will drop it... so that it achieves its maximum flavor potential. --Mitch Hedberg


Novice Member

Joined: 8/02/12
Posts: 1

3/18/13 2:48:47 PM#12

Best moment summarized in one word:



Apprentice Member

Joined: 3/18/13
Posts: 1

3/18/13 2:49:50 PM#13

The Asura kids and the Yo Mama jokes are epic.  Or follow around the messenger golem for a while. Really, almost anywhere there are NPCs in Metric Province there will be hilarious Asura snark. 


In Lion's Arch there's a Norn who asks the Asura gatekeeper, if she chases wounded prey through a gate, will the gate energy cauterize the wound? The gatekeeper sputters a bit and says "My ears, what an intreguing question!" and the Norn comes back with "What do your ears have to do with it??"


There's the quaggan who is too shy to ask if you taste like a hero (?!!)


There's the drunk singing quaggan in LA


The Norn in Hoelbrak commiserating to his freind that he's challenged his wife to an axe-throwing contest, and the domestic strife sure to follow.


But my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE so far is this exchange between a couple in Ascalon Settlement:

Him: "Do you want to go for a walk? Get some fresh air?"

Her: "I think that's a marvelous idea. Have I mentioned how much I love being married?"

Him: "You sure, you've only had three days of it, you're not tired of me yet?"

Her: "I'll never tire of you. Even centaurs couldn't come between us, I'm yours forever"

Him: "Forget the walk...lets go back inside."



Novice Member

Joined: 3/05/09
Posts: 21

3/18/13 3:09:05 PM#14

Fionna Hastings in Queensdale.


She's tied into an event where you have to protect her beehives from bears.

"You bears thought you could get your paws on my honey! But I know peope, DANGEROUS people!"


She's my favorite NPC in Queensdale if not Kryta.


Novice Member

Joined: 3/04/04
Posts: 6

3/18/13 3:15:02 PM#15
LOVED the moments with the 2 Charr cubs, just fantastic. So cute!

Hard Core Member

Joined: 9/18/11
Posts: 808

3/18/13 3:23:33 PM#16
“No no no No no no No no no No no no No no no No no no we should No no no No no no we should No no no No no no we should go to the armory No no no No no no we should go to the armory No no no No no no we should go to the armory No no no No no no we should go to the armory”

"As you read these words, a release is seven days or less away or has just happened within the last seven days— those are now the only two states you’ll find the world of Tyria."...Guild Wars 2


Apprentice Member

Joined: 3/04/08
Posts: 726

3/18/13 3:25:45 PM#17
My favorite npc in the game is the Skrit. They provide some good entertainment.

Novice Member

Joined: 3/18/13
Posts: 1

3/18/13 3:34:06 PM#18
I love the Renown Heart challenge in Wayfarer Foothills where you have throw snowballs at the kids to "entertain them". Makes me laugh every time.

Defender of Worlds

Joined: 5/20/04
Posts: 2920

I actually still like MMORPGs

3/18/13 3:42:26 PM#19
It's definitely the first mmo since wow to really inject some good humor into their game. Most take themselves too seriously!

I love the golems singing "do do do do do"


Apprentice Member

Joined: 4/23/08
Posts: 826

3/18/13 5:23:21 PM#20
Originally posted by Vorch
“No no no No no no No no no No no no No no no No no no we should No no no No no no we should No no no No no no we should go to the armory No no no No no no we should go to the armory No no no No no no we should go to the armory No no no No no no we should go to the armory”

hehe, but I think thats bug :D


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