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News & Features Discussion  » Star Wars: The Old Republic: The Dorkside - An Honest Review

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102 posts found
  SBFord

Associate Editor - News Manager

Joined: 6/28/10
Posts: 12950

 
OP  2/01/12 12:17:17 PM#1

There are two things that are always sure to twitter-pate our readership: Coyote Sharptongue's pithy MMO commentary and Star Wars: The Old Republic. Today we bring you the best of both in our latest Coyote's Howling. Read on!

One of the best things about being a humorist is that I get to be completely honest. Well, that and the throng of sex starved, supermodel groupies that flock to you as soon as you're paid to tell poop jokes on the internet, but it's mostly that honesty thing.

You see, I don't have to follow the rules and guidelines that bog down the other contributors. Where they have to focus on petty things like "facts" and "research" and "professional conduct", I get to cut through all the politics and bullsh*t in order to bring you the truth.

Read more Coyote's Howling: The Dorkside - An Honest Review.

Associate Editor: MMORPG.com
Follow me on Twitter: @MMORPGMom

  SkillCosby

Spotlight Poster

Joined: 8/23/08
Posts: 694

2/02/12 7:20:17 AM#2

I can think of about 50 more weaknesses.


This read is very biased.


  niceguy3978

Hard Core Member

Joined: 6/14/06
Posts: 1977

2/02/12 7:31:00 AM#3

Good read.  I do agree with most of what you said, but I must say that yes, your Smuggler does have herpes after all of those strange one night stands.  However, the games character customization can't handle that so it auto puts on makeup to cover them up.


  Strumiker

Advanced Member

Joined: 8/03/08
Posts: 31

2/02/12 7:37:10 AM#4

Wow, he really went out on a limb to make this "honest" review... except the branch is made of cement that is four feet thick and supported by steel rope.





 

  SirGrady

Novice Member

Joined: 8/09/06
Posts: 22

2/02/12 7:45:23 AM#5

pfff


  lalartu

Hard Core Member

Joined: 2/22/05
Posts: 412

2/02/12 7:56:22 AM#6

I thought it was supposed to be funny? He promised the funnies!

my Gaming Youtube channel:

http://www.youtube.com/lalartu


I review lots of indie games and MMORPGs

  WhiteLantern

Novice Member

Joined: 1/27/10
Posts: 2778

2/02/12 7:58:55 AM#7

/Rage


 


Another paid-off, brown-nosing, boot-licking, wouldn't-know-a-good-game-if-it-hit-him-in-the-junk Themepark lover on MMORPG.com.


 


/More Rage


 


You didn't even point out the most glaring weaknesses!


 


/Blood-boiling Rage


 


I'll never read your work again!


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


In before the previous thoughts happen for realz. Maybe.


I want a mmorpg where people have gone through misery, have gone through school stuff and actually have had sex even. -sagil

  User Deleted
2/02/12 8:05:04 AM#8
So why can you say Dorkside for Darkside, but can't say Dorkfail for Darkfalll? According to the moderators you can get banned for that. I wasn't going to say anything, but I got a 48 hour ban last week for calling someone a dork....I guess that's flaming/trolling?
  lizardbones

Elite Member

Joined: 6/11/08
Posts: 10403

I've become dependent upon spell check. My apologies for stupid grammatical errors.

2/02/12 8:08:27 AM#9


Originally posted by Tenebroso
So why can you say Dorkside for Darkside, but can't say Dorkfail for Darkfalll? According to the moderators you can get banned for that. I wasn't going to say anything, but I got a 48 hour ban last week for calling someone a dork....I guess that's flaming/trolling?


You're not named Coyote.

For every large, complex problem, there is a simple, clear solution that also happens to be absolutely wrong.

  User Deleted
2/02/12 8:10:17 AM#10
Originally posted by lizardbones


Originally posted by Tenebroso
So why can you say Dorkside for Darkside, but can't say Dorkfail for Darkfalll? According to the moderators you can get banned for that. I wasn't going to say anything, but I got a 48 hour ban last week for calling someone a dork....I guess that's flaming/trolling?


You're not named Coyote.

 

I m not coyote, I am the spawn of gollums butt sex with Michael Jackson. Didnt you see my picture?
  ropenice

Apprentice Member

Joined: 10/02/04
Posts: 584

2/02/12 8:11:42 AM#11

Originally posted by precious328

I can think of about 50 more weaknesses.




This read is very biased.





 


Can you skip at least one TOR thread? Never seen such dedication.


  Dracill

Novice Member

Joined: 2/29/08
Posts: 161

2/02/12 8:16:33 AM#12
@lalartu: the fun part is going to be the comments.... as soon as the haters leave the 1.7 million means nothing topics.
  Robsolf

Advanced Member

Joined: 4/21/06
Posts: 3992

Let go of my ears, I know what I'm doing!

2/02/12 8:24:12 AM#13

Wrong!!!

Space Eye Herpes looks NOTHING like that.

On the taxi question:  On city planets, you'll notice that you CAN go anywhere right off the bat; because they ARE taxi's.  On other planets however, they are faction issued, as is evidenced by statements like:  "ground transportation is for official use only".  Ya think Balmorra, the beseigned prison planet has civilian cabs all over?

Just as silly as YOU driving your own transport, is the fact that you're apparently too important for your companion to ride along with you.  Take that, and your dismissive backhand wave when you send them off to sell stuff, there's all kinds of reason for them to kick you in the junk and break off on their own.

Lastly, amen on the Market UI...

 

  lizardbones

Elite Member

Joined: 6/11/08
Posts: 10403

I've become dependent upon spell check. My apologies for stupid grammatical errors.

2/02/12 8:27:55 AM#14


Originally posted by Tenebroso

Originally posted by lizardbones


Originally posted by Tenebroso
So why can you say Dorkside for Darkside, but can't say Dorkfail for Darkfalll? According to the moderators you can get banned for that. I wasn't going to say anything, but I got a 48 hour ban last week for calling someone a dork....I guess that's flaming/trolling?


You're not named Coyote.


 

I m not coyote, I am the spawn of gollums butt sex with Michael Jackson. Didnt you see my picture?




Try changing your picture to a hamster or something cute, then see if you can use 'Darkfail' or call someone a dork. You might even try a picture of a Coyote puppy. I don't think this will work mind you, but it might be fun to watch*.

* For me.

** edit **
Like this:


How can you not like that?

For every large, complex problem, there is a simple, clear solution that also happens to be absolutely wrong.

  lizardbones

Elite Member

Joined: 6/11/08
Posts: 10403

I've become dependent upon spell check. My apologies for stupid grammatical errors.

2/02/12 8:33:55 AM#15


Originally posted by Robsolf
Wrong!!!
Space Eye Herpes looks NOTHING like that.
On the taxi question:  On city planets, you'll notice that you CAN go anywhere right off the bat; because they ARE taxi's.  On other planets however, they are faction issued, as is evidenced by statements like:  "ground transportation is for official use only".  Ya think Balmorra, the beseigned prison planet has civilian cabs all over?
Just as silly as YOU driving your own transport, is the fact that you're apparently too important for your companion to ride along with you.  Take that, and your dismissive backhand wave when you send them off to sell stuff, there's all kinds of reason for them to kick you in the junk and break off on their own.
Lastly, amen on the Market UI...
 



Yeah, the Market UI is a pain to work with. Google has spoiled the entire world.

My one actual pet peeve is the red force fields. If a zone is for another class, let me walk in, but see generic content. If a zone is something I've completed, let me see it in the state I left it in, or even empty. It's almost worse than invisible walls and areas that kill you just for walking out too far.

For every large, complex problem, there is a simple, clear solution that also happens to be absolutely wrong.

  Robsolf

Advanced Member

Joined: 4/21/06
Posts: 3992

Let go of my ears, I know what I'm doing!

2/02/12 8:45:20 AM#16
Originally posted by lizardbones

 






Yeah, the Market UI is a pain to work with. Google has spoiled the entire world.

My one actual pet peeve is the red force fields. If a zone is for another class, let me walk in, but see generic content. If a zone is something I've completed, let me see it in the state I left it in, or even empty. It's almost worse than invisible walls and areas that kill you just for walking out too far.

 

I never really gave it much thought, but yeah, that would be nice.  Populate the areas with bonus mobs and leave it at that.  If I was new to the game, though, it would drive me nuts going into a place that looks REALLY significant, but isn't.  I remember going to underground bases in pre-nge SWG where I had no missions and feeling like... "this is it?  I'm in the middle of a Tusken Raider fortress and all there is are a bunch of tusken raiders to kill?"

  atticusbc

Novice Member

Joined: 9/22/07
Posts: 1053

I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was cool.

2/02/12 8:55:07 AM#17
Originally posted by precious328

I can think of about 50 more weaknesses.


This read is very biased.

i know right? it's almost like... an opinion.

  lizardbones

Elite Member

Joined: 6/11/08
Posts: 10403

I've become dependent upon spell check. My apologies for stupid grammatical errors.

2/02/12 8:55:42 AM#18


Originally posted by Robsolf


Originally posted by lizardbones
 









Yeah, the Market UI is a pain to work with. Google has spoiled the entire world.

My one actual pet peeve is the red force fields. If a zone is for another class, let me walk in, but see generic content. If a zone is something I've completed, let me see it in the state I left it in, or even empty. It's almost worse than invisible walls and areas that kill you just for walking out too far.

 


I never really gave it much thought, but yeah, that would be nice.  Populate the areas with bonus mobs and leave it at that.  If I was new to the game, though, it would drive me nuts going into a place that looks REALLY significant, but isn't.  I remember going to underground bases in pre-nge SWG where I had no missions and feeling like... "this is it?  I'm in the middle of a Tusken Raider fortress and all there is are a bunch of tusken raiders to kill?"



I've noticed a lot of the other stuff that people have mentioned and some stuff that a friend mentioned after playing Skyrim for a couple months, but those red force fields are the only thing I'd like them to change right now. It could just be that I don't want to see something that is saying, "This is not for you, go away!" I'm apparently just fine with green force fields that are just for me, to satisfy my, "I'm a special snowflake" portion of my monkey brain.

For every large, complex problem, there is a simple, clear solution that also happens to be absolutely wrong.

  n3v3rriv3r

Apprentice Member

Joined: 5/13/10
Posts: 323

2/02/12 9:09:36 AM#19

Haha ... hmmm... wait...ahhh... nope. The game is still not fun for me.

Btw what the heck is a honest review? Like a nonpersonal opinion?
 

  niceguy3978

Hard Core Member

Joined: 6/14/06
Posts: 1977

2/02/12 9:28:20 AM#20

Part of the problem here is that for some people on these boards if someone puts the word "honest" in their title that means they should only be critical of the game, otherwise they're not really being honest.  Honesty = saying the game isn't very good or is mediocre at best, shill = saying you like the game.


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