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Off-Topic Discussion  » Psychology: why equal women don't ask men out on dates

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  Robgmur

Novice Member

Joined: 12/12/09
Posts: 323

11/08/11 3:17:20 AM#21
Originally posted by deviliscious
Originally posted by Grahor

To deviliscious:

 

That may be your way, but it's not my way. I don't like it, I would not date a woman like you; good thing we both don't have to.

SO you think a woman should be just like a man to be equal? Why would forcing a woman to conform to what men find acceptable be in any way shape or form equality?

That is just more of " control over women" that men feel they are entitled to.

In that case, equality  would be more of a man conforming to a woman's world, rather than a woman conforming to a mans.

 No, I never have to buy my own drink, but then again, I also have never asked for someone to buy one for me.

 lol.. most just go with no money, because it's expected haha.. Why wouldn't a girl buy a guy a drink? oh wait. what

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  deviliscious

Novice Member

Joined: 11/09/07
Posts: 6929

"Adjusts ponytails and pulls the lollipop out of my mouth"

11/08/11 1:31:17 PM#22
Originally posted by Robgmur
Originally posted by deviliscious
Originally posted by Grahor

To deviliscious:

 

That may be your way, but it's not my way. I don't like it, I would not date a woman like you; good thing we both don't have to.

SO you think a woman should be just like a man to be equal? Why would forcing a woman to conform to what men find acceptable be in any way shape or form equality?

That is just more of " control over women" that men feel they are entitled to.

In that case, equality  would be more of a man conforming to a woman's world, rather than a woman conforming to a mans.

 No, I never have to buy my own drink, but then again, I also have never asked for someone to buy one for me.

 lol.. most just go with no money, because it's expected haha.. Why wouldn't a girl buy a guy a drink? oh wait. what

I have never specifically bought a guy a drink, but I have bought rounds for the house. I bring money,  they just never ask me to use it in that manner. I may not pick up the tab on a date or purchase my own drinks, but if I  invite a man over for a home cooked meal, I will spend hundreds on that meal, spend hours, even days cooking that meal from scratch to ensure it is the best meal they ever had.  Like I said, it is all give and take. I was surprised how many people were completely unaware of how to make and use a fire pit. Guranteed to be the best tasting meat you ever have. Choosing the right wood combination and slow cooking guarantees good flavour and the most tender meat.

http://www.deejayssmokepit.net/Woods.htm

I have won every cook off I have entered, even French and Italian, and that is hard to do as a Texan. I make pasta, sauces, pastries, and bread all from scratch.  So yes a man may buy my drinks and my dinner, but it isn't like I do not return the favor in my own way. :)

 So yea, the creepy guys who think a  girl should pick up the tab, and buy her own drinks.. it is their loss.

PS. In college I won speed bar competitions, and was quite well known for writing Bar manuals and have trained many bartenders. When I walk into many clubs, they already know me, and sometimes ask for me to quest bartend, but never allow me to pay for my own drinks or pay a cover. They are always asking me to do my fire tricks. Sometimes it is a pain because there is no place to really go and just " get lost". I used to do fire tricks in a bikini.. that gives you instant " celebrity status" in the bartending field.

  Grahor

Apprentice Member

Joined: 5/08/11
Posts: 854

11/08/11 3:23:17 PM#23
Originally posted by deviliscious
Originally posted by Grahor

That may be your way, but it's not my way. I don't like it, I would not date a woman like you; good thing we both don't have to.

>SO you think a woman should be just like a man to be equal?

You don't understand. I don't think that women _should_ be anything. I know that women can't be exactly like men. But I _like_ women who are as much like men as it is possible.

 

>>Why would forcing a woman to conform to what men find acceptable be in any way shape or form equality?

See? This is exactly what I was talking about. I say what I _like_ - you consider it as being forced to be what I like. Because man's opinion is _important_, otherwise you would not even imagine that man's like or dislikes forcing you to do anything.

 

>>That is just more of " control over women" that men feel they are entitled to.

*shrug* it is you who are talking of conforming. I'm not interested, actually. I would like you to be more like men and don't give two s...ts about what I like or don't like. Or at least clearly understood that my wishes - what I like - is not your command.

 

>>In that case, equality  would be more of a man conforming to a woman's world, rather than a woman conforming to a mans.

I'll decide what equality is for me myself, thank you very much. And "equality", for my tastes, means "nobody conforming to anybody, but all equal parties choosing what they like". I would date women whos worldview I like (you are not included) and who like my worldview (again, you are not one of those). You will date whatever men you like. No conforming necessary.

 

 No, I never have to buy my own drink, but then again, I also have never asked for someone to buy one for me.

But you expect it to be bought. And I will not buy one for you. Therefore, you wouldn't consider me as someone who you are interested in. We are incompatible. I am not interested in dating you, you are not intereted in dating me; we know where we both stand. I don't see that I'm trying to force anything on you, unless "he doesn't like me" is equal "I am forced to change!" for you.

  deviliscious

Novice Member

Joined: 11/09/07
Posts: 6929

"Adjusts ponytails and pulls the lollipop out of my mouth"

11/08/11 3:58:07 PM#24
Originally posted by Grahor
Originally posted by deviliscious
Originally posted by Grahor

That may be your way, but it's not my way. I don't like it, I would not date a woman like you; good thing we both don't have to.

>SO you think a woman should be just like a man to be equal?

You don't understand. I don't think that women _should_ be anything. I know that women can't be exactly like men. But I _like_ women who are as much like men as it is possible.

 

>>Why would forcing a woman to conform to what men find acceptable be in any way shape or form equality?

See? This is exactly what I was talking about. I say what I _like_ - you consider it as being forced to be what I like. Because man's opinion is _important_, otherwise you would not even imagine that man's like or dislikes forcing you to do anything.

 

>>That is just more of " control over women" that men feel they are entitled to.

*shrug* it is you who are talking of conforming. I'm not interested, actually. I would like you to be more like men and don't give two s...ts about what I like or don't like. Or at least clearly understood that my wishes - what I like - is not your command.

 

>>In that case, equality  would be more of a man conforming to a woman's world, rather than a woman conforming to a mans.

I'll decide what equality is for me myself, thank you very much. And "equality", for my tastes, means "nobody conforming to anybody, but all equal parties choosing what they like". I would date women whos worldview I like (you are not included) and who like my worldview (again, you are not one of those). You will date whatever men you like. No conforming necessary.

 

 No, I never have to buy my own drink, but then again, I also have never asked for someone to buy one for me.

But you expect it to be bought. And I will not buy one for you. Therefore, you wouldn't consider me as someone who you are interested in. We are incompatible. I am not interested in dating you, you are not intereted in dating me; we know where we both stand. I don't see that I'm trying to force anything on you, unless "he doesn't like me" is equal "I am forced to change!" for you.

Of course I expect it to be bought. When Bartenders and doormen will not even allow me to buy my own drinks, why would I want to date a guy who thinks I should because he has "issues" with women being treated well? I don't open my own doors, and yes I know I can drop something on purpose and a man will pick it up for me. Yes, I still appreciate a man who shows up with flowers, and pulls out my chair. I find those courtesies a sign of respect and also a good signal that the man knows how to treat a woman with love and respect. Of course women also do the same, but in their own way. It generally takes less effort for a man to do those things, than it does for a woman to spend hours, days preparing a meal from scratch, and less effort to pull a chair out than it does for a woman to set up a candle light and rose petal sauna in their living room in front of the fire place and give a full body massage. Everything is give and take. If a guy is so hung up on not pulling out a chair or picking up the tab,  it should be a big warning to a woman that he is only going to be more difficult and more indifferent in the treatment of the woman long term, and she would be better off passing on that one.  hat is not worth the timheir own way  It generally takes less effort from a mt a  .f respect./a   aaaa

  generals3

Novice Member

Joined: 11/22/04
Posts: 3306

11/08/11 4:00:27 PM#25
Originally posted by deviliscious

 So yea, the creepy guys who think a  girl should pick up the tab, and buy her own drinks.. it is their loss.

 

Why would you say the guy is creepy? Because he doesn't do it the old fashioned way? (which would be quite ironic)

Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt.
Among those who dislike oppression are many who like to oppress.

  Grahor

Apprentice Member

Joined: 5/08/11
Posts: 854

11/08/11 4:11:52 PM#26
Originally posted by deviliscious
>>Everything is give and take.
So, what is it exactly that you give? There is nothing I actually want that you can give me.
>>If a guy is so hung up on not pulling out a chair or picking up the tab,  it should be a big warning to a woman that he is only going to be more difficult and more indifferent in the treatment of the woman long term, and she would be better off passing on that one.  
And she will be absolutely right that I will not "treat her long-term". I am not interested in women who need to be treated; I am only interested in women who treat themselves.

 

  deviliscious

Novice Member

Joined: 11/09/07
Posts: 6929

"Adjusts ponytails and pulls the lollipop out of my mouth"

11/08/11 4:14:55 PM#27
Originally posted by generals3
Originally posted by deviliscious

 So yea, the creepy guys who think a  girl should pick up the tab, and buy her own drinks.. it is their loss.

 

Why would you say the guy is creepy? Because he doesn't do it the old fashioned way? (which would be quite ironic)

I consider them creepy because they are more " hung up" on  trying to destroy the courting process, they  obviously care more about that then being attentive to their date, and ensuring it goes well. I would much rather be out with a guy who is trying to ensure I have a good time, and that we get to know each other better, than a guy who has all these hang ups he can't even put aside to have an enjoyable date. If the man asks a woman out,  he should be prepared to entertain her, and that means picking up the tab. If a woman asks a man over to her home for dinner, she should be be prepared to make it an ejoyable experience for him as well. It is all give and take. If I am out with " friends" we often go dutch, but if I am asked on a date, I expect him to provide that date. Now, I also believe that if I had fun on that date, and enjoyed his company, I will do something nice in return, such as invite him over for dinner, and massage for example.

Why would I waste my time with a guy who cares more about  his " issues" about treating women well, than he does about ensuring the date goes well?  That just comes across as " too mental" and if I had ever made the mistake of actually accepting a date from a  guy like this, I would be glad to pay for the dinner,  just to  allow me to excuse myself quickly. I can only see paying for dinner, if I do not wish to see him again.

  deviliscious

Novice Member

Joined: 11/09/07
Posts: 6929

"Adjusts ponytails and pulls the lollipop out of my mouth"

11/08/11 4:18:18 PM#28
Originally posted by Grahor
Originally posted by deviliscious
>>Everything is give and take.
So, what is it exactly that you give? There is nothing I actually want that you can give me.
>>If a guy is so hung up on not pulling out a chair or picking up the tab,  it should be a big warning to a woman that he is only going to be more difficult and more indifferent in the treatment of the woman long term, and she would be better off passing on that one.  
And she will be absolutely right that I will not "treat her long-term". I am not interested in women who need to be treated; I am only interested in women who treat themselves.

 

As I said. BIG WARNING SIGN.  Most " normal  men" love to have a good home cooked meal, and full body massage, and would think you completely mental for not wanting one. Men like this are too mental to consider dating, and it is good you put that upfront, so that women can know ahead of time they should run like they are set on fire.

  generals3

Novice Member

Joined: 11/22/04
Posts: 3306

11/08/11 4:49:55 PM#29
Originally posted by deviliscious
 

I consider them creepy because they are more " hung up" on  trying to destroy the courting process, they  obviously care more about that then being attentive to their date, and ensuring it goes well. I would much rather be out with a guy who is trying to ensure I have a good time, and that we get to know each other better, than a guy who has all these hang ups he can't even put aside to have an enjoyable date. If the man asks a woman out,  he should be prepared to entertain her, and that means picking up the tab. If a woman asks a man over to her home for dinner, she should be be prepared to make it an ejoyable experience for him as well. It is all give and take. If I am out with " friends" we often go dutch, but if I am asked on a date, I expect him to provide that date. Now, I also believe that if I had fun on that date, and enjoyed his company, I will do something nice in return, such as invite him over for dinner, and massage for example.

Why would I waste my time with a guy who cares more about  his " issues" about treating women well, than he does about ensuring the date goes well?  That just comes across as " too mental" and if I had ever made the mistake of actually accepting a date from a  guy like this, I would be glad to pay for the dinner,  just to  allow me to excuse myself quickly. I can only see paying for dinner, if I do not wish to see him again.

But you see i don't mind the old fashioned model, i actually love it but here's my problem. Most women nowadays want to "wear the pants". They want to be independent, take men's jobs , etc... And yet we still have to pay the bill? Well that's convenient!

The whole point of men paying up the bills is because they are supposed to be the ones providing the money, women didn't have incomes so the men payed, quite normal. But if you're gonna take men's job than you can take their bills as well!

I personally would pay the drinks and so on, but at the same time i wouldn't stand having a partner persuing a carreer. (there are other reasons to this, like the fact i believe a home needs a provider of money and one who ensures it is used well for the home and kids to be taken care of)

Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt.
Among those who dislike oppression are many who like to oppress.

  Grahor

Apprentice Member

Joined: 5/08/11
Posts: 854

11/08/11 4:58:34 PM#30
Originally posted by deviliscious

As I said. BIG WARNING SIGN.  Most " normal  men" love to have a good home cooked meal, and full body massage, and would think you completely mental for not wanting one. Men like this are too mental to consider dating, and it is good you put that upfront, so that women can know ahead of time they should run like they are set on fire.

I'm quite a cook myself; if anyone would be making a good home cooked meal, that would be me. In fact, that's what I already do. As for massage, it's indeed nice, for both people, and "give and take" I prefer, in that area, "I do a massage for you, you do a massage for me".

 

As I've said, there is absolutely nothing you can offer me that I want and that I can't get with women who see "equality" same way I see it; as such, I don't see any "give and take" from the likes of you, but only "take, take, take".

 

And of course I am always fully upfront about it; upfrontness from both sides is something I also consider the mark of equality.

  deviliscious

Novice Member

Joined: 11/09/07
Posts: 6929

"Adjusts ponytails and pulls the lollipop out of my mouth"

11/08/11 6:32:02 PM#31
Originally posted by generals3
Originally posted by deviliscious
 

I consider them creepy because they are more " hung up" on  trying to destroy the courting process, they  obviously care more about that then being attentive to their date, and ensuring it goes well. I would much rather be out with a guy who is trying to ensure I have a good time, and that we get to know each other better, than a guy who has all these hang ups he can't even put aside to have an enjoyable date. If the man asks a woman out,  he should be prepared to entertain her, and that means picking up the tab. If a woman asks a man over to her home for dinner, she should be be prepared to make it an ejoyable experience for him as well. It is all give and take. If I am out with " friends" we often go dutch, but if I am asked on a date, I expect him to provide that date. Now, I also believe that if I had fun on that date, and enjoyed his company, I will do something nice in return, such as invite him over for dinner, and massage for example.

Why would I waste my time with a guy who cares more about  his " issues" about treating women well, than he does about ensuring the date goes well?  That just comes across as " too mental" and if I had ever made the mistake of actually accepting a date from a  guy like this, I would be glad to pay for the dinner,  just to  allow me to excuse myself quickly. I can only see paying for dinner, if I do not wish to see him again.

But you see i don't mind the old fashioned model, i actually love it but here's my problem. Most women nowadays want to "wear the pants". They want to be independent, take men's jobs , etc... And yet we still have to pay the bill? Well that's convenient!

The whole point of men paying up the bills is because they are supposed to be the ones providing the money, women didn't have incomes so the men payed, quite normal. But if you're gonna take men's job than you can take their bills as well!

I personally would pay the drinks and so on, but at the same time i wouldn't stand having a partner persuing a carreer. (there are other reasons to this, like the fact i believe a home needs a provider of money and one who ensures it is used well for the home and kids to be taken care of)

Never once, as a woman have I thought a man was paying the bill because they were the " money earners". I do not see it that way at all. I see that as a man  who  is paying for dinner because he wanted to provide you with a fun  and entertaining  evening. Men pay the bill because they are showing interest in the woman and would like to demonstrate that interest in a way that is not just jumping on her and humping her leg. It shows  they are capable of putting  her first.

It isn't about money  or power at all.  It would make no difference if the man had packed a picnic basket and had a candle light dinner under a tree overlooking the lake. To be honest, I prefer that over the whole " getting dressed up uncomfortably and dining out in a place that  creates tons of awkward moments" anyhow. It is about showing the woman he is interested in her enough to put her first.

Maybe that is where the whole misunderstanding comes from. Men look at it as a money issue, while women look at it as an " interest" issue.

 I find  your entire view of women should not have a career quite disturbing however.

  deviliscious

Novice Member

Joined: 11/09/07
Posts: 6929

"Adjusts ponytails and pulls the lollipop out of my mouth"

11/08/11 6:48:07 PM#32
Originally posted by Grahor
Originally posted by deviliscious

As I said. BIG WARNING SIGN.  Most " normal  men" love to have a good home cooked meal, and full body massage, and would think you completely mental for not wanting one. Men like this are too mental to consider dating, and it is good you put that upfront, so that women can know ahead of time they should run like they are set on fire.

I'm quite a cook myself; if anyone would be making a good home cooked meal, that would be me. In fact, that's what I already do. As for massage, it's indeed nice, for both people, and "give and take" I prefer, in that area, "I do a massage for you, you do a massage for me".

 

As I've said, there is absolutely nothing you can offer me that I want and that I can't get with women who see "equality" same way I see it; as such, I don't see any "give and take" from the likes of you, but only "take, take, take".

 

And of course I am always fully upfront about it; upfrontness from both sides is something I also consider the mark of equality.

Interesting that you could view that as take take take, considering  My ex husband was the  one taking advantage. I worked multiple jobs,  paid for his college that he did not attend, instead he opted to go pool sharking instead and pretend to do homework. He kept up the charade  for almost an entire semester. Until someone came into my work and told me they saw him down at the pool hall. Then I found out he had not attended classes at all, classes I paid for. I had found him several jobs before I finally had tired of his lies, drug abuse, and physical abuse. I worked 3 jobs put myself through school, and yet that was what I received in return. It cost me dearly, but was well worth finally ridding myself from that.

It is ironic that you view " my type  of woman" as a taker,  considering  the man I am in  a relationship with at this time has told me I am the most giving woman he has ever met.  " upfrontness " is a sign of respect, however, weird hangups on treating a girl like a girl is just that to me.. weird. I love that my man brings me flowers for no reason. I love that he opens my doors, pulls out my chairs, prepares me a nice cherry bubble bath. I would not want it any other way. It is give and take, just as he does special things for me, I do special things for him. He loves it when I come up to his work dressed seductively and make his coworkers jealous feeding him strawberries in his office. He loves me bringing him a massage pillow at work when his back was hurting from moving my couch for me. 

I think that men think entirely too much about career/power/ money issues in a relationship.  In my tribes tradition,  women were responsible for business, economy, home and family. Men still courted the women,  and brought the food home, but they were equally giving.  Men took on the womens clan name, but yet they still courted the women approriately.  You look at money and power being tied to mating rituals. I do not.

 

  generals3

Novice Member

Joined: 11/22/04
Posts: 3306

11/08/11 6:52:20 PM#33
Originally posted by deviliscious

Never once, as a woman have I thought a man was paying the bill because they were the " money earners". I do not see it that way at all. I see that as a man  who  is paying for dinner because he wanted to provide you with a fun  and entertaining  evening. Men pay the bill because they are showing interest in the woman and would like to demonstrate that interest in a way that is not just jumping on her and humping her leg. It shows  they are capable of putting  her first.

Men show they're interested by going out , just like the women. Otherwise i have to take from that when a women doesn't pay the bills she isn't interested.

It isn't about money  or power at all.  It would make no difference if the man had packed a picnic basket and had a candle light dinner under a tree overlooking the lake. To be honest, I prefer that over the whole " getting dressed up uncomfortably and dining out in a place that  creates tons of awkward moments" anyhow. It is about showing the woman he is interested in her enough to put her first.

I never said it was about "power" either, there is no power conflict whatsoever, merely a role conflict.

Maybe that is where the whole misunderstanding comes from. Men look at it as a money issue, while women look at it as an " interest" issue.

The issue here is if it's about interest than women aren't interested in us. I don't see why a man should put more efforts to show interest than women.

 I find  your entire view of women should not have a career quite disturbing however.

Because i care about a household that is well taken care of? I believe in specialisation. And from what i've seen men usually are lesser at taking care of a house than women (this is a compliment unlike what feminists might say). Meanwhile i firmly believe men are better at the majority of jobs. So in my eyes it's just a matter of doing things the most efficient way.

 

Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt.
Among those who dislike oppression are many who like to oppress.

  deviliscious

Novice Member

Joined: 11/09/07
Posts: 6929

"Adjusts ponytails and pulls the lollipop out of my mouth"

11/08/11 7:23:20 PM#34
Originally posted by generals3
Originally posted by deviliscious

Never once, as a woman have I thought a man was paying the bill because they were the " money earners". I do not see it that way at all. I see that as a man  who  is paying for dinner because he wanted to provide you with a fun  and entertaining  evening. Men pay the bill because they are showing interest in the woman and would like to demonstrate that interest in a way that is not just jumping on her and humping her leg. It shows  they are capable of putting  her first.

Men show they're interested by going out , just like the women. Otherwise i have to take from that when a women doesn't pay the bills she isn't interested.

It isn't about money  or power at all.  It would make no difference if the man had packed a picnic basket and had a candle light dinner under a tree overlooking the lake. To be honest, I prefer that over the whole " getting dressed up uncomfortably and dining out in a place that  creates tons of awkward moments" anyhow. It is about showing the woman he is interested in her enough to put her first.

I never said it was about "power" either, there is no power conflict whatsoever, merely a role conflict.

Maybe that is where the whole misunderstanding comes from. Men look at it as a money issue, while women look at it as an " interest" issue.

The issue here is if it's about interest than women aren't interested in us. I don't see why a man should put more efforts to show interest than women.

 I find  your entire view of women should not have a career quite disturbing however.

Because i care about a household that is well taken care of? I believe in specialisation. And from what i've seen men usually are lesser at taking care of a house than women (this is a compliment unlike what feminists might say). Meanwhile i firmly believe men are better at the majority of jobs. So in my eyes it's just a matter of doing things the most efficient way.

 

Traditonally, in my culture, The women were in charge of economy, business, home and family.  There was not a problem of the household not being attended to, because women conducted business from their homes. It is a design flaw in your society that requires women to work outside the home that is the problem there, not that women should not conduct business.  It is refreshing though to see that your" advanced civilization", has now been progressing forward to the " work at home mom" and shifting in regards to more home based businesses, which I personally consider the advanced model, that the tribes were using for thousands of years that your society is finally catching up with.

Women are more subtle in their ways to let a man know she is interested. We talk with our eyes. Men have cued into this over the generations and know what " the look" means. 

 

 

 

  Grahor

Apprentice Member

Joined: 5/08/11
Posts: 854

11/09/11 3:38:52 AM#35

*shrug* so may be you are an exception. May be you give as much as you take or much more. Not something I'm interested in, but something others are interested in. May be. But I'm not gonna check it out to see. From the get go, from first dating, you are not what I look for; I'll pass.

 

I'm sure the dating pool of traditionalists is huge enough to not be interested in me. Not that those don't have their problems - some of them just follow their supposed "role" without following it through, some of them give everything they are supposed to but ask for one tiny thing - for submission... Still, plenty to choose from. Just not me.

  Robgmur

Novice Member

Joined: 12/12/09
Posts: 323

11/09/11 9:27:40 AM#36
Originally posted by deviliscious
Originally posted by Grahor
Originally posted by deviliscious
>>Everything is give and take.
So, what is it exactly that you give? There is nothing I actually want that you can give me.
>>If a guy is so hung up on not pulling out a chair or picking up the tab,  it should be a big warning to a woman that he is only going to be more difficult and more indifferent in the treatment of the woman long term, and she would be better off passing on that one.  
And she will be absolutely right that I will not "treat her long-term". I am not interested in women who need to be treated; I am only interested in women who treat themselves.

 

As I said. BIG WARNING SIGN.  Most " normal  men" love to have a good home cooked meal, and full body massage, and would think you completely mental for not wanting one. Men like this are too mental to consider dating, and it is good you put that upfront, so that women can know ahead of time they should run like they are set on fire.

 So what you're saying is... for a few drinks you will make them dinner and massage them? that's basically what a prostitute is.. minus the cooking part, for christs' sake a guy would rather get a happy ending then a nice steak..  I think if I met a girl at the club or bar and she baught me a few shots I would think highly of her, as would any guy.

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  Robgmur

Novice Member

Joined: 12/12/09
Posts: 323

11/09/11 9:30:18 AM#37

A tribe? wtf is going on?

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  Grahor

Apprentice Member

Joined: 5/08/11
Posts: 854

11/09/11 9:49:15 AM#38
Originally posted by Robgmur

A tribe? wtf is going on?

Dallas, TX - I say, native american heritage. Them americans love to trace their bloodlines to both Mayflower and Pocahontas. Conveniently closing the eyes on all the rape rape things that were merrily going along that way.

 

Actually, that's the first time I've looked at her profile and seen that she's from Texas. Wouldn't even bother answering, knowing that.

 

P.S. That was initially pretty long post, but since I'm trying to conform to local rules, I had to remove all the potentially inflammatory opinions from my post, to the point where there is next to no point in posting. :( Bah.

  generals3

Novice Member

Joined: 11/22/04
Posts: 3306

11/09/11 1:57:47 PM#39
Originally posted by deviliscious
 

Traditonally, in my culture, The women were in charge of economy, business, home and family.  There was not a problem of the household not being attended to, because women conducted business from their homes. It is a design flaw in your society that requires women to work outside the home that is the problem there, not that women should not conduct business. No offense but the system you refer to cannot work, period. Only menial tasks can be performed from your house. You can't go have business meetings at your home, personal contact is needed. And most jobs simply cannot in any conceivable ways be performed in your home. You can't be a cop, soldier, construction worker, manager , etc. from your home, you need to be on the field, period.

  It is refreshing though to see that your" advanced civilization", has now been progressing forward to the " work at home mom" and shifting in regards to more home based businesses, which I personally consider the advanced model, that the tribes were using for thousands of years that your society is finally catching up with.

You can only do so much from your home and even for tasks you do at home at one point or an other you'll need to go somewhere else (you work on a project at home and than you'll need to present it , maybe to multiple people, maybe than need to revise it , cooperate with others which could be much easier if you're all in the same room, etc.)

I would also like to add that having some part time job you can do at home while taking care of said home doesn't disturb me in the least. My concern lies with partners who think it's more important to prove they are "emancipated feminists" rather than actually ensuring the home is well taken care off. (no i don't believe in daycare centers and alike)

Women are more subtle in their ways to let a man know she is interested. We talk with our eyes. Men have cued into this over the generations and know what " the look" means. 

I suck at body language, so you can do whatever you want with your eyes, i won't see it (and i'm fairly certain there are many like me). Unless you're crying or have eyes that look like you didn't sleep for 2 days your eyes say nothing to me.

 

 

 

 

Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt.
Among those who dislike oppression are many who like to oppress.

  deviliscious

Novice Member

Joined: 11/09/07
Posts: 6929

"Adjusts ponytails and pulls the lollipop out of my mouth"

11/09/11 4:36:47 PM#40
Originally posted by Robgmur
Originally posted by deviliscious
Originally posted by Grahor
Originally posted by deviliscious
>>Everything is give and take.
So, what is it exactly that you give? There is nothing I actually want that you can give me.
>>If a guy is so hung up on not pulling out a chair or picking up the tab,  it should be a big warning to a woman that he is only going to be more difficult and more indifferent in the treatment of the woman long term, and she would be better off passing on that one.  
And she will be absolutely right that I will not "treat her long-term". I am not interested in women who need to be treated; I am only interested in women who treat themselves.

 

As I said. BIG WARNING SIGN.  Most " normal  men" love to have a good home cooked meal, and full body massage, and would think you completely mental for not wanting one. Men like this are too mental to consider dating, and it is good you put that upfront, so that women can know ahead of time they should run like they are set on fire.

 So what you're saying is... for a few drinks you will make them dinner and massage them? that's basically what a prostitute is.. minus the cooking part, for christs' sake a guy would rather get a happy ending then a nice steak..  I think if I met a girl at the club or bar and she baught me a few shots I would think highly of her, as would any guy.

Quite being silly. I am talking about dating, not prostitution.  So if a man buys a woman dinner and gives her a full body massage he is a prostitute as well? Treatting each other with love and respect is not prostitution. 

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