yeah wow i played for a long time so im trying to avoid going back to that and lotro felt almost the same im currently fooling around with ddo but im not too sure yet i wish there were more choices or atleast more sandbox games out there

DDO is good for what your looking for. 

To me to play casual I don't want to pay monthly.

 I also enjoyed Runes of Magic, the crafting system not all that great but there is one, along with harvesting.

Go back to eq1. With a supply of plat you can buy a tank or a healer bot and it makes it that much easier to play.

Eq1 is wide open enough that it's the ultimate choose your own adventure.

I personally would disagree on ddo as a casual choice as the game is primarily centered around group play.

Also in regards to age of conan, if you haven't tried it lately, they have made great strides in the game. It has a well built graphical engine that should behave on your laptop.

Never played DDO, so I'm not sure there - However I can recommend City of Heroes and Champions online (although Champions is new so lacking in content and also I'm not sure if it would run on your laptop, City of Heroes should be fine on your laptop though:))

No crafting in DDO.  Sorry.

But its as complex game as it gets. Lots of way to build character, multiclass, different weapon choices...you name it.

Runes of Magic is good if you want free traditional MMO experience. Its like free WOW.

I play both games. Ocasionally. When i dont play TF2 or some single player RPG

Thats good side of F2P. Play when and how much you want.

 how do u all feel about eve online is it friendly to a casual player

 any other mmos that could be considered casual

Wait 9 months... play ffxiv.

I didn't read every page, but if you want a sandbox experience try this:

http://www.ryzom.com/en/

The client itself is entirely free to download, and the game comes with a 21 day trial.  After the trial, the subscription fee is only 9.99.  People say the game has one of the friendliest communities around, and based off of what I've seen (currently on the trial myself), this has proven to be true.

www.gamersfirst.com/swordofthenewworld/

I am really surprised I have not seen this game suggested. It is a free to play game that I have found that I am able to play casually or in depth. You start the game by creating a family, not just a character. Although you can play one single player in the game normally you play 3 characters. A good combo would be a fighter, musketeer, and a scout. You can mix and match here and there as far as what class combo you want but most times you will want a scout as they are your healers. The game has a strong quest line throughout your levels. One of the great features about the game is it encourages afk leveling and questing. You can set your characters on auto and they will engage the enemies and heal your party automatically. There is still plenty you can do while actually playing the game but wont get stuck not being able to get pass something cause it involves a several hour camp. There are 3 servers, 2 pvp (baron) and one elected pvp. There are also unique player characters, (UPC) that you can quest for to get to join your family.

Like most free to play MMORPG's there are pay features. Certain items can be purchased with real $$ but not so much that it is game breaking or even close to it. The really nice thing though is that most of the things you can get from the cash shop you can also purchase from the very players that bought them with the in game currency, (vis).

Xiggie

Sword of the new world has no immersion really, people afk and kill as that's pretty much what you have to do to lvl. From what ive read it takes about a year having your computer run 24/7 while your afk to get to cap where the fun starts or a month if you pay. DDO ,some say its casual friendly others say its party based so no so i cant really comment on that. Like the above poster said i think ryzom would be a great game for you, you could also check out atlantica and EQ2.

I agree with you about the way people afk in SotNW. However this is not exclusive in the game. I personally like to solo for the most part with some grouping mixed in. As for it taking a year without premium and a month with premium, this is not correct. The items that boost exp are a 20% boost I think. The levels go 1 to 100 then you get veteran status with a scroll you buy from the cash shop... or you can just buy one on the market with in game currency from someone who bought it from the cash shop. It has taken me about a month to get 25% into veteran status and I have not played or afk'd very solidly at all. One thing I dislike about free to play games is they almost always have some sort of cash shop and as a non cash shop player I am forced to watch everyone else surpass me with great ease. I was impressed with this game cause that did not happen. As a matter of fact some of the people in my clan are trailing behind me because I applied more effort into learning the game whereas they have relied on the cash shop items.

Xiggie