WAR (Warhammer Online)

On the 18th of September, the wow fanbois will be foaming at the mouth to get a chance to flame all those who purchase this game that copied every and all aspects of wow, I mean, after all Blizzard created User Interfaces and green grass, castles and orcs right?.

Step by step of what will happen:

a.)The game will launch with roughly 14 servers at launch day.

b.)Jeff Kaplan ( Lead Designer in wow) will wake up and look at himself in the mirror and talk sexy to himself, you dirty epeener Jeff. During his dirty talk session, he will get a disturbing phone-call from his butt buddy "Furor". Hey Jeff, uhm, we have a problem... Mark Jacobs is stealin' from our Epeen funds, Warhammer has a ton of people. Jeff, " No way dude, they are totally knocking on our never-ending list of re-hashed ideals, besides, we have 1400 reputations to max out, the addicts will never leave."

c.)Paul Barnett gets ranked into the interweb mmoer hall of fame, Furor and Jeff  go back to living with their parents and working extreme part time hours to hardcore raid EQ nostalgia servers.

d.)Warhammers population grows and grows as 95% of the game population roll dark elf sorc and bright wizards and the other 5% runepriests and ironbreakers. Unable to keep up with the funding needed to run the game, EA and Mythic call upon Vivendi to help with servers.

e.)Vivendi shortly after owns the game and destroys all fun-factor from within and eats EA and Mythic whole.

f.) Kotor mmo launches, the whole U.S. workforce production stops and sends the economy into a downward spiral.

This post has the opportunity to get the "dumbest post of the year" award.

anyone agree with me that this post is emo and should die??

War becomes a huge hit in the usa & ozz

War fails in EU the bigger market because of GoA the arogant basterds

and everyone in EU is forced to go back to wow with there tails between there

leg's due to shitty service down times lies and silent treatment and numerious

locked threads on warhammer alliance silencing the EU community adds to

further frustrations as GoA lock topic dog Garth goes lock topic crazy.

F gave me a kick, but no giggles.

You managed to make a post that for some reason kept my attention all the way through. For that, I congratulate you.

Now I must leave and hopefully never return...

Originally posted by Hamrtime

This post has the opportunity to get the "dumbest post of the year" award.

YES!

7:00 AM - Servers Open

8:00 AM - Servers begin to crash. Reason: Someone found out how to get the Paul Hero Class. Everyone now looks like a crazy English man.

9:00 AM - Mark wakes up with two women dressed up like Witch Elves jumps through his window and begins to scream about "Liek ZOMG! Mark...hav muh behbehs! I LUUUUUURVE JOO!". Mark puts on his robes and wizard hat and begins to cast spells at them. Suddenly his mother's basement becomes the site for the first ever Real Life Warhammer Keep Siege.

10:00 AM - Funcom storms the Mythic HQ with flares, Works Bombs, and tiny Orc Choppa figurines. Funcom actually is winning the battle, but slowly they start to lose. Once they hit the 20th level...of the building, they kind of just shrug and start rolling around in piles of cash, smoking weed, and drinking rather outlandish amounts of Grape Soda.

11:00 AM - Hillary Clinton finally wakes up. She shouldn't have stayed up til 3 waiting for the servers to open.

12:00 PM - Eclipse of the sun. Bright Wizards suddenly lose all they powers. The Avatar strikes!

1:00 PM - Meeting in the confrence room. A female orc has been spotted in game. Troops are sent to confront this menace. Really...IT'S A TRAP! Blizzard dressed up a Dwarf in all green and gave it pretty golden locks. Blizzard takes advantage of this and hax the servers, causing them to explode with so many Murlocs that they begin to leak out of all the players monitors.

2:00 PM - Mankrik's wife is found

3:00 PM - Mankrik's wife is dubbed queen of the skaven

4:00 PM - The kids get home from school. All general chats are flooded with the first of the never ending "Chuck Norris plays a Choppa" jokes.

5:00 PM - Mark's Mom's basement is finally clear of the invaders. He finally gets to work...finding Funcom lying naked on the 20th floor. One of their GMs are mumbling about how he was actually a she.

6:00 PM - Jagex launched Runescape HD. WAR slowly begins to decline.

7:00 PM - Mythic introduces a new Zebra mount for whoever can recruit a friend.

8:00 PM - Patch. You can no use the attack 'Right in the Jibblies'. They found out that it actually causes the player to form Testicular cancer IRL. Mythic compensates these people with "Check your Nuts" shirts with the adorable squirrel and his two shiny nuts.

9:00 PM - Funcom finally leaves the Mythic HQs, deciding to delay the PvP patch for a few more months. Apparently their devs are all lost in a boobie transe. They just put a sign on the keeps sieges stating "Working as Intended".

10:00 PM - Blizzard finally introduces their patch entitled "War of the Hammers". It contains smaller sized server events, Faction vs Faction (RvR) combat (which is just another Honor grind), open dungeons, and a new class only availible to Dwarves called Slayers. Oh...and leveling is now 3-4x faster.

11:00 PM - I just wasted a good 5 minutes of your life.