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News & Features Discussion  » [Column] General: Sexism in Gaming 2012: Anger & Intellect

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234 posts found
  GrayGhost79

Novice Member

Joined: 8/30/08
Posts: 4888

1/26/13 10:55:36 PM#201
Originally posted by KaylettaJade
Originally posted by Jerek_
Originally posted by KaylettaJade

Although I don't support the format (whiny, pointless blog) that the author used, I keep seeing people say "I've never seen it" and "It's only women who point out their gender" and such things. So for those who don't grasp why women have an issue with how they're treated in gaming culture, here's a few pictures that should help explain things.

http://fatuglyorslutty.com/wp-content/uploads/god_that_kills.png

http://fatuglyorslutty.com/wp-content/uploads/rapetonight.jpg

http://fatuglyorslutty.com/wp-content/uploads/ThePeen.jpg

And then there is this one, in which the person is a male playing a female character:

http://fatuglyorslutty.com/wp-content/uploads/Dedterrorist.jpg

 

It's not being picked on that's the problem. It's not even the overcompetitve nature and subsequent bashing (especially in consoles) that's the problem. Have a problem with me? Think I suck at whatever I'm doing? Fine. Call me fat, ugly, stupid, say I live in my parents basement, accuse me of being a virgin. That doesn't even come close to bothering me because I've seen guys say it to guys, even to their friends. I've also seen guys accuse each other of fornicating with farm animals, dead bodies, children, and 2 liter soda bottles, and while seriously disturbed, I'm still not offended!

 

But don't threaten to rape me (1 in 5 women will be raped so that stuff isn't funny), don't threaten to stalk me, don't pick on your friends when they lose to a girl (believe it or not that isn't a freaking compliment to us), don't complain about female raid leaders who take it seriously (we're bitches when we do that, but a guy, well he's just getting it done the right way), don't talk about my vagina - whether I have one or not is not your freaking business, don't ask to see my tits, don't whisper me for nudes, and realize that even if YOU aren't doing any of this, someone else is. I know this because I've had every single one of those things happen to me personally.

 

I don't sit an whine about how piss poorly I've been treated in games because I'm a female. I don't hide my gender, but I don't carry it like a chip on my shoulder either. I don't carry a grudge against men, or anyone, over that stuff. Instead of getting angry, I just get even. I know how to screen capture, archive messages, save emails, and use the 'red-flag' words that make even that crappy GM who doesn't care take notice. Send messages like the links to me, I will do everything I can to get you banned.

 

You can sit there and say 'Sexism isn't the problem', but when men are threatening to rape women, cut up their vaginas, or rape then with knives so they can't reproduce, it is misogyny. I totally agree that the entire abusive nature of competitve gaming culture needs to be examined and fixed, but it is rife with sexism as well. I don't tell men to go build me a house or fix my car and I don't appreciate being told I belong in a kitchen making sandwiches.

Part of the difference is that if a female gamer told me to go fix her car i'd laugh my ass off- sterotypes exist for a reason i guess because my friends (male and female) cars do end up in my garage, and i do end up helping with house repairs.

You seem to understand the serious flaws in the gaming communities in some ways but not at all in others- you cant say I'm fine with a,b, and c but dont dare say x.  X is what they were looking for the whole time and you handed it to them, it doesn't matter what X is, just that it will really offend. 

I think some of this reflects the change over time with how people see the internet, especially since the rise of social networking.  When I started playing MMO's in 1997, there was no way in hell I would tell another player anything about myself.  It was a mark of how close knit my guild was that after years of UO and shadowbane many of them knew my first name, could recognize my voice and a very few even knew what I looked like.  It was normal to be this private because it was a known fact that the internet can be brutal and you don't give anyone things to use against you. 

So when people like me see users like kaylettaJade or techknowmoma (just using you two as an example so no offense I hope) willing to put what i assume are your actual pictures as avatars up at a site like mmorpg, its a red flag that immediately makes me think you are willing to make yourselves targets for abuse.  Not because your women, but because it makes me think you put yourselves out there to be targets in a way I never would.

 

I'm all for cleaning it all up, but that wasn't the point of this article or discussion. I was showing a difference between the abusive nonsense people say to other people in general, and the abuse they spew that is misogynistic. I understand and fully support cleaning all of it up, but it's really telling when the worst insults and most disgust bile is spewed at women and specifically about their sex or sexual organs. If they're willing to threaten to rape me or maim me because they want to offend me, they have a serious issue in the first place, and on top of that they're showing extreme misogny.

How many guys would willing put up with women threatening to bite their penis off, or cut it off, roast it, and feed it to a dog... all over a stupid video game? But we're expected to take if we want to play. No one should be subject to that kind of abuse, peroid, but how many times have you heard a woman threaten to cut off your penis or rape you? I've reported more than a dozen rape or sexually-explict maiming threats, most of them on the console, but the worst one was in Wow.

Your last paragraph shows whats wrong with gaming culture and the internet in general. My avatar is my face. I don't feel the need to hide who I am, and neither should anyone else. Saying that using my face is me willingly making myself a target for abuse is entirely wrong. No one simply owning up to who they are should ever make them a target for abuse. Regardless of race, creed, religion, gender/gender identity, sexual orientation, disability, etc. And it will never change if people don't stand up, refuse to hide, and educate the community.

 

The problem here is woman aren't the only ones they are threatening to rape and such. Male developers get told by players that they want to kill them, rape their corpse and then their family. I know it's easy to focus on simply you without much regard to others, but as far as the Hate goes pretty much everyone has their equal share. 

Look what the Goons did to the poor guy in EvE. They harassed him and recruited others to harass him in the hopes he would commit suicide. 

 

I'm a pretty big guy with thick skin, but not all male players are. They receive as much if not more due to being male simply because "They should be able to take it". 

 

I'm all for a worthy cause, but I won't back one whos goal is to simply transfer the hate to another group. I'll stick with supporting those that look to protect all rather than specific groups that have trouble seeing past their own issues. 

 

Keep in mind, while you think you have it bad in video games remember some 10-13 year old is getting told daily to choke on a d@ck and kill themselves over a video game. The issue is bigger than sexism, if thats all you want to address then your cause isn't worth my time. 

 

 

  Rohn

Advanced Member

Joined: 7/02/08
Posts: 3745

1/26/13 11:54:09 PM#202
Originally posted by KaylettaJade
Originally posted by steamtank
Originally posted by KaylettaJade

I'm all for cleaning it all up, but that wasn't the point of this article or discussion. I was showing a difference between the abusive nonsense people say to other people in general, and the abuse they spew that is misogynistic. I understand and fully support cleaning all of it up, but it's really telling when the worst insults and most disgust bile is spewed at women and specifically about their sex or sexual organs. If they're willing to threaten to rape me or maim me because they want to offend me, they have a serious issue in the first place, and on top of that they're showing extreme misogny.

How many guys would willing put up with women threatening to bite their penis off, or cut it off, roast it, and feed it to a dog... all over a stupid video game? But we're expected to take if we want to play. No one should be subject to that kind of abuse, peroid, but how many times have you heard a woman threaten to cut off your penis or rape you? I've reported more than a dozen rape or sexually-explict maiming threats, most of them on the console, but the worst one was in Wow.

Your last paragraph shows whats wrong with gaming culture and the internet in general. My avatar is my face. I don't feel the need to hide who I am, and neither should anyone else. Saying that using my face is me willingly making myself a target for abuse is entirely wrong. No one simply owning up to who they are should ever make them a target for abuse. Regardless of race, creed, religion, gender/gender identity, sexual orientation, disability, etc. And it will never change if people don't stand up, refuse to hide, and educate the community.

 

Yellow:  That would be HILARIOUS. I would laugh, as would many others, thats the difference. Im adult enough to not draw a connection between online violence and real life violence.

Now if someone tries to find out where you live and stalk you... thats different, its the real world, you are in actual jeapordy. You are not in any danger behind your computer screen and someone is screaming in chat that they want to rape you in front of your dog.

 

Red: If you post personal information to strangers, YOU ARE OPENING YOURSELF TO JUDGEMENT about who you are in real life, not who you are in a video game. Don't kid yourself, in real life you are being judged at all times in public. In a game, you are judged by what your avatar is and is doing, UNTIL you add your real life self to it.

 

Morals, and acceptable behaviour are not universal. If they were no war would happen, nothing would bother anyone.

If 1 in 5 men had that happen for real, would it still be funny? If it had happened to you, would you find jokes about it amusing? Somehow I doubt that. We easily forget that while the video game is a pretend world, we live in a real one where real things happens. Not everything can be brushed away or just ignored.

 

Judgement I'm fine with. Pass judgement all day long, think I'm ugly, fat, and stupid, be my guest. But our willingness to condesendingly pass judgement on those we don't know and don't understand has nothing to do with spewing vitriol at someone. There is a huge difference between people making assumptions based on my profile, or my avatar, or my facebook and people threatening rape or disfigurement because they don't like that I had more kills than them, or beat them in pvp, or was tapped as raid leader. One, although foolish, is social acceptable; the other is down right disgusting.

 

But we're talking about words or thoughts here.  It's a big difference.  You choose to let them affect you, or you don't.

No one has the right to never be offended.  We would all have to be forced to believe the same way, and act the same way, in order to make that happen.  Who's going to decide what "right" is?  Is it right to dictate to others how to think?

Just because others are different - act differently, believe differently - doesn't necessarily make them wrong.

That's the basic problem as I see it.  There are those that do not mind trampling all over other people's freedom in pursuit of their own objectives, or to consolidate their own power.

As an example, if this article was found offensive to men in the way it uses broad strokes to smear a gender, its wrongful accusations, and its one-sidedness, should the article be deleted and the author censured?

Hell hath no fury like an MMORPG player scorned.

  Wicoa

Novice Member

Joined: 1/08/07
Posts: 1613

1/27/13 12:49:05 AM#203

Well non of that described how me and my friends behave.

 

 

However lets talk about how some women use their charms to gain advantages in games.  Ive known several of them in my history of gaming some of them have managed to break guilds cause they managed to woo the guild leader.

 

 

Though alot of what you describe is said about different groups for example hardcore gamers of a particular game will verbally destroy people who they think aren't good enough because they are casuals and make a mistake.

 

 

Where there is a way to attack someone people find it. This seems to be a part of human nature.

 

 
  bliss14

Advanced Member

Joined: 4/01/11
Posts: 529

Ahh devil ether.

1/27/13 12:58:09 AM#204
Originally posted by troublmaker

How is there supposed to be a discussion on gender related topics when all of the posts are being deleted and modified by moderators?

I understand people who are acting bullying but I didn't see that here...

I had one mine deleted and i'm not even sure why.  No notification or anything.

  JohnR

Apprentice Member

Joined: 12/15/12
Posts: 12

1/27/13 1:05:33 AM#205

First, I think you wrote a very good article and conscientiously (imo) avoided successfully all of the pitfalls re: coming across as "shrill" or "strident" (at least to this man's perception).  I'm 52 and have been watching the so-called "battle of the sexes" since before, during and after the Women's Liberation Movements of the late 1960's and 1970's  (USA; I can't speak for other parts of the world. )   I was raised to believe (and still do) that women are fully equal to men regarding inherent humanity and personhood.   You raise some very good questions; e.g. why are people so frequently unwilling or unable to practice basic civility and courtesy? Your question, which I feel is insightful, I would broaden to not just gamer-geek nerd males but to ask what it is exactly that men find so frightening about women?  To both of these questions I would answer socialization aka culture and custom.  I also realize that while I believe what I'm saying is true is in part also a non-answer, and one that women and men shall have to discover together, perhaps even with each succeeding generation until Humanity finally gets this right. 

Yes, some men treat women as well as men very poorly.  Some men treat guys poorly but women better.  Yet other men treat the men okay but reserve special negative behavior just for females.  It also works this way in reverse for how women treat men socially.  Again, I feel  the root of this has to do with Socialization entirely.   Much of this has to do with a man (or woman)'s specific culture and unique upbringing.  Often women are much more powerful to the male psyche than women would assume.  Nor are we guys all that open about that.  Some are not even self-aware.  Being open potentially means being vulnerable, and for many male cultures being vulnerable is equated to weak or unfit or unprepared to assume a warrior role (should the need arise.)  Personally, I believe the capacity to be open and even to potentially risk vulnerability requires a strength and fortitude often discounted.  Add to this that frequently women/females/girls  often surpass men/males/boys in language and linguistic capactiy.  Yeah, I know I'm overgeneralizing.  But like you I often "overanalyze" and have been accused on occasion of "thinking too much" by those whom I feel think too little.  Consider how grade school girls and boys are often segregated either by custom or choice  - the childhood phase of boys and girls finding the other gender "repulsive."  The male gender has its share of Blockheads.  Do you know any women who are mean-spirited to men simply because they can be?

So, yes, there are some men of all ages who act like Beavis and Butthead, preferring to hang out with one another with their pixilated images of what women are in some metaphorical treehouse, rather than growing up and being adult.  On behalf of all adult men I would like to offer you apology, but I cannot apologize on behalf of misogynists and misogyny; nor am I a fan of misanthropy in any form.  Re: the commentator who said "a fat nerd is a fat nerd" congrats on being an equally-opportunity misantrhope (detect Sarcasm!!)  Who the bleep cares what another's "meat wrapper", the physical conveyance for her or his consciousness looks like in this context?  Unless one is considering acts of physical intimacy, I simply hope the other person's body works well for them.  I choose my friends based on their character, not outer appearance.  For as long as Beavis and Butthead wish to masquerade as women doing pole-dances in GW2, Blade & Soul, etc. - note: I'm not suggesting this be banned - but for as long as males prefer their cherished images about women to the reality of who woman are, (imo) vive la difference peers,  social understanding may elude the less bright.

Re: Civility.  Courtesy isn't a dying art; it's a LIVING art.  Hope we all practice it some.  Happy gaming!

  Wraithone

Advanced Member

Joined: 7/09/04
Posts: 3567

If you can't kill it, don't make it mad.

1/27/13 1:45:13 AM#206
Originally posted by bliss14
Originally posted by troublmaker

How is there supposed to be a discussion on gender related topics when all of the posts are being deleted and modified by moderators?

I understand people who are acting bullying but I didn't see that here...

I had one mine deleted and i'm not even sure why.  No notification or anything.

The best thing to do, when you have a question like that is to drop a PM to MikeB. In the years I've been here, he has been quite even handed and fair about things.

  Ehliya

Advanced Member

Joined: 7/13/06
Posts: 187

1/27/13 1:56:16 AM#207

There won't be any change unless/until player anonymity is removed.

Anonymity is what fuels this.  Same for online bullying of all kinds.  That is why there is such a wave of panic anytime a company somewhere starts talking about people having to post under their real names.  The bullies and cowards will run like roaches when a rock is lifted.

That said...

Your best bet in the meantime - and I know you will hate hearing this - is using whatever /ignore tools there are in a game and also just ignoring that person.

In Age of Conan, I once had this person following me around emoting really graphic and violent sexual assault on my female avatar.  Certainly a violation of the TOS, but I have found reporting people does little. So what did I do?  I stayed online but left the keyboard and went and did some chores (dishes, laundry, etc.).  When I came back the the little perv was gone and I never saw him again.  I believe he emoted himself out and eventually realized he wasn't getting a reaction.  

That is what these guys feed off - your reactions.  Treat them like they aren't there and they will move on.

Sadly, using logic to argue with them won't help.  You have no idea who you dealing with.  It may be someone with real mental or substance abuse problems.   Or one of those sociopaths who simply cannot empathize with other people.  Or just a sadist out for their own pleasure.  

  Dreamo84

Defender of Worlds

Joined: 5/20/04
Posts: 2994

I actually still like MMORPGs

1/27/13 2:07:35 AM#208

I think its disgusting how people can't even be a "geek" or a "nerd" now without having to prove themselves to this apparent geek "culture" that has sprung up.

Are we as bad as the jocks now? Flexing our computer skills and judging ones worth based on their knowledge of Superman comic books.

I always thought it was just about people who didn't fit in other places. Now it seems being a geek is as trendy as anything else. And the real geeks of today, are the people the "geeks" would call a loser.

  traplinex

Novice Member

Joined: 1/27/13
Posts: 14

1/27/13 2:10:34 AM#209

I think the geek girl meme explosion is a good place to start, one of the problems is guy gamers are used to ripping on each other in a harsh way, and expect it, unfortunaltey that same behaviour when the subject is female is taboo, while guy gamers can make fun of each other for being fat, ugly, nerd ragers and disparage each other's sexuality and manhood, they can't apply this behaviour to the fairer sex.

So here we have an entire subculture that cut it's teeth on trash talking in games like counterstrike and ultima online, trolling and flame wars expected to somehow transform into a bastion of tolerance and chivalry. As games became less geeky and more mainstream more and more thin skinned newcomers (male and female) are dipping thier toes into these toxic waters and realizing to thier dismay that there is no sheriff, no regulator, no consequences and no incentive to part with over a decade of online anonymity and it's many drawbacks.

That's the reality here, despite everyone's desire to imagine that there is some nobility and decency in the community, there just isn't overall, and probably won't be until enough time has gone by that the first and second wave of online gamers have left the fold. Much like the workplace this is going to be a slow transition, and will be even more resisted because of anonymity and zero accountability beyond banning.

The best soloution is to join like minded communites and ignore the darker parts of gaming communites. The other side to that choice is to really leave those communites alone, stop trying to change them and stop trying to make them feel something they aren't capable of and aren't interested in attoning for. 

I've seen both side of this, I've defended a female gamer in a voice chat and I've also had to sit through a guild desolving because another female gamer grew angry when men were too polite to her, and convinced the guild leader to kick out memebers that had refused to join chat channels she was in because she was obnoxious, on the basis they were being sexist.

And there's the other side of it, as much as guys are pigs, girls are bad in thier own way too, how many times has a guy been in a guild, had a girl join and because she might not get attention in her real life, decide to use her anonymity to stir the pot and cause a bunch of drama, wrapping a bunch of dudes around her finger and then wielding that influence to then cause problems for the males that choose not to play her game?

 

  NorseGod

Apprentice Member

Joined: 2/28/12
Posts: 574

1/27/13 2:14:18 AM#210
Originally posted by Wraithone
Originally posted by bliss14
Originally posted by troublmaker

How is there supposed to be a discussion on gender related topics when all of the posts are being deleted and modified by moderators?

I understand people who are acting bullying but I didn't see that here...

I had one mine deleted and i'm not even sure why.  No notification or anything.

The best thing to do, when you have a question like that is to drop a PM to MikeB. In the years I've been here, he has been quite even handed and fair about things.

Permission to post a comment that doesn't break the rules or permission to post a comment that opposes their stance on the social issue? I'm lost.

 

 

 

 

  Zairu

Novice Member

Joined: 1/09/09
Posts: 493

Yes, this is a personal attack.

1/27/13 2:50:57 AM#211
Originally posted by Fendel84M

I think its disgusting how people can't even be a "geek" or a "nerd" now without having to prove themselves to this apparent geek "culture" that has sprung up.

Are we as bad as the jocks now? Flexing our computer skills and judging ones worth based on their knowledge of Superman comic books.

I always thought it was just about people who didn't fit in other places. Now it seems being a geek is as trendy as anything else. And the real geeks of today, are the people the "geeks" would call a loser.

 

+1

  Magnetia

Advanced Member

Joined: 11/07/11
Posts: 969

Any fool can know. The point is to understand.

1/27/13 3:10:31 AM#212
Originally posted by traplinex

I think the geek girl meme explosion is a good place to start, one of the problems is guy gamers are used to ripping on each other in a harsh way, and expect it, unfortunaltey that same behaviour when the subject is female is taboo, while guy gamers can make fun of each other for being fat, ugly, nerd ragers and disparage each other's sexuality and manhood, they can't apply this behaviour to the fairer sex.

So here we have an entire subculture that cut it's teeth on trash talking in games like counterstrike and ultima online, trolling and flame wars expected to somehow transform into a bastion of tolerance and chivalry. As games became less geeky and more mainstream more and more thin skinned newcomers (male and female) are dipping thier toes into these toxic waters and realizing to thier dismay that there is no sheriff, no regulator, no consequences and no incentive to part with over a decade of online anonymity and it's many drawbacks.

That's the reality here, despite everyone's desire to imagine that there is some nobility and decency in the community, there just isn't overall, and probably won't be until enough time has gone by that the first and second wave of online gamers have left the fold. Much like the workplace this is going to be a slow transition, and will be even more resisted because of anonymity and zero accountability beyond banning.

The best soloution is to join like minded communites and ignore the darker parts of gaming communites. The other side to that choice is to really leave those communites alone, stop trying to change them and stop trying to make them feel something they aren't capable of and aren't interested in attoning for. 

I've seen both side of this, I've defended a female gamer in a voice chat and I've also had to sit through a guild desolving because another female gamer grew angry when men were too polite to her, and convinced the guild leader to kick out memebers that had refused to join chat channels she was in because she was obnoxious, on the basis they were being sexist.

And there's the other side of it, as much as guys are pigs, girls are bad in thier own way too, how many times has a guy been in a guild, had a girl join and because she might not get attention in her real life, decide to use her anonymity to stir the pot and cause a bunch of drama, wrapping a bunch of dudes around her finger and then wielding that influence to then cause problems for the males that choose not to play her game?

 

We do trashtalk a lot. It's a whole different thing to intentionally offend someone. There is a certain amount of rivalry that drives people to be better gamers. 

There is a line that defines banter and insult and most of us choose not to cross it because we are decent people. 

Play for fun. Play to win. Play for perfection. Play with friends. Play in another world. Why do you play?

  Scot

Hard Core Member

Joined: 10/10/03
Posts: 5252

1/27/13 4:00:20 AM#213

Is gaming a male arena? You only see what you want to see when it comes to anything.

Take a look at the TV sometime, try to find a scene where a man hits a women, good luck with that. Then try to find a scene where a women hits a man or a man hits a man or a women hits a women; easy peasey.

Take a look at adverts, if there is someone going to be made a joke of, made to look simple, stupid, have a practical joke pulled on them, it is always a guy. The one who does not know doing something a different way is better, it is a guy. The one who gets facepalmed into the floor, a guy.

Take a look at TV scheduling. Cooking, gardening and selling home shows. They are for both genders? I think not. Becoming famous by singing, every mans dream? I think not. Shows about plastic surgery, becoming a top model, dating shows etc etc etc. Have a look at today's TV guide and see how many TV programmes are made for men.

Gaming is an exception and hell you don’t like that! It not all about women, for women and run to your ethos and expectations.

So women have a awfully big slice of the cake from where I am sitting, in the entertainment industry everything is about them and for them. But then it is all down to perception and seeing what you want to see.

Would I air these views where my identiy is not concealed? No. Because we live in a society where political correctness has made every womens issue a burning news topic or an excepted reality. While mens issues do not exist.

  User Deleted
1/27/13 4:29:09 AM#214
Originally posted by Rednecksith
Originally posted by LadyEuphei

Woooo, I read the article, but I lack the 10 days to read the comments. This is super controversial it seems. I think in general the gaming community is dirt and that there is a small populace of about 20% that are decent people. Just goes to show you that there are alot of pathetic, broken, just plain ignorant people on earth.

As girl gamers the only thing we can do is expect it. I would like it to be fixed, but it wont. Gamers are racist, sexist, belligerent a-holes and you just need to find you niche community with in a game to have fun. 

It is honestly harder to play games as a girl, since all I get is harassed. God forbid someone finds out I am a girl then they go nuts. People that visit my stream are 50% nice people and 50% asking to see tit pics. It is rediculous the amount of scum that exists and festers on the internet. I look at it as this:

All the guys that are picking on people by sex or race are little stupid kids who never got laid, hugged, loved, or even a second look from a female and now they are bitter. I am just sorry for them to be honest. Although either way they get banned. 

Okay... don't take this the wrong way. I do watch your stream from time to time, and enjoy it, but... you really don't have any credibility when it comes to this issue.

  1. Almost every time I see you streaming, you're wearing VERY low-cut shirts which show off your cleavage.
  2. You have your webcam positioned specifically to show off said cleavage. (45 degree angle, camera centered on your chest).
  3. This is the big one... you advertise the fact that you're showing off your cleavage in your video titles. Not all the time, but at least 30% of it. I've actually seen you title your stream, "Everybody loves BOOBS!".
Do I condone those little shitheads who come into your stream and spout their crap? Of course not. But when you are very obviously exploiting your 'attributes' to attract more viewers to your channel (and you can't deny that you are) then you really don't have any right to complain about the fact that you attract an undesirable element. It's like a girl who works at Hooters complaining that the customers are ogling her; well DUH!
 
It takes a lot of nerve to comment as you did considering that you're actually what the thread author (and many in this thread) would consider part of the problem. You take all the 'good' things about appealing to the baser desires of the predominantly male gaming crowd, but then complain about the bad. It's a two-way street, and always will be.

Who are you telling another person what cloth they are gonna use and what is proper? Who are you telling another person how to direct your camera and what not? Its their own freaking choice.  Why does a persons cloth have to do anything with their credibilitiy?  You are part of the issue that the article takes up. Without even knowing it. 

  MurlockDance

Advanced Member

Joined: 6/20/10
Posts: 1219

1/27/13 4:46:24 AM#215

As a female gamer, and French to boot, I have had more than my fair share of being called all sorts of things, being told what would happen to me, how horrible I am, etc. by all sorts of gamers. Everyone gets it in online games, it seems to attract the cesspool of humanity.

Here is how I handle it :

1) I use the ignore function liberally. If someone is clearly being an asshat towards anyone insulting x, talking about what he is going to do to someone else's mom, sister, other random relative, spouse, making denegrating comments about ethnicity, culture, nationality, whatever, he gets slapped on ignore. If someone is rude towards me or someone else, he gets slapped on ignore. I give guildmates in WoW a 3 strikes, he is out (by he I mean in general, not men specifically). Anyone I don't know is 1 strike. I have a 0 tolerance policy. Even if the person is just having a moment of temporary asshattery, I do not want to associate myself even in a game environment with people who lose control and get their kicks from making other people feel bad or creating unnecessary drama. Gaming needs etiquette and the realization that other people want to game in peace too.

2) If someone has targetted me for being female and causes more disruption, I report them or petition a GM. If it is a guildmate that is in an important position, I leave the guild and find a better suited one.

3) I categorically refuse to create sexy female characters. If I play female characters, I make them interesting i.e. battle worn vets, strong women who wear heavy armour or gear that makes them look like they are seasoned adventurers. Women don't want their vital areas injured anymore than men do, so no chainmail bikinis, miniskirts, high heels, etc. If 80% of any armour set suddenly disappears when I put it on a female character, in comparison to a male character, or if I can't make female characters that are strong, I am not interested in rolling one and so I play male characters only. There are plenty of games where I only have male characters. Even if I can generate strong female characters, I keep a 50/50 ratio. You would be surprised how many men do not hit on strong female characters (just look at female orcs in WoW). If I play a male character, I get treated as a man and that is totally fine by me.

4) I never forward that I am female in real life unless I get into a guild or meet other women while playing. I do not talk on vent. If somehow the cat gets out of the bag, I make sure my male partymembers and guildmates realize that I am one of the guys. I never, ever, try to weasle stuff out of people. I do however feel ok with asking for help sometimes but with the understanding that I help others in return. Give and take is great ! If I am grouped up, I am one of the team, whether it is for PvP, RvR, raiding, dungeon-running, doing something silly.

5) When the imbeciles come out en force in chat, I turn it off.

 

After adopting these points in my playstyle, I have personally had few problems in MMORPGS recently.

However, the harassment suffered by female gamers in CS tournaments, in gaming conventions, and by female members of staff in game companies by the gaming community has got to stop ! That is much worse than being harassed ingame, when you can ignore people or choose not to play with them. I am a little surprised that no one is talking about that aspect of this article. Perhaps there is room to have a female-oriented gaming convention or two, means to attract more female devs, writers, scripters, and programmers, more strong female gaming clans...

Women gamers are here to stay and there are more of us all the time, and no matter of trying to drive us off will succeed. We will be designing, playing, and competing more and more in the gaming industry.

Playing MUDs and MMOs since 1994.

  MurlockDance

Advanced Member

Joined: 6/20/10
Posts: 1219

1/27/13 4:51:07 AM#216
Originally posted by mymmo
Originally posted by Rednecksith

Okay... don't take this the wrong way. I do watch your stream from time to time, and enjoy it, but... you really don't have any credibility when it comes to this issue.

  1. Almost every time I see you streaming, you're wearing VERY low-cut shirts which show off your cleavage.
  2. You have your webcam positioned specifically to show off said cleavage. (45 degree angle, camera centered on your chest).
  3. This is the big one... you advertise the fact that you're showing off your cleavage in your video titles. Not all the time, but at least 30% of it. I've actually seen you title your stream, "Everybody loves BOOBS!".
Do I condone those little shitheads who come into your stream and spout their crap? Of course not. But when you are very obviously exploiting your 'attributes' to attract more viewers to your channel (and you can't deny that you are) then you really don't have any right to complain about the fact that you attract an undesirable element. It's like a girl who works at Hooters complaining that the customers are ogling her; well DUH!
 
It takes a lot of nerve to comment as you did considering that you're actually what the thread author (and many in this thread) would consider part of the problem. You take all the 'good' things about appealing to the baser desires of the predominantly male gaming crowd, but then complain about the bad. It's a two-way street, and always will be.

Who are you telling another person what cloth they are gonna use and what is proper? Who are you telling another person how to direct your camera and what not? Its their own freaking choice.  Why does a persons cloth have to do anything with their credibilitiy?  You are part of the issue that the article takes up. Without even knowing it. 

Erm, well if she is being a hypocrite, then it is perfectly in the right of a person to call her out on it. I don't condone the behaviour of some women trying as hard as they can to use their sexual attributes to attract attention and then denigrate men who are attracted to them because of it. Sure doesn't mean that they should insult her of course, but she should accept responsibility for her actions too.

Playing MUDs and MMOs since 1994.

  MurlockDance

Advanced Member

Joined: 6/20/10
Posts: 1219

1/27/13 4:59:26 AM#217
Originally posted by Scot

Is gaming a male arena? You only see what you want to see when it comes to anything.

Take a look at the TV sometime, try to find a scene where a man hits a women, good luck with that. Then try to find a scene where a women hits a man or a man hits a man or a women hits a women; easy peasey.

Take a look at adverts, if there is someone going to be made a joke of, made to look simple, stupid, have a practical joke pulled on them, it is always a guy. The one who does not know doing something a different way is better, it is a guy. The one who gets facepalmed into the floor, a guy.

Take a look at TV scheduling. Cooking, gardening and selling home shows. They are for both genders? I think not. Becoming famous by singing, every mans dream? I think not. Shows about plastic surgery, becoming a top model, dating shows etc etc etc. Have a look at today's TV guide and see how many TV programmes are made for men.

Gaming is an exception and hell you don’t like that! It not all about women, for women and run to your ethos and expectations.

So women have a awfully big slice of the cake from where I am sitting, but then it is all down to perception and seeing what you want to see.

Would I air these views where my identiy is not concealed? No. Because we live in a society where political correctness has made every womens issue a burning news topic or an excepted reality. While mens issues do not exist.

This is an interesting post. I am an advocate for sexual equality across the board and I have wondered about a lot of these things too. However, shutting women gamers out of video games is not the answer. We are not the enemy...

In my case, I just want to play and enjoy myself, and be part of the team, not treated differently because I happen to be part of the 47% of the world population that is not male. I don't insult male gamers for being male, and I want to enjoy myself ingame, not be reminded that I am a piece of s... like in real life.

Playing MUDs and MMOs since 1994.

  Umbrood

Apprentice Member

Joined: 7/09/03
Posts: 1842

1/27/13 8:18:35 AM#218

I am not questioning if the incidents in the article occured, I just never heard of them, nor did I realise this was an issue.

Because honestly, this is geek culture, if there is ANY community that holds women in higher regard then please show me?

Sexism is a real issue, and should be fought everywere, but gaming does not seem to be the frontline to me.

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Jerek_

I wonder if you honestly even believe what you type, or if you live in a made up world of facts.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  Scot

Hard Core Member

Joined: 10/10/03
Posts: 5252

1/27/13 8:28:01 AM#219

I certainly want women in gaming, just don’t expect it to conform to your idea of what’s important in life like the rest of the media has.

As for the insults, we do get insults of all sorts in gaming and online for many reasons. Gaming is pointed at so much because you are communicating with strangers who can say whatever they want. Expecting that to go like a chat at the office is a bit much.

But that is no excuse; I have seen appalling texts in MMO’s which have no place in our games. I could suggest the Chat Filter, but sometimes it goes beyond that, verbal vitriol more than the words used.

I also think this reflects the young age base of many MMO’s. I have heard pre-teens speaking on PS2 who have suddenly realised they should not be speaking as it gives game away about their age. But I would point out that what they were saying was fine.

As the last poster said I don't exactly see gaming as a bastion of sexism, I just see it more as part of the entertainment industry that is not totally pandering to women.

Finally all the women I know who play online are aware of what the OP is saying but that does not stop them playing. That’s the main thing, don’t let the buggers get you down.

  LadyEuphei

Novice Member

Joined: 4/16/12
Posts: 226

1/27/13 8:35:53 AM#220
Originally posted by mymmo
Originally posted by Rednecksith
Originally posted by LadyEuphei

Woooo, I read the article, but I lack the 10 days to read the comments. This is super controversial it seems. I think in general the gaming community is dirt and that there is a small populace of about 20% that are decent people. Just goes to show you that there are alot of pathetic, broken, just plain ignorant people on earth.

As girl gamers the only thing we can do is expect it. I would like it to be fixed, but it wont. Gamers are racist, sexist, belligerent a-holes and you just need to find you niche community with in a game to have fun. 

It is honestly harder to play games as a girl, since all I get is harassed. God forbid someone finds out I am a girl then they go nuts. People that visit my stream are 50% nice people and 50% asking to see tit pics. It is rediculous the amount of scum that exists and festers on the internet. I look at it as this:

All the guys that are picking on people by sex or race are little stupid kids who never got laid, hugged, loved, or even a second look from a female and now they are bitter. I am just sorry for them to be honest. Although either way they get banned. 

Okay... don't take this the wrong way. I do watch your stream from time to time, and enjoy it, but... you really don't have any credibility when it comes to this issue.

  1. Almost every time I see you streaming, you're wearing VERY low-cut shirts which show off your cleavage.
  2. You have your webcam positioned specifically to show off said cleavage. (45 degree angle, camera centered on your chest).
  3. This is the big one... you advertise the fact that you're showing off your cleavage in your video titles. Not all the time, but at least 30% of it. I've actually seen you title your stream, "Everybody loves BOOBS!".
Do I condone those little shitheads who come into your stream and spout their crap? Of course not. But when you are very obviously exploiting your 'attributes' to attract more viewers to your channel (and you can't deny that you are) then you really don't have any right to complain about the fact that you attract an undesirable element. It's like a girl who works at Hooters complaining that the customers are ogling her; well DUH!
 
It takes a lot of nerve to comment as you did considering that you're actually what the thread author (and many in this thread) would consider part of the problem. You take all the 'good' things about appealing to the baser desires of the predominantly male gaming crowd, but then complain about the bad. It's a two-way street, and always will be.

Who are you telling another person what cloth they are gonna use and what is proper? Who are you telling another person how to direct your camera and what not? Its their own freaking choice.  Why does a persons cloth have to do anything with their credibilitiy?  You are part of the issue that the article takes up. Without even knowing it. 

This is the problem with people. I HAVE LARGE CLEAVAGE! I was born with it. I AM SORRY THAT I AM ME! What do you want? I can not hide them and I like my shirts. Just because I am a girl I have to be a nun? This is not hypocrtical.

Please also quote when the last time boobs were in my title. This is an out right lie. I usually say something about kpop and possibly panda's, so you are wrong on this front. People just can not take a joke.

My webcam is on a TV I can not do anything about the angle. 

This is the problem with people. They think everything has another motive. Some times s**t is just what it is. I am a girl. I wear clothes I like, not what you like. and I have a tv which gives a angle to the webcam.

This is exactly the problem because people see women as meat. I am a person and I deserve to feel sexy/happy/whatever I want. 

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