True Colors?  I am not sure there is a single absolute personally that people have. 

If a guy throws himself on a grenade to save his friends, is he a hero? And yet that same guy cheats and lies and has stolen from his friends in the past.  Or the football star who uses woman and acts like he is better than everyone else, but donates large amount of cash and his time to charities without recognition. What are these people's True Color?

I think people are complex and that how each of us perceives someone determines who we think that person is, but we shouldn't necessary believe what we see is all that there is to know about that person.

I don't think that the internet brings out the worst in people. I think for some its just the opposite. In real life I'm sarcastic, have a huge ego, and for lack of a better word at the moment, have an "alpha"-like attitude towards everyone around me.

Online, people tell me I'm kind, talkative, helpful, and completely unlike myself in real life. (Those that know me irl and ingame) Half of my friends PREFER to talk to me ingame or on facebook, etc. because I'm less overbearing.

Not sure why some people tend to get nastier online, but not everyone does. It would be interesting to see if anyone has done any kind of study on this behavior. Why do people like me tend to act nicer online, and some people get nastier?

I think it would be possible to write an entire thesis on the psychology of internet based relationships between people.  From my own point of view, I try and keep my feet on the ground when it comes to people I interact with on line.  I always see them as "temporary" and am cautious in not investing too much time emotionally in them, either because they are equally capable of turning out to be back stabbing Judases, or that the game we're all playing suddenly gets shut down without warning.

Originally posted by apocoluster
   Moral of the story...dont guild  :)

 

^ this; less drama is always good

I've been lucky and for the most part have done rather decently as far as guilds go. My worst bit being I usually cannot bring myself to log into an MMO anymore and sort of disappear. Still, humans can be scum online and offline as this post points out. There are some who're out for themselves, and will use whatever means to advance themselves. I've read stories where people are framed for crimes(such as having kiddy pron on their PC) that the person that put it on there "discovered" simply to get the promotion. I've seen guilds be torn apart because someone was reprimnded for breaking the guild rules and they pulled the guild apart for revenge. It's happened since EQ, where guilds that believed they say, "owned" Plane of Hate, would train and kill another guild "by accident" because they were stealing their "property".

There are several sleezeballs, and these sleezeballs can and will take advantage and destroy really nice(though maybe native) people for their own gain or amusement. Most people are a mix of the two I would say, sometimes doing something selfish at the expense of others, sometimes doing something selfless just because.

Originally posted by Blessings

I don't think that the internet brings out the worst in people. I think for some its just the opposite. In real life I'm sarcastic, have a huge ego, and for lack of a better word at the moment, have an "alpha"-like attitude towards everyone around me.

 

Online, people tell me I'm kind, talkative, helpful, and completely unlike myself in real life. (Those that know me irl and ingame) Half of my friends PREFER to talk to me ingame or on facebook, etc. because I'm less overbearing.

 

Not sure why some people tend to get nastier online, but not everyone does. It would be interesting to see if anyone has done any kind of study on this behavior. Why do people like me tend to act nicer online, and some people get nastier?

It's like Halloween, only easier access. I think it helps people that get sick of themselves. That would facilitate the opposite behavior.

Also, I find this article and responses depressing. I'm a very trusting person. Every one I meet I trust until proven otherwise. Am I aware there are backstabbers and cynical people that would gladly screw me over? Of course. The difference is, I will be in a much better mood than you until it happens. I will continue to see people in a positive light while you are damning them as they walk by. I may be more shocked than some of you when I am betrayed, and it may happen more frequently because of my trusting nature, but I will be happier all the while and I think that's worth it.

Don't let the jerks paint your world view.

The moral of the story is people will do whatever they think they can get away with.

In our society we have let laws get lax and spend more time trying to protect the criminal than the victim and thus crime increases.

Do you ever speed while driving?

What about around a cop car?

I didn't think so.

Let people interact with other without that chance of the other person taking offense and pounding your face in and they will be the jackasses they truely are, because they can get away with it.

I could understand this happening in MMO's or other online games, BUT in real life I could never see this happening. All my friends, we've known each other for at least 10+ years. Even if we've had problems in the past, no one outside of the "main" circle would ever be able to break the friendship bonds between us.

There are ass hats and douche bags in every walk of life, guilds sometimes are ran by them.

Studies actually show that some people can't empathize through a keyboard -- this is to say, that they don't really believe that there is a feeling human being on the other side of the text they are responding to.  

It's not anonymity that makes them jerks, it's the inability to imagine that text has a human author.

There are probably a few sociopaths that are genuinely trolling because of the shield of anonymity, but they are statistically much rarer.  People who have issues with extending empathy through text media are more frequent in all likelihood.

Folks on the autism spectrum (and that includes us geeks with ADD/ADHD -- a *lot* of gamers!) actually have an easier time with empathy through the keyboard because it removes all those confusing body language cues and subtexts that can mess us up.

And geeks in general like contentious engagement -- avoiding small talk and diving into issues -- which can seem like all out war and escalate at a moment's notice.  Hacker culture has been seen as very unfriendly due to this particularly to more traditional womens' culture.

As a woman engineer with 30 years on the net, and the former and founding executive director of the Tor Project (anonymity software) I've been fascinated with online identity and interactivity and specifically online anonymity for quite some years.  

We tend to associate anonymity with "fear of strangers" rather than privacy or pseudonymity (having a handle, like a gamer handle, that identifies us persistently and carries a reputation with it).  A handle can have as intense a reputation as a "real name" if not more so.  When a sales dude calls ytou on the phone to sell you something they may give you a real (sounding?) name, but you might have no way to verify their name or reputation against anything.  "Handles" like rms or esr in the hacker community come with recognition and reputation and credibility (or sometimes notoriety?) that can accrue for decades and make or break careers.

As pro gaming and the popularity of gaming in general spreads the same will be true for gamer handles, for reps in the gamer community, and for the linking of reputation across handles as folks try and perhaps fail to change identity between games and gamer social nets.  It'll be interesting to see this context grow up.

Kind of funny but it was stuff like this that made me change from a guildie group player to a solo'er.

Ive always enjoyed being active in guilds (corps) and I got talked into taking a more active role in a WoW. With people I was close with. And sure enough someones feelings got hurt because they we'rnt getting enough attention and drama ensues.

I personally thought it was so childish (and it is). Its a game, lets all make alts an level them together if that was the issue, hell we'll make it guild event. But no people got butthurt (somehow) and all they wanted to do was run away and take their clique with them.

Happened in WoW a second time, not too long ago. I was active playing the game and doing guild things, to the point where I got volunteered as a GM, which was okay as some of the memebers were RL friends. I make friends easy, ended up close to a lot of the guild memebers that we'rnt RL friends. And when the Guild Leader had to stop playing for an extended time (money issues) I was 100% behind keeping the guild active and running. Although it was something I never really wanted.

Drama insues. RL friend who took over GL role decides to run the guild completley different. Well I stepped in and say they were out of line (privately), and boom the guild fractures. I now have a strained relationship with my friend and feel partly responsible things ended all messed up.

Can you believe that, almost losing a RL friend over a fucking game...stupid shit.

Thats when I decided that I play these games for enjoyment, my enjoyment, and Im going to play them without the drama. Which unfortunalety means thats also without the social aspect. That was about two years ago.

Just recently I tentatively been joining guilds again, but so far two weeks is as long as I can last.

For me its just a game, for a lot of others, its a way of life. I like to keep the two seperate.

*shrug*

My hope is still pinned on WoD, where drama is actually part of the game.

@Scarfe: I don’t believe in white lies. I believe they often do more harm than good. I believe a better response is to just sugar coat the truth. Also, I believe it says a lot about a person who is too afraid to tell the truth and would choose to blatantly lie to your face multiple times.

@Sovrath: It’s beyond just trusting them as friends/guildmates. The whole point wasn’t that they left, it was that they were willing to scheme behind many of our backs, then tried to tear the guild apart.

@Mistmaker: “Welcome to the real world” is likely one of the biggest cop outs for bad human behavior. At least I am speaking out against it and talking about advancing ourselves for the better. Or perhaps shining a more “realistic” light on gaming behavior and how it isn’t far from real life afterall.

@Erictlewis: Many companies are different. In the game industry there are quite a few companies that have families that work there, let alone friends. Don’t agree with it? That’s the company’s problem, I guess.

As for playing solo, lately I’ve had less of an interested in MMORPGs. It seems to be because of the amount of guild drama that comes with running a decent sized guild. Perhaps why I took to playing Dishonored and Assassin’s Creed.

This is like the Jersey Shore of MMORPG.com.  No, this is the Real House Wives. 

Next week on VH1's Behind the MMO.........

i have been in so many guilds where some disgruntled member left to form a new guild often on a pvp server with the intentions of crushing their former guild. My response to this is get a life, no one put a gun to your head and forced you into the first guild if you didn't like how things were going down leave, and if you don't you have no one to blame but yourself.

 A certain amount of drama goes with being in a guild it shouldn't be this way but it often is. I am of the opinion that a fair amount of people online are posturing, that is they are super insecure and hence why they lash out at people so easily. 

 What i would add to this is the trolls, jerks whatever you wanna call them are in the minority , most gamers are not total jerks like some would have you believe, the problem is the jerks get so much attention , from the non-jerk community.

I am not so sure the Internet gets off scot free here.  Anonymity actively corrodes trust.  It doesn't just enable already existing preferences to lie, cheat or steal.

Social relationships are part of the human makeup.  Technology has "virtualized" these connections and it is unclear what the long term impact will be.  

Early indications are that social isolation is on the increase as technology advances.  Young people in particular are becoming more awkward with face-to-face encounters, such as those typically needed for job interviews, since they aren't as used to them.  Oral presentation skills suffer, handwriting skills are going the way of the Dodo, etc.  It is no coincidence that so many MMO are turning into single player games with other people in the background but ultimately social interactions are unnecessary to enjoy the game.

This is being driven by a profit motive.  Less social interactions means less hassle, more of a controlled environment and ultimately less overhead.

Originally posted by Avarix

Originally posted by Blessings

I don't think that the internet brings out the worst in people. I think for some its just the opposite. In real life I'm sarcastic, have a huge ego, and for lack of a better word at the moment, have an "alpha"-like attitude towards everyone around me.

 

Online, people tell me I'm kind, talkative, helpful, and completely unlike myself in real life. (Those that know me irl and ingame) Half of my friends PREFER to talk to me ingame or on facebook, etc. because I'm less overbearing.

 

Not sure why some people tend to get nastier online, but not everyone does. It would be interesting to see if anyone has done any kind of study on this behavior. Why do people like me tend to act nicer online, and some people get nastier?

It's like Halloween, only easier access. I think it helps people that get sick of themselves. That would facilitate the opposite behavior.

Also, I find this article and responses depressing. I'm a very trusting person. Every one I meet I trust until proven otherwise. Am I aware there are backstabbers and cynical people that would gladly screw me over? Of course. The difference is, I will be in a much better mood than you until it happens. I will continue to see people in a positive light while you are damning them as they walk by. I may be more shocked than some of you when I am betrayed, and it may happen more frequently because of my trusting nature, but I will be happier all the while and I think that's worth it.

Don't let the jerks paint your world view.

I'm with this here

I had my share of  backstabbing, drama-inducing-things-which-affect-real life situation before.

As a solo player on WoW and RIFT I too had my share about rage on LFR/LFG/Dungeon Finder, Note: Usually I'm the one who's watching

In Real Life I too had my share on backstabbing at workplace, communities, and stuffs

The fun thing about having seen it all and feels it all I still didn't lose my faith on good-natured humans, yes there are initial rage, distrust, and those denial feelings but I came through

I don't think Internet bring the worse of people although I must also agree that anonimity has a major role on that. It's also one of the major factor when I started my guild on Guild Wars 2 not based on anonimity although some members prefers it, I encourage them to talk on Raidcall or Mumble and many of my guild mates share the same opinion as me. If I can create some 'good' environment while talking about our experiences on 'bad' ones, why not? It's better, at least for me and my guildmates.

One other major factor is competition, a good trigger for guild dramas (and real life dramas too) especially on MMOs with vertical achievements like WoW (Realm First) or PVP-oriented (EVE) I'm a casual player so I won't touch the subject, a non-competitive player like me usually will go to another MMO where I feel comfort with and stay there, kinda hard to do on real life though =))