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The Pub at MMORPG.COM  » How do you deal with gamers with personal problems?

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85 posts found
  Sovrath

Elite Member

Joined: 1/06/05
Posts: 17371

10/10/12 6:49:56 PM#81
Originally posted by Lienhart

Here's a story that relates to this topic and shows that there's at least a BIT of hope:

http://www.zenmoments.org/the-cab-ride-ill-never-forget/

I'll admit that's a wonderful story.

It reminds me of a time, during a busy work day, when I saw an elderly woman slowly making her way to the sidewalk. Only then did I realize she was walking on black ice.

I went to the edge of the large ice patch and asked "excuse me, do you need any help?"

She looked back and practically had tears in her eyes saying "oh yes please, I've gotten myself into a bad situation".

I then held her close to me and very carefully and slowly we made our way out of the ice area.

I suppose one has to take it on a case to case basis. Having said that, my experience in online games is that you end up being a therapist and are constantly sought out so that someone can regurgitate problem #128 with no real intention of heedking any advice.

I think there is a difference between helping someone who has a problem and helping someone "with problems".

How do you know which one and what will you do if you end up being the dumping ground for so much negativity and sadness.

 

  Jaedor

Elite Member

Joined: 8/17/09
Posts: 956

10/10/12 6:55:24 PM#82

On my way to work this morning, I watched a guy at a stoplight get out of his truck and run to the middle of the right-side of the intersection to help a little old lady finish crossing the street. No lie.

Made my month.

  Half_Man_Half_Toon

Apprentice Member

Joined: 4/26/12
Posts: 161

10/10/12 6:56:52 PM#83
If ther positive I will stay I hate problems I like positivity I am a person that is like a sponge if you positive im positive if you negativive I tend to leave it hurts me and most of the time I cant help them everybody has problems specially with this dame economy.
  3-4thElf

Novice Member

Joined: 6/03/12
Posts: 496

10/10/12 6:56:53 PM#84

I'm a social sap.

I share an experience with other humans where they usually use their new free-found anon status to make racial or sexuial comments unsparingly.

If someone hops on, needs to vent. I take it.

a yo ho ho

  Simphanatic

Novice Member

Joined: 9/11/12
Posts: 94

The problem with virtually every MMORPG: too much Pavlov and not enough Maslow.

10/10/12 7:29:14 PM#85
Originally posted by Lienhart

This is culture specific and it plays a large part of the Western "civilized" society. If you selfish shits can't do this in a video game, you sure as hell aren't going to do it in real life.

Here's a story that relates to this topic and shows that there's at least a BIT of hope:

http://www.zenmoments.org/the-cab-ride-ill-never-forget/

First, how is your girlfriend? I hope she was not hurt too badly.

 

Your arguments are specious and wrong.

 

1. Comparing an anonymous internet conversation to rape or bicycle theft, where witnesses fail to render assistance is preposterous.

 

2. You need to check out the misogynistic practices in Middle Eastern cultures, per rape and other crimes against women, before you try to indict the supposed cold heartedness of Western society.

 

I've a strong sense that all those who're slinging mud at those of us who think online games are inappropriate venues for sharing personal issues have little to no experience with it. My own sensitivity towards it has been enured by 12 years of listening to players petty issues (my parents grounded me for getting drunk ... I broke up with my girlfriend), unnecessary overreaction to simple issues (my ear is broken [it was full of wax]), and poor life choices (I got kicked out of school for skipping class). I've heard them all and many more. In the beginning I tried to commisurate and offer advice. Most of the time the recipient of my guidance chose to do something else, which is fine, but if you didn't want to hear what I had to say, why'd you burden me to begin with. At this stage, I really don't want to hear that kind of bilge at all.

 

To be certain, people encounter horrendous issues, like the death of a child or parent; in which case all we can really do is offer sympathy. I've encountered each of these examples, and after offering sincere sympathy, the question also passed through my mind about what the hell they were doing playing a game. When my father died a couple years ago the last thing I wanted to do was play a game, and I certainly didn't want to share my profound grief with a bunch of quasi-strangers. Doing so would have been completely inappropriate.

 

Now, maybe it's also a matter of perspective. As it happens I'm lying here, no feeling or use of anything from the middle of my back on down. For the last year I've been slowly losing motor functions in my arms, hands, and neck. I spent all day Saturday in the hospital because I almost choked to death -- and things are only getting worse. But I don't burden guild mates or other online acquaintences with these details because: (1) there isn't a stinking thing they can do about it, (2) I neither want nor need their pity, and (3) I play MMORPGs because my avatars can do things no longer possible for me personally and the last thing I want to do is remind myself of it by bringing it into my MMORPG worlds.

 

I'm really sorry people encounter personal problems, I wish life was perfect, but it's not. And since that's the case and I can do very little about it except vote, pay my taxes, and donate to charities, I really don't want or need to know how shitty things are beyond what I read in the newspaper or see on TV. Most of us play online games to give ourselves a lift, we don't want to be brought down by people who should be taking their problems to RL friends, family, and appropriate professionals. Again, sorry if that sentiment makes me a cold-hearted biotch, it's just how it is.

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