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The Pub at MMORPG.COM  » How do you deal with gamers with personal problems?

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85 posts found
  Slampig

Hard Core Member

Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 2401

Whatever you do, do NOT speak ill of Asheron's Call 2...

10/08/12 6:17:57 PM#21
Originally posted by Lawlmonster

I think everyone deserves help, regardless if you're face to face, on the phone, or using the internet: that's still a real person on the other end. Compassion doesn't make us weak, either. From my own experiences and tribulations, I can affirm that ventrilo and friends I've known for roughly fifteen years were the reason I sought medical and therapeutic aide, though I probably wouldn't have discussed my problems with strangers. People handle loss and conflict in different ways. Maybe the individual private messaging ol' Death_Luv had no one else to speak with, or couldn't fully confide in someone they already knew? Naturally, they should probably seek appropriate help, and the compassionate response would be to offer some form of comfort or advice.

 

Sure, we've all got problems. No one really wants to spend their free time listening to other people bitch about their issues, but simply being polite, honest, or compassionate toward their situation could make all of the difference, with the added bonus of feeling good about what you've done.

Good luck with that. From the OP and the majority of the posters in this thread I think you can see where these people stand...

That Guild Wars 2 login screen knocked up my wife. Must be the second coming!

  Simphanatic

Novice Member

Joined: 9/11/12
Posts: 94

The problem with virtually every MMORPG: too much Pavlov and not enough Maslow.

10/08/12 6:21:22 PM#22
Originally posted by SuperDonk

To answer the OP, the only thing I can remember that was a personal problem was a guildie that lost his Dad. We all typed our condolences and continued playing.

 

In one the MMOs I played longest, I was a guild leader for well over a year. It's amazing what you learn about 'online' human nature from being in that position.

First, there are really only two kinds of players -- those who give and those who take. The givers volunteer their time and resources to help their guildmates. The takers are never around when you need them, but they're johnny on the spot when a freebee is being handed out.

The most valuable member of any guild is always named Google, he's also the least used member, especially by the takers.

Lazy, freeloading members take up 90% of a guildleader's time, they tend to cause the most drama, and they seldom last long in the game. When they do stay, they'll inevitably be the biggest braggarts at upper levels, and will totally forget all the help the guild gave them on the way up.

To the point of this thread, I will always remember a guild member who sucked the life out of a couple hours one evening when he got on guild chat and whined "my ear is broken and I can't afford a doctor." Several of us told him to clean the wax out with a cotton swab. "I can't do that," he said. We suggested using a bulb syringe and warm water. "Can't do that either." At last we suggested lying with his ear on a heating pad and letting the wax melt naturally, whereupon he returned to saying, "My ear is broken and I can't afford a doctor." Moral: some people don't want help, they only want attention.

In your example, you did the best you could, and probably exactly what was called for. All the time I've played online, I've never know anyone who admitted to being a licensed psychologist, social worker, marriage counselor, guidance counselor, economic advisor, or career counselor. The best and wisest course for most of us when someone comes crying about their lot in life is to nod and move on.

  RefMinor

Novice Member

Joined: 7/16/11
Posts: 3542

Hipster

10/08/12 6:25:50 PM#23
I go to my games annual convention and wait until I am invited to a Q&A session that is being broadcast via a live feed then take the opportunity to call them out by name and mock their issues.
  Suraknar

Novice Member

Joined: 12/26/07
Posts: 813

*Everyone dies, not everyone really fights*

10/08/12 6:27:18 PM#24
Originally posted by Simphanatic
Originally posted by Wizardry

The sad part about MOST of the posts in here is that people care more about games than their fellow man.This is the direction society is moving ,the ME ME and i don't care about anyone else but me.Then people make excuses to justify their stance.

it doesn't matter you are in a game or not,you are dealing with REAL people behind those characters and inside a game made by real people.

People in the old days helped each other,everything from building each others house,to trading food back n forth.Can you imagine if back in those days,you got your house built by neighbours,then when they came in need of help you turned your head and said NOT NOW i am gaming !.

If i heard a person was losing their home,i would try to support them and definitely feel sorry for them,i would not snub my nose at them.How soon people forget when they needed an ear or help.The modern day selfishness amazes me.These low standards for morals,i have even seen by websites including this one [MMORPG.com] i have seen it in many people,then these standards get passed down to their kids until finally we have the lowest form of moral possible,where NOBODY cares about anyone ...period.

The title shows how naive people are,it calls PEOPLE >>>gamers.You think a person is any different because they game or read books or fix cars or go out jogging?people are still people and people with problems are still people in need.

How about you are gaming and hear a car crash in front of your house?Ignore it?What if it was a child hit riding a bike?ignore becuase you are gaming,it is not your concern right?What if the parent of that child came knocking on your door,ignore it ,you are gaming?

 

I understand, and agree with you to a point, except ...

There's a huge difference between the people living next door to me and a pixilated name on my computer screen. Oceans of difference.

When that parent comes knocking on my door, I will likely have seen them around the neighborhood, friend or not I can readily assess whether they mean me harm -- can see their face, gage the inflection in their voice, assess body language. I can also look into the street and quickly determine whether there's actually been an accident. I cannot -- and let repeat that -- I cannot do any of those things by way of a chat screen, even less so if I have little to no previous conversational history with the person.

All kinds of people play online games, and unfortunately the relative anonymity of it too often brings out the worst in people. So, for better or worse, most of us put up a wall that would not ordinarily exist when interacting with people face to face. I've got a kind, trusting heart, but I've been scammed once too often, and over the past 12 years of online gaming, I've certainly endured enough EMOs and drama queens to understand there's a huge cadre of people online who are seeking attention however they can get it.

So, yeah, I'm suspect and not a little chagrined when relative strangers approach me in the context of a game and want to tell me how bad off they are, or as has happened several times, approach me wanting free gear or in-game money because they haven't the time or inclination to earn it themselves.

I donate generously to select charities, will never turn a neighbor or family member from my door, and annually drop a 20 into the red bucket at Christmastime, And, when appropriate, I will listen to others' problems during the course of playing an MMO. But, despite the guilt you're trying puke on us, I do not see it as my duty to play bleeding heart to every stranger who comes crying to my when I'm trying to enjoy a game.

And since you're so easy with your anecdotes, imagine you're sitting in a movie theater with your family when a stranger in the row behind you starts whispering in your ear that he just broke up with his girlfriend. You might feel bad for him, but do you really want to hear a stranger's sob story? No you don't.

While it may seem that this is the case. I do nto agree completelly.

Yes internet anonymity brings the worst out of people, but how bad is it to share a personal situation with someone?

Why would it be considered bad in the first place. The least we can do is empathise I think.

because it did not hurt you or your game or your stats or your raid or your Fun or your escapism that a person shared a personal situation.

 

i reckon we do not have all the details in the example brought on here and we are all assuming more or less, but as a general rule I have not seen anyone going around in a game sharing personal situations to strangers. It is therefore reasonable to think that in this case the OP and that person they spoke with knew eachother to a certain extent, enough for that person to share something of a personal nature.

And under this context the least the OP can do is to empathise, maybe say something to comfort that other peorson or at least show some Consideration. That is all it takes most of the time.

As even the person sharing that information is not expecting anything more, they may just want to get it out to someone they nbeen sharing an experience with, within the game, and not feel completelly lost.

Chances are, that this person having those problems is also in the game to escape from them and get some fun inspite of the sad gravity of their situation to lift their spirits.

So again here is my list,

Social Person:

You would empathise be understanding, depending on your relationship with that other person you can sympathise and even try to help.

Asocial person:

You would ignore, stay silent, keep it game related in hopes they will stop.

Anti-Social person:

You would Break Party, recall somewhere else, change character, put them on ignore list or mute them or change Voice Channel

Asshole/sociopath:

You would Kill them and loot their stuff.

 

Now, you maybe a very social person in RL, this list doe snot necesarilly mean that you are like that everywhere, but you are what you are when you behave in that fashion, it could be only in the game. Becaue of anonimity, you maybe a Social Caring and Considerate person in RL, but when you are in game, you become Asocial.

You make your own conclusions. But I think in this specific case, we should all at least strive to do the right thing and be a bit considerate even if it means we may get delayed a few minutes from reaching our daily virtual gold goal, or aquisition of a virtual peice of equipment a achievent etc...

The argument of, "hey these are but moody pixels and not real people in front of me" works both ways. because you choose to give more importance to an innanimate pice of Virtual Items ofver the Emotions and communiction of a real person talking through their Virtual Moody Pixel representation.

Do not mistake the medium for the the being. Even if we interact with Moody Pixels, beahind them there is a rel person. While behind any of our goals in the game there is innanimate nothingness.

Furthermore, if you choose to play an MMO you should be ready to face these situations, for me, the argument of "I play to escape" simply does not stand here.

If you really want to escape, then why play an MMO?

Don't yu think that a Solo game is much better for escapism? You can immerse yourself in the game and you only have to interact with NPC's only have to work on your own goals, achievements and plans without any distraction from other annoying PC's...

It does not make sence to me to want to espace from other people and then play a game full of people.

- Duke Suraknar -
Order of the Silver Star, OSS


ESKA, Playing MMORPG's since Ultima Online 1997 - Order of the Silver Serpent, Atlantic Shard

  Simphanatic

Novice Member

Joined: 9/11/12
Posts: 94

The problem with virtually every MMORPG: too much Pavlov and not enough Maslow.

10/08/12 6:51:21 PM#25
Originally posted by Suraknar
Originally posted by Simphanatic
Originally posted by Wizardry

The sad part about MOST of the posts in here is that people care more about games than their fellow man.This is the direction society is moving ,the ME ME and i don't care about anyone else but me.Then people make excuses to justify their stance.

it doesn't matter you are in a game or not,you are dealing with REAL people behind those characters and inside a game made by real people.

People in the old days helped each other,everything from building each others house,to trading food back n forth.Can you imagine if back in those days,you got your house built by neighbours,then when they came in need of help you turned your head and said NOT NOW i am gaming !.

If i heard a person was losing their home,i would try to support them and definitely feel sorry for them,i would not snub my nose at them.How soon people forget when they needed an ear or help.The modern day selfishness amazes me.These low standards for morals,i have even seen by websites including this one [MMORPG.com] i have seen it in many people,then these standards get passed down to their kids until finally we have the lowest form of moral possible,where NOBODY cares about anyone ...period.

The title shows how naive people are,it calls PEOPLE >>>gamers.You think a person is any different because they game or read books or fix cars or go out jogging?people are still people and people with problems are still people in need.

How about you are gaming and hear a car crash in front of your house?Ignore it?What if it was a child hit riding a bike?ignore becuase you are gaming,it is not your concern right?What if the parent of that child came knocking on your door,ignore it ,you are gaming?

 

I understand, and agree with you to a point, except ...

There's a huge difference between the people living next door to me and a pixilated name on my computer screen. Oceans of difference.

When that parent comes knocking on my door, I will likely have seen them around the neighborhood, friend or not I can readily assess whether they mean me harm -- can see their face, gage the inflection in their voice, assess body language. I can also look into the street and quickly determine whether there's actually been an accident. I cannot -- and let repeat that -- I cannot do any of those things by way of a chat screen, even less so if I have little to no previous conversational history with the person.

All kinds of people play online games, and unfortunately the relative anonymity of it too often brings out the worst in people. So, for better or worse, most of us put up a wall that would not ordinarily exist when interacting with people face to face. I've got a kind, trusting heart, but I've been scammed once too often, and over the past 12 years of online gaming, I've certainly endured enough EMOs and drama queens to understand there's a huge cadre of people online who are seeking attention however they can get it.

So, yeah, I'm suspect and not a little chagrined when relative strangers approach me in the context of a game and want to tell me how bad off they are, or as has happened several times, approach me wanting free gear or in-game money because they haven't the time or inclination to earn it themselves.

I donate generously to select charities, will never turn a neighbor or family member from my door, and annually drop a 20 into the red bucket at Christmastime, And, when appropriate, I will listen to others' problems during the course of playing an MMO. But, despite the guilt you're trying puke on us, I do not see it as my duty to play bleeding heart to every stranger who comes crying to my when I'm trying to enjoy a game.

And since you're so easy with your anecdotes, imagine you're sitting in a movie theater with your family when a stranger in the row behind you starts whispering in your ear that he just broke up with his girlfriend. You might feel bad for him, but do you really want to hear a stranger's sob story? No you don't.

While it may seem that this is the case. I do nto agree completelly.

Yes internet anonymity brings the worst out of people, but how bad is it to share a personal situation with someone?

Why would it be considered bad in the first place. The least we can do is empathise I think.

because it did not hurt you or your game or your stats or your raid or your Fun or your escapism that a person shared a personal situation.

 

i reckon we do not have all the details in the example brought on here and we are all assuming more or less, but as a general rule I have not seen anyone going around in a game sharing personal situations to strangers. It is therefore reasonable to think that in this case the OP and that person they spoke with knew eachother to a certain extent, enough for that person to share something of a personal nature.

And under this context the least the OP can do is to empathise, maybe say something to comfort that other peorson or at least show some Consideration. That is all it takes most of the time.

As even the person sharing that information is not expecting anything more, they may just want to get it out to someone they nbeen sharing an experience with, within the game, and not feel completelly lost.

Chances are, that this person having those problems is also in the game to escape from them and get some fun inspite of the sad gravity of their situation to lift their spirits.

So again here is my list,

Social Person:

You would empathise be understanding, depending on your relationship with that other person you can sympathise and even try to help.

Asocial person:

You would ignore, stay silent, keep it game related in hopes they will stop.

Anti-Social person:

You would Break Party, recall somewhere else, change character, put them on ignore list or mute them or change Voice Channel

Asshole/sociopath:

You would Kill them and loot their stuff.

 

Now, you maybe a very social person in RL, this list doe snot necesarilly mean that you are like that everywhere, but you are what you are when you behave in that fashion, it could be only in the game. Becaue of anonimity, you maybe a Social Caring and Considerate person in RL, but when you are in game, you become Asocial.

You make your own conclusions. But I think in this specific case, we should all at least strive to do the right thing and be a bit considerate even if it means we may get delayed a few minutes from reaching our daily virtual gold goal, or aquisition of a virtual peice of equipment a achievent etc...

The argument of, "hey these are but moody pixels and not real people in front of me" works both ways. because you choose to give more importance to an innanimate pice of Virtual Items ofver the Emotions and communiction of a real person talking through their Virtual Moody Pixel representation.

Do not mistake the medium for the the being. Even if we interact with Moody Pixels, beahind them there is a rel person. While behind any of our goals in the game there is innanimate nothingness.

Furthermore, if you choose to play an MMO you should be ready to face these situations, for me, the argument of "I play to escape" simply does not stand here.

If you really want to escape, then why play an MMO?

Don't yu think that a Solo game is much better for escapism? You can immerse yourself in the game and you only have to interact with NPC's only have to work on your own goals, achievements and plans without any distraction from other annoying PC's...

It does not make sence to me to want to espace from other people and then play a game full of people.

Well, now, first off I never indicated I'd ever tell anyone GTFO. I don't approach relative strangers with my personal issues in the context of a game, nor do I appreciate them bringing personal issues to me. When it does happen, I will listen, console if appropriate, and will thereupon extricate myself from the conversation. I am not a licensed therapist and, since no one ever imparts full facts, circumstances, or case histories during these kinds of discourses, I am not suited to dispensing advice.

I really really really don't want to sound like a cold-hearted biotch, but there are much more appropriate milieus for dumping your personal problems than an online game with near total strangers.

I frankly think we've all become a little too cavalier in tossing around the term "friend." My definition stems from pre-internet days, when a friend was someone with whom you shared mutual trust, could look in the eye and estimate the depth of loyalty and trustworthiness. These days, a "friend" is anyone with whom you've shared a few truncated paragraphs, acronyms, and a Youtube link. Maybe the cruxt of our disagreement here is in the definition.

  User Deleted
10/08/12 6:51:53 PM#26
Originally posted by Wizardry

The sad part about MOST of the posts in here is that people care more about games than their fellow man.This is the direction society is moving ,the ME ME and i don't care about anyone else but me.Then people make excuses to justify their stance.

it doesn't matter you are in a game or not,you are dealing with REAL people behind those characters and inside a game made by real people.

People in the old days helped each other,everything from building each others house,to trading food back n forth.Can you imagine if back in those days,you got your house built by neighbours,then when they came in need of help you turned your head and said NOT NOW i am gaming !.

If i heard a person was losing their home,i would try to support them and definitely feel sorry for them,i would not snub my nose at them.How soon people forget when they needed an ear or help.The modern day selfishness amazes me.These low standards for morals,i have even seen by websites including this one [MMORPG.com] i have seen it in many people,then these standards get passed down to their kids until finally we have the lowest form of moral possible,where NOBODY cares about anyone ...period.

The title shows how naive people are,it calls PEOPLE >>>gamers.You think a person is any different because they game or read books or fix cars or go out jogging?people are still people and people with problems are still people in need.

How about you are gaming and hear a car crash in front of your house?Ignore it?What if it was a child hit riding a bike?ignore becuase you are gaming,it is not your concern right?What if the parent of that child came knocking on your door,ignore it ,you are gaming?

I hate to break it to you and destroy your world view, but...

 

People have not changed since the dawn of mankind. They've always been and always will be this way. People in the "old days" were no different than in modern times. Things looked different, but people were and always have been, always will be- the same.

There will always be selfish people in the world, and they will always outnumber the selfless people, who will always be in the world as well.

 

The drama, the selfishness, the childish nature of adults, the compassion of the few, the stupidity, the sheep-like nature of humans, the rebellious strength of the few, the good, the bad, the ugly-- all of this has always been the same. Nothing has or ever will change until the death of all mankind. There are no such thing as "the good old days" and morals/values haven't changed in measure of good v. evil.

  User Deleted
10/08/12 6:52:50 PM#27
Originally posted by RefMinor
I go to my games annual convention and wait until I am invited to a Q&A session that is being broadcast via a live feed then take the opportunity to call them out by name and mock their issues.

The maturity of a 41 year old child. Classic Internet.

  User Deleted
10/08/12 7:02:50 PM#28
Originally posted by Simphanatic
Originally posted by SuperDonk

To answer the OP, the only thing I can remember that was a personal problem was a guildie that lost his Dad. We all typed our condolences and continued playing.

The most valuable member of any guild is always named Google, he's also the least used member, especially by the takers.

I hate people like you. You know, the jerks who say "google it" as if that's a real answer.

 

First off, it takes 1-3 seconds to type the answer yourself, but several minutes to google something. Depending on what it is, it actually can take up to 1+ hours to google a real answer, and that might be a crappy or even wrong answer or game strategy.

Second, google isn't as good as people think it is.

Third, google is only as powerful as people who actually socialize and talk. So by telling someone to "google it", especially on a forum or website like yahoo answers, the person is actually failing basic logic due to the fact answers are HOW one eventually comes to being able to "google it".

Fourth, not everyone is good at googling something. Like I said, it takes almost no effort and seconds to type an answer yourself. It takes minutes to hours to google something, and it may not even be correct. And it takes a huge arrogant a-hole to tell someone to "google it".

Fifth, it is anti-social. Not only is it BETTER to get a real answer due to the speed and accessibility (3 seconds compared to 3 minutes or 3 hours) but you're being social by answering the question.

Sixth, most of the time when people say "google it" or mention the power of google, it is because they don't know the answer. Instead of humbly or intelligently saying "I don't know" or even the anti-social Mime Silence response most people give, these types feel the need to exert their know-it-all attitude by claiming to know the answer when they're entirely ignorant of it. The answer is never "google it"... unless the question is "Are you ignorant or stupid?"

 

Everyone already knows about google. Telling them to use it is about as intelligent as telling someone to use their keyboard to type.

I've been playing MMORPG's and video games quite hardcore since before Ultima Online, and when I ask a question I either don't want to google it, don't believe it'll help as much, or it's a waste of my time due to the simplicity and speed of which someone could answer in game.

I think that's my biggest pet peave, besides VOIP. People who think "google it" is an actual answer.

 

If a guild member asks a question, and no one knows the answer, they can all conclude "We don't know." Without any other words or advice, the asker will either google it, ask elsewhere, or not get an answer. If they aren't smart enough to google it (if the answer is on google or easily found on google) then they're so stupid that telling them to "google it" will not help at all. They just won't.

  SabbathSMC

Novice Member

Joined: 1/10/05
Posts: 228

10/08/12 7:05:24 PM#29
Sometimes you being the ear or even adviser is exactly what the person needs. You never know exactly whats going on in a person onlines real life. Its a tricky game to play for sure. I would prolly give the best advice i could fo that sittuation and let it go at that. But thats who i am others i can totaly see them  just cutting them off.

played M59,UO,lineage,EQ,Daoc,Entropia,SWG,Horizons,Lineage2.EQ2,Vangaurd,Irth online, DarkFall,Star Trek
and many others that did not make the cut or i just plain forgetting about.

  Simphanatic

Novice Member

Joined: 9/11/12
Posts: 94

The problem with virtually every MMORPG: too much Pavlov and not enough Maslow.

10/08/12 7:29:02 PM#30
Originally posted by Disatisfied9
Originally posted by Simphanatic

The most valuable member of any guild is always named Google, he's also the least used member, especially by the takers.

I hate people like you. You know, the jerks who say "google it" as if that's a real answer.

And, not to put too fine a point on it, I have no time for people who lack the initiative and resourcefulness to solve life's simplest problems without having their hands held at every turn.

Yeah, I'm judgmental. I'm the kind of person who reads through a game's forum and user guides before I start playing a game. When I have a question, it's definitely easier for me to find an answer via Google (3 minutes tops) than to bother other players with petty questions they've already answered ad nauseum.

I believe new players should be given the tools to succeed, part of that is helping them know where to find answers; so the next time they are stumped and no guildmate is online they know how to handle it.

I most certainly believe that spoonfeeding people only cripples them.

Case in point:

New player asks which mob drops leather. Guild members tell him.

Ten minutes later same player asks which mob drobs a needle and thread. Guild members tell him.

Another ten minutes pass when the new player asks what mobs drop gold darts. Guild members tell him.

And so it continues.

Whereas, had a guildmate given the new member a URL for the games Wiki, the new member would not only know where to look up such items, he'd also discover an entire universe of useful information.

Unlike you, I don't actually hate anyone, but I have absolutely no respect for the intellectually lazy types who haven't the inclination to help themselves. Frankly, they should stay on the Disney site.

 

  Tokken

Advanced Member

Joined: 3/06/04
Posts: 907

"I'm your Huckleberry!"

10/08/12 7:38:49 PM#31

um..,. very carefully. lol

 

BTW everyone HAS personal problems...

UO, EQ, DAoC, SWG, WOW, EQ2, CoH, CoX, VG, Aion, STO, CO, DCUO, LOTRO, Tera, SWTOR, GW2, DP, NW, TSW, MH, DDO, Rift, WS, ESO, Trove, LM

  Beatnik59

Advanced Member

Joined: 11/23/05
Posts: 2235

"Playing things I shouldn''t be playing since 1977."

10/08/12 7:40:05 PM#32

Online players are no substitute for friends and family.  To those who would counter by saying "what if they have no friends or family?," herein is part of the problem.  All too often, we neglect the relationships we should be maintaining (our real ones) to foster relationships we shouldn't be maintaining (our vicarious ones).  And I'm guilty of it too, at times.

When a player "breaks the fourth wall" to reveal aspects about himself or herself to me, it's a sign that the person is taking the game way, waaaayyy too seriously, and needs some time away.  I tend to listen (because I usually have no choice), and say, "you should take a break and talk to someone."  Because, seriously, I'm not a "someone," and neither are any of you.  We are works of fiction in a shared fiction.

All too often, we prefer the game relationships to real relationships.  We prefer game goals to real goals.  We prefer our game lives to our real lives.  But the game is just an illusion.  The "game community" is an illusion.  And the further we start to vest these virtual things with real value, the more sorely disappointed we are.

__________________________
"Its sad when people use religion to feel superior, its even worse to see people using a video game to do it."
--Arcken

"...when it comes to pimping EVE I have little restraints."
--Hellmar, CEO of CCP.

"It's like they took a gun, put it to their nugget sack and pulled the trigger over and over again, each time telling us how great it was that they were shooting themselves in the balls."
--Exar_Kun on SWG's NGE

  User Deleted
10/08/12 8:32:04 PM#33
Originally posted by Simphanatic
Originally posted by Disatisfied9
Originally posted by Simphanatic

The most valuable member of any guild is always named Google, he's also the least used member, especially by the takers.

I hate people like you. You know, the jerks who say "google it" as if that's a real answer.

And, not to put too fine a point on it, I have no time for people who lack the initiative and resourcefulness to solve life's simplest problems without having their hands held at every turn.

Yeah, I'm judgmental. I'm the kind of person who reads through a game's forum and user guides before I start playing a game. When I have a question, it's definitely easier for me to find an answer via Google (3 minutes tops) than to bother other players with petty questions they've already answered ad nauseum.

I believe new players should be given the tools to succeed, part of that is helping them know where to find answers; so the next time they are stumped and no guildmate is online they know how to handle it.

I most certainly believe that spoonfeeding people only cripples them.

Case in point:

New player asks which mob drops leather. Guild members tell him.

Ten minutes later same player asks which mob drobs a needle and thread. Guild members tell him.

Another ten minutes pass when the new player asks what mobs drop gold darts. Guild members tell him.

And so it continues.

Whereas, had a guildmate given the new member a URL for the games Wiki, the new member would not only know where to look up such items, he'd also discover an entire universe of useful information.

Unlike you, I don't actually hate anyone, but I have absolutely no respect for the intellectually lazy types who haven't the inclination to help themselves. Frankly, they should stay on the Disney site.

 

Giving a link to a game's Wiki or a specific website isn't the same know-it-all psuedo-help jerk attitude of those who say "Google it". That's a huge difference.

You can say "Unlike you, I don't actually hate anyone" but your words are irrelevant. Anyone who knows the answer and tells someone to "Google it" are hating on those people. You didn't say "I refer them to a link to a specific website that can provide them with a database for any item/mob drop they may need." No, I didn't talk about that either. This is all about "google it".

 

Once again, no one needs your "help" telling them to "google it". You are not helping anyone by saying "google it". You are not enlightening others. You are not teaching a man to fish. You are telling something to someone who already knows about google, because you lack the actual answer to the question but are so arrogant you can't simply say "I don't know" or stay silent.

The reason I hate people like you are because they are inefficient jerks and mostly it's the arrogance. No one needs you to tell them to "google it". Plenty need the link to a SPECIFIC website to find information on a game, or a link to a database website. They do NOT, however, need a link to google.

 

You have absolutely no respect for anyone. If you can't respect and show kindness and love to a stranger, even one who doesn't "google it" then you don't have respect or love for anyone. I spit on people's integrity who claim to have some when it's not universal. If you don't respect everyone equally, you don't know what respect is. If you don't value all individuals as people equally, you don't value anyone. If you don't love others unconditionally, you have no idea what love is even if you claim you have it for "some people".

Just because "it's the internet dude..." doesn't excuse a change in integrity or moral values. You are who you are, and if you find the need to be a jerk online, you are a jerk in real life too. I've met plenty of people who think they have integrity, but when the @#$# hits the fan, they melt like a child who doesn't know what a value even is.

 

Not to mention that anytime anyone says "Google it" in a snarky tone, it's not just them being an arrogant know-it-all douchebag who knows nothing... they are perpetrating an internet social norm associated with a negative attitude, disrespectful tone, and destructive belief.

If you really wanted to teach someone to fish, you'd answer their question AND give them a link to a SPECIFIC website. If they are a consistent problem and annoy you simply because they are always asking questions and "too lazy" to "google it", I'd check in the mirror. The only person actually being lazy is you. They're being efficient, not lazy.

 

After all, what is more lazy? Someone who wants a split-second answer from a DIRECT knowledgable source on the topic, or someone who KNOWS the answer but refuses to type it out of some bitter, skewed perspective that views them as lazy. I hate to break it to you, but laziness can actually be a sign of intelligence. Intelligent, lazy people invent things like the websites that result when you "google it". It's lazier to build a database from a collective community than to look for a single task answer in-game using solo experimentation or hard work simply to calculate the % chance of a drop or what not...every single time you want an item. (The experiment makes the entire process irrelevant, as you'll find the item you need before you have the information required to complete the experiment.)

The only real lazy person is you. Unless of course, you DON'T know the answer. Then you aren't being lazy, you're being an arrogant know-it-all who refuses to humbly admit "I don't know" and feels the self-righteous need to "educate others" by enlightening them to the use of "google". Once again... no one needs you to tell them about google. The sole fact you think people are that stupid, shows your arrogance (I bet you think you can google REALLY well! 3 minutes max!) not to mention that the fact hovers a dark shadow of curiosity over your claim of "I don't hate anyone."

 

You know what type of people I hate? Unproductive, unrealistic, arrogant, unintelligent, harmful jerks. The types that bring nothing productive into the equation. You know what reveals those types very easily? "Google it." What is productive about telling people about a website EVERYONE knows about? Nothing. If they wanted to google it, they would have.

  Simphanatic

Novice Member

Joined: 9/11/12
Posts: 94

The problem with virtually every MMORPG: too much Pavlov and not enough Maslow.

10/08/12 8:42:29 PM#34
Originally posted by Disatisfied9
...

Wow, you were able to derive all that from this:

"The most valuable member of any guild is always named Google, he's also the least used member, especially by the takers."

Please show me where I ever indicated I'd told someone to "Google it?" Please.

I won't tary off the subject of this thread further by trying to parse that sentence for you.

Do have a very pleasant day and please continue to enjoy your internet expience.

  DarLorkar

Elite Member

Joined: 12/28/07
Posts: 539

10/08/12 9:01:06 PM#35

This:

 

You have absolutely no respect for anyone. If you can't respect and show kindness and love to a stranger, even one who doesn't "google it" then you don't have respect or love for anyone. I spit on people's integrity who claim to have some when it's not universal. If you don't respect everyone equally, you don't know what respect is. If you don't value all individuals as people equally, you don't value anyone. If you don't love others unconditionally, you have no idea what love is even if you claim you have it for "some people".

 

is one of the most idiotic things i have read in a while. Now back on topic:

 

If this was a good friend i am sure we would not be reading about it here. So, if that is so, i would say sorry to hear that and try to move on with the game.  If they persist..then just move on. There are other groups to join.

 

 

 

 

  Opapanax

Novice Member

Joined: 10/29/11
Posts: 983

Most Morbid One

10/08/12 9:17:22 PM#36
Originally posted by Suraknar
Originally posted by Jemcrystal

Lucidia:  "Hi, Guildmate Death_Luv, my name is Lucidia and I'd like to party with you in Wiley Canyon.  Oh, btw, my two-yr-old and I are about to get evicted because we can't pay rent."  

Death_Luv:  "Ah, errr, how bout them Dodgers?"

 

How do you deal with mmo peeps unloading personal baggage in game?

 

 

*[Made up names but the situation is vague copy from a encounter I had yesterday].

 

Depends on who you are yourself.

 

Social Person:

You would empathise be understanding, depending on your relationship with that other person you can sympathise and even try to help.

Asocial person:

You would ignore, stay silent, keep it game related in hopes they will stop.

Anti-Social person:

You would Break Party, recall somewhere else, change character, put them on ignore list or mute them or change Voice Channel

Asshole/sociopath:

You would Kill them and loot their stuff.

 

 Seems legit..

PM before you report at least or you could just block.

  Jemcrystal

Apprentice Member

Joined: 1/02/08
Posts: 1354

Let em put a slave ring thru u're nose u're prob not going to like where they're taking you. Think.

 
OP  10/08/12 9:26:06 PM#37

Sorry, OP here saying "Google it"  isn't on topic.  I'm talking about other gamers in guild or party chat talking about breaking up with husbands, my dad abuses my mom, the kids not behaving, having an exam in the morning and wanting to instead be gaming with us, and my most favorite (not) just how drunk they are!  Getting personal.  

 

Could start another thread about noobs.  Those are the people who ask, "Where's the Black Eye Fish spawn?"  When they could have just looked it up because it's a beginner quest and over 100 guides are avail on it.  As if we guildies have the game's encyclopedia written in our brains.  Not to be confused with an occasional, "Where's ..... spawn," when no info is avail because new game, etc.  Not personal - noobs.

 

To either I want to be polite but I don't want to hand feed them so they'll keep dishing stress.  Seriously, THERE IS NOTHING A GUILDMATE CAN DO TO SAVE YOU FROM LIFE'S PROBLEMS.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6EoRBvdVPQ

  LeegOfChldrn

Apprentice Member

Joined: 10/11/11
Posts: 369

10/08/12 9:38:45 PM#38
Originally posted by Simphanatic
Originally posted by Disatisfied9
...

Wow, you were able to derive all that from this:

"The most valuable member of any guild is always named Google, he's also the least used member, especially by the takers."

Please show me where I ever indicated I'd told someone to "Google it?" Please.

I won't tary off the subject of this thread further by trying to parse that sentence for you.

Do have a very pleasant day and please continue to enjoy your internet expience.

In his defense, he said he hated "people like you, who tell others to "Google it" (paraphrase), not you specifically.

In fact, if you gave links to actual websites, he applauded you.

 

That's what I got from it anyway. I like to read people's posts for what they are, instead of assuming all sorts of things from absolutely nothing.

  Simphanatic

Novice Member

Joined: 9/11/12
Posts: 94

The problem with virtually every MMORPG: too much Pavlov and not enough Maslow.

10/08/12 9:52:33 PM#39
*head desk*
  User Deleted
10/08/12 10:04:32 PM#40

Often times just letting them vent is enough. It's not really any kind of a hassle, just keep your responses appropriate/empathetic.

 

 

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