Originally posted by marcust

My UO tale as Marcus Alberton.

Please note I do not host this site and take no responsibility for it.

http://looter.4t.com/57.htm

Nice! One great thing about UO style MMOs is that they lend themselves well to having individual tales. Here are some tales from various UOers on the Catskills server:

http://themess.com/uotales/

Originally posted by KaitarBesh

Ok, I'm sure this will get deleted like the last bits of criticism from her other articles - some "writers" can't take critism,  but here goes.

 * Lay off the cliche' approach. This was a very predictble and nothing here grabbed the reader. It has nostalgic value for old UO players, but the writing itself is stale, relies on a "story arc" that is -entirely- predictable and not very witty.

* Learn what paragraph and sentence structure are and use it. Your paragraphs are far too long and ramble about several subjects at once. They need to be broken into much more coherent form - state subject of paragraph - write sentences directly related TO that subject - start a new paragraph for the next subject.

* The diary approach is not the best method of writing if you can't pull it off well and with originality. You're doing neither here. Try something else.

* Stop trying so hard to be "cute" in your writing.  It comes across as ditzy and even arrogant via Snooki style.

* Take some writing lessons. READ a book. If you want to write well you need to read more than game review articles. Expand your vocabulary. Stop relying on your looks and "cute" factor to get you a paycheck- it doesn't work in the real writing world. 

I have a BA in Language, Literature, and Writing with an emphasis on Creative Writing. One of the many things I have learned over the years is that writing styles vary significantly from work to work and author to author.

If you want something to read that defies grammar and stretches the limit of the "story arc" then try Cormac McCarthy's book Child of God. This is the same author that wrote All the Pretty Horses, No Country For Old Men, The Road, and more (I name these because they've been turned into movies and are well known). 

The way you described writing sounds more textbook and analytical. There's nothing wrong with that style, but I am not going for that at all. This isn't a research paper. I don't expect everyone to like the way I write and what I write about. Perhaps this just isn't for you =) 

There is absolutely no need to bring up my looks, or make accusations in regards to them, when attempting to justify your opinions.

I don't normally reply to comments that borderline insult me, but I felt there were a lot of assumptions and fallacies in your "feedback" that it wouldn't hurt to set straight. You're certainly entitled to your opinion, even an extremely negative one, and I am certainly entitled to not take it into consideration.

PS - I'd like to clarify that I have never deleted nor modified replies on my columns and videos. I do not have those privs. It may be a good idea, before you go and criticize someone about their lack of knowledge and education, to do a little research of your own ~.^

Originally posted by Pokket

Originally posted by KaitarBesh

Ok, I'm sure this will get deleted like the last bits of criticism from her other articles - some "writers" can't take critism,  but here goes.

 * Lay off the cliche' approach. This was a very predictble and nothing here grabbed the reader. It has nostalgic value for old UO players, but the writing itself is stale, relies on a "story arc" that is -entirely- predictable and not very witty.

* Learn what paragraph and sentence structure are and use it. Your paragraphs are far too long and ramble about several subjects at once. They need to be broken into much more coherent form - state subject of paragraph - write sentences directly related TO that subject - start a new paragraph for the next subject.

* The diary approach is not the best method of writing if you can't pull it off well and with originality. You're doing neither here. Try something else.

* Stop trying so hard to be "cute" in your writing.  It comes across as ditzy and even arrogant via Snooki style.

* Take some writing lessons. READ a book. If you want to write well you need to read more than game review articles. Expand your vocabulary. Stop relying on your looks and "cute" factor to get you a paycheck- it doesn't work in the real writing world. 

I have a BA in Language, Literature, and Writing with an emphasis on Creative Writing. One of the many things I have learned over the years is that writing styles vary significantly from work to work and author to author.

 

If you want something to read that defies grammar and stretches the limit of the "story arc" then try Cormac McCarthy's book Child of God. This is the same author that wrote All the Pretty Horses, No Country For Old Men, The Road, and more (I name these because they've been turned into movies and are well known). 

 

The way you described writing sounds more textbook and analytical. There's nothing wrong with that style, but I am not going for that at all. This isn't a research paper. I don't expect everyone to like the way I write and what I write about. Perhaps this just isn't for you =) 

 

There is absolutely no need to bring up my looks, or make accusations in regards to them, when attempting to justify your opinions.

 

I don't normally reply to comments that borderline insult me, but I felt there were a lot of assumptions and fallacies in your "feedback" that it wouldn't hurt to set straight. You're certainly entitled to your opinion, even an extremely negative one, and I am certainly entitled to not take it into consideration.

 

PS - I'd like to clarify that I have never deleted nor modified replies on my columns and videos. I do not have those privs. It may be a good idea, before you go and criticize someone about their lack of knowledge and education, to do a little research of your own ~.^

 

LMAO now that was a good read =-)

Originally posted by Samhael

Originally posted by KaitarBesh

Ok, I'm sure this will get deleted like the last bits of criticism from her other articles - some "writers" can't take critism,  but here goes.

 

* Lay off the cliche' approach. This was a very predictble and nothing here grabbed the reader. It has nostalgic value for old UO players, but the writing itself is stale, relies on a "story arc" that is -entirely- predictable and not very witty.

* Learn what paragraph and sentence structure are and use it. Your paragraphs are far too long and ramble about several subjects at once. They need to be broken into much more coherent form - state subject of paragraph - write sentences directly related TO that subject - start a new paragraph for the next subject.

* The diary approach is not the best method of writing if you can't pull it off well and with originality. You're doing neither here. Try something else.

* Stop trying so hard to be "cute" in your writing.  It comes across as ditzy and even arrogant via Snooki style.

* Take some writing lessons. READ a book. If you want to write well you need to read more than game review articles. Expand your vocabulary. Stop relying on your looks and "cute" factor to get you a paycheck- it doesn't work in the real writing world.

 

Very well and politely said.

This ^

It doesn't matter if you have a BA or all the schooling in the world. If your customers/readers say they don't like it then you need to improve. You are writing for them no matter what you want to believe otherwise.  It's a job like the food industry. You can say  you are great and gone to culinary school but if the customers are not liking your steak you prepare them they won't be back and your excuse of  "but I went to cooking school so it means I'm great!" doesn't matter a bit to them.

Well seems my posts keep getting deleted again - I give up. Others have said what I was thinking anyway.

[mod edit]

[mod edit]

Originally posted by KaitarBesh

Originally posted by stevebmbsqd

Originally posted by KaitarBesh

Originally posted by stevebmbsqd

Originally posted by KaitarBesh

Well seems my posts keep getting deleted again - I give up. Others have said what I was thinking anyway.

Just because you don't like it doesn't mean that others don't. There were many positive posts about that article. If you really wanted to give her some positive criticism, then you definitely wouldn't have used the tone that you did in your post. You could also try sending her a pm with your criticism, but you and I both know you weren't really trying to help her with your post. You wanted everyone to see what you wrote.

Actually I could care less if anyone reads it or not.  I'm not going to kiss anyone's butt or play nice when I think someone's writing is sub par. If you want to go right on ahead. This was a culmination of her past articles as well as this one, and several people here have said they dislike this one as well.

If she doesn't want to take advice from others, not my problem. And why should I care if others read what I wrote while writing it under an anonymous name on an Internet forum?

Oh, wait. I don't.

*shrug*

It is obvious that you wanted to belittle her. I suppose it is your mission to critique the writing of all the articles that you read on this site and on the internet in general? Maybe you have Pokket's best interests in mind and you want her to succeed? If you don't like someone's writing style then don't read their work. For your information, I am not kissing anyone's butt. I just can't stand people who hide behind their "forum / internet anominity" and post direct attacks and critical comments about people they don't know.

*rolls eyes*

No I don't have her "best interests" in mind - she's a big girl, she needs to learn how the writing industry is.  My real name is Louisa Roubalard. There you go. Now I'm not anonymous.  If she's getting all offended by hard critiques, she'll never last long in the writing industry. Real editors are MUCH harder than I have been with my critique of her style.

 

I really don't give a rat's butt if she makes it or not. I gave tips and a blunt, truthful critique of her poor writing. The tips I gave, regardless of style, are tips most editors have given -me- in the past. As a professional writer, I often give these tips to -any- writer I see online who needs vast improvement. But on a personal note - no, I have no emotional investment or "care" in her or her work. I'm simply passing on valuable knowledge -I- got handed to me in a frank, straight forward manner several times before it hit home. No one said this industry is easy or nice, and I'm generally not a gentle, nice person. That does not make my advice any less valuable for those who want to actually buck up and realize they need to work harder.

 

Others have complained multiple times her writing needs work. But I'm not her babysitter, and if she wants to ignore the critiques, tips and complaints, then well oh well. Eventually her boss(es) will notice and she'll get canned.

 

 

I'm glad you take it upon yourself to critique the world. The world may not be interested in your advice. You are not the world's editor. You are still anonymous because there is no face with your name, and quite frankly you could post any name that you wanted. People want to act big and mean on the internet, but realize that they would get punched in the face if they said what they did in the real world.  If you want any of your "advice" or "criticism" to be taken seriously, you would leave out the personal attacks. You seem intelligent enough to realize that. So, that brings me back to the actual reason you posted this......to belittle her publicly.

[mod edit]

Originally posted by KaitarBesh

Well seems my posts keep getting deleted again - I give up. Others have said what I was thinking anyway.

Whenever a post is edited in any way, we put in a [mod edit] for transparency.  As you see, your posts are there, just empty edits.

Constructive criticism of anything we publish is fine as long as it's polite and on topic. 

I played UO before Trammel and am bad at writing as well. Can I have a job?

All you fathers out there, please raise more gaming girls.

LOL right on Pokket. Any one that played an was a true player knows what shes talking about. *closes eyes* I remember my first solo run into Fel

Originally posted by afropuff420

Originally posted by Theocritus

     UO had some incredible features, but also had tow that completely ruined it for alot of us: FFA PVP and a terrible communtiy..........COmbine FFA PVP with a legion of ganking jerks and you have one terrible game regardless of what other features it offers......For many of us UO wasn't even playable until Trammell came along.

I always get confused when reading things like that. Trammell actually defies what UO was supposed to be. It was supposed to be a world where when you walked out of town it wasn't safe. You had to be smart and use your brain. It wasn't supposed to be a carebear land where you can go wherever you want and nothing will hurt your poor innocent soul. It was a game of consequence, and if you didn't use your head, you would feel the wrath. Those who learned are those who thrived. 

Then the developers heard the cries of the few who could not learn. They created your safe haven so you could run around and frolic in your invincible version of the world. It also destroyed every fun aspect the game had to offer. 

You probably think I was some rampant pk'er. When in fact I was not. My clan and I would have amazing battles against the servers most notorious pks. Sometimes we would win, other times we wouldn't. It was amazing fun, but at least you got your way. 

I never understood what all the whinging was about, avoiding danger and using your brain was half the fun. I used to laugh at the people crying about being corpse camped, why on earth were people carrying anything of any value out in the wild or why would they complain about the PKers in the cemetary outside most towns, it boggles the mind.

I used to do a lot of crafting and rarely ran into any real drama, I also used to roleplay a highwayman and rob innocent travelers on the road, if I had to kill them I would always offer a res afterwards (after I looked through their gear and stole something of value of coarse) and I have so many great memories from that game. I lasted a few months after tram but the game lost it's edge for me sadly so I had to leave.

this and the one about how to pickup women on the internet are all i've seen by Pokket so far.

i enjoyed both though, keep up the entertaining stuffs please!