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Star Wars: The Old Republic

Star Wars: The Old Republic 

General Discussion  » Counting Subs the EA Way - A Parody

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28 posts found
  GrumpyMel2

Hard Core Member

Joined: 3/24/09
Posts: 1484

 
4/25/12 3:52:34 PM#1

John Smith  -   "Ah well, so much for that."

1 Day Passes

E-mail from EA - "Dear Mr. Smith we are pleased to award you a FREE 30 days day time, in advance of our quarterly earnings report. Congratulations on maintaining an ACTIVE TOR subscription. We are pleased to retain you as one of our 1.7 Million LOYAL customers."

 

John Smith  - "Dear EA customer service, thank you for your offer of the free 30 days, but I'm really not interested in continuing to play the game. Perhaps you could pass it along to some-one else who would have more use for it?"

1 Day Passes

E-mail from Thad at EA Customer Service - "Dear Mr. Smith,  thank you for your generousity but it is EA's policy to offer a free 30 days to ALL who have canceled thier accounts in advance of our quarterly earnings report. Remember it costs you NOTHING to maintain your active subscription for the next 30 days. As long as you have the game installed you can login at any time over the next 30 days and enjoy all the EXCITING(tm) new things happening in TOR!  We thank you for remaining a LOYAL customer."

John Smith - "Dear Thad, I appreciate the offer but I'm really NOT interested. In fact, I've already uninstalled the game from my hard drive, so I won't be playing it further and I've instructed my credit card company NOT to process any future payments to EA. So could you PLEASE de-activate my subscription!"

1 Day Passes

E-mail from Thad at EA Customer Service - "Dear Mr. Smith, I'm sorry to hear that you've uninstalled TOR from your computer but having TOR installed on your computer is no longer considered a requirement for maintaining an ACTIVE SUBSCRIPTION by EA. In fact, we are pleased to offer you an EXTRA 2 days credit on your account on top of your 30 free days since at one point you actualy DID have our game installed on your computer. Thank you for your loyalty as a customer and congratulations on maintaining your ACTIVE Subscription to TOR.

2 Days Pass

Jim Brown - "Dear Bioware, I am the Executor for Mr. John Smith. It is my sorrowfull duty to inform you that Mr. Smith has passed away this Tuesday. My records indicate that Mr. Smith had an active subscription to your service. As Executor, I am informing you to cancel that subscription forthwith as Mr. Smith is deceased and will have no further need of it. Thank you.

1 Day Passes

E-mail from Thad at EA Customer Service - "Dear Mr. Brown, at EA we are saddened to hear about the loss of Mr. Smith, he was a loyal customer. I am pleased, however, to inform you that it will NOT be neccesary to cancel Mr. Smiths subscription to TOR. Thanks to a new policy just implimented here at EA, you are no longer required to be a LIVING person in order to maintain an ACTIVE subscription to TOR. So you can insure Mr. Smiths survivors that his subscription is in no danger of lapsing and remains ACTIVE until our next quarterly meeting. Furthermore, I am pleased to inform you that I have been authorized to offer YOU a FREE 30 day buddy key to TOR. So congratulations on your new free 30 day ACTIVE Subscription to TOR. Welcome to the TOR community."

1 Day Passes

Jim Brown - "Dear Thad,  I'm afraid as Executor I have a LEGAL obliogation to close all of Mr Smiths accounts, regardless of whether they are FREE or not. Therefore please close Mr. Smith's account immediately. If you fail to perform such,  I will have no choice but to ask the Probate Court to issue an order REQUIRING you to do so. Thank You."

Thad at EA Customer Service " Jane, it looks like we've got no choice, we're loosing this one.  [mod edit]

7 Days Pass

EA Spokesman at thier Quarterly Meeting  - "... And finally we are pleased to anounce that ACTIVE subscription for our flagship new MMO, TOR, remain steady at 1.7 Million."

  The1ceQueen

Hard Core Member

Joined: 1/02/08
Posts: 1916

"Always borrow money from a pessimist. They won't expect it back."

4/25/12 4:04:03 PM#2

Thanks for the giggles, that's about how it feels when you call to close your account entirely too. I was so dispappointed in the game I called and made sure they wiped it out completely.

What happens when you log off your characters????.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFQhfhnjYMk
Dark Age of Camelot

  PyrateLV

Tipster

Joined: 11/07/08
Posts: 1106

4/25/12 4:09:52 PM#3
Originally posted by GrumpyMel2
Thanks to a new policy just implimented here at EA, you are no longer required to be a LIVING person in order to maintain an ACTIVE subscription to TOR.
 

Tried: EQ2 - AC - EU - HZ - TR - MxO - TTO - WURM - SL - VG:SoH - PotBS - PS - AoC - WAR - DDO - SWTOR
Played: UO - EQ1 - AO - DAoC - NC - CoH/CoV - SWG - WoW - EVE - AA - LotRO - DFO - STO - FE - MO - RIFT
Playing: Skyrim
Following: The Repopulation
I want a Virtual World, not just a Game.
ITS TOO HARD! - Matt Firor (ZeniMax)

  stragen001

Elite Member

Joined: 1/09/09
Posts: 1529

Mr Flibble is VERY cross

4/25/12 4:22:03 PM#4

Thanks for the laugh ;)

Actually prompted me to go check my SWTOR subscription and would you beleive it, apparently I have an active account, despite the fact that I havent paid them anything since 21 Jan 2012 and clicked the cancel subscription button about a week after that.

I have actually sent an email to SWTOR support asking them to deactive my account. LOL

Cluck Cluck, Gibber Gibber, My Old Mans A Mushroom

  JobeArthur

Novice Member

Joined: 11/29/11
Posts: 38

4/30/12 9:10:25 AM#5
LOL good one.
  ShakyMo

Elite Member

Joined: 11/21/11
Posts: 6855

4/30/12 9:17:56 AM#6
Well now we know where those enron guys ended up working
  Tilo

Novice Member

Joined: 4/17/12
Posts: 24

5/01/12 2:43:03 AM#7
Ask Blizzard how they count.
  Dredphyre

Novice Member

Joined: 9/11/10
Posts: 603

fanboi of truth

5/01/12 2:49:32 AM#8

coulda been funny, except the crux of your 'joke' is wildly inaccurate.  BW offered 30 free days AFTER the end of the financial quarter, which ended at the end of March.

 

I know it sucks to be wrong, but there you go...you're wrong. But then to attempt to make a joke out of it...well, that's just...let's put it this way, I'm embarrassed for you.

 

  punkrock

Novice Member

Joined: 10/31/03
Posts: 1786

5/01/12 5:51:39 AM#9
That was a good laugh haha, ok i am going back to play some SWTOR later.

MYSPACE ACCOUNT

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=80721225



Which FF Character Are You?

  Deolus

Apprentice Member

Joined: 5/30/05
Posts: 250

5/01/12 6:02:51 AM#10
Just wondering, did you have to create an account to play in the beta? I think I played about 8hrs tops. Would be funny if they were counting me as an active subscriber.
  RodimusPrime

Novice Member

Joined: 4/13/12
Posts: 117

5/01/12 6:07:38 AM#11
Originally posted by Deolus
Just wondering, did you have to create an account to play in the beta? I think I played about 8hrs tops. Would be funny if they were counting me as an active subscriber.

 No.

  Loke666

Hard Core Member

Joined: 10/29/07
Posts: 15540

5/01/12 6:12:30 AM#12
Originally posted by Tilo
Ask Blizzard how they count.

Activision is walking a thin line when counting Wows subs but EA have them beaten here. Activating peoples accounts to better your numbers is a new low water mark for MMOs.

They need to face the truth, if they want more subs they need to improve the game, not fake the numbers.

  RodimusPrime

Novice Member

Joined: 4/13/12
Posts: 117

5/01/12 8:45:58 AM#13
Originally posted by Loke666
Originally posted by Tilo
Ask Blizzard how they count.

Activision is walking a thin line when counting Wows subs but EA have them beaten here. Activating peoples accounts to better your numbers is a new low water mark for MMOs.

They need to face the truth, if they want more subs they need to improve the game, not fake the numbers.

 Were did they say acitivating their accounts were counted as subscribers?  They clearly defined subscriber in their investor call.

  mikahr

Advanced Member

Joined: 3/30/07
Posts: 1110

5/01/12 10:33:52 AM#14
Originally posted by Loke666
Originally posted by Tilo
Ask Blizzard how they count.

Activision is walking a thin line when counting Wows subs but EA have them beaten here. Activating peoples accounts to better your numbers is a new low water mark for MMOs.

They need to face the truth, if they want more subs they need to improve the game, not fake the numbers.

Activision actually lies about their subs since WoW is not sub based in Asia and they count them as subs.

They officially acknowledged what counts as "sub" in China, its no secret.

Fir those who dont know:

WoW is pay per hour in China, and they count every acount that has paid for at last an hour of playtime in a month as sub.

But EA...as it turns out, they count every account that bought the game as sub if the statements they made are true.

  Greyhooff

Hard Core Member

Joined: 10/08/08
Posts: 681

5/01/12 10:43:49 AM#15
Originally posted by RodimusPrime
Originally posted by Loke666
Originally posted by Tilo
Ask Blizzard how they count.

Activision is walking a thin line when counting Wows subs but EA have them beaten here. Activating peoples accounts to better your numbers is a new low water mark for MMOs.

They need to face the truth, if they want more subs they need to improve the game, not fake the numbers.

 Were did they say acitivating their accounts were counted as subscribers?  They clearly defined subscriber in their investor call.

 

Every single person I know of who played SWTOR has unsubbed. Hundreds across a dozen or so guilds.

Their accounts have all been reactivated with the free month.

EA will count them as full "subscribers".

Fraud to fool shareholders. This is just another marketing exercise for EA.

  RodimusPrime

Novice Member

Joined: 4/13/12
Posts: 117

5/01/12 10:51:43 AM#16
Originally posted by Greyhooff
Originally posted by RodimusPrime
Originally posted by Loke666
Originally posted by Tilo
Ask Blizzard how they count.

Activision is walking a thin line when counting Wows subs but EA have them beaten here. Activating peoples accounts to better your numbers is a new low water mark for MMOs.

They need to face the truth, if they want more subs they need to improve the game, not fake the numbers.

 Were did they say acitivating their accounts were counted as subscribers?  They clearly defined subscriber in their investor call.

 

Every single person I know of who played SWTOR has unsubbed. Hundreds across a dozen or so guilds.

Their accounts have all been reactivated with the free month.

EA will count them as full "subscribers".

Fraud to fool shareholders. This is just another marketing exercise for EA.

 If you read their investor call, they would not be counted.

  ZombieKen

Spotlight Poster

Joined: 3/30/10
Posts: 4019

5/01/12 10:52:08 AM#17
Very well written OP, and quite funny.
  carpatian

Apprentice Member

Joined: 6/09/09
Posts: 40

5/01/12 11:22:21 AM#18
 lol i have canceled my subscription too, and checked like 2 days after my play time expired my account was inactive. now after i read it ur post i checked again and surprise my account is active with 24 days left to play. this is just lol
  dwarfus

Apprentice Member

Joined: 1/30/11
Posts: 74

5/01/12 11:35:25 AM#19
Originally posted by RodimusPrime
Originally posted by Greyhooff
Originally posted by RodimusPrime
Originally posted by Loke666
Originally posted by Tilo
Ask Blizzard how they count.

Activision is walking a thin line when counting Wows subs but EA have them beaten here. Activating peoples accounts to better your numbers is a new low water mark for MMOs.

They need to face the truth, if they want more subs they need to improve the game, not fake the numbers.

 Were did they say acitivating their accounts were counted as subscribers?  They clearly defined subscriber in their investor call.

 

Every single person I know of who played SWTOR has unsubbed. Hundreds across a dozen or so guilds.

Their accounts have all been reactivated with the free month.

EA will count them as full "subscribers".

Fraud to fool shareholders. This is just another marketing exercise for EA.

 If you read their investor call, they would not be counted.

I definitely don't need to look at their investor call to know if they're counting inactive players. Trust me, they're definitely counting inactive players. I am on a previously active server with 2nd best population on the east coast and it is very, very dead today. Over 30 minutes for a warzone queue pop. Less than 40 people on the fleet. Starting today with TERA, and continuing with Diablo 3, and then GW2, this game will definitely feel the pain of under-delivering. 

In other news, SWTOR is going to have server transfers finally in mid-summer. Of course, this is after they promised they had them as a very high priority on Dec 23rd of last year, and then said they would have them in late April or early May. And kicker of it all, the transfers are not free in the face of Tera, Rift and GW2 all having free transfers. 

Still have the same subs. Laughable. Just like their server transfers and the vasy majority of things they keep promising. I was in sales once too and know exactly what's going on here.

  RodimusPrime

Novice Member

Joined: 4/13/12
Posts: 117

5/01/12 11:38:09 AM#20
Originally posted by dwarfus
Originally posted by RodimusPrime
Originally posted by Greyhooff
Originally posted by RodimusPrime
Originally posted by Loke666
Originally posted by Tilo
Ask Blizzard how they count.

Activision is walking a thin line when counting Wows subs but EA have them beaten here. Activating peoples accounts to better your numbers is a new low water mark for MMOs.

They need to face the truth, if they want more subs they need to improve the game, not fake the numbers.

 Were did they say acitivating their accounts were counted as subscribers?  They clearly defined subscriber in their investor call.

 

Every single person I know of who played SWTOR has unsubbed. Hundreds across a dozen or so guilds.

Their accounts have all been reactivated with the free month.

EA will count them as full "subscribers".

Fraud to fool shareholders. This is just another marketing exercise for EA.

 If you read their investor call, they would not be counted.

I definitely don't need to look at their investor call to know if they're counting inactive players. Trust me, they're definitely counting inactive players. I am on a previously active server with 2nd best population on the east coast and it is very, very dead today. Over 30 minutes for a warzone queue pop. Less than 40 people on the fleet. Starting today with TERA, and continuing with Diablo 3, and then GW2, this game will definitely feel the pain of under-delivering. 

In other news, SWTOR is going to have server transfers finally in mid-summer. Of course, this is after they promised they had them as a very high priority on Dec 23rd of last year, and then said they would have them in late April or early May. And kicker of it all, the transfers are not free in the face of Tera, Rift and GW2 all having free transfers. 

Still have the same subs. Laughable. Just like their server transfers and the vasy majority of things they keep promising. I was in sales once too and know exactly what's going on here.

 It's almost 1pm on the east coast. I hope it would be dead since people are working and at school.

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