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The Pub at MMORPG.COM  » Why guys playing girls spook me off

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320 posts found

Advanced Member

Joined: 9/23/04
Posts: 368

3/27/12 7:27:58 AM#21

To be honest, I lack this particular difficulty of separating reality from fantasy. My avatar is not me, it's computer pixels that I choose because I find them pleasing to the eye. It is not some magic cosmic representation of my chi or something. Games are just that, they're not some revelation about my inner being.


Novice Member

Joined: 8/20/07
Posts: 530

3/27/12 7:33:25 AM#22

Not everything is externalizing your own self or looking at someones butt. There are also aesthetic reasons. I happen to find the female figure more beautiful than the male one, and no , i dont identify with it. Its just a game for gods sake. If i want to play a female ne because i think they look nicer thats probably the only reason there is.

I also think Lamborghinis look cool and i dont think i am one... vrooomm vrooommmm


Hard Core Member

Joined: 12/24/04
Posts: 5274

3/27/12 7:34:12 AM#23

Do transvestites playing girls spook you off? How about lesbians playing guys? Transexuals playing dwarves? Homosexuals playing elves? What does it meen to be spooked off?  As far as I know spooked means startled or frightened. Does it frighten you? I'd say the issue is entirely your own.

"Strong and bitter words indicate a weak cause" ~Victor Hugo


Novice Member

Joined: 6/12/06
Posts: 80

3/27/12 7:34:40 AM#24
Originally posted by Emrendil

I see my character as "me" in the game, so being a male and playing a female character feels weird :)

^ This



Steed of Tardcore

Joined: 8/29/08
Posts: 5637

Confident, cocky, lazy, dead.

3/27/12 7:37:20 AM#25
Originally posted by MortisRex

To be honest, I lack this particular difficulty of separating reality from fantasy. My avatar is not me, it's computer pixels that I choose because I find them pleasing to the eye. It is not some magic cosmic representation of my chi or something. Games are just that, they're not some revelation about my inner being.


It's also hard to make the "perfect dream woman / man" in most character editors for me. *insert "Yeah but you are a pony!" joke*

The editors most often won't allow so much tweaking that it even comes close or the basic features which are always the same prevent it. Skyrim for instance; a recent game with pretty realistic graphics; I was really annoyed with the basic face geometry you are condemned to; sure, you can adjust it to some extent but never what I really wanted.


Hard Core Member

Joined: 8/08/03
Posts: 2383

3/27/12 7:37:47 AM#26

Really people that make threads like this spook me.

Play the game the way you ,llike to play and if the person next to you isn't messing up your game then let them play the way they want to play.

Its probably best not to psycho analyze why people may like to play differently then you. So many people here think theres only one way to do things and if its not the way they do it its wrong.


Advanced Member

Joined: 8/25/11
Posts: 479

3/27/12 7:40:48 AM#27
You really need to distinguish between playing out a fantasy and playing out your fantasy, even when it is not a sexual fantasy per say.
Personally i play both sexes in most MMO's depending on the general ascetics and appeal (non sexual) of the class, sex, etc.
If i don't like how armor looks on a male orc i don't have any issues playing a female one, at least in WoW over the past 9+ years I've played just about every race and every sex of it depending on what felt like it at the time.
I don't quite get sexual attraction to characters not because they are not real but because most of them can't be in any way related too in a sexual manner, they don't look real, and they usually don't look attractive not even in the most realistic games since they drop straight into the uncanny valley for me.
Heck even in games like mass effect when they are basically copying real life people like miranda but even then when i look at her i see the actress not the pixels...
In WoW i had princcess my male orc which i've used to run around with in a wedding dress, not becasue of any sexual related issues of secret fantasys of crossdressings but becasue i was rollfing my arse off while drinking beers and planing the weekend raid.. When i played my female nelf hunterss i've also had no sexual toughts like damn her ass looks good in those pants, the only time i had any tought about her ass is when i was standing in fire and it was burning :P
About being "spooked" well that's your own personal experience, and yes the fact that you are gay matters here, gay and straight men and women process sexual stimuli in different ways.
And that has been proven in countless medical and psychological studies. Men don't objectify and sexualize everything because their pigs or because society told them so but because their brains are basically wired to do so.
Females on the other hand process sexual stimuli differently, its mostly apparent when you are looking at sexual deviations and fetishes.
Females will be very hard presses do associate a man's whole leg, foot, or a thigh with sexual content to men on the other hand that's almost like 2nd nature. You also will be hard pressed to find a woman staring at a men's chest no matter how long did he spent time at the gym beefing himself up.
When gay males and females were studied in relation to sexual stimuli they've found quite intresting results, some gay men and gay women proccess sexual stimuli like their hetrosexual counterparts, but thats a fairly low percentage, the 2 main deviations were found to be that homesexuals tend to proccess sexual stimuli in a manner simmilar to the way their hetrosexual counterpars from the opposite sex do, while many others were litterly fighting over how they should proccess sexual stimuli and there were very intersting neuron simulations from those MRI, and EEG scans that who litteral race conditions going on in your brain(thats allmost as good as porn for software engineers :P) which usually express it self with "irry" "spooky" or "confused" feelings.

And if we go back again to reality there's also a more simpler expnlation to all of this in which most people that play RPG's and MMO's dont give a flying fuck about the char(in a rolyplaying mannter), they do it for the fun and the story, i really don't care if i play a male or human shepard, heck in ME3 playing the male one doesnt even stop kaiden from comming on to you which was basically the only advantage at the time(no offense :)).

When i play WoW i dont play for the personal story(thats somthing that actually bugged me in TOR), i play for the fun of it being in a group with friends lauhging and telling jokes over vent, and killnig stuff for brag rights. This isn't a book, this isnt some really creepy JRPG like persona, its a western MMO :P
Somtimes a shoe is just a shoe, and while i respect that you need to be able to pour yourself into a char, you need to understand that the vast majority of today's MMO players are not like that.

Advanced Member

Joined: 3/12/09
Posts: 900

3/27/12 7:41:51 AM#28

I have never understood why this always comes up as an issue. OP, I can see your points and empathize but I really think you need to unpick the "creepy!" and the "it just feels weird" a bit more. it sounds as if you have some undelying issues.

In the end it's all just art to me. My main in ToR is a female. My seconds alt was male, my third female, my forth male...You get the picture? Sometimes I want variety.

As for playing aspects of my personality, I confess that rolling females appeals very much to the more feminine side of my nature and I can be very feminine. I have no problem with that as my wife can be very masculine at times and we get like a house on fire.

When I roll males, I have to confess that i go for broad shoulders and beefy thighs. Is it my ideal? Maybe but sometimes I just feel that the story I have in my head needs a guy. I have Sister Zealot and Brother Grifter bickering in my skull and it's a coin toss as to which one comes out on top.

I realize that my post is a rambling mess and I guess what I'm trying to say is that there are many reasons why I may choose a particular sex to play ( I won't use gender because sex and gender are different things to me). I can say categorically that my choices have nothing to do with how others may react to my choice of avatar. Maybe it's because I grew up with a distinct lack of sex roles or maby it's from living in Woodstock during my childhood. How you expressed your sex and gender was a bit of a non-issue. I have come to realize that for many digital males this can cause confusion and angst. It can lead to them feeling creeped out or weird. While this is regrettable for a variety of reasons, it really is their problem and not mine.

There is NO miracle patch.

95% of what you see in beta won't change by launch.

Hope is not a stategy.
"This kind of topic is like one of those little cartoon boxes held up by a stick on a string, with a piece of meat under it. In other words, bait."


Novice Member

Joined: 12/10/08
Posts: 2586

3/27/12 7:42:47 AM#29

There are two reasons for me:

  1. Aesthetics - females are pretty and I like looking at them.  I don't find anything about male figures remotely interesting to look at, from the front or the back.  Even when I was younger and developing my drawing talent, I would always prefer to be drawing female forms rather than male.  They were also much more challenging to me.  For men, just throw a bunch of angles at the sheet.  How they fit together wasn't that important.  But getting those curves just right took a lot of practice, but it was practice I really enjoyed.
  2. Emotional investment - it sounds odd but I lose interest in my male characters quickly.  I just stop caring whether they live or die or how well they succeed.  I'm always a lot more attached to my female characters because I want to see them doing well.  I react the same way to fiction featuring a female heroine, like The Fifth Element, La Femme Nikita and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  I love that stuff because they feature great female characters.  My gaming bias is an extension of this.


  User Deleted
3/27/12 7:43:39 AM#30

I play both genders in MMOs, typically I have female casters simply because they tend to look better in cloth armor. Guys running around in dresses and robes creep me out. Lets be honest, they look like pedos.

My fighters are always male, because I think they look better in plate armor than females.

Rogues / scouts for me can go either way, depending on who looks better in chain / leather. Although I tend to have female assassins and male rangers.


I dont play games as a dating site, and being completely honest I find people that expect female avatars to be female players to be rediculously creepy. Go meet a real woman if you want to get a date.

In many guilds I have known female players who use male avatars. They are 'role playing' games. You arent making copies of yourself, you are playing a role.


Spotlight Poster

Joined: 2/09/06
Posts: 8156

“No path is darker then when your eyes are shut.” -Flemeth

OP  3/27/12 7:47:20 AM#31
Originally posted by Sovrath

I think you are assumming that a male with a female avatar is playing a "love interest".

For me, I primarily play males if they look good as I feel a closer kinship toward a male character as it feels  more of a representatoin of "me" in the game.

If I like what the female characters look like and if I think they are better than the male characters, I'll play a female. However, for me, since I don't feel the connection the same way, it is more like actually watching a separate character or person.

Because it's a role playing game, I imagine what a female character might do differently from a male character, how they would be perceived depending on the class, etc.

For me, a female character is like watching someone else's journey, maybe even the affinity of what one might have for a daughter or more aptly a sister or female cousin. Or just a woman in the world, so to speak.

When I see threads like this I usually think that the op is taking his/her own conceptions and believing that they are universal. It really is a personal thing and I don't really judge another for playing a character no matter what their reasons.


Ah, yes, I can relate to that "spectator mode". I know in "Witcher" games, I felt that way with Geralt. He was way off anything I could relate to, so I always felt like the "invisible old friend following him". Hm. Still, why would someone make such a distant char on purpose in a MMO? Or maybe some  people prefer to be more detached? It's why I never could "play evil", I just can't detach myself without losing interest in a game.


Originally posted by Kyleran

Now they are just figurines that I manipulate on the playing field, not personifications of me in any way.  In fact, I interact so seldom with players in MMO's anymore no one even knows what my avatar is or whether I'm actually a female or not.

Take SWTOR for example, if they didn't hear me on vent they'd never know what my gender was.  And on vent I go by a more standard male name whereas I can have 3 alts, some male, some female.  In game, except for random drive by's only a handful of people have actually seen my avatar in game. (Remember the old days when guilds would actually all gather in the same place in the game world for a guild meeting?, Now it's all just vent chats and the like)

+++ snip+++

Ah yes, that is a development I greatly bemoan too. :( People are way too Vent/TS focussed and way too less ingame meet and greet. Sigh. (Sidenote: don't be mad at me, but for a long time I thought you were a girl. You have more understanding responses... and you have cat as icon! XD)


If I read the statements here, it seems as if the male avatars look in a way bad to many players. A notion I can agree to. It seems too many MMOs have either just "buffed up Schwarzeneggers", like all those horrible, horrible WOW males with their arms like a tree. Even a supposed skinny mage or rogue has super thick arms! Terribad. Or they look so damn feminine, like the typical Asia Elfs. Both are extremes I do not like, but if that makes a lot of male gamers play female chars, I assume something in the design philosophy of MMO devs is very, very wrong. Something they should maybe think about. It is true that usually more "love" went into the details of female looks in games.

Hm, interesting insight. I wish developers would read more what players say, heh.

People don't ask questions to get answers - they ask questions to show how smart they are. - Dogbert


Novice Member

Joined: 3/14/09
Posts: 6125

LARPer Hunter

3/27/12 7:48:54 AM#32

I think that most people need to realize that Players like myself are *not* our characters. I am Robert Downey Jr.; a dude playing a dude, playing another dude... playing a chick.

Also figure on a game with multiple classes and emphasis on maintaining alts. How many "you"s can you make for that? At some point, people adhere aesthetics to the underlying theme of the class itself. Some are more fitting to being female, unless it's one that drives or earns more than other classes.

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Novice Member

Joined: 12/20/11
Posts: 29

3/27/12 7:51:49 AM#33

Reasons a guy would play a female char online:


- Wanting to look at that hot pixelated ass.

- Many people (younger people) think it is gay to look at a male character infront of their friends when there is a hot female char with barely any clothing possible to pick.

- Many guys wonder how life would be if they were female and they will choose and ACT like a girl in the virtual worlds. Some even get a fake webcam or a program that changes their voice to a female one.

- Many people find it awesome to create a cute girl and having them walk around with huge ass blades.

- Roleplay I used to roleplay myself (the time mmorpgs actually were any good) and its fun to do diffrent things.


I am a guy i play male and female characters and when asked i always say im a guy. i play

If you are completing a quest and you see this hot pixelated girl talking to you and you think SCORE!! always remember MMORPG: Many Men Online Role Playing Girls.


I dont care what people do in a mmorpg if a 40 year old would want to play like hes a 12 year old girl and he does not harm anyone with it id say let him. ITS A GAME a virtual world full of fantasies and these fantasy games drive the fantasy of a human being.




Apprentice Member

Joined: 10/03/06
Posts: 2725

Life Liberty and the Pursuit of those that would threaten It

3/27/12 7:52:02 AM#34

Humm, I had better pass on this one, I get into trouble with the Mods here all the time by giving an honnest opion on some things. Im almost to the point that i think im some how flaged and here recently noticed some of my post being deleted but no warning given. If i really hit a nerve im given a 2 week time out. Im gonna think on how i want to state the obvious answer here.


Hard Core Member

Joined: 11/07/11
Posts: 1033

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3/27/12 7:53:13 AM#35

I like to make each character it's own really. I usually have an idea of what I want a character to 'feel' like rather than an exact idea of what they look like. While I generally prefer female characters there are some characters I have made in the past that couldn't possibly be female simply because it didn't sit right creatively.

That and most male characters are either too poncy or meaty.

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OP  3/27/12 7:53:38 AM#36
Originally posted by GTwander

I think that most people need to realize that Players like myself are *not* our characters. I am Robert Downey Jr.; a dude playing a dude, playing another dude... playing a chick.

Also figure on a game with multiple classes and emphasis on maintaining alts. How many "you"s can you make for that? At some point, people adhere aesthetics to the underlying theme of the class itself. Some are more fitting to being female, unless it's one that drives or earns more than other classes.

Well if you say so, I assume it is so. But for me that is incomprehensible. I can't understand playing a game character that is not "some sort of me" or "some sort of buddy whose adventures I follow over the shoulder". All MMO chars I create and play for real are always aspects of me. I can't imagine for the world how I would be motivated otherwise. Hmm. I would lose interest in no time if it were just "made up something".

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3/27/12 7:55:06 AM#37

I play a male toon because this is not a romantic princess picnic. This is a manly picnic. No glasses. No napkins. Whiskey only. And pretzels. Oh, and... women are terrible at stabbing things. It's all part of the vast feminist conspiracy....



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3/27/12 7:56:13 AM#38

I sometimes ask males why they play female toons and usually the answer is I would rather look at my female character rather than a male while I play.


I always get them with this statement though much to my amusement.


So if that's the case did you play with Barbie dolls instead of G.I. Joe?


So yes I find males playing females a little off. Although I could understand a male playing a female in a scam situation to play up the poor helpless female used to gain trust and bring out the chivalrous nature of males to help females - good example "EvE".


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3/27/12 7:57:43 AM#39
Originally posted by Elikal

Well if you say so, I assume it is so. But for me that is incomprehensible. I can't understand playing a game character that is not "some sort of me"...

I know a lot of victims of predatory loans (read: psychology students) that would suggest you have some kind of narcissism issue then.



Most would say they had G.I.Joes, but would have switched to Barbies if they were still playing with dolls by the time they took an interest in tits.

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3/27/12 8:03:30 AM#40

I have never and will never play a female character. Call me a homophobe if you want, but I think it is just plain wrong to do it. Besides, I have a son and I would never want him to think his dad was some cross dresser wannabe.

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