I dunno why would anyone take your review seriously. For me it was a fun read! :D

Graphics & Gameplay:

Designed for the consoles and Bethesda made no real attempt to utilise what modern PC's are capable of; hence some of the first mods available are graphics upgrades so your first point should have been 'could have done better'.

Interface is again designed for consoles making it cumbersome on the PC and needing to stop the game and enter a menu just to change which spell you want to cast should have been left behind long ago; someone should tell Bethesda that the PC CAN actually use hotkeys. 

Companions:

Are you serious about this being the most advanved AI created?  An AI that is incapable of stepping up onto anything more than a few inches high or hopping across a two foot gap?  OMG the master just hopped over a two foot gap; I know, I'll take the three mile roundabout route and run into just about everything dangerous that happens to be on the way.  I have stopped using the companions because frankly they are dumber than your average rock.  The companion AI in Mass Efeect or Dragon Age is a hundred times better than Skyrim.

Dragons:

Oh yeah! you mean those flying newts that conveniently show up everytime you need a dragon soul.  Those lizards that in one fell swoop manage to completely destroy the perception that Dragons are actually mean and dangerous mother F****ers that should have you crapping your collective pants?  I stood there and watched one dragon get it's ass kicked by an ice troll ffs.  Even the big bad dragon Alduin aint all that big or bad to be honest; unless of course you hit one of the major bugs in the game that prevents him from taking damage, good job on that one Bethesda.

Skyrim is a decent game that treated the PC conversion as an afterthought.  There are plot holes, bugs & errors aplenty which if Bethesdas track record is anything to go by will be fixed by the modders before the devs ever get around to it.

I love your satirical stuff mate but honestly, leave the reviews to the reviewers; at least we know that they get paid to give glowing reviews.

Originally posted by MarlonB

You guys do know you can gear up the companion, right? :) The companion that you can pick up in Riften is a mage .. he's pretty usefull.

My biggest gripe with them ... they always go stand in doorways and block your path!!

I used the barrels outside the blacksmith in Whiterun to store my ore's (100's) and dragon bones and scales ... been doing that for days. Yesterday i got there ... and the barrels have somehow reset .. it had 2 apples :(

And i love the ragdoll effects!! ... i've had half an hour fun just dragging along and piling corpses :P

Also received the beta invite for SWTOR this weekend ... threw it away !

 

 

why in the world would you store all your ore and dragon bones and such in a barrel by the forge?! hahahaha!!

you know the blacksmith probably went to put something in it and was like OH SHIT!? JACKPOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! then threw in a few apples so you could have a snack while you kick yourself

Originally posted by eric1000

Graphics & Gameplay:

Designed for the consoles and Bethesda made no real attempt to utilise what modern PC's are capable of; hence some of the first mods available are graphics upgrades so your first point should have been 'could have done better'.

 

Interface is again designed for consoles making it cumbersome on the PC and needing to stop the game and enter a menu just to change which spell you want to cast should have been left behind long ago; someone should tell Bethesda that the PC CAN actually use hotkeys. 

 

Companions:

Are you serious about this being the most advanved AI created?  An AI that is incapable of stepping up onto anything more than a few inches high or hopping across a two foot gap?  OMG the master just hopped over a two foot gap; I know, I'll take the three mile roundabout route and run into just about everything dangerous that happens to be on the way.  I have stopped using the companions because frankly they are dumber than your average rock.  The companion AI in Mass Efeect or Dragon Age is a hundred times better than Skyrim.

 

Dragons:

Oh yeah! you mean those flying newts that conveniently show up everytime you need a dragon soul.  Those lizards that in one fell swoop manage to completely destroy the perception that Dragons are actually mean and dangerous mother F****ers that should have you crapping your collective pants?  I stood there and watched one dragon get it's ass kicked by an ice troll ffs.  Even the big bad dragon Alduin aint all that big or bad to be honest; unless of course you hit one of the major bugs in the game that prevents him from taking damage, good job on that one Bethesda.

 

Skyrim is a decent game that treated the PC conversion as an afterthought.  There are plot holes, bugs & errors aplenty which if Bethesdas track record is anything to go by will be fixed by the modders before the devs ever get around to it.

 

I love your satirical stuff mate but honestly, leave the reviews to the reviewers; at least we know that they get paid to give glowing reviews.

Oblivion - PC had hotkeys, not sure why Skyrim doesnt.  Kind of bugs me too.  Not much of the rest bothers me too much though.  The Companion AI is horrid, but they are good at carrying stuff, so not a big deal.  And while Bethesda didnt put much work into making it advanced, the game still looks great to me on Ultra, but I will certainly get the graphics mods when they are finished.  But after Update 1 the UI is a little better.  But I used the keyboard version for so long that I'm used to it.

Originally posted by MarlonB

You guys do know you can gear up the companion, right? :) The companion that you can pick up in Riften is a mage .. he's pretty usefull.

My biggest gripe with them ... they always go stand in doorways and block your path!!

I used the barrels outside the blacksmith in Whiterun to store my ore's (100's) and dragon bones and scales ... been doing that for days. Yesterday i got there ... and the barrels have somehow reset .. it had 2 apples :(

And i love the ragdoll effects!! ... i've had half an hour fun just dragging along and piling corpses :P

Also received the beta invite for SWTOR this weekend ... threw it away !

All external containers will reset.  I know the developers had said that in an interview some time ago.  I also saw it once as a quick tip during a loading screen in game.  

The only place to store items permanently is inside your house as well as the containers therein.  It is sad to learn the hard way though :(

I also got my SW beta invite this past weekend.  Baaaaad timing :/  I can't see myself using it atm.  I just wouldn't be able to get into the game with Skyrim on my mind!

Originally posted by WhiteLantern

You, sir, have just made the most compelling of arguments for me to pick up this game; even though I couldn't get into Morrowind or Oblivion

 

I have never been able to get into Bethesda games. Bought Skyrim, I've played 60+ hours and am loving every minute of it.

Absolutely positively one of the best reviews ive ever read on this website. Check my history, i dont praise you guys very often. I like this guy and hope you increase his pay and would really enjoy more of his humorous yet accurate reviews in the future.

Please!

This post will be so far down the list i doubt any management will even read my request:(

Originally posted by tristanryan

Absolutely positively one of the best reviews ive ever read on this website. Check my history, i dont praise you guys very often. I like this guy and hope you increase his pay and would really enjoy more of his humorous yet accurate reviews in the future.

 

The biggest loser today is Battlefield 3. Not because it's bad. On the contrary, it's friggin' good.

But it doesn't even come close to Skyrim.

Sorry Battlefield 3, you'll just have to wait until I finishi Skyr.... oooh what's that? A new mod? I GOTTA start over with this one.

Originally posted by Complication

you know the blacksmith probably went to put something in it and was like OH SHIT!? JACKPOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! then threw in a few apples so you could have a snack while you kick yourself

Almost pissed my pants laughing here. And I'm at work god damn it!

I have to say I'm pleased Skyrim is getting so much praise, it really deserves it. I played Morrowind, was ok but never finished it, Oblivion was better but again i lost interest after a while, Fallout was excellent, played it to the end, fall out new vegas was ok but again lost interest half way through, Skyrim on the otherhand has not become tedious or repetative, I keep trying to stick to a specific quest but it takes me hours upon hours to actually get to the destinations because of the hundreds of caves,huts,houses,forts, sunken ships, mines, towns etc etc. So much to do so little time!

Originally posted by yorkforce

I have to say I'm pleased Skyrim is getting so much praise, it really deserves it. I played Morrowind, was ok but never finished it, Oblivion was better but again i lost interest after a while, Fallout was excellent, played it to the end, fall out new vegas was ok but again lost interest half way through, Skyrim on the otherhand has not become tedious or repetative, I keep trying to stick to a specific quest but it takes me hours upon hours to actually get to the destinations because of the hundreds of caves,huts,houses,forts, sunken ships, mines, towns etc etc. So much to do so little time!

 

 no reason to ever mention New Vegas. Bethesda did not develop it. Obsidian is the company to blame for that travesty.

developer.

publisher.

these are not the same thing.

Originally posted by Luxumaru
I play Skyrim on my PC and I have zero issues navigating the UI. I find to be an improvement over Oblivion's since I always wished I could use my keyboard to mange inventory, skills, etc. I also have yet to see any of these terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-bugs people complain about.

 i agree that using keyboard for UI is a huge improvement. it makes up for how sketchy the mouse is in the interface, imo.

sadly, for the bugs, i found a couple when my wife started playing it.

the first dungeon in the main quest, with the theif in the spiderwebs. when she tried to go throguh the door to the room with the theif and huge spider, it would not let her pass. i had to open console for her and type 'TCL' to remove collision, so she could get through. then the theif had no spiderwebs around him. he was just floating in the air. i felt bad, because i wanted my wife to have a great experience. luckily, it all worked out, and the bug had little effect on how much she is enjoying herself.

the only bug i have seen in my own game? a couple trees floating a few feet off the ground. i've crashed only 3 times. thats about it.

Originally posted by DKKOberon

title is 'briefest of reviews', author states reviews ain't his thing, comedy is.....and still they can't just read what is written but see what they want to criticize for that superior feeling they get....oh orgasmic......

critics get a life and just enjoy the article.

 

 just because Coyote says his articles are about 'humor' does not all of the sudden make him funny. i laugh at posters ALL the time on this site, when they make funny comments.

this guy is nearly incapable of making me laugh. he just isn't funny. his poor attempts at humor can not be blamed on the reader....

Originally posted by marinrider

Originally posted by eric1000

Graphics & Gameplay:

Designed for the consoles and Bethesda made no real attempt to utilise what modern PC's are capable of; hence some of the first mods available are graphics upgrades so your first point should have been 'could have done better'.

 

Interface is again designed for consoles making it cumbersome on the PC and needing to stop the game and enter a menu just to change which spell you want to cast should have been left behind long ago; someone should tell Bethesda that the PC CAN actually use hotkeys. 

 

Companions:

Are you serious about this being the most advanved AI created?  An AI that is incapable of stepping up onto anything more than a few inches high or hopping across a two foot gap?  OMG the master just hopped over a two foot gap; I know, I'll take the three mile roundabout route and run into just about everything dangerous that happens to be on the way.  I have stopped using the companions because frankly they are dumber than your average rock.  The companion AI in Mass Efeect or Dragon Age is a hundred times better than Skyrim.

 

Dragons:

Oh yeah! you mean those flying newts that conveniently show up everytime you need a dragon soul.  Those lizards that in one fell swoop manage to completely destroy the perception that Dragons are actually mean and dangerous mother F****ers that should have you crapping your collective pants?  I stood there and watched one dragon get it's ass kicked by an ice troll ffs.  Even the big bad dragon Alduin aint all that big or bad to be honest; unless of course you hit one of the major bugs in the game that prevents him from taking damage, good job on that one Bethesda.

 

Skyrim is a decent game that treated the PC conversion as an afterthought.  There are plot holes, bugs & errors aplenty which if Bethesdas track record is anything to go by will be fixed by the modders before the devs ever get around to it.

 

I love your satirical stuff mate but honestly, leave the reviews to the reviewers; at least we know that they get paid to give glowing reviews.

Oblivion - PC had hotkeys, not sure why Skyrim doesnt.  Kind of bugs me too.  Not much of the rest bothers me too much though.  The Companion AI is horrid, but they are good at carrying stuff, so not a big deal.  And while Bethesda didnt put much work into making it advanced, the game still looks great to me on Ultra, but I will certainly get the graphics mods when they are finished.  But after Update 1 the UI is a little better.  But I used the keyboard version for so long that I'm used to it.

Skyrim has the same 1-8 hotkeys that Oblivion had.

open favorites menu, hit 1-8 over what you want hotkeyed.  that item/spell is now hotkeyed to whatever number you hit, as long as it is 1-8.

First, great umm... "review" lol.

Seriously, it was a fun read and has your usual humor in it, which is always fun. Women's breasts really do make compelling arguments in this game. I've noticed that too.

Just to comment on a couple things I noticed...

First, I actually laughed when I read SBFord's statement,' "...Skyrim, the most MMO-like non-MMO on the planet." I'm not laughing at her, mind you, but because my immediate thought when reading that remark was "Skyrim has more MMO qualities and is more MMO-like than most actual MMOs anymore." Seriously, if MMO devs took a long hard look at Skyrim, and decided to borrow some of the things it does so well - such as making you feel fully immersed in a virtual world - not merely like you're controlling a character in a game" - the overall quality of MMOs would be brought up several notches. Further, they'd start to more closely resemble the way MMOs used to be.

Further, I see a lot of complaints about the UI and, while it's certainly not perfect and I find myself fighting with it from time to time, I'm playing the game with a mouse and keyboard on the PC and am personally having no trouble with it at all.  I guess it's one of those "mileage may vary" deals.

Lydia was a pain in the ass.

Until I found Boethia's Shrine....

...she has served her purpose. *evil*