Pirates and Ninjas. Capulets and Montagues. Daffy and Donald. Pittsburgh and Green Bay. The ages are replete with folks verbally sparring about why what they love is better than what someone else adores. In today's column, Coyote brings up another pairing that can divide families: Zombies and Vampires and the roles they play in today's culture. Read on and then leave the neutral zone to fight for what you love!

Once the stuff of legends and nightmares, vampires were both feared and respected throughout the entire world as a very real threat. They were mysterious, ancient creatures that rose from the dead in order to plague the living. Evil monsters trapped somewhere between life and death, hell bent on satisfying their unholy thirst by enslaving mankind and drinking our blood.

Read more Coyote's Howling: Zombies Are Better Than Vampires.

Deadliest Warrior would disagree with ya, but they were using 30 days of night vampires.....and the vamp did sort of turn into a zombie? at the end.  Still nice write up, lame Mr sparkles vampires are the worst.

"True Blood" disagrees with you, Mr. Coyote.  On the gaming front I put all my hope in "World of Darkness".

 That said, I really, really, REALLY hate Twilight for what it's done to my favourite villains.

Originally posted by Kendane

Deadliest Warrior would disagree with ya, but they were using 30 days of night vampires.....and or did sort of turn into a zombie? at the end.  Still nice write up, lame Mr sparklets vampires are the worst.

 

LOL, I saw that when I was flipping channels the other night.  It took me a few seconds to understand what they were talking about, then I was like "Holy crap, Deadliest Warrior is doing zombie vs. vampire.  Are they running out of material, or is this a really early Halloween special?"

I didn't stick around to watch it because Sons of Anarchy was starting.  It also seemed kinda pointless, because which one wins totally depends on what kind of vampies and what kind of zombies you're talking about.

The vampire's minions were a lot more disturbing than the vampires. Renfield was a lot scarier than Dracula. Which makes sense...vampires are supposed to be attractive...that's how they operate. It's their strength. Twilight is just the ultimate expression of that aspect of vampires.

Vampires were never really all that scary to begin with. Humans always win against the vampires eventually. Stake through the heart, garlic, find them in their coffin during the day...whatever. We always win. With zombies, humans never win. Even when humans win they don't win. The best you can hope for is being able to survive them.

If you want a more disturbing vampire, watch 'Stake Land' or read Guillermo Del Toro's book 'The Strain' and 'The Fall'.

The Vampire is the latest victim of the age of the Participation Trophy.  They even took some of the scare out of my favorite creature of the night, werewolves.  When I was young Vampires and Werewolves were as real as cats and dogs and when you went home from your buddy's house in the dark you'd better pay attention and haul ass or you'd be the next victim.  They were as real as that kid who cried outside in the winter and his face stuck taht way.  And if you ever felt your belief waning all you had to do was turn on the TV and Scooby Doo and the 4 O'Clock movie would assure you that such vile and debased creatures existed and were hiding behind every tree waiting to gobble up children.  The reason none of my generation was kidnapped and molested was we were so busy and so adept at avoiding Vampires, Werewolves, Zombies and Frankenseins that we were impossible for regular humans to catch. 

Now it's all gone.  Now anyone can be a vampire.  It's easy.  Everyone knows Vampires shop at Hot Topic, so just head on over and pick yourself out a pair of chunky black boots and a shirt with buckles.  Don't want to leave the house for fear of getting sun on that white skin?  No problem.  Every other role player in your favorite MMORPG is an angst driven, emo - kid Vampire, so role 'em up and get stuck into it.  Nothing is scary, nothing can hurt you and those things that go bump in the night are just friendly spirits watching over you while you sleep.

Yet why would anyone need a friendly ghost to watch over them while they sleep if there is nothing bad out there in the dark?  Because, one day, inevitably, those scary monsters will be back.  Not the half baked emo - kids, but the true souless flesh craving ghouls that stalked my childhood.  In the end we need those terrifying images of the night just like we needed the stalwart and fearless heroes who eventually vanquished them, because when you make the bad guys into the heroes, well then the heroes have to go, and what is this world without the good guys and the bad guys to teach us wrong from right?

They'll be back.  Bank on it.  And when they come ... well those of us who are adept at avoiding them will have to hold classes on how to keep from becoming a statistic.

Give me fantasy over Zombies and Vampires any day.  I just do not grasp the attraction.  Probably relates to the fact I had to sit through those awful Twilight movies and listen to the endless Edward/Jacob debates.  And zombies movies, just very bad sci-fi IMO.

Originally posted by lizardbones

The vampire's minions were a lot more disturbing than the vampires. Renfield was a lot scarier than Dracula. Which makes sense...vampires are supposed to be attractive...that's how they operate. It's their strength. Twilight is just the ultimate expression of that aspect of vampires.



Vampires were never really all that scary to begin with. Humans always win against the vampires eventually. Stake through the heart, garlic, find them in their coffin during the day...whatever. We always win. With zombies, humans never win. Even when humans win they don't win. The best you can hope for is being able to survive them.

If you want a more disturbing vampire, watch 'Stake Land' or read Guillermo Del Toro's book 'The Strain' and 'The Fall'.

 

Hehe ... everyone knows that's because Vampires solo in PvP to display their l337 skillZ while all the Zombies ever do is Zerg.

I would never chose zombies over vampires. Zombies are simply too stupid and because of that, too boring. I do hate the Twilight style of vampires though. From the current vampire tvseries I can only stand True Blood.

Zombies are so boring. I could see them as one of the monster types in some kind of post apocalyptic world (like Fallen Earth), but never as the main theme of a MMO. I find fighting zombies more boring then swatting mosquitos. At least mosquitos try to avoid your hits.

You'd have gone to see Twilight at the theater?

NO! Because I don't watch movies about blood drinking sparkle faries.

Originally posted by NameWasTaken

You'd have gone to see Twilight at the theater?

NO! Because I don't watch movies about blood drinking sparkle faries.

awww c'mon, you know you went to the midnight showings   yeah the sparkly vampires are annoyin, but it's difficult to find any vampire mythos that holds interest.  The last one that I liked was the original White Wolf take on them....not the game so much, just the lore/story.  Of course Bram is the classic mythos for our beloved bloodsuckers.  I hate Nosferatu for introducing the whole buring/dying/exploding/disappearing in the sun thing....or course the sparkles aren't any better.

Just another example of the entertainment industry catering to the lowest common denominator to appeal to the largest crowd with the most disposable income. 

It's ruining games, movies, the whole damned country!!!

Oh, Pittsburg vs. Green Bay?  Really??  GB wins easy!!!

Well said, well said. Of course you realize you've just issued a challenge to every fancy-nancy other-worldy romance writer and angsty teen dreamer out there?  Sure, we say it can't be done, but I wouldn't have thought it could be done with vampires.  But behold... sparkles?

With the kind of backing sure to assault the zombie legend, I predict the zombie menace will soon come to a similar demise, and zombies themselves will soon be menaced by hordes of young gits trying to claim a piece of them... or just hug the sweet, squishy pulp of undead flesh.

And, unfortunately, zombies have been romanticized before.  Piers Anthony did it in his second and third Xanth books.  In the past five years or so I came across an incredibly adorable comic, "Blue Zombie" that, while keeping with the unwholesome demonic nature of the zombies, made them quite lovable.

I'm sorry, but zombies are doomed.

 Honestly, though, I find the idea of sparkling pretty damned terrifying anyway.  Maybe, as you so aptly pointed out, for the havok it wreaks on our concepts of evil that have been centuries in the making.

But maybe we need to think about what it means to the vampire.  I can't even begin to count the number of people I know that would assault and ultimately destroy someone who sparkled on a regular basis.  Weekends is okay, everyone has an off weekend.  

But what about the standards this sets for vampires?  They can't even make an appearance without performing a light show with their skin these days, and every one of them has to stop and reassess their blood thirst paradigm to find a motive that is full of feeling and deepness of soul.  I'm sorry, but that's just too much work all around.

Originally posted by Kendane

Deadliest Warrior would disagree with ya, but they were using 30 days of night vampires.....and the vamp did sort of turn into a zombie? at the end.  Still nice write up, lame Mr sparkles vampires are the worst.

 

 

I saw that too - last night - I thought it was a Halloween special , but in September? Anyhow, who would have thought there were "zombie" experts? Vampire enthusiasts yes.  Guess the Vampires vs. Werewolves weren't as hotly debated?

Zombies are like the zerg or an even older term cannon fodder they usualy serve as the foot soldier to whatever other mythical creature they serve under be it werewolf, or vampire.  Twilight has nothing to do with any vampire I know about so I don't even consider them in anything but no zombies will never be better than vampires.  Unless it's a gay vampire like Tom Cruise j/k.

"When did vampires go from being badass monsters to these sparkling bastardizations of everything we once held sacred? The vampires that I knew and loved might have hid behind beauty and sensuality, but it merely a clever ploy; a mask worn by a predator who wanted nothing more than to kill you and to feast upon your very essence."

 God bless you. Great piece, I look forward to reading more! :)

Zomcoms tend to be more fun and entertaining than Vampcoms.  So when browsing for the movie to watch, go with zombies all the way.

But Vamps would make the better villains overall, if only Drac would show up and personally pwn Edward Cullen and his whole sparkly family.  You'll never meet a diabolically intelligent zombie.

The only times vampires have been done well is in Nosferatu, Bram Stokers Dracula and Castlevania. The rest are just disturbing and just make me pray for Belmont to come whip the shit out of them.

Zombies are getting boring thankfully we have The Walking Dead though.

Get with the damned program, it's Dinosaurs and Aliens now.

 DO NOT MENTION THAT HERETICAL FAST WALKER BULL SHIT WWZ MOVIE! EVER!

"When did vampires go from being badass monsters to these sparkling bastardizations of everything we once held sacred? The vampires that I knew and loved might have hid behind beauty and sensuality, but it merely a clever ploy; a mask worn by a predator who wanted nothing more than to kill you and to feast upon your very essence."

Originally posted by Sideras

The only times vampires have been done well is in Nosferatu, Bram Stokers Dracula and Castlevania. The rest are just disturbing and just make me pray for Belmont to come whip the shit out of them.

I don't know, Underworld's elder vamps were pretty serious badasses (if you correctly ignore the let's-make-more-money sequels).

They'd certainly make short work of the Cullens.