I've made friends in games with not so helpful/nice communities such as RF Online.  I think the grind in the game got rid of all the 12 year old chat spammers that no one likes.   But I've found jerks in the best of communities as well such as Istaria as well.. every community has a little bit of everything in MMOs.

Yes gear can tear people apart.  I knew a dick in one of my past guilds that would freak out on a person if they outbid him (DRAGON KILL POINTSLOL) on a piece he needed.

I've also made some funny friends in MMOs. Sad thing is.. 7 times outta 10 if you meet a cool guy on WoW they aren't an MMO player they're a WoW player. (Meaning they would never quit to play a different MMO)

Originally posted by RudyRaccoon

Clearly I'm sick of WoW's childish community of trolls and jerks, I know you will find these anywhere you go on the Internet but they are EVERYWHERE in WoW and clearly even though WoW is the most popular MMO but it also has the most mean people, clearly I have no-idea what MMO I should play instead?

In other means, do people actually play these games for fun and to make friends or I'm I getting this mixed up with an online chat MSN or Skype even if I have no friends who use them?

What I've also come to ask is seeing as you have to solo your ass to max level (this part and hate and wished people didn't hush for games like these) and when you finally get to do those big dungeons and you have friends, would the gear that drops make people hate each other, you know like a sense of greed? I mean does gear actually separate people apart meaning everyone is an enemy to each other?

I've visited Everquest friends in Brazil, San Diego, New Jersey and Norfolk.  These new games have less sitting around, which means less talking and less friendship building.

The only reason to why I played WoW for as long as I did were the people I met. I would've quit years before I did otherwise. I wouldn't say that I played to make friends, I played because I enjoyed it, but I wouldn't enjoy it without the people I played with... so... maybe I did play to make friends... I must have stayed on related forums over a year after I quit playing.

There are loads of jerks in WoW, that's true. But I never had to play alone if I didn't want to, while levelling up or after. You might have to wade through some jerks but sooner or later you will strike gold. Some of them are complete newbs that does everything wrong but that doesn't mean that they aren't great guys. I even had people tell me "X wants you to un-ignore him" and they turn out to be good fun. Others go straight back to the ignore list...

Just give them a shot, give everyone a shot. That goes for every game, WoW just suites as a good example. Well, I've never met a jerk in Wurm Online. just grab  the first guy you meet and there you have your friend. Sort of. 

I've never played WoW so I can't really comment on how good or bad it is there. But of those that I have played, yes, I have made friends and this is after soloing 90% of the time. I don't think anyone was ever jealous of the gear I had. It was always more of the "Holy crap, where the hell did you get that drop ?"

If you get into a good mature guild, you will find that 99% of the time everyone's talking in the guild's RL forums instead of the game forums. Conversations range from anything from cooking recipes to their kids to how to survive in war zones to, one time, "I gotta get the f*ck into the cellar guys, hurricanes gonna hit like right now !"

Seriously, one mmo is the same as the next when you take a step back to look at it. What makes them special are the relationships you make/form in those games and the lives that brush past yours during your time in them.

When I started playing MMOs things were a bit different.  I met a bunch of people because of them and found out they lived 10 minutes away, then shortly after I ended up meeting them and we've been friends for ~14 years now.  I've found out that as I started to move on to different games friendships started becoming fewer and farther between.  DAoC spawned a guild which I joined and ended up meeting quite a few of it's members, but as I continued and ended with WoW I think I only keep in touch with 1 person that I've met that was new... not counting my real life friends.

I'm thinking that it had something to do with the game mechanics and how they influenced the play style of the people that enjoy them.  I didn't really care for the gear tread mill that was WoW and more often then not came into conflict with people because I wasn't doing what was "accepted".  I guess I come from different time with different objectives.  This is the main reason I no longer subscribe or play any mmorpg games.

I have been in Friday night downtown meeting with guildies.  I have been to airport to pickup someone from my guild hitting my town for business.  I have been to a wedding involving 2 guildies.

That however only occur a few times in my life.  Friends online are good friends in game, but when its RL sometimes they are not that good companies.  I still love BBQing with my old friends.

Originally posted by RudyRaccoon

Clearly I'm sick of WoW's childish community of trolls and jerks, I know you will find these anywhere you go on the Internet but they are EVERYWHERE in WoW and clearly even though WoW is the most popular MMO but it also has the most mean people, clearly I have no-idea what MMO I should play instead?

In other means, do people actually play these games for fun and to make friends or I'm I getting this mixed up with an online chat MSN or Skype even if I have no friends who use them?

What I've also come to ask is seeing as you have to solo your ass to max level (this part and hate and wished people didn't hush for games like these) and when you finally get to do those big dungeons and you have friends, would the gear that drops make people hate each other, you know like a sense of greed? I mean does gear actually separate people apart meaning everyone is an enemy to each other?

I think to explain the mean people, we just have a very large demographic particularly including a lot of raging hormone teenagers (and possibly young adults) that do play WoW that seem to be at their leisure to act the way they want while being anonymous. This isn't just limited to WoW, I think this can be applied to the Internet in general. 

Surely the game can be used for  making friends but also many times can be used for reinforcing friendships. It helped me enjoy my time better with a friend who now is my current girlfriend (no we didn't meet on WoW). However, joining her server, she has been part of a guild for many years that we became good friends with, good enough to visit them all the way in Canada (I'm from Illinois and she's from New York, yes we're also long distance and the WoW does help ;)  ). I also have family on another server who invite real life friends or shipmates (2 of them are military) into the game and it really helps them keep in touch with each other (and also with me) especially when you move around a lot in the military or are on deployment (sailing the seven seas/fighting in Iraq etc.). 

From what I experienced playing with geared people in raids or dungeon runs, they seem to be more humble and patient than most other players. They at the very least tolerable if they don't seem too fun to play with, never with an attitude that would make anyone want to hate them. I don't think jealousy really plays a huge part in terms of gear because everyone is on WoW to have fun in the first place and probably won't care that much about the top rated guilds/players on their servers. 

Those are my 2 cents on your particular questions.

EDIT: I would echo an above poster in saying if it wasn't for my friends and family, I would of quit WoW a long time ago. It's really the community that keeps players in an MMO for the long haul rather than exhaust it and leave it like some others might do. 

I’ve played UO and Vanguard extensively and in the guilds I was in I met awesome people .I never met them in person due to the geographical boundaries ...I live in South Africa and they lived in Europe mostly but we really got on well. Like anything in life some people present a facade ,so initially they seem really likable but then you notice certain peculiar changes in their personality and behaviour in the MMO that makes you think “ that’s not someone I really have much in common with “ ..but that’s human nature .You will have the same experiences with people at work or through some hobby club.
Personally for me I enjoy intellectual stimulation and humour and if I meet someone in a guild who shows those traits I would naturally gravitate towards them from a friendship perspective
I also believe if I could visit them I would which would be a real sign of friendship.
 

Well it's all great and all of what all you people have said so far but what if your someone who has no friends in an MMO from the beginning? I for one I'm very lonely when I play these games, people have said it's more fun if you have real life friends but I don't really have real life friends anymore so I don't know if MMOs are a lost cause for me? =(

Originally posted by RudyRaccoon

Well it's all great and all of what all you people have said so far but what if your someone who has no friends in an MMO from the beginning? I for one I'm very lonely when I play these games, people have said it's more fun if you have real life friends but I don't really have real life friends anymore so I don't know if MMOs are a lost cause for me? =(

Well, that's really up to you to find a way to make friends. Do instance runs in PUG's and add people onto your friend's list that you like grouping with. Join a guild that is looking to recruit and that advertises the kinds of players they are looking for that you like. Invite guildies/friends list to all your instance runs every chance you get. Relationships take time and you got to build them ;) With guilds and a friends list, you should be able to easily find other gamers to play with. As for real life friends, you're on your own on that one, there isn't as simple of a solution =x

Originally posted by godzilr1

Friends, not really.  A friend is someone would i have a lot of things in common with and we do a lot of things together, and we hang out.  A friend i would not be able to loose if i stopped paying 14.99.  

 I would maybe call them MMO Preferred group acquaintences,  people i would prefer to be around and group with because i enjoy their company or they play their character well.

Ah, the WOW generaiton.... 

Originally posted by RudyRaccoon

Well it's all great and all of what all you people have said so far but what if your someone who has no friends in an MMO from the beginning? I for one I'm very lonely when I play these games, people have said it's more fun if you have real life friends but I don't really have real life friends anymore so I don't know if MMOs are a lost cause for me? =(

Rudy absolutely not ,MMO are the perfect place for you to meet people who you have common interests. There are millions of people playing MMO who all have different interests and personalities .I guarantee you can meet people who you can become friends with but you need to find them .I would honestly recommend you join a guild and within 2 weeks or so you will be able to tell if these are the type of people you would like to continue a friendship with .Something else you do need to do is initiate conversation with people in a guild ,you can’t always expect people to open-up initially to you. I happen to be a very gregarious and extremely loquacious person so that isn’t an issue for me

:)

Originally posted by RudyRaccoon

...

Short answer: yes, I've made plenty of friends that I keep in touch with on a semi-regular basis (all parties still have real lives), and have even rendered a visit to if they've been within an hour's drive. Most of these friends (all but maybe 2) were made prior to 2006.

Long answer: this trend of solo-focused play does not help community. It promotes goals (getting to the next level, finishing a task, acquiring gear etc) above people (simple stop and smell the roses, idle chat about a really novel questline with rich lore, etc). While one could argue that you are still free to socialize while accomplishing goals, you'd be wrong to think that the setting allows for it. Everyone plays the game, albeit for different reasons, but we all play the same game, and react to the mechanics that are in place. If the mechanics are solo, goal-driven, then as a function, that is the mentality that gets embraced. While some will bond together because it is in their personalities to do so, many more will meet the game's focus and orientation and that's that. Sharing is a learnt concept- it doesn't happen by default. Rather than coming together to help each other out, because the game has taught the players the value of a group, and the concept of you're only as strong as your weakest link, current games assemble people to bicker over accomplishments of common goals for the individual. This sense of entitlement really does plague the social interactions we can and should be having.

'We're making it easier to group through mechanic_X!' That's fine and dandy. What's the game's focus and orientation? Until you fix that, you're just streamlining the problem.

I knew the exaggerated posts would be lol worthy in this topic. Gotta love MMORPG.com's community.

this will sound stupid, but play more boring games.

No, seriously, most of the modern MMO's like WOW, Aion and the like are designed to keep the player busy and fighting for the maximum time possible, and make little provision for down time and social interaction.

I ran an instance with a great PUG group in Aion last evening. We were a killing machine, fine tuned and everyone knew and did their part.  The entire hour or so we were together there was absolutely no social interaction between us.  I play a healer, thorugh the use of pots/skills I only had to sit and rest 2 times while the rest of the melee kept on fighting w/o me.

We successfully completed the instance and said our goodbyes.This sort of mechanic does not give you a chance to build friendships.

This is contrasted with my early days in DAOC where after every big pull your group had to sit down while the Bard/Minstrel played healing/mana regen songs, and during those short downtimes you would naturally chat with folks.  Some say today's game designs are better but I disagree.  if non-stop action is your goal (and it appears to be what most people want) then sure, the games fit the bill.  But if you want good opportunities to interact socially they fall short.

So give games like EVE, or a Tale in the Desert, or even Darkfall (because you need to make friends and interact to survive) and you'll probably have a better time of it making friends.

Look for games with downtime, they will be your best chance of interacting with others.

the only people i talk to who i met in a game was a few people from UO and Swg... other than that naw.... Solum Contego!/ Dragons Family

Originally posted by RudyRaccoon

Clearly I'm sick of WoW's childish community of trolls and jerks, I know you will find these anywhere you go on the Internet but they are EVERYWHERE in WoW and clearly even though WoW is the most popular MMO but it also has the most mean people, clearly I have no-idea what MMO I should play instead?

In other means, do people actually play these games for fun and to make friends or I'm I getting this mixed up with an online chat MSN or Skype even if I have no friends who use them?

What I've also come to ask is seeing as you have to solo your ass to max level (this part and hate and wished people didn't hush for games like these) and when you finally get to do those big dungeons and you have friends, would the gear that drops make people hate each other, you know like a sense of greed? I mean does gear actually separate people apart meaning everyone is an enemy to each other?

I Everquest I had a great many real friends, people I still talk to even though I have not played in over a year. We also had three couples in our guild get married after meeting in game.

Modern MMO's are less about the community and more about constant action. Something necessary to hold the attention of the instant gratification crowd that companies aim for these days. Without the downtime of the older games, people don't bother to talk to each other, and without that interaction, there can be no friendships made.

Originally posted by Kyleran

this will sound stupid, but play more boring games.

No, seriously, most of the modern MMO's like WOW, Aion and the like are designed to keep the player busy and fighting for the maximum time possible, and make little provision for down time and social interaction.

I ran an instance with a great PUG group in Aion last evening. We were a killing machine, fine tuned and everyone knew and did their part.  The entire hour or so we were together there was absolutely no social interaction between us.  I play a healer, thorugh the use of pots/skills I only had to sit and rest 2 times while the rest of the melee kept on fighting w/o me.

We successfully completed the instance and said our goodbyes.This sort of mechanic does not give you a chance to build friendships.

This is contrasted with my early days in DAOC where after every big pull your group had to sit down while the Bard/Minstrel played healing/mana regen songs, and during those short downtimes you would naturally chat with folks.  Some say today's game designs are better but I disagree.  if non-stop action is your goal (and it appears to be what most people want) then sure, the games fit the bill.  But if you want good opportunities to interact socially they fall short.

So give games like EVE, or a Tale in the Desert, or even Darkfall (because you need to make friends and interact to survive) and you'll probably have a better time of it making friends.

Look for games with downtime, they will be your best chance of interacting with others.

 

Agreed.
 

Most of the modern MMOs are designed more for the ADHD type gameplay where there is almost no downtime what so ever. Everything happens so fast that there is really no need to interact beyond "Pull" or "Brb".

Games back in the day had downtime which allowed players to chat while regaining health/mana. It was easier to make friends in games like EQ, DAoC, AC and AO because you actually had time to talk with people and maybe even get a response.

Its hard

Usually its just guilds consisting of people that are allready RL friends. Or friends from way back.

And average behavior towards strangers is either very hostile. Or polite and helpfull , but brief.

However.

Here and there you do make friends. But they usually turn out to be greeks or sweedish...

I guess thats the ways of the Internets