I got off duty last night, logged on to X-Fire and one of my friends messaged me right away asking if I heard anything about the kid who commited suicide. I was like no, so I checked it out and in the process stumbled upon another suicide by an older man who hung himself. Normally, my life isn't stricken with people who do such drastic things.

So, I got up to do sick call for my fellow soldiers and then made my way over to the Aid Station to turn in my sick call slips. As I approached the Aid Station, I noticed one of our First Sergeants and an XO talking to all my fellow medics who work in our HQ company. At first I thought they were getting talked to for doing something wrong. After they opened the doors, some of the medics were teary eyed so I was like damn, this looks serious.

Once I got in the Aid Station, my old Platoon Leader informed me that a fellow medic I've known for about 6 months now hung himself. A guy I was just talking to not even 12 hours before, a guy who just re-enlisted that day and seemed to be on top of the world.

I guess what was so freaky is that I ended up reading about one guy hanging himself on the internet news and then wake up to a fellow medic who hung himself last night. It's basically made this whole day feel like some surreal nightmare.

So ya, this is definitely the freakiest day of my life.

So, just to inform everyone, the classic signs of suicide may not always be present. In response to that, I've decided to take a look at how I act towards others, making sure that even when joking around, that I'm not offending someone or hurting their feelings. Suicide is a serious problem everywhere, the rich, the poor, the famous and the not so famous. I'm going to do everything I can to control what I say or type in this matter because you don't know how someone might react, especially over the internet. As for everyone else, all I can do is ask for similar standards. It's a simple request and something I think we could all agree on as providing a positive atmosphere.

Anyhow, sorry for dumping my bad news on all of you, but I really don't like to see things like this happen.

Originally posted by Rhoklaw

In response to that, I've decided to take a look at how I act towards others, making sure that even when joking around, that I'm not offending someone or hurting their feelings. Suicide is a serious problem everywhere...

Yes, suicide is a serious issue, but it is the individuals fault, not yours (generally speaking). There is no need to walk on eggshells and worry if you offend someone. You're not responsible for someone who takes the coward's way out and takes their own life.

That sucks, we had a guy at my work hang himself a few months ago. He was the nicest guy at my work, never got into arguments with anyone, people had a trust in him and talked to him about everything, he never tried to backstab anyone. When we found out my work had grief counselors come in for about a week to help people out.

Some people are just overwhelmed and deal with stress and bullshit differently.

On a side note, are you and your soldiers offered any type of psych help to deal with PTSD?

You should know that your sacrifice, and especially for those overseas, is not forgotten and most definitely appreciated. They will be on the thoughts and in the minds of millions of Americans this holiday season.

Originally posted by Briansho

That sucks, we had a guy at my work hang himself a few months ago. He was the nicest guy at my work, never got into arguments with anyone, people had a trust in him and talked to him about everything, he never tried to backstab anyone. When we found out my work had grief counselors come in for about a week to help people out.

Some people are just overwhelmed and deal with stress and bullshit differently.

On a side note, are you and your soldiers offered any type of psych help to deal with PTSD?

To be honest, the military is pushing to make PTSD an actual disability, so if and when someone is diagnosed and discharged with such a disorder, they might be getting up to a 50% disability. As for treatment and whatnot, it's there, but I seriously don't think theres any true treatment for it. For some people, they'd have to be hooked up to a I.V. euphoria drug 24/7 just to eliminate the effects of PTSD.

I feel you man, I known somebody who had a fate such as that medic. Never seemed like something was wrong with him and I was cool with hem, then didn't see him for a while and grew up to know he commited suicide. It's pretty crazy, but your ides of the way you look at yoruself at how you treat people isn't a bad thing at all. If I make jokes I always say, "i'm just playin man/girl." things like that unless they are being very rude to me then I'd dish and tell them why they are getting served. Pray for that guy man. One life effects a lot of people. Not a lot of people can see that.

Originally posted by Dekron

Yes, suicide is a serious issue, but it is the individuals fault, not yours (generally speaking). There is no need to walk on eggshells and worry if you offend someone. You're not responsible for someone who takes the coward's way out and takes their own life.

So we shouldn't care what we do and say to other people? Be as insensitive as you like, if they can't handle it it's not your fault? 

Originally posted by Dekron

Originally posted by Rhoklaw

In response to that, I've decided to take a look at how I act towards others, making sure that even when joking around, that I'm not offending someone or hurting their feelings. Suicide is a serious problem everywhere...

Yes, suicide is a serious issue, but it is the individuals fault, not yours (generally speaking). There is no need to walk on eggshells and worry if you offend someone. You're not responsible for someone who takes the coward's way out and takes their own life.

Take a psychology class some time, your ignorance is disgusting.

One of the things my lecturer once said is that depression is unfathomable to people who haven't experienced it, I'd love to see you talk like that in the real world.

I think what Dekron might be trying to say is that not to take the blame or think you took part in somebody's suicide. I mean I do think suicide is wrong and it is an coward way to get out of your problems or troubles in life, but in the mind of the suicider, it seems more like an escape of some sort. I have stopped my little cousin once from suicide and she was about to take her own life over something that was just stupid. Just over the opinions of 5 people.

I don't know what's gotten into her but I dont know if this whole emo era she is hangin with is to blame, but I mean...i told her not to be a coward to people. People envy you and it's not going to help if you take your life, the big picture of it is all you effect around you, not just because some fools want to make your life hell. Family is always there for you.

Now IMO it's different, because she is my cousin, but  I know we all can't save everybody, that's why you shouldn't take blame...

Originally posted by Rikimaru_X

I think what Dekron might be trying to say is that not to take the blame or think you took part in somebody's suicide. I mean I do think suicide is wrong and it is an coward way to get out of your problems or troubles in life, but in the mind of the suicider, it seems more like an escape of some sort. I have stopped my little cousin once from suicide and she was about to take her own life over something that was just stupid. Just over the opinions of 5 people.

I don't know what's gotten into her but I dont know if this whole emo era she is hangin with is to blame, but I mean...i told her not to be a coward to people. People envy you and it's not going to help if you take your life, the big picture of it is all you effect around you, not just because some fools want to make your life hell. Family is always there for you.

Now IMO it's different, because she is my cousin, but  I know we all can't save everybody, that's why you shouldn't take blame...

A 'cowards' way out is a fucking crock of shit, what I said to Dekron applies here too and you missed my point.

A lot of people mistakingly believe suicide is 100% the victims fault, but they don't realise there are REAL clinical problems associated with it. Its easy to judge such people from the outside but for a person to actually take their own life goes beyond the bullshit black & white thinking of 'cowardice'.

Originally posted by Rhoklaw

So, just to inform everyone, the classic signs of suicide may not always be present. In response to that, I've decided to take a look at how I act towards others, making sure that even when joking around, that I'm not offending someone or hurting their feelings. Suicide is a serious problem everywhere, the rich, the poor, the famous and the not so famous. I'm going to do everything I can to control what I say or type in this matter because you don't know how someone might react, especially over the internet. As for everyone else, all I can do is ask for similar standards. It's a simple request and something I think we could all agree on as providing a positive atmosphere.

QFT

but still, people will remain insensitive to these kinds of situations, because as you said, a person might not display any signs of self harm/suicide. And even if they did know, theirs still just alot of people, especially over the internet, that just don't care really, its sad.

Originally posted by Rhoklaw

Once I got in the Aid Station, my old Platoon Leader informed me that a fellow medic I've known for about 6 months now hung himself. A guy I was just talking to not even 12 hours before, a guy who just re-enlisted that day and seemed to be on top of the world.

I guess what was so freaky is that I ended up reading about one guy hanging himself on the internet news and then wake up to a fellow medic who hung himself last night. It's basically made this whole day feel like some surreal nightmare.

So ya, this is definitely the freakiest day of my life.

So, just to inform everyone, the classic signs of suicide may not always be present.

I don't know if you mean that he seemed to be on top of the world, or that he acted like he was.

If he acted like everything was great, that's not unusual for someone just before they commit suicide.

It's because they have made a decision, and are happy that they are done with the decision making, and that they are now going to "improve" their situation. So it's like a relief.

Btw, that things happen in relation like you mention there, is also not unusual, if more people start to notice thiese things they're gonna be amazed how many "coincidences" are connected.

That's what I've experienced anyway.

"I've decided to take a look at how I act towards others"

on that note, Im going to upload an album for my friends that I barely see nowadays

Originally posted by Bigdavo

Originally posted by Rikimaru_X

I think what Dekron might be trying to say is that not to take the blame or think you took part in somebody's suicide. I mean I do think suicide is wrong and it is an coward way to get out of your problems or troubles in life, but in the mind of the suicider, it seems more like an escape of some sort. I have stopped my little cousin once from suicide and she was about to take her own life over something that was just stupid. Just over the opinions of 5 people.

I don't know what's gotten into her but I dont know if this whole emo era she is hangin with is to blame, but I mean...i told her not to be a coward to people. People envy you and it's not going to help if you take your life, the big picture of it is all you effect around you, not just because some fools want to make your life hell. Family is always there for you.

Now IMO it's different, because she is my cousin, but  I know we all can't save everybody, that's why you shouldn't take blame...

 

A 'cowards' way out is a fucking crock of shit, what I said to Dekron applies here too and you missed my point.

A lot of people mistakingly believe suicide is 100% the victims fault, but they don't realise there are REAL clinical problems associated with it. Its easy to judge such people from the outside but for a person to actually take their own life goes beyond the bullshit black & white thinking of 'cowardice'.

SUICIDE is a choice.  It is 100% the Victim's fault especially in today's world.  There is So much available help. 

Suicide is a reaction to thinking that they have no where else to go.  They feel lost, isolated, and think that they are all alone in their problems.  They feel that no one cares about them at all. 

BUT 

Suicide is entirely an internal problem.  You can't make someone commit suicide.  

Edit

One of the best examples I have heard of what someone feels when they are thinking about Suicide is a story of a man that jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge. 

This man felt that he had nothing left to live for.  He made up his mind and decided he was going to jump off the bridge.  So he took got on the bus thingy (I've never been to San Fran so not sure if it is an actual bus or a trolley) and rode to the bridge.  The whole way there he was crying.  He had decided that if anyone (anyone at all) stopped him and asked him what was wrong he would take that as a sign that people do care about him and he wouldn't commit suicide. 

No one said anything to him at all on the bus. 

He got off at the Bridge.  He walked around still crying (almost sobbing) looking for a good place to jump.  He found the spot where he wanted to jump and a woman came up to him. 

He felt this is it (she is going to ask me what is wrong and help me). 

Instead she said he was standing where she wanted her picture taking and asked him if he would take her Picture. 

It was at that point that he said he knew that no one cared about him.  After taking her picture he got up on the side of the bridge.  

He proceeded to jump and then realized.  

He just made the WORST decision of his life.  He instantly wanted to take it back but it was too late.  He realized in that moment that anything he was going through was temporary but he just made a permanent decision to deal with those temporary problems.  

Luckily (or maybe unluckily) he survived but became a quadrapalegic (sp?).  

(My boss (Chaplain) told me this story.  He heard this man speak at a Suicide Training in California) 

No matter what is going on in a person's life the choice to commit suicide is that.  It is a choice.  Is it cowardice?  In a way I guess it is.  They want the hurting to stop more then anything else.  They just don't want to feel anything anymore.  Suicide really isn't a reaction to the factors that are making them upset it is more a reaction to internal feelings of hopelessness.  It is irrational but irrational decisions can be the result of tunnel vision.  The person fixates on Suicide as the escape from hurting and then has difficulty seeing any other possible answer to their problems. 

The best way to help someone who might be suicidal is to just ASK THEM.  It can be as easy as "Are you thinking about hurting yourself"  There can be other warning signs but the best thing to do is ask. 

If a person is giving away pocessions, becomes distant, has a drastic change in personality (IE an outgoing person becomes distant, or a shy person becomes outgoing,  a person who is usually really neat and tidy lets their appearance go). 

Some major factors to keep in mind are:

Don't keep the fact that the person is suicidal a secret (even if they ask you not to tell anyone). 

Seek help immediately for that person.   Remember Suicide is not a Rational Thought so that person needs help to deal with the issues. 

Don't ever leave them alone.  Don't think well they will be better if I just let them sleep on it. 

Just some extra advice for those that might not know. 

(Personally I do suicide prevention training on a weekly basis to around 30-50 new Sailors,  I also am 1 class away from my Bachelor's in Psychology, even though I will never work in the Psychology field)  (I got the Psych degree because that is my wife's major and it turned out that when gathering up all of my classes I seemed to actually show up at class for the classes my wife was in more often then any others.  So I decided to just finish up the degree). 

Originally posted by Cabe2323

Originally posted by Bigdavo

Originally posted by Rikimaru_X

I think what Dekron might be trying to say is that not to take the blame or think you took part in somebody's suicide. I mean I do think suicide is wrong and it is an coward way to get out of your problems or troubles in life, but in the mind of the suicider, it seems more like an escape of some sort. I have stopped my little cousin once from suicide and she was about to take her own life over something that was just stupid. Just over the opinions of 5 people.

I don't know what's gotten into her but I dont know if this whole emo era she is hangin with is to blame, but I mean...i told her not to be a coward to people. People envy you and it's not going to help if you take your life, the big picture of it is all you effect around you, not just because some fools want to make your life hell. Family is always there for you.

Now IMO it's different, because she is my cousin, but  I know we all can't save everybody, that's why you shouldn't take blame...

 

A 'cowards' way out is a fucking crock of shit, what I said to Dekron applies here too and you missed my point.

A lot of people mistakingly believe suicide is 100% the victims fault, but they don't realise there are REAL clinical problems associated with it. Its easy to judge such people from the outside but for a person to actually take their own life goes beyond the bullshit black & white thinking of 'cowardice'.

 

SUICIDE is a choice.  It is 100% the Victim's fault especially in today's world.  There is So much available help. 

Suicide is a reaction to thinking that they have no where else to go.  They feel lost, isolated, and think that they are all alone in their problems.  They feel that no one cares about them at all. 

BUT 

Suicide is entirely an internal problem.  You can't make someone commit suicide.  

can we agree that even with medicine that some people can still be sadder than others or more anxious than others. if what you are saying is that everyone is no different mentally, and all those mental disorders are bullcrock - then I disagree immensely. Also some people are more prone to being affected emotionally by others.

Originally posted by Thrakk

Originally posted by Cabe2323

SUICIDE is a choice.  It is 100% the Victim's fault especially in today's world.  There is So much available help. 

Suicide is a reaction to thinking that they have no where else to go.  They feel lost, isolated, and think that they are all alone in their problems.  They feel that no one cares about them at all. 

BUT 

Suicide is entirely an internal problem.  You can't make someone commit suicide.  

can we agree that even with medicine that some people can still be sadder than others or more anxious than others. if what you are saying is that everyone is no different mentally, and all those mental disorders are bullcrock - then I disagree immensely. Also some people are more prone to being affected emotionally by others.

I am not saying that at all.  I am saying that committing suicide is a choice.  I am not saying that people are all the same mentally.
 

I know that some people can be more likely to commit suicide due to mental illness.  My point was that it is a choice.  Before it gets to the point of Suicide a person can seek help.  The problem is that there is such a stigma in our society with needing help that a lot of people don't seek the help that they desperately need. 

The number 1 factor in Suicide (at least in the Military) is alcohol.  If you take a suicidal person who isn't thinking rationally to begin with and then combine alcohol to that then a disaster is going to happen. 

Suicide is a choice. I wouldn't say it's due to cowardess, more like selfishness. Depression makes you think about you, and only you, and quite honestly for many, just "talking" to them isn't enough. For many, there is no ration. There's only pain and lonliness and helplessness. If you know someone who can still understand rational thinking, then just tell them this... "No matter how much pain you suffer, there are others out you with pain as well. And if you can make even one of them feel better and make a difference in their life, then your suffering would be worth it." That's what kept me from killing myself... focusing outside of myself. You have to make them remember that they're not alone.

To the OP, it's really sad that happened. While there's nothing wrong with being nicer to people, just make sure you're also stern with them when you need to be. Being too nice to someone can also make things worse. So just be yourself - if someone kills themself because of "something you said," know that there was a LOT more going on and if it had not been you, it would've been someone else.

Originally posted by Cabe2323

 

SUICIDE is a choice.  It is 100% the Victim's fault especially in today's world.  There is So much available help. 

Suicide is a reaction to thinking that they have no where else to go.  They feel lost, isolated, and think that they are all alone in their problems.  They feel that no one cares about them at all. 

BUT 

Suicide is entirely an internal problem.  You can't make someone commit suicide.  

 

That is entirely untrue, you can make almost anyone do pretty much anything.

I advice you to watch the BBC horizon episode : The 7-7 Bombers A Psychological Investigation.

It barely scratches the surface but none the less it has been proved over and over again that with the rigth  encouragement you can get almost anyone to do anything.

And it does not even take that much.

In clinical studies two thirds of the test subjects delivered a lethal blow to another human being, fully understanding that this would kill them, when given the rigth circumstances. ( I even think it is in that documentray ).

It is probable that I could make YOU commit suicide if I were given the time and right resources.

Something that you will refute to no end I am sure.

But give this just a tiny bit of research please?

This is one of the most studied topics in psychology right now, obviously because of 9/11 but that does not make it any less valid!

Ignorance is one thing and it is always dangerous, but not realising there even is a danger, well that that is not good at all.

Especially not for a country as hard pressed by the people who uses this human weakness to its fullest to use against it foes as USA is.

And trust me, almost all of us can be made into human bombs.

Heh, imagine how dissected this post will be by the security agencies?

And they know all to well how correct I am.

Originally posted by Desalus

Originally posted by Dekron

Yes, suicide is a serious issue, but it is the individuals fault, not yours (generally speaking). There is no need to walk on eggshells and worry if you offend someone. You're not responsible for someone who takes the coward's way out and takes their own life.

 

So we shouldn't care what we do and say to other people? Be as insensitive as you like, if they can't handle it it's not your fault? 

 

I didn't say be insensitive, but I am not going to lie to simply not "hurt someone's feelings".

Originally posted by Bigdavo 

Take a psychology class some time, your ignorance is disgusting.

One of the things my lecturer once said is that depression is unfathomable to people who haven't experienced it, I'd love to see you talk like that in the real world.

I have taken quite a few and have come to the same conclusion regarding each one - psychology is a farce. Of course, that possibly offends you because it seems as if you are a student of the subject, but, as I said above, I am simply telling the truth and will not do so otherwise to protect your "feelings".

As far as depression - well, I have been quite deep in it. However, I didn't wallow in my self pity and kill myself to get away from it. I dealt with it and faced it on my own terms. I've lost loved ones and i've seen some horrible things in my life, but I dealt with it.

I am sorry to hear the news and I pray for him that he makes his way to heaven and is rewarded for his service and selflessness in being a medic for the United States Army.  R.I.P.