General Discussion

I am a vivid gamer since ages and my last girlfriend was *also* a gamer and life was pretty harmonic. We were either playing together MMORPGs or single player games in our free time.

Now thats past and i married another woman after that relationship broke. My wife doesnt have any connection to games. I mean it isnt much of a problem to find a few hours at the evening to play, but i feel *guilty* whenever i am playing a game for a bit longer. She is cute and doesnt say anything, still i feel like i cant concentrate on games anymore; not that i neglect her in any way. I have many games i would love to play, but i just cant get into it anymore.

I am freshly married and i wanted to get some feedback from people married for a longer period; how youre feeling, how youre doing to find some free time between marriage and games ;)

I've been married about 8 years.  We are both in the same profession, but I only work 3 days a week and she works 5 days.  So the days she's at work or doing something with her mother or friends I will play my mmo's.

She doesn't play mmo's but she likes console games and also the Sims 2 which I bought for her pc.  She has all the Sims2 expansions and she makes houses and decorates and stuff while I sit next to her and play my mmo on the computer next to her.  Other times we sit on the couch and play console games, trading the controller back and forth.

My wife has never ever given me grief for playing video games.  I think she finds it amusing that I play videogames at all.  But every interest I have ever had she has always supported me, whether it was self publishing a book, starting a business, sculpting beautiful nude models at my house, etc., she has always been behind me 100%. 

Heck...now that I think about it she's probably relieved I play video games.  Keeps me out of trouble.

Originally posted by grues0me

I am a vivid gamer since ages and my last girlfriend was *also* a gamer and life was pretty harmonic. We were either playing together MMORPGs or single player games in our free time.

Now thats past and i married another woman after that relationship broke. My wife doesnt have any connection to games. I mean it isnt much of a problem to find a few hours at the evening to play, but i feel *guilty* whenever i am playing a game for a bit longer. She is cute and doesnt say anything, still i feel like i cant concentrate on games anymore; not that i neglect her in any way. I have many games i would love to play, but i just cant get into it anymore.

I am freshly married and i wanted to get some feedback from people married for a longer period; how youre feeling, how youre doing to find some free time between marriage and games ;)

 

I'm a little down the line, 5 years married, an avid gamer and a wife who just isn't bothered by it. As i've found its a real balance, its all too easy to dissapear into a game for hours without really noticing. I've found its about balance, it is healthy to spend time doing your own thing, just don't do it loads. It took me a while to talk with my wife for her to understand gaming as any other hobby. It actually helped me that i began talking about my gaming exploits, my wife didn't really understand what i was talking about initially but at least she began to see that it meant something to me.

You need to find your own way, but at the outset, depending on the history of your relationship before,its really worth the effort backing off games a little, or get a laptop and play next to her when she is doing her thing - that way you can always still talk.

GL, remember games will always be there, even if you ignore them for a long time.

Met many years ago playing d & d in college then latter in our married lives enjoyed mmo ing together.

 Easy way to do it is show her some of the more soical aspects of gaming  . Gaming has worked well for us and our kids were brought into gaming as well. Now they are are grown we are still gaming together. During their teenage years we had early days of networking and played A O and EQ together. It was fun , We had some great discusions at the dinner table about various games.

 How would anyone else understand not now hubby " i got a group"!!!

 Oh 27  married years together and still enjoying gaming and mmorpging together as well

Ive found its not  my wife thats a danger to my mmo time. Its the darn kids!

On a serious note, its something you'll get used to. My wife and I have been married for 6 years, and she used to feel guilty that she was being too needy and didnt want to cut into my game time. (when a woman says that, shes marriage material)

Basically I try to squeeze in time when shes busy doing other things, but when I notice shes doing nothing better than sitting on the couch flipping channels, its time to log out, and get in some quality time.

In some instances if theres something important going on in game, a guild event or whatnot, I let her know in advance, and make sure that in some way or another I make it up to her BEFORE the event.

Thanks for the feedback!

Well, i dont overdo it, but i feel it uncomfortable to play while i know she is sitting there, watching TV or doing her studies in another room. I can sit there for 2-3 hours, but even if she doesnt mind, i feel *bad* and are half the way always thinking "you should better NOT play and better do something with her"...

I work till 7 pm and its hard to cut out some time for gaming after social resonsibilities are finished.

Also i try to "buy" me time by doing things she likes usually before i go play a bit. I have some time consuming games laying around (i always like time consuming RPGs) but i dont dare to start them, because i dont want to neglect my wife.

But its interesting how you guys get along with it, when i was in my *old* relationship i never thought gaming as a hobby and a woman with different interests will work.

Notebook...hmm...nice idea.

PS: Arcken...i noticed that too, when she is doing her studies or surfing the web herself, its much easier, but when she sits there, zapping channels i just cant but to log off and throw a movie in.

PPS: I tried to get her into gaming by starting with flash games, but she loses interest very fast, sadly. Sims 2 looked very interesting, but she just cant get into those games.

PPS: Why is WoW so time consuming...and i love my Deathknight. But sooo few time.

My wife and I both game.  We spend a lot of our "quality time" together in-game.

Truth be told, she plays more than I do.

Only down side is that anything we want to play costs twice as much.

Originally posted by Dameonk

My wife and I both game.  We spend a lot of our "quality time" together in-game.

Truth be told, she plays more than I do.

Only down side is that anything we want to play costs twice as much.

My ex was also very much into games. Played more than i, but never admitted it. The irony is, i showed her how to play games, starting from lucasfilm adventures to WoW. Later i lost her to the internet, better said to some internet flirt; after several years she somehow prefered the net more than our time together. So i somehow also enjoy my wife not being much interested in social games.

Basically i know both "extremes".

Originally posted by grues0me

Thanks for the feedback!

Well, i dont overdo it, but i feel it uncomfortable to play while i know she is sitting there, watching TV or doing her studies in another room. I can sit there for 2-3 hours, but even if she doesnt mind, i feel *bad* and are half the way always thinking "you should better NOT play and better do something with her"...

I work till 7 pm and its hard to cut out some time for gaming after social resonsibilities are finished.

Also i try to "buy" me time by doing things she likes usually before i go play a bit. I have some time consuming games laying around (i always like time consuming RPGs) but i dont dare to start them, because i dont want to neglect my wife.

But its interesting how you guys get along with it, when i was in my *old* relationship i never thought gaming as a hobby and a woman with different interests will work.

Notebook...hmm...nice idea.

PS: Arcken...i noticed that too, when she is doing her studies or surfing the web herself, its much easier, but when she sits there, zapping channels i just cant but to log off and throw a movie in.

PPS: I tried to get her into gaming by starting with flash games, but she loses interest very fast, sadly. Sims 2 looked very interesting, but she just cant get into those games.

PPS: Why is WoW so time consuming...and i love my Deathknight. But sooo few time.

I've been married for 15 years and me and my wife both game.

The key to this is communicating (as in any relationship issue) You need to tell her about feeling a bit uncomfortable or even guilty at times when you game.

Set some ground rules and let her know that no matter what is going on, she can interupt.

Like others have said, they are just games. Your wife provides the yum, yum. Don't mess with that.