Star Wars Galaxies

Originally posted by Tenebroso

/signed in blood

 

i m so tired of these guys complaining and clogging the foruns with their tears and broken dreams. choose another game and move on people! 

The things we normally do about complainers and why they don’t work

There are several strategies people use around complainers, none of which really work.

1: Cheering them up doesn’t work
As in “Oh, it can’t be that bad”, “Come on, cheer up” or the perennial favorite “Time heals all wounds”.

Saying things like this shows the complainer that you’re not taking their pain seriously. When you tell a complainer “it’s not that bad”, he will often complain even harder to convince you (and himself) that his problems are very serious indeed.

2: Suggesting solutions doesn’t work
“Why don’t you…”, “have you tried…” or even worse “You should really have…”

The complainers’ problems are really serious and can’t be solved by a few smart-ass suggestions from you. Or so they’ve convinced themselves. The more you try to suggest solutions, the harder they will work to convince you and themselves that these solutions could never possibly work for them.

3: Telling them to pull themselves together doesn’t work
“Quit complaining and do something about it” or one of my favorites: “You either want the problem or you want the solution”.

Yeah, telling them that their problems are trivial and they just need to pull themselves together is going to work juuuuust fine. All complainers magically stop complaining at this. Or do they?

4: Complaining about the complainers doesn’t work
“Damn, that Sally complains a lot doesn’t she?”

Guess what, you just became a complainer

5: Ignoring them / avoiding them doesn’t work
This makes complainers clamor for attention even more - which usually makes people ignore them even more. That’s a vicious cycle right there.

6: Complaining along with them doesn’t work
“You know what, you’re right, the boss IS a jerk. And the weather sucks. In fact everything sucks.”

This can be kind of cosy because it creates bonding and an us-against-the-world feeling. But ultimately it’s a bad idea because the more people complain the less prone they are to doing something about their problems.

7: Confronting them doesn’t work
You can drive the complaints underground where you don’t see them, but they will probably still be going on. And repressed complaining is worse than open complaining because it gets to stew and grow while it’s hidden.

A trick that does work

So what does work? Here’s a simple but very effective trick:

A friend of mine who’s a dentist told me about an elderly, grouchy patient of hers. Every time he came in for an appointment he’d complain about the weather, his children, his car, taxes, society, and any other topic that might come up.

Now you might think “Hey, she’s a dentist, fill his mouth with gauze and cotton and let’s see him complain then!” but my friend is a naturally happy person and would instead try to cheer him up. Didn’t work, just made him complain even more.

So I taught her this trick and the next time he came in for an appointment she was ready. He went in the chair, and immediately started complaining.

After listening to his usual litany for a while my dentist friend said, with deep sympathy in her voice, “You know, that sounds terrible. I don’t know how you deal with all of these problems.”

You know what he said?

“Weeeeell, it’s not THAT bad!”

This approach works because it gives the complainer what he’s really after: Empathy. Not cheering up, not solutions, not egging-on. Just understanding of what is, for him, a difficult situation.

There are two important things to notice here:

1. Don’t be sarcastic when you say it. Be sincere.
2. You don’t have to agree that these are huge problems. Even if everything the complainer says sounds trivial to you, remember that it feels like a huge problem to him or her wouldn’t go on about it. What seems trivial to one person can be a huge problem for others.

So you’re not saying “Yes, I agree that’s a huge problem”. And you’re certainly not saying “Oh, poor poor you” in a sarcastic voice. You’re just acknowledging the fact that this is a huge problem for that person. Which undeniably it is.

Does this make the complaining go away? Only sometimes. But it keeps you from being part of a vicious cycle of responses that just makes the complainers complain more and more and more. The cycle is cut at the point you take their distress seriously.

And that ends my advice for the day.

Complaining about complainers... oh I luv that.

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Originally posted by Costanza420

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Originally posted by Fishermage

 

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Originally posted by Costanza420

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Originally posted by Fishermage
 
 

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Originally posted by Costanza420

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Originally posted by Fishermage
 
 
 
 

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Originally posted by Costanza420

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Originally posted by Fishermage
 
 
 
 

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Originally posted by Costanza420
 
 

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Originally posted by ArcAngel3
 
 

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Originally posted by Fishermage
 
 
 
 
 
 

---

 
 
Originally posted by Costanza420
 
 

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Originally posted by ArcAngel3
 
Also, man have you noticed the tremendous increase in "silence the vets" posts and comments since the announcement of the Bioware MMO?  Really seems to have stirred up a hornets' nest of SOE/SWG defenders.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

---

 
No. I haven't.
You are seriously imagining things. Get off your cross -- you are not this persecuted class of gamer you claim to be.
 
 
 
 
 
 

---

 
 
Wow, right on cue.
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Lol, well you must be right, there haven't been any silence the vet threads being posted recently at all (caution, don't read the title of this thread if you want to stick to your point of view--not you btw Fish, responding to the post above yours ^_^).
I've also just left three other threads with the same level of complaining about vets' complaining--ironically.  In my experience there are usually only one or two of those threads active on any given evening lol.
Anyways, I'm not sure what class you think I believe I'm a part of.  I don't feel particularly persecuted tbh--slightly defrauded a few years back maybe, but not persecuted.  I also don't take "you need to stop talking about how bad SOE is" comments as persecution.  Driving to work provides more persecution than this.
If they threatened me if I wouldn't stop using free speech, well then I'd feel persecuted, but that's never happened.
Freedom of expression is a good thing in my mind.  I wouldn't want to silence anyone who currently enjoys SWG for example.  Trying to silence people who disagree with you is kind of dictatorial isn't it?
 
 
 
 
 
 

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You said "tremendous increase." There has been no "tremendous increase."
 
 
 
 

---

I'd say you are wrong, and there's been a tremendous increase of people attacking vets for the sake of attacking them, whining about whining, and just a general shrillness to the NGE fans' tone.
 
It's so much fun watching all this play out, although the hate is pretty sad.
 
 
 
 

---

 
The persecution complex around here is stunning.
 
 

---

 
Explain how what you see here is a "persecution complex?"
First, define your term. Then please demonstrate how where you see it, Then please how how it is "stunning."
 
 

---

The people around here seem to feel that extraordinary measures are being taken to "silence" them, which I just don't see.
OK, a person posted a thread to stop whining. And every so often, someone will wander in and say "GET OVER IT." BIG DEAL. But you guys act like there is some kind of organized viral marketing campaign against you (in fact, anyone who does not agree 100% with the idea that John Smedley is Hitler reincarnated and the game is the worst thing since AIDS is labaled a "viral marketer").
There is no organized viral marketing campaign against the "vets", because the "vets" are largely irrelevant. A couple hundred people shrieking for Smedley's head on a pike on an internet forum is an annoyance to them, at best.

---

 
If what you say is true, then why do you need to lie and engage in hyperbole to make a point?

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Now I'm lying? About what?

---

No one said anyone is taking any measures to silence anyone. You are just making things up. What Arcangel said was more than the usual number of folks have taken to the boards and posted more than the usual "silence the vets" posts. That's a completely different thing than what you are saying. Now, I am assuming you are bright enough to know this, therefore, you are willfully falsifying the facts; ie, lying.
 
I'm sorry if you only inadvertently or accidentally falsified the facts. I took it to be intentional.

---

Is this some kind of joke? People post ALL THE TIME on this forum about how the "fanbois" are trying to "silence" the "vets."
Don't accuse me of lying because you're unwilling to face that.

---

Please show me one example anywhere where anyone accuses anyone of taking extreme measures to silence anyone.

Saying that they are TRYING to silence people isn't the same thing, but just for fun, how about you show me what you mean when you say that. Oh wait...is English a not your native language? If not, I'm sorry, I didn't realize.

All or most games have whine threads here. But the moderators should close all troll threads fast since they are just a waste of space, if someone whine with a good argument that we havnt seen a 100 times, then its not a troll and should be lefy alone.

But I think the mods here is a bit to nice sometimes, it is hard to find the real threads sometimes. But I agree with the OP and that goes for every game not just about Bioware vs SWG.

Originally posted by Fishermage

 

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Originally posted by Costanza420

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Originally posted by Fishermage

 

 

---

Originally posted by Costanza420

---

Originally posted by Fishermage
 
 

 

 

---

 

Originally posted by Costanza420

---

 

Originally posted by Fishermage
 
 
 
 

---

 
Originally posted by Costanza420

 

 

---

 
Originally posted by Fishermage
 
 
 
 

 

 

---

 

 
Originally posted by Costanza420
 
 

---

 

 
Originally posted by ArcAngel3
 
 

---

 

 
Originally posted by Fishermage
 
 
 
 
 
 

---

 
 
Originally posted by Costanza420
 
 

 

 

---

 
 
Originally posted by ArcAngel3
 
Also, man have you noticed the tremendous increase in "silence the vets" posts and comments since the announcement of the Bioware MMO?  Really seems to have stirred up a hornets' nest of SOE/SWG defenders.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

---

 
No. I haven't.
You are seriously imagining things. Get off your cross -- you are not this persecuted class of gamer you claim to be.
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

---

 
 
Wow, right on cue.
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

---

Lol, well you must be right, there haven't been any silence the vet threads being posted recently at all (caution, don't read the title of this thread if you want to stick to your point of view--not you btw Fish, responding to the post above yours ^_^).
I've also just left three other threads with the same level of complaining about vets' complaining--ironically.  In my experience there are usually only one or two of those threads active on any given evening lol.
Anyways, I'm not sure what class you think I believe I'm a part of.  I don't feel particularly persecuted tbh--slightly defrauded a few years back maybe, but not persecuted.  I also don't take "you need to stop talking about how bad SOE is" comments as persecution.  Driving to work provides more persecution than this.
If they threatened me if I wouldn't stop using free speech, well then I'd feel persecuted, but that's never happened.
Freedom of expression is a good thing in my mind.  I wouldn't want to silence anyone who currently enjoys SWG for example.  Trying to silence people who disagree with you is kind of dictatorial isn't it?
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

---

You said "tremendous increase." There has been no "tremendous increase."
 
 
 
 

 

 

---

I'd say you are wrong, and there's been a tremendous increase of people attacking vets for the sake of attacking them, whining about whining, and just a general shrillness to the NGE fans' tone.
 
It's so much fun watching all this play out, although the hate is pretty sad.
 
 
 
 

 

 

---

 
The persecution complex around here is stunning.
 
 

 

 

---

 
Explain how what you see here is a "persecution complex?"
First, define your term. Then please demonstrate how where you see it, Then please how how it is "stunning."
 
 

 

 

---

The people around here seem to feel that extraordinary measures are being taken to "silence" them, which I just don't see.
OK, a person posted a thread to stop whining. And every so often, someone will wander in and say "GET OVER IT." BIG DEAL. But you guys act like there is some kind of organized viral marketing campaign against you (in fact, anyone who does not agree 100% with the idea that John Smedley is Hitler reincarnated and the game is the worst thing since AIDS is labaled a "viral marketer").
There is no organized viral marketing campaign against the "vets", because the "vets" are largely irrelevant. A couple hundred people shrieking for Smedley's head on a pike on an internet forum is an annoyance to them, at best.

 

 

---

 
If what you say is true, then why do you need to lie and engage in hyperbole to make a point?

 

 

---

Now I'm lying? About what?

---

No one said anyone is taking any measures to silence anyone. You are just making things up. What Arcangel said was more than the usual number of folks have taken to the boards and posted more than the usual "silence the vets" posts. That's a completely different thing than what you are saying. Now, I am assuming you are bright enough to know this, therefore, you are willfully falsifying the facts; ie, lying.
 
I'm sorry if you only inadvertently or accidentally falsified the facts. I took it to be intentional.

---

Is this some kind of joke? People post ALL THE TIME on this forum about how the "fanbois" are trying to "silence" the "vets."
Don't accuse me of lying because you're unwilling to face that.

---

 

Please show me one example anywhere where anyone accuses anyone of taking extreme measures to silence anyone.

Saying that they are TRYING to silence people isn't the same thing, but just for fun, how about you show me what you mean when you say that. Oh wait...is English a not your native language? If not, I'm sorry, I didn't realize.

Originally posted by ArcAngel3
 
Also, man have you noticed the tremendous increase in "silence the vets" posts and comments since the announcement of the Bioware MMO?  Really seems to have stirred up a hornets' nest of SOE/SWG defenders.

You should be more condescending, it's quite a nice character trait you've got there.

---

Originally posted by Costanza420

---

Originally posted by Fishermage

 

---

Originally posted by Costanza420

---

Originally posted by Fishermage
 
 

---

Originally posted by Costanza420

---

Originally posted by Fishermage
 
 
 
 

---

 
Originally posted by Costanza420

---

 
Originally posted by Fishermage
 
 
 
 

---

 
Originally posted by Costanza420
 
 

---

 
Originally posted by Fishermage
 
 
 
 
 
 

---

 
 
Originally posted by Costanza420
 
 

---

 
 
Originally posted by ArcAngel3
 
 

---

 
 
Originally posted by Fishermage
 
 
 
 
 
 

---

 
 
Originally posted by Costanza420
 
 
 
 

---

 
 
Originally posted by ArcAngel3
 
Also, man have you noticed the tremendous increase in "silence the vets" posts and comments since the announcement of the Bioware MMO?  Really seems to have stirred up a hornets' nest of SOE/SWG defenders.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

---

 
No. I haven't.
You are seriously imagining things. Get off your cross -- you are not this persecuted class of gamer you claim to be.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

---

 
 
Wow, right on cue.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

---

Lol, well you must be right, there haven't been any silence the vet threads being posted recently at all (caution, don't read the title of this thread if you want to stick to your point of view--not you btw Fish, responding to the post above yours ^_^).
I've also just left three other threads with the same level of complaining about vets' complaining--ironically.  In my experience there are usually only one or two of those threads active on any given evening lol.
Anyways, I'm not sure what class you think I believe I'm a part of.  I don't feel particularly persecuted tbh--slightly defrauded a few years back maybe, but not persecuted.  I also don't take "you need to stop talking about how bad SOE is" comments as persecution.  Driving to work provides more persecution than this.
If they threatened me if I wouldn't stop using free speech, well then I'd feel persecuted, but that's never happened.
Freedom of expression is a good thing in my mind.  I wouldn't want to silence anyone who currently enjoys SWG for example.  Trying to silence people who disagree with you is kind of dictatorial isn't it?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

---

You said "tremendous increase." There has been no "tremendous increase."
 
 
 
 
 
 

---

I'd say you are wrong, and there's been a tremendous increase of people attacking vets for the sake of attacking them, whining about whining, and just a general shrillness to the NGE fans' tone.
 
It's so much fun watching all this play out, although the hate is pretty sad.
 
 
 
 
 
 

---

 
The persecution complex around here is stunning.
 
 
 
 

---

 
Explain how what you see here is a "persecution complex?"
First, define your term. Then please demonstrate how where you see it, Then please how how it is "stunning."
 
 
 
 

---

The people around here seem to feel that extraordinary measures are being taken to "silence" them, which I just don't see.
OK, a person posted a thread to stop whining. And every so often, someone will wander in and say "GET OVER IT." BIG DEAL. But you guys act like there is some kind of organized viral marketing campaign against you (in fact, anyone who does not agree 100% with the idea that John Smedley is Hitler reincarnated and the game is the worst thing since AIDS is labaled a "viral marketer").
There is no organized viral marketing campaign against the "vets", because the "vets" are largely irrelevant. A couple hundred people shrieking for Smedley's head on a pike on an internet forum is an annoyance to them, at best.
 
 

---

 
If what you say is true, then why do you need to lie and engage in hyperbole to make a point?
 
 

---

Now I'm lying? About what?

---

No one said anyone is taking any measures to silence anyone. You are just making things up. What Arcangel said was more than the usual number of folks have taken to the boards and posted more than the usual "silence the vets" posts. That's a completely different thing than what you are saying. Now, I am assuming you are bright enough to know this, therefore, you are willfully falsifying the facts; ie, lying.
 
I'm sorry if you only inadvertently or accidentally falsified the facts. I took it to be intentional.

---

Is this some kind of joke? People post ALL THE TIME on this forum about how the "fanbois" are trying to "silence" the "vets."
Don't accuse me of lying because you're unwilling to face that.

---

 
Please show me one example anywhere where anyone accuses anyone of taking extreme measures to silence anyone.
Saying that they are TRYING to silence people isn't the same thing, but just for fun, how about you show me what you mean when you say that. Oh wait...is English a not your native language? If not, I'm sorry, I didn't realize.

---

 
Originally posted by ArcAngel3
 
Also, man have you noticed the tremendous increase in "silence the vets" posts and comments since the announcement of the Bioware MMO?  Really seems to have stirred up a hornets' nest of SOE/SWG defenders.
You should be more condescending, it's quite a nice character trait you've got there.

---

So I gather English is not your native language. let me explain then. Making posts that express a desire and "taking extreme measures" should not be considered to be the same thing. "Taking extreme measures" u