As the recently crowned king of the off topic forum (crowned by his majesty myself)  I am here to make a few decrees for this forum.  Follow these laws and I will not have to smite thee!

1:  In accordance with the "don't annoy me" laws of 2006, I hereby decree that all links be LINKS...rather than a URL that I must copy and paste myself...no longer will I be forced to copy and paste something just because you were too lazy to hit the space bar!  THE KING HATH SPOKEN

2:  If a poster attempts to say something sarcastic, and it is not BLATANTLY obvious ( ie. a smiley face all around the post and/or something completely and totally stupid that nobody will think they are serious) that poster will henceforth be required to put a "/sarcasm" before AND after where the supposed sarcasm layeth in the post.  This will clear up misconceptions and render the "I was just being sarcastic" excuse a thing of the past!  THE KING HATH SPOKEN

3:  No poster will blame Bush for anything other than what Bush has done directly!  Further claims that Bush ruined the economy of this country will be dealt with via a swift slap to the face with a book about economics and government!  In addition...any threads and/or posts with strings of George Bushisms of screwed up speech text or just plain bad grammar will be met with a list of Clintonisms!  THIS can include the famous "that depends on what the meaning is the word IS...is."

4:  Grammar nazi's will only be tolerated if the poster's post was borderline unreadable!  Though an annoying bastardization of the English language they might be, a comma splice is not something worth posting about!  In addition, anyone who misspells a word longer than 6 letters wrong will NOT be made fun of!  HOWEVER:  posters who use the number 4 to mean the word FOR, can and WILL be reported for annoying internet style stupidity! (this includes using the letter U for the word YOU)

5:  All threads created by Outfcntrl may be met with a high degree of hostility...but anyone saying anything about "neo cons'' and kool aid will be flogged...lest you desire the "neo cons'' to begin calling you "liberal pussies"!!  The king HATH SPOKEN

6:  The arguing of semantics and word orders at the expense of the issue at hand will not be tolerated!  If you change the subject because you know that you are wrong, you will be riticuled by those of us who see through your bullshit!  Admit when you are wrong and move on!  Do not change the argument when you feel like you're losing!  This includes declarations such as "well that's just your opinion"  OF COURSE IT'S THEIR OPINION YOU IDIOT...THIS IS A FORUM...IT'S ALMOST NOTHING BUT OPINIONS.....the king hath spoken

7:  Posting the lyrics to a Tool song in the middle of a thread for no apparent reason shall NOT be considered hijacking...Maynard James Keenan > you, and therefore his art may be placed anywhere it may find itself...if you report someone for hijacking after they post a Tool song, you will be reported for being a complete douche bag!

8:  No forum member is allowed to talk about a specific religion unless they know what the hell they are talking about!  The king is tired of seeing fools posting about the Bible when they know nothing of it!  And the King knows that other members are tired of other religions being misrepresented by ignorance as well!  So knock it off!  Let the people who know the answers, give them.

9:  There beith only one right and righteous trilogy in the kingdom, as the prophet Randal Graves sayeth "there is only one return...and it is OF THE JEDI!!" 

10:  All posters who preempt their post by saying "this is off topic" will be flogged.  This is an off topic forum!  We know your post will be off topic!  You cannot be off topic when posting in an off topic forum!  That is redundant, the King HATES REDUNDANCY.  In addition, those posters who sign their name at the bottom of their post, other than in their actual forum signature, will be flogged.  Your name is 2 inches from the left hand border of our screens, we don't need to see it at the bottom of your post!

THE KING HATH SPOKEN

now dance midget!  DANCE!

Originally posted by Draenor

As the recently crowned king of the off topic forum (crowned by his majesty myself)  I am here to make a few decrees for this forum.  Follow these laws and I will not have to smite thee!

 

1:  In accordance with the "don't annoy me" laws of 2006, I hereby decree that all links be LINKS...rather than a URL that I must copy and paste myself...no longer will I be forced to copy and paste something just because you were too lazy to hit the space bar!  THE KING HATH SPOKEN

2:  If a poster attempts to say something sarcastic, and it is not BLATANTLY obvious ( ie. a smiley face all around the post and/or something completely and totally stupid that nobody will think they are serious) that poster will henceforth be required to put a "/sarcasm" before AND after where the supposed sarcasm layeth in the post.  This will clear up misconceptions and render the "I was just being sarcastic" excuse a thing of the past!  THE KING HATH SPOKEN

3:  No poster will blame Bush for anything other than what Bush has done directly!  Further claims that Bush ruined the economy of this country will be dealt with via a swift slap to the face with a book about economics and government!  In addition...any threads and/or posts with strings of George Bushisms of screwed up speech text or just plain bad grammar will be met with a list of Clintonisms!  THIS can include the famous "that depends on what the meaning is the word IS...is."

4:  Grammar nazi's will only be tolerated if the poster's post was borderline unreadable!  Though an annoying bastardization of the English language they might be, a comma splice is not something worth posting about!  In addition, anyone who misspells a word longer than 6 letters wrong will NOT be made fun of!  HOWEVER:  posters who use the number 4 to mean the word FOR, can and WILL be reported for annoying internet style stupidity! (this includes using the letter U for the word YOU)

5:  All threads created by Outfcntrl may be met with a high degree of hostility...but anyone saying anything about "neo cons'' and kool aid will be flogged...lest you desire the "neo cons'' to begin calling you "liberal pussies"!!  The king HATH SPOKEN

6:  The arguing of semantics and word orders at the expense of the issue at hand will not be tolerated!  If you change the subject because you know that you are wrong, you will be riticuled by those of us who see through your bullshit!  Admit when you are wrong and move on!  Do not change the argument when you feel like you're losing!  This includes declarations such as "well that's just your opinion"  OF COURSE IT'S THEIR OPINION YOU IDIOT...THIS IS A FORUM...IT'S ALMOST NOTHING BUT OPINIONS.....the king hath spoken

7:  Posting the lyrics to a Tool song in the middle of a thread for no apparent reason shall NOT be considered hijacking...Maynard James Keenan > you, and therefore his art may be placed anywhere it may find itself...if you report someone for hijacking after they post a Tool song, you will be reported for being a complete douche bag!

8:  No forum member is allowed to talk about a specific religion unless they know what the hell they are talking about!  The king is tired of seeing fools posting about the Bible when they know nothing of it!  And the King knows that other members are tired of other religions being misrepresented by ignorance as well!  So knock it off!  Let the people who know the answers, give them.

9:  There beith only one right and righteous trilogy in the kingdom, as the prophet Randal Graves sayeth "there is only one return...and it is OF THE JEDI!!" 

10:  All posters who preempt their post by saying "this is off topic" will be flogged.  This is an off topic forum!  We know your post will be off topic!  You cannot be off topic when posting in an off topic forum!  That is redundant, the King HATES REDUNDANCY.  In addition, those posters who sign their name at the bottom of their post, other than in their actual forum signature, will be flogged.  Your name is 2 inches from the left hand border of our screens, we don't need to see it at the bottom of your post!

THE KING HATH SPOKEN

now dance midget!  DANCE!

THE KING IS DEAD. LONG LIVE THE KING!

I, as a loyal subject, would also like to see a reply button placed on the topic list page, i feel so sorry for all the peope who have to read the topic title, click to the last page and post a reply without reading the OPs post. These people must be extraordinarily lazy, and to make them click another two times two reply to something they are never going to read anyway, it just seems unfair......

whoops sorry forgot the

/sarcasm.

Is that 10 lashings Draenor, ill do em myself if you like

---

Originally posted by Draenor
5: All threads created by Outfcntrl may be met with a high degree of hostility...but anyone saying anything about "neo cons'' and kool aid will be flogged...lest you desire the "neo cons'' to begin calling you "liberal pussies"!! The king HATH SPOKEN

---

People are free to call me a liberal pussy all they want. Of course, until they can provide a post detailing my voting record, or ya know, something that proves that they have clue fucking one about me, they're equally free to choke on my cock.

Or I can stab them in the face a lot.

Either way.

P.S. He'll never be as good a troll as Anne Coulter. It's all in the adams apple.

Originally posted by Nasica

Originally posted by Draenor

As the recently crowned king of the off topic forum (crowned by his majesty myself)  I am here to make a few decrees for this forum.  Follow these laws and I will not have to smite thee!

 

1:  In accordance with the "don't annoy me" laws of 2006, I hereby decree that all links be LINKS...rather than a URL that I must copy and paste myself...no longer will I be forced to copy and paste something just because you were too lazy to hit the space bar!  THE KING HATH SPOKEN

2:  If a poster attempts to say something sarcastic, and it is not BLATANTLY obvious ( ie. a smiley face all around the post and/or something completely and totally stupid that nobody will think they are serious) that poster will henceforth be required to put a "/sarcasm" before AND after where the supposed sarcasm layeth in the post.  This will clear up misconceptions and render the "I was just being sarcastic" excuse a thing of the past!  THE KING HATH SPOKEN

3:  No poster will blame Bush for anything other than what Bush has done directly!  Further claims that Bush ruined the economy of this country will be dealt with via a swift slap to the face with a book about economics and government!  In addition...any threads and/or posts with strings of George Bushisms of screwed up speech text or just plain bad grammar will be met with a list of Clintonisms!  THIS can include the famous "that depends on what the meaning is the word IS...is."

4:  Grammar nazi's will only be tolerated if the poster's post was borderline unreadable!  Though an annoying bastardization of the English language they might be, a comma splice is not something worth posting about!  In addition, anyone who misspells a word longer than 6 letters wrong will NOT be made fun of!  HOWEVER:  posters who use the number 4 to mean the word FOR, can and WILL be reported for annoying internet style stupidity! (this includes using the letter U for the word YOU)

5:  All threads created by Outfcntrl may be met with a high degree of hostility...but anyone saying anything about "neo cons'' and kool aid will be flogged...lest you desire the "neo cons'' to begin calling you "liberal pussies"!!  The king HATH SPOKEN

6:  The arguing of semantics and word orders at the expense of the issue at hand will not be tolerated!  If you change the subject because you know that you are wrong, you will be riticuled by those of us who see through your bullshit!  Admit when you are wrong and move on!  Do not change the argument when you feel like you're losing!  This includes declarations such as "well that's just your opinion"  OF COURSE IT'S THEIR OPINION YOU IDIOT...THIS IS A FORUM...IT'S ALMOST NOTHING BUT OPINIONS.....the king hath spoken

7:  Posting the lyrics to a Tool song in the middle of a thread for no apparent reason shall NOT be considered hijacking...Maynard James Keenan > you, and therefore his art may be placed anywhere it may find itself...if you report someone for hijacking after they post a Tool song, you will be reported for being a complete douche bag!

8:  No forum member is allowed to talk about a specific religion unless they know what the hell they are talking about!  The king is tired of seeing fools posting about the Bible when they know nothing of it!  And the King knows that other members are tired of other religions being misrepresented by ignorance as well!  So knock it off!  Let the people who know the answers, give them.

9:  There beith only one right and righteous trilogy in the kingdom, as the prophet Randal Graves sayeth "there is only one return...and it is OF THE JEDI!!" 

10:  All posters who preempt their post by saying "this is off topic" will be flogged.  This is an off topic forum!  We know your post will be off topic!  You cannot be off topic when posting in an off topic forum!  That is redundant, the King HATES REDUNDANCY.  In addition, those posters who sign their name at the bottom of their post, other than in their actual forum signature, will be flogged.  Your name is 2 inches from the left hand border of our screens, we don't need to see it at the bottom of your post!

THE KING HATH SPOKEN

now dance midget!  DANCE!

THE KING IS DEAD. LONG LIVE THE KING!

I, as a loyal subject, would also like to see a reply button placed on the topic list page, i feel so sorry for all the peope who have to read the topic title, click to the last page and post a reply without reading the OPs post. These people must be extraordinarily lazy, and to make them click another two times two reply to something they are never going to read anyway, it just seems unfair......

whoops sorry forgot the

/sarcasm.

Is that 10 lashings Draenor, ill do em myself if you like

Curses...The king forgot the consequences of transgression for his highness' rules!

Since you commited a minor infraction, and because you post intelligent things, you may be let off with a warning.  Let it never be said that your King is not one of forgiveness and benevolence!  HOWEVER...if new forum posters continually violate these rules, I will be forced to flog them vigorously...for days at a time. 

Originally posted by Coldmeat

 

---

Originally posted by Draenor
5: All threads created by Outfcntrl may be met with a high degree of hostility...but anyone saying anything about "neo cons'' and kool aid will be flogged...lest you desire the "neo cons'' to begin calling you "liberal pussies"!! The king HATH SPOKEN

---

 

People are free to call me a liberal pussy all they want. Of course, until they can provide a post detailing my voting record, or ya know, something that proves that they have clue fucking one about me, they're equally free to choke on my cock.

Or I can stab them in the face a lot.

Either way.

P.S. He'll never be as good a troll as Anne Coulter. It's all in the adams apple.

Reported for taking my thread too seriously!!  You, my good sir, need to lighten up!

The king HATH SPOKEN!!

Originally posted by xpyrofuryx
I nominate this thread as a sticky!

Originally posted by Coldmeat

 

---

Originally posted by Draenor
5: All threads created by Outfcntrl may be met with a high degree of hostility...but anyone saying anything about "neo cons'' and kool aid will be flogged...lest you desire the "neo cons'' to begin calling you "liberal pussies"!! The king HATH SPOKEN

---

 

People are free to call me a liberal pussy all they want. Of course, until they can provide a post detailing my voting record, or ya know, something that proves that they have clue fucking one about me, they're equally free to choke on my cock.

Or I can stab them in the face a lot.

Either way.

P.S. He'll never be as good a troll as Anne Coulter. It's all in the adams apple.

Sorry to hijack such a royal thread....

But i dont get the whole neo-con koolaid thing.... It must be an Americanism although i did have the word liberal redefined from razor recently so who knows, when it comes to words.... i am an idiot, could someone please explain it all to me, the koolaid thing ?

Originally posted by Nasica

Originally posted by Coldmeat

 

---

Originally posted by Draenor
5: All threads created by Outfcntrl may be met with a high degree of hostility...but anyone saying anything about "neo cons'' and kool aid will be flogged...lest you desire the "neo cons'' to begin calling you "liberal pussies"!! The king HATH SPOKEN

---

 

People are free to call me a liberal pussy all they want. Of course, until they can provide a post detailing my voting record, or ya know, something that proves that they have clue fucking one about me, they're equally free to choke on my cock.

Or I can stab them in the face a lot.

Either way.

P.S. He'll never be as good a troll as Anne Coulter. It's all in the adams apple.

Sorry to hijack such a royal thread....

But i dont get the whole neo-con koolaid thing.... It must be an Americanism although i did have the word liberal redefined from razor recently so who knows, when it comes to words.... i am an idiot, could someone please explain it all to me, the koolaid thing ?

"Kool Aid drinker" refers to the cult following of Jim Jones, who is best known for giving his followers cyanide laced Kool Aid in an attempt to commit a mass suicide.

LET THE TOOL LYRICS COMMENCE

I am hijacking my own thread until this gets stickied.

Something has to change.
Un-deniable dilemma.
Boredoms not a burden
Anyone should bear.

Constant over stimulation numbs me
But I wouldnt want you
Any other way.

Just, not enough.
I need more.
Nothing seems to satisfy.
I said, I dont want it.
I just need it.
To breathe, to feel, to know Im alive.

Finger deep within the borderline.
Show me that you love me and that we belong together.
Relax, turn around and take my hand.

I can help you change
Tired moments into pleasure.
Say the word and well be
Well upon our way.

Blend and balance
Pain and comfort
Deep within you
Till you will not want me any other way.

But, its not enough.
I need more.
Nothing seems to satisfy.
I said, I dont want it.
I just need it.
To breathe, to feel, to know Im alive.

Knuckle deep inside the borderline.
This may hurt a little but its something youll get used to.
Relax. slip away.

Something kinda sad about
The way that things have come to be.
Desensitized to everything.
What became of subtlety?

How can it mean anything to me
If I really dont feel anything at all?

Ill keep digging till,
I feel something.

Elbow deep inside the borderline.
Show me that you love me and that we belong together.
Shoulder deep within the borderline.
Relax. turn around and take my hand.

---

Originally posted by Draenor
Reported for taking my thread too seriously!! You, my good sir, need to lighten up!

The king HATH SPOKEN!!

---

I can't. Ever since that unfortunate accident involving a large dose of LSD, a bag of Twizzlers, and a quickie mart, I've been fairly free of the Earth's gravitational pull. The sheer weight of my humorlessness is the only thing keeping me from floating off into space.

And I pointedly refuse to use sarcasm tags in protest. Doing so would remove the simplest way to get some slackwit lacking basic inference, or reading comprehension skills to make a kneejerk posts in reaction, thus opening to door to wicked mean flaming. As for trying to play the sarcasm card to weasel out of something said? Bollocks. I firmly stand behind everything I say. Even the genocidal bits.

Originally posted by Coldmeat

I can't. Ever since that unfortunate accident involving a large dose of LSD, a bag of Twizzlers, and a quickie mart, I've been fairly free of the Earth's gravitational pull. The sheer weight of my humorlessness is the only thing keeping me from floating off into space.

And I pointedly refuse to use sarcasm tags in protest. Doing so would remove the simplest way to get some slackwit lacking basic inference, or reading comprehension skills to make a kneejerk posts in reaction, thus opening to door to wicked mean flaming. As for trying to play the sarcasm card to weasel out of something said? Bollocks. I firmly stand behind everything I say. Even the genocidal bits.

 

The king was about to award the wittyness of the first paragraph, unfortuntely you disagreed with a rule in the second paragraph.

As I said, gifted writers may use sarcasm as long as it is well used and easily picked up by those of us with IQ's in the triple digits...However it is not to be used as an excuse by our less intelligent posters to get out of a situation in which they have been proven to be a jerk off by the rest of the community!

And the angel of the Lord came unto me, snatching me up from my place of slumber.
And took me on high, And higher still until we moved to the spaces betwixt the air itself.
And he brought me into a vast farmlands of our own Midwest.
And as we descended, cries of impending doom rose from the soil.
One thousand, nay a million voices full of fear.
And terror possessed me then.
And I begged, "Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?"
And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!
You see, Reverend Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust."
And I sprang from my slumber drenched in sweat like the tears of one million terrified brothers and roared, "Hear me now, I have seen the light!
They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you!
Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers!" Can I get an amen? Can I get a hallelujah? Thank you Jesus.

I do, however, support Tool quotes.

Originally posted by Coldmeat

And the angel of the Lord came unto me, snatching me up from my place of slumber.
And took me on high, And higher still until we moved to the spaces betwixt the air itself.
And he brought me into a vast farmlands of our own Midwest.
And as we descended, cries of impending doom rose from the soil.
One thousand, nay a million voices full of fear.
And terror possessed me then.
And I begged, "Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?"
And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!
You see, Reverend Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust."
And I sprang from my slumber drenched in sweat like the tears of one million terrified brothers and roared, "Hear me now, I have seen the light!
They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you!
Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers!" Can I get an amen? Can I get a hallelujah? Thank you Jesus.

I do, however, support Tool quotes.

Originally posted by Rikimaru_X
You know there has just been a price for your head that just came up...

Someday the mods will read this thread, and they will be so awestruck by the lord their King...they will endow the king with the powers of moderation that have been passed down for generations among forum posters world wide.

You'll be the first person that I perma-ban.

Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will.
I sure could use a vacation from this

Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks

Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any fucking time. Any fucking day.
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.

Fret for your figure and
Fret for your latte and
Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your prozac and
Fret for your pilot and
Fret for your contract and
Fret for your car.

It's a
Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks

Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any fucking time. Any fucking day.
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.

Some say a comet will fall from the sky.
Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves.
Followed by faultlines that cannot sit still.
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits.

Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will cuz
I sure could use a vacation from this

Stupid shit, silly shit, stupid shit...

One great big festering neon distraction,
I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied.

Learn to swim.
Learn to swim.
Learn to swim.

Mom is going to fix it all soon,
Mom is coming round to put it back
the way it oughtta be...

Learn to swim.

Fuck L Ron Hubbard and
Fuck all his clones.
Fuck all these gun-toting
Hip gangster wannabes.

Learn to swim.

Fuck retro anything.
Fuck your tattoos.
Fuck all you junkies and
Fuck your short memory.

Learn to swim.

Fuck smiley glad-hands
With hidden agendas.
Fuck these dysfunctional,
Insecure actresses.

Learn to swim.

Cuz I'm praying for rain
And I'm praying for tidal waves
I wanna see the ground give way.
I wanna watch it all go down.
Mom please flush it all away.
I wanna see it go right in and down.
I wanna watch it go right in.
Watch you flush it all away.

Time to bring it down again.
Don't just call me pessimist.
Try and read between the lines.*

I can't imagine why you wouldn't
Welcome any change, my friend.

I wanna see it all come down.
suck it down.
flush it down.

*Probably my favorite lines out of all Tool songs.
This song would also be in my top 5 songs of all time

---

Originally posted by Draenor
Disgustipated is one of the King's greatest guilty pleasure! How the King delights in telling people of the intracacies of this tongue and cheek mockery of religion!

---

Mine would be:

Compassion is broken now. wounds, theyre openin now.
Desire is broken now. makes me feel ugly.
On my knees and burning. my piss and moans are fuel that set my head on fire.
I set my head on fire. smell my soul, its burning.
Broken, lookin up I see the enemy.
And I have swallowed the poison you feed me.
But I survived on the poison you feed me.
Guilt fed. hatred fed. weakness fed.
It makes me feel ugly.
Im on my knees, Im burning. my piss and moans are human.
I set my head on fire. Im dead inside.
Shit adds up. shit adds up. shit adds up.
Shit adds up at the bottom.

(By Henry Rollins)If I let you, you would make me destroy myself. in order to survive you, I must first survive myself. I can sink no further, and I cannot forgive you. Theres no choice but to confront you, to engage you, to erase you. I've gone to great lengths to expand my threshold of pain. I will use my mistakes against you. There is no other choice. Shameless now. Nameless now. Nothing now. No one now. But my soul must be iron cause my fear is naked. I'm naked and fearless, and my fear is naked.

Dead inside...
Nameless now. shameless now. nothing now. no one now.
(shit adds up) as you see me naked now. fearless now.
Naked now. fearless now.
(shit adds up) it leaves me dead inside! dead inside!

Hatred keeps me alive. hunger has kept me alive.
Weakness keeps me alive. guilt keeps me alive at the bottom.

Purely for the Henry Rollins bit in the middle.

Originally posted by AlexAmore