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Samhain's Zergwatch

Samhain's Zergwatch is a blog that started in 2006 on a different gaming community server and has since evolved into www.zergwatch.com, a place to gather my twisted thoughts on the whole mess. Explore the oozing underbelly of gaming with me.

Author: zergwatch

The Daily Zerg - 12/01 - Today is Cyber Monday!

Posted by zergwatch Sunday November 30 2008 at 11:29PM
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The Daily Zerg is my collection of thoughts about what I feel are the most interesting news items that come across the wire at www.zergwatch.com each day.  Today's report isbeing filed in advance since I will be AFK on Monday. 

Today is Cyber Monday
After a death toll of 3 on Black Friday, the annual brick and mortar shopping zerg rush, Today is Cyber Monday. On Cyber Monday 40 year olds take time away from their online extra-marital affairs in search of online savings. It kind of takes away all the fun of watching parents stampede pregnant women to be the first one to buy their kids a Hannah Montana doll.

Investigating the trampling
On Friday, people trampled the crap out of each other across the nation in what has become the United States version of the Running of the Bulls or the Pilgrimage to Mecca. The tradition started over 20 years ago with Cabbage Patch Kids frenzy back in the 1980's where parents literally beat this shit out of each other over the dumpy looking dolls. What was so important this year that made people wait outside of a Wal-Mart with hundreds of other drool cup retards at 2am in 30 degree weather? This year's fights were mostly over Nintendo Wii, Webkinz and XBox 360. Sorry Sony, but nobody cares enough to stampede pregnant women for a PS3.

Man kills his father for MMORPG micro transactions
A Netherlands based website, HotFrog.NL reports that a Chinese man has been sentenced to death for the 2007 poisoning murder of his father in July of 2007. This wasn't the first time the man tried to off his dad. Just one month earlier, he tried to poison him, but that attempt failed. HotFrog claims that the incident was related to $7,000 the man borrowed from his family to open his own seafood business, but instead squandered the money on real money transactions in an MMORPG. He is now appealing based on mental illness.. online gaming addiction. If he succeeds, this could open the door for mental illness amnesty in cases where spousal assaults arising from such things as raid interruptions to MMORPG induced child neglect.

Accused PS murderer goes to trial
Jonquel Brooks began court hearings last week involving his 2007 murder of Brant Daniels. Daniels and some friends went to Brook's apartment over an alleged Playstation console theft. Brooks then shot the place up, killing Daniels and wounding several others. He has plead not guilty to one count of murder and multiple accounts of manslaughter. "Possession is 9/10ths the law and that shit was in my possession. I defended my possession, so I went all CJ Johnson on that."

Lucifer's Toy Chest
Just as the internet wacko's begin to ban video games in time for the 2008 Holiday season, Lucifer's Toy Chest presents their own list of 2008's banned toys, which include several video games and video game accessories. I haven't been this completely baffled by a website since 1998. It seems like satire that borders on the edge of reality which is some pretty fuckin scary shit. http://www.landoverbaptist.org/2008/december/lucifertoychest2008.html

World of Warcraft expansion shatters sales records
I needed to include a World of Warcraft reference in my blog, because no gaming blog is complete without it. There we go. All other games suck, World of Warcraft is great, 12 million people play it, yadda yadda yadda. 9 out of 10 male WoW players have not seen a real vagina since 2004, shattering another record, previously held by Everquest.

Today's Releases
Destroy All Humans - Path of the Furon (360)

 

Eveeldour writes:

Best Line :

What was so important this year that made people wait outside of a Wal-Mart with hundreds of other drool cup retards at 2am in 30 degree weather?

 

 

Mon Dec 01 2008 11:02AM Report
Koolaider writes:

Epic Savings Maneuvers

Mon Dec 01 2008 2:57PM Report
Thekandy writes:

"Lucifer's Toy Chest
Just as the internet wacko's begin to ban video games in time for the 2008 Holiday season, Lucifer's Toy Chest presents their own list of 2008's banned toys, which include several video games and video game accessories. I haven't been this completely baffled by a website since 1998. It seems like satire that borders on the edge of reality which is some pretty fuckin scary shit."

You got that right, two things that struck me there as extraordinarily crazy was the statements of creativity and teamwork being the devils tools, and a black ken doll should be a hate crime.
I picture these people sitting alone on their couches, wearing pointy white hoods while staring blankly into their tv sets.

The most scary thing is that the people that wrote all that nonsense might be serious.

Tue Dec 02 2008 12:40PM Report
Thekandy writes:

But then again, they might not and probably aren't serious, so it's all good stuff.

Tue Dec 02 2008 12:45PM Report
slask777 writes:

Lucifers Toy Chest...WoW..that site baffled me. Can people really be this stupid? I guess so. If there really is a church like that, wow. I want to know where they are so I can do some deliberate terrorism on their grounds, hahaha..like displaying homo-cucumbers(their own words) or that funny japanese childrens wanktoy, now with a floating demon inside(also their own words) along with some of the totally evil, satan-induced, judgement day prophesy signed pokemon toys :D

Fri Dec 12 2008 9:02PM Report

MMORPG.com writes:
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