There are few things a person truly needs in his or her life. Food, drink, shelter, and the Beatles would throw in love for good measure I’m sure. All other things in life could probably be summed up as luxuries. But I’ve come to realize over the past few days that there’s something else which should be added to the list of bare essentials: the Internet. My fiancée and I just moved out of a condo and into our very own house (hooray for no shared walls!). Originally my internet service was supposed to be installed on the very day that the move occurred. But as I’m sure many of you are aware, cable companies don’t always come when they’re supposed to.
We had al ofl our stuff moved in and most of it unpacked by Saturday. By this time, I’d spent roughly sixty hours without the soft glow of the internet warming me through and through with its Youtube, Hulu, and Facebook. More so, I’d spent this much time without the reliable safety of my online worlds. Now of course I’m exaggerating here, but when I had several hours to kill without a decent book to read, or TV to watch, or even a fiancée to spend some quality time with… I found myself incontrovertibly bored.
I don’t know about you, but I actually just surf the same handful of sites when I’m bored, and next thing I know I’m not bored anymore. Or at least I’m less bored. What’s more important is that all my true timewasters are bound to the internet. Most of my gaming is attached to the stipulation that I simply must have an internet connection at my disposal. The recent DRM fiasco over Ubisoft’s decision to require an internet connection to play their PC offerings (and daring to call the monstrosity a “services” platform) only further causes me to shudder when I think of what life would be like if I didn’t have an internet connection.
What else do I need the internet for? I own the Xbox 360 and even to enjoy that fully I need to have my internet connection running smoothly. We don’t have cable TV by choice, and instead do most of our viewing through Hulu and Netflix Instant… both services that require an active internet connection. In my new town I’m lost. I am one of those folks who eventually knows the ins and outs of a place better than born and bred natives, but in a new place I’m perpetually adrift among the unfamiliar roadways. More to the point, my TomTom needs the internet to stay most up to date. Yes, I’m one of those people who updates his GPS every night. Better prepared than sorry, people!
I finally managed to have the cable company to come out this afternoon, after nearly a week without service, I can check my ridiculous (yet addictive) farm in Farmville. I can stalk my friends on Facebook. I can creep the forums here as much as I’d like. I can watch last week’s episode of Lost. I can log into Allods, WAR, PotBS, Global Agenda, and play as much L4D as I want. Oh yes, it is good to have my trusty sidekick and series of tubes back at my disposal. I never want to be without him/her/it again.
Oh sure, if I really had to I could play offline games. I could use a map. I could actually call my friends instead of seeing how many times in a day they poop and tell us about it on Twitter. I could (gasp!) actually spend time socializing and dig up a few old books that always deserved a second read. I could even sit down and have a conversation with the woman I’m planning on spending the rest of my life with. But there’s plenty of time for all that! The internet is now! The internet is Peanut-Butter Jelly Time! The internet is LOLCatz! The internet is a pickle that has more fans than Nickelback! If I didn’t have the internet, how would I know when celebrities did something stupid? Okay, so maybe we could all do without that last part.
Now if you’ll excuse me, my gibberlings are calling. They’ve missed me.