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Bad Tanking And The Fall Of Western Civalisation

The Thoughts And Random Musings Of An Old narcissistic MMORPG Addict.

Author: spookydom

OK lets get this out of the way quickly.........ummmmm.........This month, I kind off, sort off.....Re-subbed to WoW. (I know, I KNOW! STOP JUDGING ME! STOP JUDGING ME!)  Anyway now that's out of the way and if you are still reading, I would like to share with you genteel reader,some of my experiences. I also don't really want to touch on the feelings of some of the community about what this game has done to the industry or what negative things some people feel the game is responsible for. This Blog is just about my recent experiences and I hope it can be appreciated as such.  Let me start by saying I love this site and the community, warts and all. I have never written a Blog here before but have always had a hankering to contribute one. If its any good and people like it I will continue. If not I'm happy to pretend it never happened if you guys are. I'm going to tell you a little bit about myself now whether you like it or not. I'm a 35 year old currently single player from the Grand City Of Bristol in the UK.  In my time I have been a professional session musician, a drug addict, a youth worker, sold second hand furniture for charity and part of NASA's first maned space mission to Mars. (I made that NASA  bit up, that never happeneddd) I am also badly dyslexict...deslaxtic....dislactic.....Oh,  you get the idea so please forgive the inevitable spelling and punctuation mishaps that are bound to ensue, especially with my penchants for overly flowery  and  pretentious words and things. So, lets get started.  I think in my time of playing these games I have been a very lucky boy indeed. My five year love and addiction to MMORPG's started.......ummmm.....five years ago with World Of  Warcraft. I came into the game with a large bunch of my real life friends. Most were established already on the server ( Neptulon E.U) and some had been playing since beta. Over time we formed into a pretty kick ass guild. We knew each others play styles, we worked well together, we never took things to seriously but still dealt with anything the game could throw at us. In short we were wicked cool and I had a great time. When I moved on to other games I always seemed to find myself in good guilds with decent players.  I've never really had to p.u.g or had problems finding a group and that is why I say I am lucky. There has always been somebody online I trusted to work through content with. This brings me back to the re-subbing to wow .(Sorry for the big digression there folks).


        I don't know why I did it but I did,  and  that was after I made a solemnn vow by the powers of Greyskull and the great Jimmi Hendricks never,  ever to touch it again. I checked back in the old server (By the time I left the game we had rolled as Horde on Vek' nilash E.U. In my opinion The Horde is were all good players end up;)). At this time only two of my old gang are still playing the Blizzard behemoth and they are members of some of the hardest working raid guilds on the server. Uber Geared out the backside etc etc My main was a level 80 holly pally heal-bot who I am not currently on speaking terms with. Just the thought of his smarmy Blood Elf face makes me want to drop kick my computer out of a window.  I decided I  wanted to start again, experience the game from the beginning with a new toon before it changes forever with the coming apocalypse. Kind of a farewell tour if you like. I could not expect any help from my friends as those two have there own commitmentss now (Big shout out to Catbrain and Tigels. You know who you are......also have you ever thought about forming some kind of crime fighting team?)  and even though I'm still a bit confused as to why I actually re-subbed in the first place, I always knew I wanted this to be a solo mission:).  So after faffing around for a few days on Neptulon with some old  Alliance toons, relearning how to play the game I was ready to start. I had to roll Horde so back to Vek'nilash.  Just after a few days spent amongst the self righteous Alliance made me realize I was playing in the wrong band. But what to roll? Decided on a Shaman in the end. Had heard most of there leaking manna problem had been sorted in the time I was away. And Enhancement Shaman's melt faces. Also if I missed healing I could re-spec later on or duel spec or whatever.  Chose to go Tauren. yeah, I know they have a habit of defecating wherever they feel like and Thunder Bluff smells of poo but nobody can deny they look pretty imposing and if you don't think that. then I would like to take this opportunity to go on record as not agreeing with you.

 So there I was, balls deep outside Red Cloud Mesa. No guild and no mates  with a new toon on World of Warcraft for the first time in two years. A lone Tauren Shaman with poor bowel control on a one cow mission to experience the noob zones before Deathwing nukes the crap out of them.  levels one through twenty went pretty smoothly. I realized two things in this time.


1 - Oh my goodness has this this game been nerfed or what?
2 - This is not the game I fell in love with.
3 - I was actually having fun....and nobody was more surprised than me.


  OK that's three observations, and I apologize for that. As I was saying this is not the game I fell love in love with, this is a different game. Maybe all the time I have spent away from it has given me a fresh perspective and I read these forums every day and I've heard about the changes and was expecting to get massively narked off by them, put on a sailor suit and sit sulking in a corner with my thumb in my mouth crying about the good old days. Maybe I have just been missing Wow's pick up and play happy go lucky style but as much as I wanted to, I could not deny that I was having a good time. Hours passed and I realized I wished I had installed an intercom system so I could buzz my housemates to bring me a potty and some Hot Pockets. (Being a Brit I have no idea what a Hot Pocket is. WTF is a Hot Pocket when it's at home anyway?). So, I was getting into the game. reading the quests and kind of making up my own story in my head about my toons adventures as lots of us do. Before you know it I'm level 35 with a Kodo mount. Yeah, mounts at level 20 now? actually that's one nerf I can forgive. After running round Mulgore for a day or two I really appreciated my Kodo. As an aside just for a moment one mount nerf I will never forgive is the Pally epic mount. That is one quest chain I absolutely friking despised with a passion, but the feeling of accomplishment I got when I was finally holding the keys to my brand new bad ass Charger  I would want all future Pally's to share in. Back on topic, I'm level 35 and realize I get mail Armour in five levels. I want the scarlet chain set. The scarlet monastery has always been in my top five instances and this was as good a time as any to go back in for some dungeon crawling. I needed a group. I had a quick look at my friends list  and realized my old buddy's now spend most of there lives in Icecrown. Doubt  they have  time for my little Shaman. Then I remember the new dungeon finder feature. "Sweet!" I think to myself "I can just spend the next five levels living in the scarlet monastery until I get my Armour set.......How bad can it be?"


   You remember how I said at the beginning of this Blog how I've never had to find a pick up group...........well as you vet's can imagine I was in for a bit of a surprise. Over the last two days I have run the Scarlet Armory alone sixteen times all through Dungeon Finder. I have never used Chat Roulettee but I imagine that dungeon finder is the mmo equivalent.. What an experience. I have seen the best and worst aspects of the games community from friendly like minded players, distant but highly competent pro players  Kids running it for the first time through to the horror story kind of players you only ever read about if your lucky not to end up in a group with them.  I have to finnish up by telling you about this last run that I made with my Shammy into the armory. I have trouble sleeping so I was up and ready for another crack at some Scarlet Armor at 4:00 am GMT this morning. There was no Waite time and I was literally inside the instance short of a minuet after logging on.  Had a quick scan of  my group for this run. Pally tank, shadow Priest, resto Shaman, feral Druid and my guy. You know it's a bad sign when two of your party take one look at the tank and then disappear saying things like; "This guy again...i'm out" and "I am never running an instance with this $%^&"£ again". Two members down and our  fearless Pally tank seemed non-pulsed. Bravely he runs into the first group of mobs and starts bashing away with gay abandon despite the rest of the group shouting he needs to waite for a healer. He shows no signs of stopping so I nobley take on the role of healer while the druid gets involved as a D.P.S bad boy. Inside five minuets and we are joined by a Blood Elf Priest and an undead Mage, who quickly go about there business.  As time passes it becomes apparent that this tank is not stopping for anything. Not manna breaks (not even his own), not to deal with adds, not for loot ,not for other team members to be rezed. He is not talking to anybody either. We get to Herod's room after three wipes. (God awful) the tank is not even waiting for heals himself. We ask him in the most polite way possible in the situation if he wouldn't mind just stopping while the healer has a drink.  I am just settling down for a nice glass of moonberry juice myself when all of a sudden the great one speaks to us for the first time.  "You come follow" and without further ado hes opening the door and going toe to toe with Herod. Nobody has any manna and just at the moment mobs we must have missed appear right on top of us. I don't remember how the actual conversation at that point went but is something like this.


Mage - "Tank adds"
Priest  - "oom"
Druid - "Tank wtf are you doing?"
Tank  - "-----"
(priest dies)
Mage - "tank!!!"
(Mage dies)
Druid try's to combat rez I try to heal the tank and Druid. To slow and taking to many hits. Druid dies, I die, tank dies. It's another wipe.
Mage - " Tank wtf!!"
Priest  - "Expletive expletive expletive you expletive expletive"
Tank - "noobs"  Tank disconnects
Me - "ff4 that!"
Mage -  "Omg what an expletive!"
Priest - "lets get back in and waite for another tank"
Me - "I have a reincarnation up, will bring you back in a sec"
I start rezing just at that point our new tank appears....its the same guy
Druid - "Omg no way"
Me - "unbelievable!"
Priest - " Happens a lot at this level"
Tank - "Follow me"  Half the party is still dead tank jumps into Herod and starts attacking again.
Everybody - "W8 ffs!"
Tank dies we all die. Another Wipe. Tank disconnects. Three minuets later we get our new tank and...you guessed it, it's the same guy again.
Mage - "Holly crispy crap not again!"
Tank - "You guys lets go!" Starts attacking Herod


At this point I am spurting my morning coffee out in gales of laughter. I have not seen something so funny in a long time and I realize that I am not frustrated or annoyed, I actually have enjoyed this little adventure. Perhaps I was wrong to think I was lucky never to have to p.u.g.  It's like seeing Leroy Jenkins in action first hand. Maybe it's because I have no p.u.g experience or that  I have been away for a while, or I have stopped taking the game so seriously or even stopped taking myself so seriously. I love the fact that characters like this are out there. They defiantly bring something to the game as an overall experience that I feel would be missing if everybody was a "leet" or "pro" or even just up for a bit of rational discourse. So I would like to dedicate my first ever Blog to you Mr take no crap Pally dude wherever you are and to all players of your particular idium. Thank you for beeing you:)


  And as for anybody who made it to the end of this rambling wall of text well done and thank you very much for taking the time to read it. You all stay out of trouble OK!

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