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Frustration Sprinkled With Happy Thoughts

Sometimes incoherent, mostly sarcastic, always about smart people stuff.

Author: Kedoremos

The life of an MMORPG addict

Posted by Kedoremos Tuesday January 15 2008 at 6:18PM
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There are a group of people in the world who shell out countless increments of $14.95 to invisible companies so they can jack in to virtual heroin. These people are collectively known as the MMORPG gaming community.

Here is the typical life cycle of an MMORPG gamer:
  1. Veteran player talks friend into joining him in his adventures.
  2. Friend goes and buys a copy at his local game store.
  3. Goes home, installs it, patches it, and creates an account and character.
  4. Logs in. Sees a golden “!” right in front of him.
  5. Instantly turns into a foaming at the mouth, physically addicted, socially inept, tool for The Man (The Man works for Blizzard by the way).
  6. Spends the next year or so really enjoying his time in the game. Starts to feel a little annoyed with certain aspects (mostly due to all the people who complain, “bitching by proxy” I like to call it)
  7. After a year solid he’s starting to feel like he’s really wasting his life. He tells his wife/friends/girlfriend/co-workers that he’s quit the game for good this time. He deletes his characters, uninstalls the game and breaks his disks. It’s finally over.
  8. Or so he thought. A few weeks pass, now he’s trying to figure out what to do when he’s not getting all the extra work done he’d missed in the last year. He’s trying to fill in the gap that this game filled for so long. He starts watching TV – it’s boring because Lost, Heroes, and all the other good shows are in their “mid-season break”. He tries to rent a lot of movies – no dice. He’s seen them all. He says to himself “Self, I’ve come this far, I’m not giving up now!”
  9. Three days later: He’s really bored now. He gets angry at the littlest things. He barks at his wife/girlfriend/friends/co-workers for no reason.
  10. He gives up, rationalizing “This game is my social life. I didn’t have much of one to begin with but at least when I was playing I actually had like-minded people to talk to. I’ll just learn to control myself better, set limits on my playtime and such.”
  11. Goes to a game store, buys a new copy and like a kid on Christmas he gleefully installs it and starts to play again. He has to start all over but he’s just happy his life is back to “normal” again.
  12. Two weeks later: His self control has faltered (again), his self esteem is lower now because he feels like he’s a failure (he is, actually) for giving in to his habit all over again.
Repeat steps 7 through 12 for about 3 years and that’s your typical MMORPG gamers’ life.


Sooner or later you start to realize it’s all pretty stupid. You’re letting yourself get caught up in something that means nothing. You justify this by saying “well everything pretty much means nothing when you’re dead” so you chug along like the tool you are, hoping that some day you’ll have the self control to control yourself.

ps. I'm moving this blog from Blogger to mmorpg.com because, well, I wanna.

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