This article is all in fun. Take it with a grain of salt ;-)
Gordon’s right, MMOs are a lot like women and, *stretch*, you might say that I’ve been around the block once or twice. Yes, I’ve tapped on many a keyboard and wiggled a fair share of mice in my day. But, when we’re talking gaming, it’s all about the risk. Before we can get sweaty at our keyboards, there’s something that must always come first. The introduction.
First dates are usually a little awkward. You order the steak before finding out that she’s a vegetarian. She picks her teeth when she thinks you’re not looking. The works. But, if all goes well, you might find yourself a love to last you the through the night. Or at least the next year.
Only a few of these firsts stand out to me now. Let’s see…
World of Warcraft: Ah, sweet lady WoW, how you vex me. Spoiler of other women games. Like a limbo stick, you set the bar low. But…. you dressed up all pretty and made me like it that way. You came on strong pulling kobolds from your cave but it was your look that really hooked me. Sure, you wore a little too much make-up and your mascara was a little smeared but you wore it with style. And when you let me into you Ragefire Chasm on the first night, WoW, you turned a boy into a nerd through and through.
Warhammer Online: Now here’s a game that really makes you wonder. A party girl, she was, and at her best in big groups. The first night, she hooked me with her humor. What with her dwarves in barrels and catapulted orcs, she was the life of a party filled with drunk people. When the people left and daylight hit, the night before’s beauty left and I was left with an old woman that smoked one too many cigarettes. Just like Seinfeld, WAR was a beauty in one light and a hag in the other.
Lord of the Rings Online: LotRO was a big woman. I mean, this chick had an expanse you couldn’t belt a boom-a-rang around. Still, she had a kind of beauty about her. The first time I scaled her mountain, I did it as a dwarf. Except, I kept running into the same three goblins over and over again. Sure, she talked too much the first date when all I wanted was a little action but I got a story that made me come back for another date the next night. LotRO’s the kind of date where you think you’re done and decide to go back for one more later in the week. Thankfully, this baby got back and makes it worthwhile.
Aion Online: Before I met Aion, I spent a lot of time getting ready. I wanted to look my best, but I admit, part of me wanted to look really bad too since I’d just come off a rocky string of game-ationships. There was something about her that reminded me of WoW. Too much makeup, maybe. Or maybe that she wore the same damn dress as her. Either way, Aion had class. She didn’t let me down her boss the first night. She made me wait and at the end of it, baby, she gave me wings. Yeah, sure, maybe I just used them to eye her up a little better on the next couple dates but still. You don’t turn down the milk when you’re holding the cookie. She’s on a trip right now but when she comes back, she’s coming back for good and we’re talking about getting an apartment together. The only problem is what to do about that third faction…
So, there’s a few to last you through the long night. Me? I’ll be going back to LotRO. She’s got the girth to earn her worth and that’s enough for me. Besides, we’re not monogamous. I bought the lifetime with her and it’ll keep me coming back until that weight problem gets to her. You know the sad thing? I don’t even want to help her with it. I like my games big.
How about you, do you remember any of your first dates?
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Fri Sep 11 2009 10:49AMOMG she is back....Run for you life. Mi Mi does look like something from WoW lol go figure.
Fri Sep 11 2009 12:05PMyay LOTRo
Fri Sep 11 2009 12:39PMWitty and funny =)
Fri Sep 11 2009 1:20PMThanks all! :-)
Fri Sep 11 2009 1:28PMMy first date with WoW was a looong one. I was hooked on her after 5 minutes, and I spent the whole night with her.
Fri Sep 11 2009 1:35PMToo funny. LOL
great little article.
Fri Sep 11 2009 1:35PMnice!
mine was with Aion as well. shes a beauty, and to be honest a pain in the butt sometimes now. but its all for the best.
Fri Sep 11 2009 1:51PMAwesome article put into a swingers perspective
I laughed so hard xD
Fri Sep 11 2009 3:52PMAllthough she was not an MMO, I would have to say my lady love was Diablo2, I never had soo much fun and everytime I left her I had to leave her to go to work or run some other errand, all i could do was think about getting back to her as soon as possible. :D I am hoping SuN will be a somewhat comparable beauty to spend my time with. now that she is open beta!
Fri Sep 11 2009 4:32PMYeah Aion is acting like a tease right now, she's showing just enough to raise your temperature a bit and keeps you coming back to see if she will show you more.
WOW is acting to easy and is just showing the goods without a care.
Warhammer was just a big let down while trying to be something else.
Fri Sep 11 2009 6:26PMMy first real Date that got me hooked was probably Swg before the nge and that, but some one kidnapped her, & put her on a tight weight schedule..Never seen her since..
Fri Sep 11 2009 7:10PMhaha, you guys crack me up.
Fri Sep 11 2009 9:03PMFunny but you cant forget lost loves too taken away from us before thier prime. liek Earth and Beyond, and well I cant think of anything else from a while ago that realy was woth playing IMO. lol.
Fri Sep 11 2009 9:38PMYou two etlar? Man she must of gotten around. If you ever find her again let me know. she owes me at least an explanation as to why she left me too.
Fri Sep 11 2009 10:54PMUO was how I lost my mmoginity. She was ugly, and a bit slow, but she was putting out, and there was no one else. I kept coming back.
Then I met EQ, she was smoking, but she made me pay for every little time I spent with her. I cussed at her, hated her, loved her. She had me coming back for years no matter how mean she was.
Then DaoC, how I loved thee! She gave me excitement, prowess, and applauded when I did bad things to other players. She got old and tired as time went on, not to mention a little trashy.
Fri Sep 11 2009 11:16PMHAH. Fantastic.
Sat Sep 12 2009 4:11AMMy first date was Diablo. While awaiting Diablo 2 long in coming with promising of taking me places I had never been. A few side dates with StarCraft and Warcraft with no interest in them. Loosing many friends to the new kid on the block EQ whom I learned to hate for taking so many of my friends away. Then a friend sent me a copy of that hated one.
The date with EQ began with loathing on my part. Hoping that D2 would hurry and bring all my friends back home. EQ's massiveness and beauty stole my heart and for over 5 years kept me faithful. D2 had come out but was not all I had expected or hoped for and so it was only a fling from time to time.
As EQ grew and developed it grew in the wrong direction for me. It wasn't fun anymore so I began dating others LotR on a trial and AC2 even did some beta testing along the way. Then I went on a trial date with WoW and fell in love again. It was right after WoW went live and our relationship is still going on. I do fear he is heading down a very rocky road.
Aion has been teasing and tugging but I refuse to go out with her unless she can over a trial period where I can take a look at her without it costing me. I don't buy the package unless I can sample it first.
Meanwhile Atlantica is my fling when I find myself bored or wanting a taste for something a bit different. Looks nice and is fun as well. It makes you help others and benefit from it. So it takes away those greedy ones. No room for them in Atlantica. OH it is FREE.
Sat Sep 12 2009 12:20PMSevorin72, you hit the nail on the head there about EQ. Man, she's such a dominatrix! (And aren't we all turned on by the whips and chains? :p At least, until we wake up with one too many bruises or cuts.)
Great blog post there!!
Sat Sep 12 2009 12:21PMIf you like this post, check out my latest one. Hopefully it'll give you a chuckle :-)
http://www.mmorpg.com/blogs/gamebynight/092009/4692_So-your-spouse-hates-video-games-part-1-dropping-your-threat
Sat Sep 12 2009 3:12PMHmm my first date with WoW, well she showed me some videos of her and showed me what she can do and I wanted to do those things to her too.. so she started me low and you have to work to get to her heart but when you get there it's an awesome place to be :D.
Sat Sep 12 2009 5:47PMGreat post!
My mmo-cherry was claimed by EQ. She was my first love and always have a special place in my heart, even though I left her for her younger sister, EQ2, who still is worth taking out for dinner first...
I never got past second base with UO or DAoC. I left them on the couch feeling quite frustrated.
I committed to LotRO long term, but like you said, it's a very open relationship.
And while I enjoyed the party girl of WAR, she doesn't give me any conversation at breakfast.
AoC is truly luscious, but I am finding that I need more than her. Though her intense curves keep bringing me back for more.
Sun Sep 13 2009 12:38PMMMORPG.com writes:
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