Usually, I try to be pretty forgiving of a game. I try to give it several chances before posting any hate. I normally try to keep in mind that I do not understand the game, or simply have not played it long enough to know the basics. That's cool.
But, I don't know if I am just hungry, or what, but this game has frustrated the living hell out of me. Seriously, I don't GET frustrated. EVER.
Basically, Mindark released a new, prettier version of their really f*****g ugly game called "Entropia Universe." It is now called "Planet Calypso."
OK, I have played this game a few times over the last few years. Each time it is interesting, but the game-play is so sluggish that it is hard to get into it. The game not only LOOKED dated, but PLAYED dated. REALLY dated. If there is one thing that can kill my fun now-a-days, it's reminding me of the time when games were really that primitive. Playing in the EQ days 10 years ago was fun, but we had to do a lot of tweaking, messing with, adjusting, and plenty of "f*****g around with" just to get something like basic controls comfortable.
So, I thought this was a chance for MindArk to bring Entropia into the NOW. You know, give it an over-haul, try to get more people playing it. You know, do something good for the game.
Ok, stop. I'll stop right here. I am going to go make another brand new character or account to MAKE SURE I am not missing something. I'll be back.
*goes to load game*
*picks this up the next day*
Ok, let's go through this with some pictures. First of all, if you were an old player and wanted to go check out the new stuff, you google "entropia" and go to their site:
You click on the Planet Calypso link, and come to the next page. No warning of "beta client" or anything like that. Just a big old download link:
The forums are a mumble-jumble of a mess. Like the game, you have to take your time to find anything. Not that this takes you more than 5 or 6 minutes, but who DOES this type of thing anymore? This feels so dated already:
When you finally load the game, you notice that it doesn't look that good at all. By default, my game was set at "high." Here is an avatar set at "high": (notice that yellow button? That happened, somehow, when I was trying to set my key bindings. You have to open up a lil keyboard and then all your actions, and drag the action to the key. For some reason, that yellow key became bound to MY SCREEN. I tried resetting, opening up the bindings again, but nothing. It was a "strafe left" button and it stayed there. MindArk: just MAKE A LIST of all the actions, and have us CLICK THE BUTTON we want bound to it. You know, like every other f*****g MMO out there allows us to DO.)
And weird shit is happening alllllll the time. What IS this golden halo thing that I kept seeing over my head? Well, I should say that it would happen NEAR my head, behind it slightly. I finally snagged a screenie of it. To the game's credit, this probably has something to do with game-play later on:
And what game would feel like it was from '01 without getting stuck in a wall? Seriously..in a WALL. Now, this does happen to games all the time. It's common. But, no clue as to what to do in this situation. All I found out (through searching the bloated key bindings) is that T means "teleport":
While I was teleporting, some guy got stuck too:
Here is a bank, in the city. The lil character in the shot there is a player that got stuck in the bank. He ran around in circles and couldn't get out. Amazing:
Some of the wonderful choices you have in this brilliant game:
Annnnndd here's another shot showing how bad this new upgrade actually CAN be. This shot looks like something out of Second Life. No, I am not kidding. This isn't bad for Second Life, being that many of those textures and costumes are MADE BY AMATEURS. But this is a brand new graphical engine, and is not supposed to look like SECOND LIFE:
This is just a funny screenie. Every time I teleported, I stared at this screen for about 2 minutes. Must of been my PC, but who knows? For the record, this PC runs every other thing in the world just fine, at high settings:
I turned up everything to max, and got this shot. Not bad, actually, but worth the small amount of lag? Nah:
Ah, yes, the "Tutorials." They tell you how to do everything, without telling you how to get the things that you need to do the job. (Where the f**k do I get my WEAPON? Could you have just given me a basic pea-shooter?) According to those that finally acknowledged me, the developers took out all of the basic tutorials that the "old" version had:
Another funny strange event. Again, probably due to my card, but it is strange that this never happens in any other game:
This is a screenshot on "high:"
This is a screenshot on the highest settings. No difference:
More beautiful, new and hip avatars:
And some of the chat, in which I ask for help and get the explanation that they took away all of the basic stuff that a noobie would need. People were helpful, though, but they didn't make the game:
Now look, I'm down with development. I have spoken before (and still mean it) that developers really do nothing wrong, because they are offering you a toy. And they are. Just refuse the toy if you don't like it.
But just tell me if the toy is supposed to be an inside joke. Just tell me if I need to be a vet player to understand how to do something as basic as killing something. You need me to put 10 bucks into your game to start off? Fine. Just TELL ME. If this is not a beta test, just a buggy release, JUST TELL ME. Yes, I saw your little note on the front page mentioning that some things might not be available in this version, but you mean to tell me that you seriously took out basic noobie tutorials? For what reason?
And just look at your controls, and your interface. Just take a minute and LOOK at it. When I log in, for example, I see a non-stop stream of blue chat telling me that "so and so just dug up a dead body worth 504 ped and is now super popular!" It keeps going, on and on. Ok, so on the chat bar there is a little button colored the same as the annoying text. I click that little button (as you can see in the screenies) thinking that I turned the chat off. NOPE. It keeps coming, and coming.
Here's the deal, if you are not from America and do not speak American-ease, hire someone that speaks English much gooderer than me. Give them 1,000 bucks and have them sit down at the PC (and while you're at it, try the game on A FEW DIFFERENT systems) and go through this entire process. I did it in a few afternoons. Have them look for spelling errors, bad translations, stuff like that. JUST DO IT. If you have so many basic errors, it makes you seem like an amateur. YOU ARE NOT AN AMATEUR. Last I heard, you were a legal BANK.
Now, look. I understand that after a while I will get used to the "learning curve" and will grasp all the controls and finer points of the game. I understand that to many players, this is all elementary stuff. But let's play a game, ok?
Guess the word that I am thinking of.
Go on, guess.
Ok, it was orange. Did you guess it? Nope? But, it's SO F*****G SIMPLE.
Hiding stuff from me in bloated interfaces or behind non-existent tutorials does not mean your game is deeper or more complex than a simple game of hide-and-seek. Just give me the basics. Sure, players in your game might brag about how they passed through the gauntlet of "the learning curve" (like they STILL do with EVE despite having many good tutorials.) But, that's not what most players want nowadays. People don't need to "figure out" basic things like a CHAT CHANNEL. Also, if you are trying for a graphical re-do, why go for a new look that not only doesn't look quite THAT real, but that also requires a much beefier system than the previous players were used to?
Trying for realism in your video game, at this point in technology, is pretty stupid. If you try for ultra-realism, you will usually fall short of the mark, only drawing attention to the fact that it doesn't look real at all, just really weird. Go for a stylized look. It's easier on systems, and lasts longer because there is no "reality" measuring tape for your game to go after. EQ2 learned a lesson about having a graphics system that looks OK, but just OK, and only at the highest settings.
Anyway, I'll give it some time. I am very forgiving of a beta. Hell, I am very forgiving of the 3 or 6 month period after a beta. A MMO is always changing, developing. Oh, wait. This isn't a beta. They just took some tin foil and wrapped a turd in it.
I will check back in a month or so. Go download the client, fair reader. Tell me what you think. I will bet that I am missing something really simple, but you get me.