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Spouse Aggro!

I blog at, write for, run and post all over the net. HOWDY!

Author: beauturkey

Dear Darkfall: It's not you, it's me.

Posted by beauturkey Thursday June 18 2009 at 10:19PM
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I know it hasn't been long. What...2 weeks? 3? But let me just explain.

Sit down. No, not there. That chair's broken.

Ok, look. I still think you're really Immersive, and graphically you are much better than I thought you would be. Pretty, actually.

But you're just not the right game for me. You're all about getting together with several of your friends and going after other groups of friends. You know, like a game of paint-ball. I enjoy those kinds of things once in a blue moon, but generally my off-time from real life doesn't involve so know..running.


In my real life I walk about 2 hours a day. I bike to work, do housework and yardwork. I clean up pee and poo at work, then come home to do the same with my animals. The last thing I want to do is to come home and run around, looking for not only something to shoot, but trying to avoid being shot. Let's be honest, though, as soon as I saw how equipment and loot has no value, even that fear turned into boredom.

So yeh, you're into partying and large groups of men getting together. That's fine. I like sports, sometimes, even when half of the sport is one big commercial for products I never buy. Also, I understand that you're an MMO, and by definition MMO's are meant to be played in large groups.

But that's not my bag, baby. Even though there are some really cool people that play you, I can rarely find them.


I'm a dork..I like to look at virtual sunsets and talk to people, and all of that I like to punctuate with the occasional bouts of serious adventure. I guess I look at all that action as anything in life: boring if done too much. So, I'm a little protective of my adventure, I use it sparingly. I know that it would only be a matter of time before my (normal) human brain grows accustomed to it and looks elsewhere for excitement.

But there's another problem: there's no other adventure in you. No mobs but the occasional bear, no birds in the sky. When I look at Ryzom I see a game FULL of life, entire herds of animals all moving with the seasons. But you only offer me horrible chat (I had to even turn off local chat) with the occasional player trying to jump in my arrows path (happened twice today) along with the promise of a possible clan (sometime possibly) in my future. But no RP, whatsoever. I looked..the three possibilities long gone.

I just don't have the energy to try and start my own thing. I'm already doing that in several other games. Maybe if this was another time and place...

Anyway, good luck. I think you have a lot to offer a player that is looking for what you offer.

Also, I kinda' sorta' think you're as boring as Hell.

Ok, well, I gotta' get to the movies. Yeh, I'm meeting Ryzom, Vanguard and a handful of weird Asian MMO's. Nah, I think it's better you stay here. Well, I mean leave. Hey! I heard that whats-his-name was looking for you. Yeh..there ya go..give him a call:


Beau Turkey

Mystik86 writes:

Don't blame ya. I was expecting a bit more solo content so I could roleplay by myself. I suppose nothing will ever come close to Morrowind...

Fri Jun 19 2009 4:43AM Report
kazamx writes:

Didn't Yew Milita help you out?


I primed them that you would be getting in contact for some RP.

Fri Jun 19 2009 5:16AM Report
beauturkey writes:

I asked several times in Race chat, and every time everyone made it a point to say they were defunct. The first time I thought that it was just kids being kids you know..but after the third or fourth, I gave up. hehe

 Anyway, they can still contact me, but where is the mailbox in the cities?

 Sounds like a dumb question, but I have no idea where to check the mail. Come to think of it, I have never looked.





Fri Jun 19 2009 6:42AM Report
BizkitNL writes:

I kinda felt this way the moment I saw how "gank" was an actual feature. Too bad it took you longer to find out. Had a good ride atleast?

Fri Jun 19 2009 9:43AM Report
Ashrik writes:

 Oh you didn't know? Mail systems are too carebear for Darkfall. In the near future, let us remember it as the game that was too hardcore to care if it lasted a year or not.

Fri Jun 19 2009 9:47AM Report
drkl writes:

I liked the article, it was nicely written.

Fri Jun 19 2009 9:58AM Report
Jacobin writes:

If you are looking for anything beyond various groups of roaming rape gangs you will unfortunately have to look elsewhere I'm afraid.


Fri Jun 19 2009 10:17AM Report
Fr0z1nDuDe writes:

darkfail ftw

Fri Jun 19 2009 11:34AM Report
Devour writes:

At least it didn't take you too long to realise how poor it was.

Fri Jun 19 2009 11:46AM Report
Oyjord writes:

It's only a matter of months, not years, but months, before Darkfail closes its servers.

Fri Jun 19 2009 12:17PM Report
WOWthatsucks writes:

another darfall e-mail in my in box.. will it never end?

Fri Jun 19 2009 4:28PM Report
beauturkey writes:

 From my blog comments section: (so I won't have to re-write it)

 Be aware that I am not posting the screen-shots of the chat, being that everyone knows what the chat is like. On my blog you can find them, and I have plenty more. No secret there, though.


My main point in posting the last few screenies is to show that the AVERAGE player of games like Darkfall (first person shooters) can really live up to the stereotypes. DF is not my first PvP/FPS game, at all.
It’s the same as going to a death metal concert, or going to any event that is made to attract a certain audience: you can expect stereotypes, and will usually find them.

This is NOT saying in any way that all players are that way, but the AVERAGE one is. If that wasn’t true, they wouldn’t exist.

That’s not a bad thing, that’s just the way it is. While many people can sit back and have a good laugh with the chatter and actions in these games, it just makes me feel like I’m 15 again. I don't want to be 15 again.

Notice also that I do not say the game is bad, just bad for me. Of all people, I am the one to not slam a game because I know that it might be fun for someone.

Also notice that I will return back to the game after it’s been fleshed out a bit.

Anyway, thanks for the comments. Don’t worry, Darkfall never noticed me anyway.



Fri Jun 19 2009 5:33PM Report
seabeast writes:

not time lost, time learning

Fri Jun 19 2009 9:09PM Report
beauturkey writes:

Sea, I'm going to steal that.



Fri Jun 19 2009 10:01PM Report
Inktomi writes:

 hey bt,

You just dumped Darkfall. 

   I rolled when I was watching you stream your darkfall. I was in suspense watching you run away from goblins that tried to gang___ you. Then it dawned on me just how bland the place looked. We talked about the comparison of Morrowind to Darkfall, I was referring to the outdated graphics and character movement. And I did see the SS you were clipping on the fly, the one with gay references, I felt like I was back in the Dunes of FFXI and the barrens (pre-BC). I think both you and I have graduated from those places, not only in levels but in mentality.

And remember when I asked you in an earlier post if it was worth your fitty bucks and fitteen for subscription, you just answered it.


Sat Jun 20 2009 12:15AM Report
beauturkey writes:

 Well, it would be worth it to someone that wants basically a FPS experience. To me and you, nah, not worth it.

 Still, I think the game will do fine, and their problems with subcription access and all that might actually save them, keeping their game the size that it could only survive as.

 A lot of indie games get a lil attention and start throwing on servers, I will be very very surprised if this game ever gets over 2.

 We'll see...I'll check back in a few months.





Sat Jun 20 2009 7:09AM Report
Ryukan writes:

Great blog, but mych nicer than I would be about Darkfall after playing it for over a month. But really, the title should have been

"Dear Darkfall, it's not's me. Nahhhh it's you."

Sat Jun 20 2009 9:41PM Report
Phelcher writes:

Perfect review!

Not only is the game boring, but there is nothing along the lines of traditional MMORPG stuff to do. Battlefield 2 has more depth than Darkfall... and better combat too ..!!


Sun Jun 21 2009 2:50PM Report
Krepss writes:

Darkfall is a total pile of trash on the same level as Dark and light.. the only difference is that you can actually log into to Darkfall and do nothing...

Sun Jun 21 2009 5:33PM Report
immortum writes:

Great write up.  Much more immersive than DF.  How sad.

Mon Jun 22 2009 6:58AM Report
Einh writes:

Well, I guess you can't win em all eh? Darkfall isn't for the feint of heart

Mon Jun 22 2009 10:31AM Report
beauturkey writes:

 Actually, Darkfall is just fine for the feint of heart. There's nothing scary about it. The hardest part about it is to find something to do.

 It would be different if Darkfall went all the way and made getting killed mean something, but it does not.

 But yeh, it's not for those that like things to do! hehe





Mon Jun 22 2009 8:22PM Report
Shadowslady writes:

ruleset is awesome. world needs a lot of work in terms of PvE population and market development. The core is sound though. Oh and a 3rd person view. I  HATE  FPS. Too clunky.

Tue Jun 23 2009 2:13AM Report
Gorilla writes:

I think you are being to generous to what is really just a one night stand that leaves a nasty little rash.

Thu Jun 25 2009 4:36AM Report
TheNinjaboy writes:

Ultimately darkfall turned out to be one of the most enormous grindfests ever in an MMO.

Add in the fact that outside of enormous zergs the fighting is fairly uneventful and the action is boring you have a fail on every level.

I actually feel sorry for the devs because unless they do a NGE type change to the leveling system this game isn't going anywhere but down.


Sat Jun 27 2009 2:28PM Report writes:
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