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Spouse Aggro!

I blog at www.spouseaggro.com, write for www.ablegamers.com, run www.mmovoices.ning.com and post all over the net. HOWDY!

Author: beauturkey

Gamers head explodes after becoming bored with boredom.

Posted by beauturkey Monday April 20 2009 at 10:15AM
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ILLINOIS  - A 22 year old man was found dead earlier Saturday morning after neighbors hear a loud popping sound followed by a great rush of air. On the scene officials found the man still sitting at his computer with at least 2 inches of snack debris around his feet, his computer still on and the 350 GB hard-drive filled with a random assortment of MMORPGs, popular video games frequented by boys 12-23 and girls 25-47.

Further investigation showed that the boy had died of a sudden mind-blowing experience in which the boy realized that he not only had grown bored by the gaming that had taken over his life, but had no alternative but to be bored with the thoughts of boredom. He had wallpapered his walls with printed images of popular MMORPGs, and all of them having cryptic one-word phrases like "MEH" and "FAIL" scribbled across them.

The CDC has become more concerned in recent years over similar deaths, stating that "..today's young men and older women face a gruesome, boring death if they do not learn to cope with their feelings of boredom. We have begun to see a rise in this kind of behavior, usually triggered by a combination of playing these games for years straight while visiting such websites as www.imboredalready.com or www.meaningfulpvp.org." The CDC website has posted some tips for parents of this children (and adults that still live at home) to recognize the signs of an individual suffering with MMO fatigue.

The gaming industry has begun to use very creative measures to insure that players don't grow bored with games as quickly. One popular MMORPG called "Dragonsbane: The Glistening" has capped their Frames Per Second (the smallest unit of E-Peen) at 3 so that players wait longer to see what happens. Another major release by Inebria Studios has not even been named yet, for fear that players will grow bored with the organization of letters or the font.

Here are a few of the tips from the CDC website for helping combat gaming boredom:

1) Only allow 3 screen-shots to be viewed for each upcoming release.

2) No viewing of websites that have forums, or that allow any contact between gamers.

3) Only allow play sessions of any game to last a maximum of 15 minutes.

4) Do not allow games to leave "short-cuts" on the desktop of the afflicted gamer as this would allow a bored gamer to easily spend hours hovering over the icons with his/her mouse without actually playing any of the games.

5) Unplug the PC if ever the gamer brings home any boxes marked "Clearance" or with a price of 4.99 or under. At that point, the gamer has begun to reach desperation.

For more tips and guidelines to a healthy gaming life-style, visit www.cdc.gov/meh.

 

 

“The contents of this post do not necessarily reflect the views of MMORPG.com and its management.”

 

 

 

Cynthe writes:

Lawl very nice!!! Is there an organization that accepts donations; ie: GAB, Gamers Against Boredom?

Mon Apr 20 2009 10:49AM Report
beauturkey writes:

 I think I need to start one! :)

 

 Beau

Mon Apr 20 2009 11:27AM Report
dcostello writes:

 You're silly.

Mon Apr 20 2009 3:54PM Report
beauturkey writes:

I try!

Beau

 

Mon Apr 20 2009 5:44PM Report

MMORPG.com writes:
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